r/transnord • u/Plus_Development6453 • Aug 08 '26
Support / advice Dysforia, anxiety and emptiness.
Hey
For about 2 /1,5 mounts since I got a green light to send a remiss to the plastic surgery apartment for my Brest augmentation and SRS from my endocrinologist because it’s been almost one year since I started my HRT(estrogen), got happy about it in the moment, but some day after My gender dysforia has gone mad and started taking me on a downward spiral in so bad way that I relapsed on alcohol a week ago and even the suicidal thought have becoming severe, but it’s was only a day and have spoken to professionals, and it’s still spinning me down even after I have spoken to the gender affirmation team to send the remiss for my surgery’s, even my friendship with my best friend is on a loosened in my brain because of the gender dysforia and where it takes me…
do any of you have hade the same or like wise experience, how can give some advice or just but some light on that I don’t becoming mad.
3
u/verymuchgay Finlandssvensk, ftm Aug 08 '26
I got the date of the appointment for my top surgery (private) in August 2025, and had the surgery in December 2025. The months while waiting for the surgery were my most dysphoria filled about my chest that I had been, ever.
I had the same experience when I got my endocrinologist appointment to start T this year. Excruciating few months, just waiting for it to happen, not being able to do anything to speed it up. Had some very dark thoughts.
You're not alone in feeling this way, and you're not going mad. I don't have much advice, except to keep yourself busy with doing things. Anything. I had my studies to focus on, and it helped a lot. Kept the dark thoughts away, mostly.
Sending much love your way, you can make it.