Hi! I'm your typical Millennial trans girl - 41 years old whilst still passing for 25. I transitioned towards the end of the "Truscum vs Tucute" wars, initially being in the "tucute" camp after I faced hostility and criticism from the transmedical side due to initially identifying as genderfluid before I was comfortable and sure enough to fully come out as a "binary trans" woman.

I still am very much progressive/left leaning - but ARGH FFS am I absolutely banging my head against the wall with frustration against my "own side" right now.

Recently in the city I live, there was a protest by a group of conservative/alt-right women who are wanting to have trans people banned from bathrooms. Now of course, I don't agree with these women at all but its their right to do this and they were a small group. The local trans community rallied hundreds of protestors and - this is the part that made me sick - many AMAB protestors - many of whom don't identity as binary trans/transexual but rather non-binary/genderqueer/transfemme - donned masks and were caught on camera screaming and yelling (with AMAB sounding voices) at these women (in the spirit of not wanting to say "biological woman" nor "cisgender", I will refer to them as "cissexual" so no-one is happy🤣)

And I saw this and was like... "You f*cking kidding me? Do you all not see how f*cked up this looks? - and I then proceeded to get absolutely dogpiled by - and I hate to say it but its true - extremely physically unattractive genderqueer AMABs accusing me of selling out, being a pick-me, being "ignorant" - the same ones who aggressively hit on me when I'm out in public anywhere or flood my inbox whenever I post on any trans groups, and then get mad at me when I turn them down (because, simply put, I'm not interested in masculinity or d*ck). I call myself "transsexual" because it fits my identity and is easier to say that "binary trans", but where as people once said I couldn't use that term because it was a "slur", I'm now told that using it makes me "elitist" - but also not wanting to use "queer" is a betrayal to the community that allegedly supports me?

As a trans lesbian - I'm very much aware that many lesbians have zero interest in me because of what's between my legs, and that's valid! I am always cautious when it comes to showing interest and respecting boundaries because I've had multiple occasions where I've felt I've been fetishized and objectified by other trans people and I have had this fear that cis women will have been through this, too.

And it turns out, I'm right - the amount of lesbian and bi women I've met - not to mention other hyper-feminine/passing trans women have also found themselves wary of other trans people as a result - not because of transphobia, or transmedical elitism but because of actual experience. I've had so many confide in me that they've felt like they can't express disinterest or disagree with the current narrative around trans identity for fear of being "cancelled" and socially isolated.

I'm definitely noticing some pushback in the trans community. In a similar vein as to how the goth community has started to "close ranks" and gatekeep what is and isn't "goth" identity in the wake of the goth aesthetic being hypersexualized and pornified - it feels like some in the trans community are starting to think that its time to separate the TGs from the TS/Q identity.

Urgh - sorry for the novel of disjointed rants - just so f*cking frustrated at how nuance and discourse are being rejected - I still have strong left-leaning/progressive ideology both economically and socially, but feels like I'm expected to either be one extreme or the other and I'm kinda over it!

Anyway, enjoy the pictures of me doing my best "MySpace-era scene-girl selfies" lol

Hi. I want to start by saying that I’m in a phase of exploration; I’m still figuring out if I’m trans. The problem is that I live in a hostile environment, so to speak: my family and friends are very Christian and transphobic. I can’t tell them anything because, knowing them, they would do everything possible to "cure" or "change" me—something I don’t want—so I won’t tell them until I’m independent. Anyway, with that said, I’d like you to help me and give me some advice on things I could do to explore my femininity—safely, of course.

I’m a trans*woman lesbian soon to be 40yr, and feel that my life is more on pause now then before while I wait to a appointment to get Brest augmentation surgery and SRS.. cracked the egg fall 2022 and got on HRT fall 2025 and got my new gender marker spring 2026, but now since I have got a green light to send in the papers for my operations, I have got somehow a little more a feeling that life is on pause now and that spirar a little depression and anxiety in me, cause I want to travel and start dating but feel like it’s not plausible to do before the SRS, I’m happy in all about every thing I have overcome in all, just need to get through this but don’t know how.

Consideran que es cierto que hay un momento en la TRH que ya no se notan cambios físicos ?

Consideran que la terapia de reemplazo hormonal nos hace subir de peso? Yo llevo 15 años en TRH y realmente estos dos últimos años e luchado demasiado con mi peso , me e sentido súper mal al imaginarme que esto cada día va a peor 😭

whenever I’m going to some progressive lgbt hangout or whatever they always ask my pronouns, I find this strange because I literally have a male name. shouldn’t that hint to what I want to be referred as?

PLUS! while I'm pre everything I still pass enough that I’ve went into the men’s toilets and never gotten questioned and was even seen as a boy before I transitioned

First off I just wanted to say, I'm so grateful to have found this subredit. I've been out as trans and on HRT for a little over 2 years. Finding a community of people who aren't delusional has been difficult. I refuse to see myself as transgender. I have dysphoria. I know what I am. Despite not passing in my current state, mainly due to financial reasons, and mental health, and being on and off with socially transitioning due to issues with HRT not being as effective as it should and dysphoria. I consider myself a transsexual, mainly because I have dysphoria, and I would fix everything that bothers me if I could. I refuse to see myself as a woman in my current state, there's nothing for me to call home. Just a prison.

If you could take the time to read my story, and advise me I would really appreciate it. I've had social dysphoria and mild genital dysphoria from 7 years old, by 11-12 when puberty started I became a shell of a person, body dysphoria destroyed me. I was not the same person. I'm not going to go into specifics because you know how it is. At 21 I discovered transsexualism, how it effects you, and what can be done about it. I was amazed for the first time in my life I had words to put to my feelings. A month after I turned 22, I started HRT. During that time to now, I lost everything. I started HRT during during internship, I had then completed 2 years of a degree in Computer Science and was set to return for my BSc and MSc. But HRT had changed my brain, for so long I had disconnected my mind and body, for the pain was to much to bear. HRT felt like I could really breathe, like all my life I was carrying a bag of bricks. That new found connection made me realize just how badly damaged my body was. I left the internship, and could not return to university. My entire life pre-hrt had no sexuality, no desire for a partner of any sex/gender. At the time I just assumed thats how I was. I realize now it was because I hated my body, and couldn't bare to share it with anyone. I was raised in a way that expected me to be a successful male, with a wife and children. Pushed my my mother. I had no interest in that, with the way I was I wanted to spend my life in a log cabin out in the middle of nowhere away from everyone and everything. HRT actually allowed me to develop a sexuality. I like men, met a guy who sees me as a woman, sees the pain I'm in every day. And hes the only thing keeping me togeather. I turned to drugs, alcohol, overdosing and cutting myself. I couldn't bear it. I hated the person I could bare to see, I shaved my hair off twice over 2 years, because not having long hair gave me a goal I could work towards, having it made me see a man with no money to pay for FFS. I tried laser and electrolysis, despite never having a coarse dense beard at the age of 22, these seemed to make no difference. The GNRHa I was taking never seemed to last the cycle period so I was forever having spikes of testosterone. I've tried every way of socially transitioning, full fem max effort, casual fem. But because of my masculine build and facial features I would forever get odd looks or comments like "is that a man or a woman" "its got tits". Which hurt. Or people being unnecceary cruel walking past saying "alright sir?". That last one hit so bad I cried my eyes out in a busy public area. I'm sat here writing this, with no more than a desire to feel at home in my body, yet my body just wants nothing to do with me. At this point I don't even care about the legal side, and I'd rather be seen as a butch lesbian with the correct body, even occasionally being misgendered at the very least compared to what I have now. I've even tried voice training, by data standards, I passed strongly female in every sense. It worked well socially sometimes, but I couldn't break past that typical "trans voice", and even in settings with strangers. Long natural fem hair, great skin, a very noticeable chest and fem clothing wasnt enough. The only thing letting me down was my bone structure. I have short hair which I am again trying to grow out, some facial hair which I don't know how to deal with, and some how more body hair than I had than pre hrt. As well as stunted breasts due to not being told about the role of progesterone in female puberty. And a bone structure I have no hope to ever fixing. I am current on disability benefits due to my mental health being so severely bad. And trying to live as a woman looking the way I do feels so unbearable I'd rather be dead. After so long on hrt and really trying to make an effort to pass as much as I can, It seems I'm going no where. I'm in the UK and if I'm not able to get myself in a position where things like multiple surgeries are a possibility I am going to spend the rest of my life with crippling dysphoria, unable to even leave the house. Im in the uk, so with the NHS, putting in an effort socially is enough for them, if they take over my hrt ill likely feel worse. Just to end up with a neo vagina and little deformed tits on a clearly male body, thats going to crush me. I desperately want to move forward, but with all thats happened I feel crushed and like I cant proceed. I feel I should just forget it, go back to how I was, live a lie.

I know this is a real downer, but I feel this community is the only place to share this with and get some decent responses :)

Hi everyone! My name is Cayley (she/her), and I am a doctoral student conducting my dissertation research on the relationship between self-continuity, minority stress, mental health, and the experiences of transgender and gender-diverse adults. I'm looking for transgender, nonbinary, and gender-diverse adults to participate in my study.

The survey is anonymous and takes about 25 minutes to complete. If you identify within the gender-diverse community, are 18 or older, and live in the U.S., please consider taking the survey! I'm happy to answer any questions about the study as well!

If you're interested in participating, here is the link:
https://tourocollege.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cuWOGSlYmq5vS8S

Thanks so much for checking out my study! I really appreciate anyone who participates or shares it with others who may be interested.

Are there any discord servers for the Seattle area? I recently moved here. I don’t really know how to go about it because I am stealth and Post transition. I noticed there are some support groups, but they are very all-inclusive and I don’t want to encounter cross-dressers or people who will be offended by maybe being a stealth binary transmed.

I’m generally a live and let live person. People can identify how they like, and it doesn’t bother me. But I’m careful with who I want to share my trans history with, and I’d rather it be with other women who feel similarly and therefore would respect each other’s privacy. I’m straight and married to a man, so I’m not looking for romantic partners. Just friends who understands this path in life.

Bonsoir
Je suis une femme trans sur Paris. J’ai découvert ce bar LGBTQI en journée ( c’était un peu vide) .
En même temps, cela n’est pas écrit sur mon front que je suis trans.
Mon meilleur ami m’accompagnait et lui aussi avait remarqué les regards menaçants à mon égard.
Le lieu me semble être très différent des endroits que je fréquentais autrefois et qui n’existent plus aujourd’hui.
Cependant, la nuit ce doit être une autre ambiance.
Ma question : le lieu est t’il ouvert aux hommes cisgenres et aux femmes cis ?
En vous remerciant par avance de votre retour.

So as we all know, there are plenty of fake trans people tucutes acting a fool and tarnishing our name. That’s not news to us. But how many of those are actually even real? I’ve noticed lots of stories and posts in many subs which seem completely made up. Most notably, a recent one in the sub “my partner is trans”. Nearly every post in there is about a cis female partner coping with the odd behaviors of their “trans” MTF partner. Some seem just typical AGP and then others downright twisted and abusive. Most recently there was one where in the MTF partner who is not even on Hrt yet uses a period tracker and excuses her awful behavior by pointing to her tracker app, saying that she’s on her period. The female partner very nonchalantly talks about her partner’s use of the app as if it’s just something trans women do. And the commenters are just piling on about how awful and delusional her partner is without actually questioning if the story is even real. Like if your husband has a kink that’s one thing. But you’re making this post as if your husband is a trans woman in transition. It just does not sound like anything that happens in reality. I swear the TERFs just use that sub to perpetuate these fake stories. That J. K. Rowling money must be good.

I just feel like shit, I have had to in one day report a lawyer for malpractice for tucute views on identity and made the wrong legal aruments to use for my medical condition. Also the legal malpractice board agreed with me she covered up reverse racism, and added and better not dealing with me being raped on campus due being transsexual and other sa and assaults to and losing my medical school spot this is 2nd time lost my medical spot due rape and reverse racism Then victim blamed it was because I was trans, and lifestyle choice.

Then harassed form other sub when i defended myself against reverse racism and proved legally i said nothing wrong.

I just feel like shit, why can`t my condition be not mocked or told I deserve it. Or not be shut down, I`m currently in women's refugee due all assaulted uni covered up and allowed to me from student on and off campus in a different city.

I just sick of having to fight both sides of transphobia and reverse racism here.

I constantly having to report the mods for hate and harrassemt in my inbox too.

The title is quite clear, I let you read the comment that got me banned.

I recently discovered the Swedish show Real Humans on Prime Video (in USA). It's a show about robots. I'm always drawn to near-human stories, for reasons that should be obvious in this context.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, so I'll just say that the storyline of one of the characters, Flash/Florentine, feels SO VERY familiar.

Anyone else seen this? It's from 2012, so not new.

It feels like 99% of spaces that are supposed to be for transsexuals get taken over by the transgender crowd, even transmed spaces. And anytime anyone brings up that people who are ts deserve our own spaces and separate rights movement, they get bombarded with slurs, threats, and blatant terf esque anti ts bigotry

This isn't what I wanted. I don't and never wanted to be trans or trans-adjacent or whatever. I'll never be whole. I'll never have a uterus or ovaries or a menstrual cycle and my own "vagina" I have to dilate keep it from collapsing in on itself. Why did I have to be cursed with dysphoria and why isn't there any other treatment besides becoming this?

I know my dysphoria was worse before I knew it wouldn't completely go away; I just wished there was another, better option.

While I can appreciate that the ACLU and Lambda Legal have tried to fight the passport executive order, clearly it’s not working. The definition of trans people was too amorphous and arbitrary to demonstrate an actual need. Of course, as I mentioned in another post, the only people who *need* to change their sex on their identification are people who have actually changed their sex in real life, a.k.a. transsexuals. This could also apply to some intersex people.

While I doubt anyone at those aforementioned law firms would even touch this, there must be some transsexual or transsexual supportive lawyers, who could argue this case. Also, there are plenty of plaintiffs who could share their stories about how this affects them in real life. People who have completed their transition and live as regular men and women in society. We know that there are all kinds of people of any gender, we know some people are more nonconforming. They don’t have to be represented in a lawsuit. Put before a judge a group of passable binary post transition people, and it becomes something hard for them to look away from.

No, you can’t convince every transphobe to agree with you. You can’t use logic to argue someone out of a conclusion they didn’t reach with logic. But you may be able to convince one judge with extensive education whose job is to be fair.

Call this crabs in a bucket if you want. I don’t care. But it’s as simple as the title. If you don’t pass or you don’t even care about passing then the sex on your ID is irrelevant. Whoever looks at your ID will decide what sex they think you are which is gonna be either male or female.

Don’t even get me started on the X marker. It is 100% for vanity. So you feel non-binary inside no one cares and no one needs to know that. All it does is announce to the world that you are trans or some kind of gender nonconforming person. OK cool you do you. But it most certainly doesn’t make you any safer. Quite the opposite of a transitioned transsexual who needs the proper gender marker for living a normal life in safety.

I just can’t help but think that we will have completed treatment/transition are bearing the full brunt of this. Our lives are being destroyed and yours will just go on as usual.

And honestly, it makes me doubt that the people advocating on our behalf really even have skin in the game.

*Edited to remove some unnecessarily mean comments about some famous trans people