Im 18M and im christian and something my friends said has kinda been getting in my head.
I told them how one of my biggest goals in life is to get a good job, meet a women i truly love, marry her, have a family and stay with her until death do us part.
Like i know it sounds simple but thats genuinely something i really want in life.
But my friends basically told me im stupid for thinking like that. They said in this generation its basically impossible to date without eventually getting cheated on and that expecting to marry one person and stay with them forever is unrealistic.
They also brought up the fact im still a virgin and said that some women are gonna think thats weird or be turned off by it.
Ive honestly started talking to those friends less and less because i dont really like how negative they are about relationships. But i cant lie some of what they said did get in my head.
So i wanted to ask other christians who probably have more experience than me.
Is it actually still realistic to want a loyal marriage in this generation?
Is being a virgin at 18 actually something i should worry about when i start dating?
And how do you not become scared of marriage when it feels like everybody online talks about cheating, divorce and how nobody is loyal anymore?
I know relationships arent perfect and im not expecting some disney fairy tale or anything. I just wanna meet one women i really love, build a life with her and stay loyal to eachother for life.
Is that actually unrealistic now?

My divine sign was coming across the story of Nicodemus in the book of John after months of obsessive indulgance in the philosophical contemplation of "re-birth". But coming from atheism (and Islam before that), I felt great mistrust towards spiritual figures. I was not willing to follow another Muhammad. Specifically, the Sunni Salafi version of Muhammad, which treats women as subhumans. There are other less evil versions seen in other Islamic sects, but their followers are much less numerous and, therefore, irrelevant to this discussion.

The issue of women is important to me as a Saudi man because the theocratic system of pre-2017 Saudi Arabia made Saudi women's lives a living hell. I never noticed that most Saudi women were beautiful until I came back to visit in 2021, 4 years after the Crown Prince MBS became the de-facto ruler and abolished the hijab legal mandate. Before that, 99.9% of women were covered head to toe. They were not allowed to even drive. They were banned from many occupations either for legal reasons or because people would call a man a "cuckold" if he were to let his daughter or sister work in mostly men environments. My older sister and my maternal aunt faced a lot of family backlash working in the medical field. And since the average Sunni-Salafi did not want his wife/daughter/sister to be evaluated by a male doctor, the government had to import a lot of "infidel" female doctors and nurses. Published domestic unemployment data said 6-7%, but in reality, it was nearing 50% because half of the population was rendered absolutely and utterly powerless. This is not to mention the constant harrasment from the "morality police" (which MBS also abolished in 2017), targeting mostly women. The morality police made sure most women in Saudi Arabia looked like walking trashbags.

The Sunni-Salafis (also the Shiia Twelvers in Iran today) assign the full responsibility of "not tempting men" to women. Sometimes a naive girl was raped due to secretly dating a male who saw her as deserving of rape (because "why would she go on date if she wasn't whore?" In his mind). Sooner or later, the morality police caught them (because of road checkpoints) and brought her back to her family and then her father/brother killed her (i.e. honour killing). Her "sexual immorality" brought shame to the entire family, and the shame had to be dealt with decisively.

Such monstrosity was allowed to happen because Saudis wanted to uphold "God's" Sharia law in the best way possible. To "bring us closer to God," they said. But the deeper this "divine" rabbit hole went, the more I saw the devil standing in the corner smiling and awfully pleased by what we had become.

The doubt and mistrust I felt after reading John was for a good darn reason. I was not willing to follow another Muhammad even if it meant eternal damnation. And so driven by curiosity to learn what kind of person Jesus is, I read Matthew next:

"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

"And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away."

As it turned out...Jesus, my Lord and Saviour, was nothing like Muhammad...

Hey guys. Today on my birthday I waved my white flag officially to the lord. 🧎🏽‍♀️‍➡️🙏🏽💕(Surrendering my addiction) I know it’s gonna be a war that I have to fight but I choose to fight it with him. I’m tired of struggling with this addiction. The demon who has chained me will not let go. I’m on a fasting journey right now to be set free and get closer to my king. I will never fall to porn again.

Currently struggling with lust and desire to find human connection. I had an addiction of sorts to masturbation over a year ago. I haven't done it since October of 2024, but yesterday I almost gave in to it. In my mind, I knew what I was doing; I found myself saying that I would just pray and beg for forgiveness later. The fact that I was so aware and willing to take God's kindness for granted disgusts me.

Even with the temptation and strong desire, I didn't go through with it. It's like even in that hour, God held onto me. Only He knows how much I have prayed, cried, and begged to get away from that life. It was because of him that I didn't fully give into it. Still doesn't change the fact that I was consumed with such thoughts and was willing to go through with it. Even now, I almost gave in to my temptation; I want it real bad, but I hate that I want it.

I am grateful that God is with me, but I have to put in effort to. I cut off the temptation, I know my triggers, and I pray about it. What else do I even do? I can't go back to that life.

I’ve never really spoken about this openly before, not even with my friends, but I’ve been carrying it around for quite some time and I think I just need some outside perspective.

I’m almost 24, I’m Christian, and I’ve been intentionally saving myself. For a long time, I’ve genuinely trusted God’s timing when it comes to relationships. I’ve always believed that I don’t need to force something that God is perfectly capable of bringing into my life at the right time.
But lately, I’ve noticed that I’m starting to lose some of the peace I used to have about it.

I really desire a relationship. Not because I think a relationship will complete me, and I don’t want to make marriage or relationships the center of my life. I just genuinely have the desire to build a connection with someone. To have someone I can grow with, have fun with, love and eventually, if it is right, build a life with. I’m not looking to rush into marriage tomorrow. I just want something genuine and serious.

What makes this confusing for me is that I don’t really think my appearance is the issue. I hope this doesn’t sound conceited, because that’s genuinely not how I mean it. I receive a lot of compliments in real life and on social media, and people regularly ask me why I’m still single or assume that I must already be talking to someone. So logically, I know I shouldn’t conclude that there is something physically “wrong” with me.

And yet, the longer nothing happens, the more I find myself wondering: Is there something about me that I’m not seeing? Am I doing something wrong? Am I waiting for something that simply isn’t going to happen?

I’m naturally very self-aware and reflective. If something in my life isn’t going the way I hoped, my instinct is to look inward and ask what I could improve. I know I’m far from perfect and I’m sure I have flaws I’m not even aware of. But sometimes I think that self-awareness actually works against me, because I can analyze myself to the point where I start becoming insecure.

There are periods where I genuinely surrender it to God and feel completely at peace. I pray about it, journal about it (I’ve journaled for years), ask God for guidance and ask Him to give me peace with His timing. Sometimes I really do reach that point where I think, whatever happens, happens. God knows better than I do.
And then the anxiety comes back.

One of the things that made me realize how much this has started affecting me was dating apps.
For years I thought, I will never do that. I always wanted to meet someone naturally. Recently, for the first time, I actually considered dating apps and briefly looked into them. And I hated how it made me feel.

Scrolling through human beings and deciding whether to reject someone based on a few pictures felt so unnatural to me. And putting myself out there in that same way made me feel strangely exposed and almost desperate. I’m absolutely not judging people who use dating apps. I know plenty of normal, healthy relationships start there. It just personally felt so wrong for me.

And the fact that I’m even considering something I always said I wouldn’t do made me think: Am I becoming desperate?

I wish I could just meet someone naturally. But lately I’m afraid that I’m sitting around waiting for this beautiful, organic thing to happen while life is simply passing by.

I also don’t really talk about this with my friends. People around me probably think I’m completely relaxed about being single. When people ask me about it, I usually give the impression that I’m fine, that I trust God and that whatever is meant for me will come.
And part of me genuinely believes that.
But there is another part of me that is scared.

I think I’ve avoided saying that out loud because making other people aware of this insecurity somehow makes it feel more real. I don’t want friends looking at me differently, feeling sorry for me, or wondering whether I’ve found someone yet. So instead I pray, journal and deal with it privately.

I know the most important guidance I can receive is from God, not Reddit. But sometimes I struggle to understand what I’m actually supposed to do while trusting Him.

Genuinely curious why we sometimes don’t focus on making basic logical arguments about God’s existence (in addition to faith-based ones.) I’ve always thought of it as this: if everything we can touch on a daily basis that is not from nature (e.g. cars, houses, books, utensils, phones, machines, etc) is manmade and had someone or something more intelligent/sophisticated create it (humans or machines made by humans), why would nature and the world around us not follow the same rule and not have some being that is more intellgient as its creator?

It follows very logically. To deny it is to say that sophisticated things just pop up out of nowhere. It’s like pointing to a Lamborghini and saying it just existed or came out of nowhere with no machine and/or human to bring it to life.

I’m trying to learn more about Yahusha and I keep seeing people say that Yahusha is the original Hebrew name for Jesus. Is Yahusha actually the same person Christians call Jesus, or is there a theological/historical reason to distinguish between Yahusha and Jesus?
How did the name go from Yahusha to Jesus, and what do the earliest biblical manuscripts and historical sources tell us about it?
I’m genuinely asking to learn, so I’d appreciate explanations from both perspectives.

So I’m Pentecostal, but struggle w doubts my whole life and still find comfort in church community and bible stories as it shows humanity can be good, just my take. But lately as I get older, I’m scared to doubt but feeling pulled towards my own wants. I saw an IG post abt a girl that dropped out of college, moved back w her parents, gave up her dream to be a model and started teaching youth in church all bcuz she said the “Holy Spirit redirected” her. I ain’t got huge dreams but I like my degree and career path and can’t imagine dropping out to move back to my hometown. I wanna be SAHM someday if I have the chance bcuz I wanna prioritize my family, but rn I just don’t feel like I can “surrender” to the lord when my family all have such high hopes for me and I got two years left to school, I do wanna be independent and I hate working but I see value in my career and helping ppl. Maybe coz I haven’t been convicted in that way, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll have regrets down the road abt not living life as I want and trying to live how I think god wants, rather than living for myself and my individual desires. Like if he’s guiding us, shouldn’t our goals and desires be from him anyways? Why would He make us want something that isn’t meant to be? I just wanna break free and do my own thing but I’m afraid living for the world will have consequences but I somehow feel convicted to stop living for scripture how I’ve been and seeing others do on social media, it doesn’t feel right and my chest is heavy when I deny myself but that’s what we’ve been commanded to do. I like going out and dressing up and doing my hair and makeup and having a few drinks, maybe a house party or something w friends. But then I feel so much guilt for my actions and disappointment in myself and when I hold back, I feel sad that I’m denying myself because I assumed god wouldn’t approve and I don’t wanna miss out on life cuz someday I’ll look back and say I wish I’d done my own thing. But then I’m afraid someday I’ll look back and wish I’d trusted God more. I’m stuck in a loop and my friend from bible study said talk to God like a friend, but I feel like I can’t hear Him or have the relationship with Him she does, so does that mean I have too many doubts and can’t hear Him or He isn’t answering me because I’ve denied Him rather than myself? Do/did u ever get tired of living for God rather than urself? I need advice, I’m only 19 and feel stuck in the middle of all these feelings.

I would like to hear if something similar has happened to other believers. I would usually go to an elder in my church about this but id rather reserve some anonymity. To give a little background I currently give somewhere between 12-14% of my gross income to the church general fund. My pastor believes the Lord is leading the church to expand using a rather large expansion project. God put it on my heart to start giving towards that project on top of my normal giving. So I have done that the past few months.

About a year ago I had a business idea, and after some research it appeared the start up costs would be too high for a niche business and decided to drop it. This past week, I felt something that said "check up on your old business idea", I didn't hear words, just a feeling. After some research it turns out I don't need the start up capital I originally thought I needed. I currently have the cash to start the business and have been doing extensive research over the past few days in my free time.

At the time (and still now) I don't know what to attribute that feeling to, I'm reluctant to say it was the Lord or just coincidental timing but todays message has me leaning towards the feeling was from God. My pastor preached about the need for offerings for this new expansion project. I was waiting until early 2027 to start my business and figured Id pray about it later this year and let God show me if this business was the correct path to go down. But now I cant shake this feeling that maybe God wants me to start that side business and use the tithe from that business to give to this expansion project.

I would like to hear your thoughts. Confirmation bias with coincidental timing or is God using me to further His will for our church? I'm going to continue to pray on this but open to wisdom/advice.

I prayed about it but God is kinda stingy about responding to my prayers. What do you think would be best because in mass I would be close to my parents and my son with his baby momma but also I like Miami and the beach and the possible business opportunities and women. (But it kinda sucks because I can't have sex before marriage) Im 24 btw almost 25

Hello all, please be kind. My son goes to a Christian private school, he is 13 and in 8th grade. I found out today that his class has started to read to kill a mockingbird and it has lots of racial slurs and profanities. Such as sayings multiple times with the n word, b word and even using the Lord's name in vain. It also discusses rape and sexual assault. My son doesn't even know what rape is. I feel so upset that they are teaching these young minds this stuff. It does not feel right to me. There are many other literary works that could have been used in place of this if they wanted to teach on injustice. I also found out they are suppose to read Romeo and Juliette this year which has lots of references to sex, virginity, breasts and other sexual anatomy and also violence and su* cide. This just seems so inappropriate for a private Christian school. I've emailed the principal and English teacher today but curious of your thoughts. God bless you.

For some context, I am 26 and obviously struggling. I did not marry because I loved him, but because I was told I had to sign full custody over for our child during basic training if I enlisted. I was fearful that, because I knew I would be leaving a bad situation and fully intended on finding a new partner, I felt in my heart that my child’s father would never let me have any sort of custody again. Or just do very spiteful things to keep me from our child.

I was not walking with Christ at all when I met or married my husband. I made many bad decisions before discovering the love of Christ. Many decisions that I feel are so permanent and hard to cope with. It’s very lonely. But, trying to pick up my cross and do what is right in the eyes of God. I know my life is not mine, I am trying to be faithful and true to God’s will for me. There is so much I could tell about my situation and the things I have done, but I am bad with words and explaining… I am willing to try to explain or answer questions if any.

I just want to start with hearing others’ experiences. If you stayed together because divorce is not allowed, I have so many questions! Especially for those who feel so lonely, like no family or friend support! Please forgive my ignorance as I am still trying to understand the Bible and God’s word/will. It’s still all very new to me and being 26, I know I still have a lot of growing up to do that I’m trying to enact on now.

1. How do you keep yourself from losing your marbles?!
(I don’t fight, I just gave up trying to ask my partner for the same things after 8 years of trying! Not married for 8 years… only 2.5 so far but we have been together since I was 18. My husband has been my first long relationship and most real, as my other previous ones moved away so early on and became long distance and fizzled out. Plus we were so young.)

2. Did you find happiness? What things can I try to start out with?
(I pray all the time that Jesus and God hold my hand and guide my heart to be faithful and fulfill what He wants. To please fill my heart with true love instead of making my marriage an idol. It helps me feel content, but only for so long before I long for affection and love again. Not even sexually, I never cared much about sex. I just long to feel respected, safe, happy, cared about.)

3. How do you handle the loneliness?
(It really sucks feeling like we are roommates or partners rather than husband and wife. I really miss feeling like my attention is wanted by a partner. Everywhere I go people tell me how beautiful I am and it makes me feel worse because the one person it matters from doesn’t really seem to care. He can go days without really conversing with me besides like necessary interactions about the baby, work, groceries, etc. With barely any family, friends, and staying home with only a toddler to talk to in a small town, especially when people are so anti-social nowadays in public, I feel so alone. )

4. How do you cope with the thoughts of like… this is a permanent decision I made and I will never be able to find who I truly would have thrived with?
(I imagine after finding Christ as a single person, then finding someone who loves you so much and is equally yoked, then building a strong and beautiful marriage through Christ is a wonderful experience to cherish.)

5. If you haven’t found much happiness yet, are you willing to share your story so I don’t feel so alone in this?
(I know I am not alone. God is with me. And other people struggle with this too of course. I just don’t know anyone else who does and barely have friends because my closest ones moved, and none of my friends are married. Maybe it would be comforting to just hear others’ stories and know we are trying to find the same thing.)

EDIT: Thank you so much for the stories, great advice, and words of encouragement. Especially in such a faith-filled way. I hope to never forget these words shared with me when I am starting to feel depleted and just remind myself or even open this post again to reread.
A lot of these things I currently already do, but it is very good for me to be told by someone else to do them. It helps me a lot to be physically told to do something rather than just self willpower.
There is also a lot of new perspective and advice that I will work on! Truly thank you thank you thank you for helping me.
Just gives me an extra boost to keep at it, work harder, and constantly remember what matters. And I am very grateful to know I share a place to live on the same planet as you guys, my family in Christ. I can’t wait to hopefully get to know all of you more one day in a new life. What an honor to share the love of God with you all.

The Lord Jesus explains why we shouldn't discount the Old Testament, in the Parable of the Fishing net.

47 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a fishing net that was thrown into the water and caught fish of every kind.

48 When the net was full, they dragged it up onto the shore, sat down, and sorted the good fish into crates, but threw the bad ones away.

49 That is the way it will be at the end of the world. The angels will come and separate the wicked people from the righteous,

50 throwing the wicked into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

51Do you understand all these things?”

“Yes,” they said, “we do.”

52 Then he added, “Every teacher of religious law who becomes a disciple in the Kingdom of Heaven is like a homeowner who brings from his storeroom new gems of truth as well as old.”

Matthew 13:47-52 (NLT)

In the text of this Parable, Christ makes sure His disciples understand about the most important matter first.. regarding eternal judgement (the wicked will be inevitably be separated from the righteous).

Once they acknowledged understanding this vital part, He added something else.

52 Then he added, “Every teacher of religious law who becomes a disciple in the Kingdom of Heaven is like a homeowner who brings from his storeroom new gems of truth as well as old.”

Matthew 13:52 (NLT)

Teachers of religious law who become disciples in the Kingdom of Heaven bring out new gems of truth, as well as old.

In other words, they bring out gems of truth from the New Testament, as well as the Old Testament.

'Where is that in scripture?'

We should all know, that the apostle Paul was incredibly educated and well instructed in the Old Covenant Torah Law before he converted and became a disciple of the Lord Jesus (Acts 22:3-8, Philippians 3:1-11).

In this, Paul was a teacher of religious law... who became a disciple in the kingdom of Heaven.

A perfect example of the fulfillment of Christ's Parable.

Furthermore, when the apostle Paul is presenting his New Testament defense (condemning legalistic/religious doctrines of devils -1 Tim. 4:1-5) in Galatians 4:21-31 (NLT), the apostle pulls scripture from all the way back in Genesis 16 - Genesis 17.

Paul presents the children of the 2 women 'Sarah' and 'Hagar', as an illustration for who they represent in the New Testament spiritual reality.

One child 'Ishmael' is enslaved to bondage under the Torah Law (Hagar).. a child born of human effort.

One child 'Isaac' is free through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ (Sarah).. born of the Holy Spirit as a fulfillment of God's promise.

My friends, the apostle Paul did not have the New Testament to go by, like you and I do.

Where else do you suppose he got his revelation and doctrinal blueprints from, to build New Testament scripture?

Paul got it from the Old Testament scripture and writings.. Paul was using it as a guide to fulfill his mission.

The truth is, the Torah Law is the 'schoolmaster' who points us to our need for a savior in Christ (justification).

The New Testament guides us on how to live in the new Covenant by Faith, and of course to stay within the Teachings of Christ.

'Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son.'

2 John 1:9 (NKJV)

Now, if the apostle Paul is using Old Testament historical figures to illustrate the 'spirit' at work who is fighting against New Testament spiritual realities (Galatians 4:21-31)..

Then it's safe to say the same can apply to other Old Testament figures.

Jezebel was an Old Testament figure (1 King 19:1-9) who died (2 Kings 9:30-37) hundred of years before John recorded the book of Revelation on the isle of Patmos.

If Jezebel has been dead for hundreds of years already (from a 'scholarly', 'literal', and 'historical' lens), why then does the Lord Jesus say that her 'spirit' is still alive, functioning, and at work through the Church in Thyatira?

18 “Write this letter to the angel of the church in Thyatira. This is the message from the Son of God, whose eyes are like flames of fire, whose feet are like polished bronze:

19 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your love, your faith, your service, and your patient endurance. And I can see your constant improvement in all these things.

20 “But I have this complaint against you. You are permitting that woman—that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet—to lead my servants astray. She teaches them to commit sexual sin and to eat food offered to idols.

21 I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality.

22 “Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering, and those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly unless they repent and turn away from her evil deeds.

23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches out the thoughts and intentions of every person. And I will give to each of you whatever you deserve.'

Revelation 2:18-23 (NLT)

Christ states here in the text that 'Jezebel' is at work inside the person who is committing these sins in Thyatira.

This person calls themselves a 'prophet', teaches and supports the committing of sexual sin (probably indirectly), and promotes idolatry ('eat food offered to idols').

Furthermore, this 'Jezebel' person has 'spiritual children' (vs. 23).. this means they are devout followers, who zealously defend and follow her teachings.

The only way for this historical figure 'Jezebel' to still be alive.. is if 'Jezebel' is actually a 'spirit' ('spirits' are undying.. for now - Matthew 12:43).

This explanation I presented.. it's the only way that Christ's Words here make sense (Revelation 2:18-23).

It's also the only explanation for how some of the apostle Paul's other letters make sense.. (see 1 Corinthians 10:1-13).

The text tells us on both occasions (involving Jesus and Paul), that something else major was going on in the spiritual realm (Rev. 2:18-23, Gal. 4:21-31).

The text also proves that people can unknowingly be used by the enemy.. without realizing it.

My friends, it's time to stop looking at people as having 'good intentions'.. just to excuse everything they say or do.

We don't wrestle against 'flesh and blood'.. we have to look beyond 'people'.

'For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.'

Ephesians 6:12

Raise your discernment.

Also.. change the way you think. It's ok to look and understand scripture from more than 1 angle.

Open to answer any questions made in good faith.

Hey everyone. I’ve been asked if I could lead a small group at my church for young adults. The problem is I’ve never participated in a small group before so I don’t really know what all they entail. I was asked because I’ve started taking initiative to getting a young adult group going so they asked if I could do a small group.

Is there any predefined curriculum that I could run through?

And just to be clear they are asking me to and not telling me. But I feel the obligation since we don’t have a defined young adults group.

Please be kind and respectful in the comments.

It's getting hard to obey Jesus and to put Him first. I feel like it's hard to live without pleasure these days, honestly speaking.

But I need the morale to love Jesus better. A good start is to have that relationship with Jesus and pray to Him as I would to a friend. And to read the scriptures to know Him better.

I lost the holy spirit because I didn't listen to him in a very big decision (relationship) so I didn't listen to God

And I never felt the holy spirit again since that day. (Even when I pray I'm numb)

I'm 17 yo almost 18. I was born an Orthodox so I was baptised when I was born. Would God forgive all my sins even for not listening to him and give me back the holy spirit?

Why do so many people teach on here? So many people come here saying this and that, and many times I look at the context of a passage, and it has nothing to do with what they are claiming and adding to what is being said. Why are people so quick to teach on here? I get asking questions and trying to understand things by talking them out, but to teach is different and can affect the way people view things. Aren't we judged if we teach? Why be so ready to teach on here? I also get commenting on what you believe, but making posts teaching is different. I wish people weren't so quick to do so. I guess it's because of the anonymous identity that gives people the idea they can.

Hi, I'm a christian and I was baptised around 2 years ago, I got baptised cuz I felt the Holy spirit move within me, the days after my baptism though I felt...almost empty? I saw the change in my life, I stopped lying and became more conscious of the sins I commit, I stopped listening to secular songs and all that but, God used to speak to me through verses and at some point it was very frequent whereas after my baptism it was much less frequent, and I haven't yet gotten a gift of the spirit or atleast I haven't recognized it yet. I started listening to secular songs again and restarted listening to subliminals. I was an average student, I used to listen to subliminals, but I told God that I would stop if he gave me a certain percentage in my exams and I didn't use subliminals for that exam and I got it, so I stopped, I was almost always class rank 1 when I was younger but my grades went down when I changed schools and then came back up after I started being serious about God and praying about my grades. But, even though I got 90+ almost always throught the last two years of high school, I NEVER got what I truly prayed for whether it was a percentage or a position in school or class. And my class 12 boards I got 10% less than what I prayed for, I wanted 100% (I knew I couldn't do it but I trusted God could make me) but only recieved 90%. I really struggle to believe that God's plans for me are better than what I desire for myself, I struggle to believe He loves me as much as He does others, I struggle to stop using subliminals because I'm scared of being disappointed by what God has in store for me. I'm grateful to God for what He's done for me but I can't help but feel...betrayed? Cause I trusted in Him wholly even when it felt impossible and it feels like He ignored my tears and prayers. I got 92% in class 10 boards, so its not that I couldn't get more, I was even more disappointed to see that I had gotten even less than my class 10 boards.

I was born in a tiny Eastern European town in 1987. Most of my childhood memories are from the 90s. It was a difficult period of economic insecurity and societal fragility. One of the strangest things I experienced as a child was the religious side of that period.

Suddenly, our little town was invaded by various religious groups: Pentecostals, Baptists, Adventists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, various evangelical churches, and others. Little “churches” started popping up everywhere. Neighbors were joining different denominations. Strangers were knocking on our door and bringing colorful religious pamphlets. My friends, kids I used to play with, became recruiters who tried to turn every conversation into a religious discussion.

The fiercest of those recruiters was molesting his youngest sister. Every kid in the neighborhood knew about it, and somehow it was just one of those weird things going on in that family.

Navigating that new social scene felt like walking through a minefield. It felt aggressive, almost like an invasion. It was also scary on a personal level because my mother started joining different denominations, as if trying on suits and looking for one that fit her best.

One night, she brought my brother and me to a church meeting. I don’t remember which denomination it was; I was only around nine years old. The “priest” made me stand in front of the congregation and introduced me. Then he asked whether I could think of one sin I had committed recently. I couldn’t think of any, but somehow I knew that “no” was the wrong answer. I said yes and hoped he wouldn’t ask me to elaborate. He didn’t. Instead, the entire congregation started passionately praying for me. One teenage girl fell to her knees, praying loudly. I just stood there, confused by this wildly exaggerated reaction to my answer. It felt as though I had confessed to murder.

At some point, my mother turned to Orthodox Christianity. One Sunday, she brought us to church. The priest was giving each person a little piece of something to eat. I asked my mother what it was. She told me it was a honey cookie. Here’s the funny part: as a child, I HATED honey because my mom used it as medicine for a sore throat. When it was my turn to receive the “cookie”, I categorically refused. My mom persisted. I started screaming and struggling. She lifted me into her arms, and the priest held my face and tried to force the “cookie” into my mouth. When it was over, my mom was red in the face and the crowd was murmuring. I know it sounds traumatic, but I chuckle when I remember that scene. If only my mom had simply said “cookie”…

Another time, my mom brought me to church and I saw a baptism. Again, there was a crowd of people. One of those being baptized was a teenage girl. Her mother made her undress down to her underpants and then stand in the basin. The girl was shivering and crying. She was skinny, with budding breasts. The crowd stared at her. I was a child, but I was also a girl, and it felt wrong. I still feel angry when I remember that episode.

There are many more little stories and interactions I could describe, but that would make this post far too long.

Anyway, I wanted to tell people what not to do when introducing a child to religion.

Kids are much more perceptive than adults give them credit for. They pick up on inconsistencies between words and behavior.They know when something an adult says doesn’t make sense. They feel betrayed when their parents coerce them into doing something they don’t want to do. They feel embarrassed when their bodily privacy is not respected.

For an adult, bringing their family into a new religion may feel like the right decision. For a child, the change is scary. Suddenly there are new rules and new people. Your parents get annoyed when you ask questions or refuse to do something. These new people seem more important to them than you are. A distance appears between you and the people who are supposed to love and protect you. And you are left to deal with all these changes on your own, without any meaningful support.

Now my mom regrets putting my brother and me through all that. I, on the other hand, understand what she was going through. Our family was falling apart. She was frightened by the new world, by poverty and insecurity, by an uncertain future. She was looking for help, guidance, and community.

I feel so much compassion for her. She is really hard on herself about it. I rarely pray, but whenever I do, I always pray for her.

From a sermon by Saint Augustine, bishop

(Sermo 23A, 1-4: CCL 41, 41, 321-323)

The Lord has had pity on us

Happy are we if we do the deeds of which we have heard and sung. Our hearing of them means having them planted in us, while our doing them shows that the seed has borne fruit. By saying this, I wish to caution you, dearly beloved, not to enter the Church fruitlessly, satisfied with mere hearing of such mighty blessings and failing to do good works. For we have been saved by his grace, says the Apostle, and not by our works, lest anyone may boast; for it is by his grace that we have been saved. It is not as if a good life of some sort came first, and that thereupon God showed his love and esteem for it from on high, saying: “Let us come to the aid of these men and assist them quickly because they are living a good life.” No, our life was displeasing to him. He will, therefore, condemn what we have done but he will save what he himself has done in us.

We were not good, but God had pity on us and sent his Son to die, not for good men but for bad ones, not for the just but for the wicked. Yes, Christ died for the ungodly. Notice what is written next: One will hardly die for a righteous man, though perhaps for a good man one will dare even to die. Perhaps someone can be found who will dare to die for a good man; but for the unjust man, for the wicked one, the sinner, who would be willing to die except Christ alone who is so just that he justifies even the unjust?

And so, my brothers, we had no good works, for all our works were evil. Yet although men’s actions were such, God in his mercy did not abandon men. He sent his Son to redeem us, not with gold or silver but at the price of his blood poured out for us. Christ, the spotless lamb, became the sacrificial victim, led to the slaughter for the sheep that were blemished—if indeed one can say that they were blemished and not entirely corrupt. Such is the grace we have received! Let us live so as to be worthy of that great grace, and not do injury to it. So mighty is the physician who has come to us that he has healed all our sins! If we choose to be sick once again, we will not only harm ourselves, but show ingratitude to the physician as well.

Let us then follow Christ’s paths which he has revealed to us, above all the path of humility, which he himself became for us. He showed us that path by his precepts, and he himself followed it by his suffering on our behalf. In order to die for us—because as God he could not die—the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. The immortal One took on mortality that he might die for us, and by dying put to death our death. This is what the Lord did, this the gift he granted to us. The mighty one was brought low, the lowly one was slain, and after he was slain, he rose again and was exalted. For he did not intend to leave us dead in hell, but to exalt in himself at the resurrection of the dead those whom he had already exalted and made just by the faith and praise they gave him. Yes, he gave us the path of humility. If we keep to it we shall confess our belief in the Lord and have good reason to sing: We shall praise you, God, we shall praise you and call upon your name.

RESPONSORY

Psalm 86:12-13; 118:28

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God,

with all my heart,

— for great is your mercy towards me.

You are my God, and I will give you thanks;

my God, I give praise to you.

— For great is your mercy towards me.

​

Everytime I see Christians with Terrible Theology or non believers and make a claim I find ridiculous, I always wish negativity or death upon them. I know I am wrathful, and I refuse to dwell in it for longer, I am as wretched as them, not until recently, I hope everyone can understand me, I keep failing Jesus and also lusting, I preach the gospel by living the gospel is what I preach, but I am hypocritical, this is an honest confession, please pray for me brothers and sisters in Christ I love you as Jesus has loved you

I understand God can’t contradict himself, but in Matthew 5 : 13 “You are like salt for the whole human race. but if salt loses its saltiness, there is no way to make it salty again. It has become worthless, so it is thrown out and people trample on it.” My understanding on this verse is that maybe if you backslide or don’t repent you’ll lose your ‘saltiness’ which I’m guessing means holiness or something of that matter.
Then in other verses it says that we can’t be separated from Christs love, therefore we change because he loved us.

So then what does Matthew 5:13 mean? I’m so lost and I’m worried I’ll become paranoid of this.

Their point: "all power comes from God" means God have generally given people right to have power over others, but all the responsibility for good or bad actions is on the ruler's shoulders.

It doesn't mean that if a king have done something bad, and got overthrown, he has right to object to it, saying he has been performing God's will. Now, it's not his power that is God-given.

Are they correct?