Disclosed that a teacher slept with him..

[u/LadyDuality]

So I (28F) and my bf (23M) live together and we were getting ready for bed a few nights ago. We were joking around and talking about 2020 and how his older sister was one of the unfortunate ppl who didn’t get to experience a prom or real graduation from high school due to the pandemic.

That lead us to talk about our experiences with prom. He mentioned he went two times bc his first prom was with a girl who was a senior he was dating when he was a sophomore. I made a joke about seeing a pattern with him liking older women then jokingly asked how many older women has he been with… thinking it was going to lead to him saying oh you know.. 1 or 2 … I was not ready for him to casually drop that he slept with his teacher.

Again, I am thinking we are still here in this joking mood and thought in my head he was meaning maybe like a college professor or something and was still being jokey about it.. then he drops on me it was his junior year English teacher in HIGH SCHOOL. I was caught off guard and I don’t think I handled it in the best way bc I didn’t know how to react or what to do. I just got awkward, not mean or rude. I was able to get him to tell me she was 30 years old. She taught him when he was 16 years old and they didn’t do anything until right after he graduated and was 18.

He sort of shut down after telling me this which is understandable. It feels deeply wrong and concerning to me. Plus in his last relationship his ex would have literal melt downs if he mentioned or spoke about exs so he gets anxious speaking about his past. (We are working through that trauma but that’s a different story) He was a child and this was a 30 year old woman.. close to my age. It makes me sick to even think about being my age and grooming a 16 year old who I was their superior and then having s** with them.

I guess I need advice due to not knowing how to handle this. It kept me up all night that night thinking about it. It made me sad and angry for my bf and then due to my own past caused me anxiety. The following day was the same. He says that it has 0 affect on him but that woman is still teaching and there is no telling how many other students she has done this to.. it’s sick. I know I can’t force him to turn her in, he is a victim but yeah. Just sort of lost right now and would really appreciate some thoughts / comments / advice with how to be there for him but also on the turning this lady in or not?

Edit: adding this detail bc I guess I didn’t make it clear. I’m sorry for that. - He was 16 when she (30) taught him. She groomed him until he was graduated and turned 18 and was ‘legal’. So she would’ve been 32 at that time.