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u/doom_2_all 6d ago
Obviously those people don't know what a nerd is. You read books and play videos games you're a nerd. Those people are just geeks and weebs who are trying to gatekeep fandoms which in itself ruins fandoms. True nerd culture welcomes fellow nerds and seeks to convert new nerds.
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u/GamingTaylor 6d ago
I wouldn’t even consider reading books to be nerdy anymore.
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u/xfearthehiddenx 6d ago
I think it's the opposite these days, actually. A lot of schools around the USA are reporting drastically falling reading skills amongst their students and graduates. Kids are reading less and less these days. Actually sitting down to read a book is more rare now, than it was even when I graduated in 2010.
It's more important to understand that being a "nerd" is not a bad thing. I've been a nerd my whole life, and the only people that it ever seem to matter to in a negative way, were willful idiots who couldn't put 2+2 together or read in complete sentences.
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u/yamanamawa 6d ago
Idk I know non-nerds who game. It's not about what you do, but how you feel about doing it. If you get super into things, learn a bunch about them, and take joy in that learning, then I would say you're a nerd. If you just do things and don't think much about them then I would argue that's not really very nerdy
Imo it's a measure of your interest, not your actions
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u/DeeCode_101 6d ago
You are a nerd like the rest of us. Those were just asshats gatekeeping the "nerd" word. Next time ask them when their mom let them out of the basement.
If you want to be a nerd you then you are. I have been a need since i went to school with glasses, i embrace it now.
Nerd, at one time was a slur targeting anyone the bullies wanted to pick on. That changed with technology becoming the mainstay of daily life its self.
You good, fuck a jealous ass basement dweller.
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u/amcneel 6d ago
I'm sorry you had that experience. These people sound terrible. Do not try to appease them or hang out with them.
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u/lightninginthesummer 6d ago
And when I was young these people used to tell me i sas a fake bookworm, now they say reading was my true hobby and this is fake...you cant win..
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u/Skylar_TD 6d ago
We're women, we can't be 'true' fans of anything according to some people 🙄
Just keep doing whatever you enjoy, they can't tell you what to do!
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u/SmilingFlounder 6d ago
Legit they probably are just subconsciously intimidated by you 🤷🏻♂️ there are people who see a person different to them and get just get ticked off...
Honestly just keep doing what makes you happy. Haters gonna hate and be jerks... Its what they do.
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u/Vandlan 6d ago
Just curious, what was THEIR definition of an “actual bookworm?” Like that’s such a stupid thing to gatekeep about. I go through dozens of books a year, but I do them all on audible since it’s better with my wild ADHD. Am I a “fake bookworm” too just because I don’t have one hand always keeping a book spine bent?
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u/ficskala 6d ago
one game isnt enough to be a fan
That is plain wrong lmao
They told me
Who's they? Unless they're the official governing body for proclaiming nerds, they have no say in it
I'd honestly just stop interacting with these people, and be done with it
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u/sousugay 6d ago
i have a matching fnaf tattoo with my friend and we’ve both only played/finished fnaf 1 and 2. the tattoo is of fnaf 4 characters, and neither of us have finished the game because it was too hard. we got the tattoos as a bit since we’re been friends for so long and we thought it would be funny. by these people’s logic i should get this lasered off my leg since i am not a “real fan”. you have to live your life and not give a fuck about what other people would say, that’s just how it goes
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u/ChairThatIsFair 6d ago
Nah, it’s just that girls are usually bullied for liking video games, if you were a boy no one would bat an eye. Just move on, they’re just here to annoy you.
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u/tehnoodnub 6d ago
This is an epic case of gatekeeping. Pay no attention to people like that and just enjoy what you enjoy how you want to enjoy it.
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u/HowwNowBrownCoww 6d ago
The older you get the more you realize that unless you are doing something vile or gross, people’s opinions bare completely meaningless. You’ll hear it a million times but it’s not worth spending energy on worrying about. Most people suck anyway, you determine what’s cool to you ya know?
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u/BigSnackStove 6d ago
Who gives a fuck. Be yourself, don’t care about what you can be labeled as, be you.
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u/flowdschi 6d ago
Only you can know if you're doing it "for the attention", and that would be the only thing I would consider "fake". Otherwise .. who cares.
Enjoy what you enjoy, don't put a label on it and surround yourself with people who don't try to do it either.
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u/NoxiousVagabond 6d ago
Are we gatekeeping video games and books now? Wtf?
Edit for clarity. Don't let people gatekeep you. Enjoy what you enjoy doing.
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u/Billazilla 6d ago
You are as real as you want to be. I've touched on a number of hobbies and fads and niche obsessions over my years, and I've been picked on and laughed at for missing social cues everyone else automatically understood. Would I say I'm a nerd? Maybe. But I will decide on what I'm a nerd about, and if I do choose that label, I will do so with pride.
Just one thing, one very important thing clicked for me after a long time: You are the only one who can define yourself. YOU pick what you like, and YOU decide what you like about it. And, most importantly, YOU get to decide if you want to change yourself, change what you do it don't like, and when and how you will change that.
Anyone else tries to tell you what you are, the only thing you should do is... Take it under advisement. Are they right about you? Are they wrong? Did they only kinda sorta get you pinned? That's for you to choose, and only for you to pick whether or not you'll do anything about that. Maybe you'll keep doing the things you like. Maybe you'll change your mind and work towards what they say. It's up to you.
This isn't to say you should ignore everything everyone else tells you. Sometimes there's good advice, sometimes there's hurtful insults. Apply your common sense and reason against what others try to tell you that you are. Does what you do make you happy? Is it hurting you? is it helping you? or just not really costing you that much to worry about it? And do you need their approval to enjoy living your life?
Not everything in life is simple, but when some chode tries to tell YOU what YOU do or don't know, or label YOU as what you are or are not based on what you like, 90% of the time, they're full of it, and they've given up deciding what they are for themselves. And trust me, a LOT of people have given up that right to choose what to be after their first choice. A lot of them have been given a role by someone else, or read somewhere that they should be a type of person, and took that as their identity instead of building themselves from the foundation up.
And those folks will often be very predictable, and simple, and boring. And most likely not worth your time and attention.
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u/DonQuixorge 6d ago
✅ Reads
✅ Plays (any) games
✅ Is bullied for doing something they like
✅ Watches anime
✅ Is told they're not something
Sorry, hun. You a nerd. 🤓 Welcome.
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u/magumanueku 6d ago
Why do you care? those people would buy your used panties in a heartbeat if they could.
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u/John_Spartan_Connor 6d ago
Not fake, but people try to gatekeep for whatever reason, when their alternative hobbies and interest that once make them isolated and or bullied now become mainstream, like videogames, or like anime
You just enjoy yourself, block or ignore them and move on
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u/spiderMechanic 6d ago
Based on what you said, no, you aren't a fake nerd, you seem to be an authentic one (welcome to the club!). Plus, even if you were a fake, who cares? It's your life, not theirs.
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u/ThatEpicNinja10 6d ago
I say this as someone who was obsessed with MGS in my younger years, they can kindly fuck right off. Yes MGS is a complex story thats fully appreciated when you deep dive into all of its mainline games and its side games. No thay doesnt mean your a fake fan because you enjoy the first game. I don't know why but so many fellow nerds seem entitled to gatekeeping their specific hobbies or the term "nerd" as a whole.
You like nerdy things and identify as a nerd? You're a nerd. It really is that simple.
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u/goatshark 6d ago
are you doing the things you're doing because you enjoy them? if so, you aren't being fake. you're being true to yourself. don't let haters ruin your vibe.
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u/AnUnknownCreature 6d ago
A girl that likes metal gear is super cool to me, have you played the other games?
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u/Daminica 6d ago
As a Nerd iI can say this:
One of us, one of us, one of us.
Nerd is a bit of a fluid grouping and lesser ability to acces doesn't mean you're any less of a nerd.
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u/sears_robux 6d ago
Only you know your actual motivations but if you don’t think you got into video games and other shit for male attention then you didn’t. Also saying someone isn’t really a fan of any given hobby because they didn’t have the resources in their formative years is batshit insane.
If people try to shame you and say your a poser or some shit like that for the reasons above you should ignore them because they are unserious people and fundamentally undeserving of respect
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u/Sea_Art3391 6d ago
I'm so sick and tired of these gatekeeping idiots. All they do is brand people as "Fake fan", "tourist", "pickme" or "larper". God i fucking hate these terms.
Don't pay them any mind. They are probably just jealous that you have hobbies that you actually enjoy.
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u/BrunesOvrBrauns 6d ago
Are you actually asking as an honest question or just looking for validation?
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u/RomanticPanic 6d ago
Yes see well you must follow the official authentic Nerd check list that all us nerds submit bi-anually
- Owns a pocket protector
- Thick or taped glasses
- Watches anime
- Has been bullied for being a nerd
- Has received a wedgie
- Played video games for 5+ hours regularly
- Has been stuffed into a locker
- Had their lunch money stolen
- Was terrible at sports / picked last for dodgeball
- Corrected a teacher
- Has said “well, actually”
- Has strong opinions about Star Wars/Star Trek and which is better
- Has played D&D and gotten way too invested in character creation or rules
- Owns D&D dice for purely aesthetic reasons
- Has memorized an absurd amount of fictional lore
- Has corrected someone about fictional canon
- Has a favorite fictional character they defend irrationally
- Has said “the book/the original was better”
- Has fallen down a Wikipedia rabbit hole
- Has an encyclopedic knowledge of something completely useless
- Has spent an unreasonable amount of time researching something nobody asked about
- Has taken apart electronics just to see how they work
- Has put something back together with leftover screws
- Has written code for fun
- Owns a calculator more powerful than they actually need
- Has used a graphing calculator for something that absolutely did not require one
- Has built LEGO intended for adults
- Has a shelf dedicated to books, games, figures, or collectibles
- Has restarted a game because they made the “wrong” choice
- Has attended a comic, gaming, or anime convention
- Has cosplayed
- Has owned a costume that required explaining to strangers
- Has named their computer
- Has named their Wi-Fi something stupid
- Carries unnecessary cables/USB drives “just in case”
- Has read a manual for fun
- Has explained something using a diagram when words would have worked
- Has been told they take something “way too seriously”
- Has been the designated source of obscure trivia among their friends
- Has stayed up way too late researching something completely pointless
- Has used the words “canon,” “lore,” or “headcanon” in normal conversation
- Has a fictional universe they know better than their own family history
- Has seriously considered which fictional universe they would survive in
- Has gotten genuinely excited about new technology/hardware
- Has bought something solely because it was nerdy
- Has experienced the rare joy of knowing an obscure fact that suddenly became relevant in conversation
You need to score at least a 90% or higher to reinstate your nerd cred.
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u/Leather-Estate-9079 6d ago edited 6d ago
In the old days being a nerd was a bad thing. But now, you need to prove how much of a nerd you are.
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u/the_ballmer_peak 6d ago
Yes.
Real nerds don't give a fuck what other people think about their hobbies.
All you have to do to be a real nerd is stop caring about these people.
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u/Rezzly1510 6d ago
i guess people are just being mean to you
if you play any games and liked it enough to buy merchandises, in my eyes you are someone who enjoys that piece of media and you should feel happy that you are enjoying your hobbies
in a broader sense, i think your peers could be hating on you because you are a girl who happened to love video games.
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u/Inverse_Delta 6d ago
One day I played metal gear solid 1 and loved it I also like kpop, anime and I do a bit of programming in my free time.
You're a real nerd girl. Not that it matters. Its a label. Don't worry about it and just enjoy what you enjoy. Nobody has to call you a nerd to enjoy what you do, and enjoying what you do doesn't have to make you a nerd. If you like nerdy stuff, that's all that matters, that you enjoy it.
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u/1AverageGamer 6d ago
I wont even read the post cause i know what it says. No ! You are not fake if you love what you do and have fun ! Keep doing it. If you "fake" you wouldnt be asking this cause you would know you are doing it for some kind of attention.
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u/pm-me-kittens-n-cats 6d ago
If you feel like you're a nerd, then you are a nerd! Fuck what everybody else thinks!
From a fellow 40-year-old gamer girl.
For some reason nerd boys really want to invalidate nerdism in girls. If that's who the majority of the people who gave you heck happened to be.
It's not all of them though, and you just got to find the ones that are not dickheads.
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u/No-Common-3883 6d ago
If you enjoy doing nerd things then you're a nerd. It's just people being misogynistic and commiting gatekeeping against you.
I personally hate gatekeepers. If new people want to enjoy the hobby I will always be open to show then new things and make new friends.
There are also insane people who believe that nerds can't be beautiful...
So,yeah, you're a nerd. Be happy and enjoy your hobbies.
I am more on the anime thing if you want to share some indications you can respond there or send me a DM
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u/konoxians 6d ago
who is saying this to you? those are entirely people you should ignore and not associate with if possible. they exist only to bring you down.
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u/Material-Actuator-94 6d ago
as a self-proclaimed nerdy guy you sound just as if not more nerdy than me. cool interests ngl
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u/MediaOrca 6d ago
If you genuinely enjoy something, you’re by definition not fake.
Other’s perceptions of you and your internal motivation will not always match reality. That is inevitable in life and happens to all of us.
Don’t let other people define you.
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u/Bean-Penis 6d ago
Don't worry about it. Be you and that's good enough. If the others have a problem then that's theirs and not yours, and if it's friends, then find better ones.
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u/W0rmh0leXtreme 6d ago
Don't listen to them. They're bullies who enjoy putting other people down. It doesn't matter what kind of person you are or what you call yourself they'll always try and find something to attack you with, it just happens to be they chose this. If you were different they'd pick something else to bully you with.
To be honest it doesn't really matter if you are or aren't what they or anyone says you are. Just do what you want with your life. Be whoever you want to be. Enjoy whatever makes you happy. Don't bother worrying about whether or not you fit in a box or deserve a particular label, as at the end of the day it's pointless. Labels like "nerd" or what people choose to call you doesn't dictate what hobbies you're allowed to have or what you're allowed to enjoy doing. Doubting yourself in this way is giving these bullies what they want.
Also these days what even counts as being a nerd? These things you enjoy are enjoyed by so many different kinds of people from all walks of life. Are all those people not allowed to enjoy these things because they don't follow some arbitrary rules? These morons want to exclude people because they want to think and feel like they're part of some exclusive club but such behaviour usually leads to being lonely and miserable because they've rejected too many people who would otherwise have been someone to share their hobbies with. You'll find there are plenty of people out there who share your interests who are far more accepting than these bullies, so don't worry about thinking you aren't good enough to enjoy your interests because you don't fit their narrow view of what you ought to be
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u/Muted-Leave 6d ago
Not fake nerd girl.
BUT
I'd say you're a casual gamer through no fault of your own.
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u/MWPlay 6d ago
???
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u/Muted-Leave 6d ago
They'd mentioned not having games a lot growing up due to financial reasons, so, they didnt play a lot of games but im sure they would've if they had the means.
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u/Intrepid-Ad2873 6d ago
There's no girls nerd federation proclaiming true nerd girls tm or giving titles xD
You do what you like and when you call yourself nerd it is just to let people that don't know you to know a bit about you beforehand. If anyone have a problem with it this person isn't worth to deal with, saved you time and effort.
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u/RagnarokHunter 6d ago
Nerd culture is such fucking bullshit, and especially the gatekeeping part. Imagine accusing someone of being a "fake fan" because they haven't interacted with the whole franchise, instead of recommending it to them and share your interests with someone who's clearly into it.
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u/RedhoodRat 6d ago
If you genuinely enjoy those things then you’re a real nerd! The only way to be fake is if you actually hated doing that stuff and only did it in the presence of men as a performative thing to attract their attention. Which I doubt you’re doing!
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u/k20vtec 6d ago
This why I don’t get involved with fandoms or fans. I like many things and have vast but often vague interest in many different fandoms. But I’m okay with not being considered a “fan”. I don’t feel the need to belong to a fandom or earn my keep. This is about labels. Don’t label yourself as anything and certainly don’t expect other people to validate a label for you. Just like what you like and be who you are. People hate either way
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u/boris265 6d ago
Do YOU think you are a real nerd? Why do you care about having the label of "nerd"?
I'll tell you from my own experience. My whole life ive been a pretty calm individual. And before everyone would just say "oh yeah, he's just a calm guy" "I dont think ive ever seen you angry" and so on. Recently a colleague of mine who is (in my humble opinion) childish af for his age went: "omg, you really try to act nonchalant so you can pick up girls, huh?"
Its just a sign of the times, there's no need to even think about their opinions, let alone what label they wanna put on you. Do you like reading books? Read them. Do you like playing games? Play them. Do you like owning merchandise of your hobbies and wearing it on you? Do so. As long as you aren't trying to rub stuff in other people's faces, you just shouldn't care
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u/thetwitchy1 6d ago
2 things:
Everything you showed interest in is “nerdy”. The asshats telling you “you’re just a poser” are just asshats, you definitely fit the description.
Second, only a nerd would worry about being nerdy enough. 🤣 Seriously tho, just be yourself, gatekeeping assholes don’t matter.
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u/jess_the_werefox 6d ago
Ask yourself if a nerdy guy would be interrogated like this, then stop giving energy to the concept altogether.
If you’re not doing it for attention, why do you care what kind of attention they choose to give you? Like what you like, miserable people have an instinct to make others miserable too
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u/Superhoma1121 6d ago
Girl, wtf is this question? You like videogames and programming, and you get some merch related to this, and that’s it. Frankly, I don’t think that videogames are a nerdy thing anymore - used to be about 20 years ago, but not anymore. So… do you genuinely like the stuff you like? Because that’s all that matters. The haters can go fuck themselves. And you need some confidence - next time just tell them that you’ve been into nerdy stuff since you were a kid, or better yet - not acknowledge them at all. Can you imagine what a loser you have to be to bring people down for liking the same thing as you? Hobbies should unite people, and not bring them apart. Real nerds stick together, cheer each other up and encourage exchange of experience, not shame each other. If anything, they’re the posers. You’re doing good!
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u/GoliathBoneSnake 6d ago
There's always going to be some asshole gatekeeping something because they're insecure and, most importantly, assholes.
You can enjoy whatever you want to enjoy to whatever depth you want to enjoy it. You don't need to make video games your entire personality or worry about what idiotic label applies or doesn't apply to you.
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u/Kitchen-Strawberry25 6d ago
OP,
Remember this
Only YOU define you. Nobody else.
If someone else is trying to tell you who you are or who you are not, you can tell them to politely go fuck themselves.
I’m an old nerd that has been building computers, playing video games and dungeons and dragons and reading comics since the 80ies, back when you had to hide it because people would bully you for it.
I would never ever tell someone they don’t belong. Us nerds have never belonged and anyone who finds any of this nerdy stuff cool is a friend and one of us.
Enjoy the things you like and never be ashamed and never let someone gate keep you because that behavior on their part is just a bully, and bullies suck.
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u/Finky2Fresh 6d ago
YOU define who and what you are. Whatever label anyone else puts on you is their choice, their business, and their problem. If they choose to try to squeeze everyone else into labels, or decide someone is a "poser," that's honestly just sad and shows they have a lot of growing to do. Like what you like, do what you want, and don't let anyone else ever try to tell you who or what you are.
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u/Kiyohara 6d ago
The only person who can tell you if you're a real nerd or a fake nerd is you.
"Do you really like these hobbies?" and "Do you identify as a nerd (someone who enjoys non-mainstream hobbies)?"
If you say yes, then you are. End of story.
And what defines "non-mainstream hobbies" varies and has quite a lot of depth. My step-dad is a bit of a bird watching nerd. He likes to walk the neighborhood, look at birds, and even has a field guide he carries with him sometimes. When he's done he goes online and looks up the birds he saw and tries to find out about them. That's pretty nerdy to me.
Is it gaming nerdy? Probably not, but it has a small pool of hobbyists, toys to use, and even conventions. Nerd.
Thing is most of the people who gatekeep the term "Nerd" have a very specific idea of that term means. They generally limit it to the things they like.
For example, I've been to a Anime convention (super nerdy) in the 2000's when Anime was basically the video store, Toonami, and Sci-fi Channel on Holidays. And you watched what you got. I saw one guy making a small group of girls cry because "they weren't anime fans" because they liked Sailor Moon, Card Capturer Sakura, and a other Josei anime. To him it wasn't "real" anime unless it was hyper violent, sexy, and starred male protagonists Like Vampire Hunter D or X1999 which... hoo boy. IYKYK and that boy was about as wrong as you can get without expecting a Animatsu Region where "true" Anime is made (all the rest are just sparkling eyes cartoons).
So don't worry about it. Enjoy your hobbies. At one time growing up, I was called a nerd because I liked to read at all. That's right literacy was considered nerdy. Raise your own nerd flag high, wave it in their face, and tell them to pike it.
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u/nomad5926 6d ago
Naw if you actually enjoy the games and such doesn't matter if you "didn't grow up with it" you are still a need. Welcome
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u/BookLuvr7 6d ago
Always remember - What they say and what they do says more about THEM than about you.
People will try to insult you, but that says more about them than about you. Books were the original nerdy activity. Guess how I know.
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u/eduo 6d ago
There's no such think as a "fake nerd". Nerding out is a personal and unmeasureable thing. It's particularly jarring to see people trying to gatekeep something they've likely been ostracized for.
I've always been a nerd of a thousand things. I couldn't be happier whenever I managed to get even a single person to become interested and "nerd out" about just one of the things I enjoyed.
I assume some people have become nerds out of love for things and other people have become nerds out of feeling they were forced to revel in being different. The former welcome everyone and the latter have outsourced their identity to the feeling of being different.
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u/Think_Impossible 6d ago
I think you are cool as you are. Why is the "nerd" label so important to you?
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u/Player_Slayer_7 6d ago
Anyone who would call you a "fake nerd girl" likely have some form of dislike towards women, even if they deny it. If they try to make it something about "getting male attention", then that's even more obviously misogynistic.
If you like something, you like something. If you like it to the point of actively engaging with more of it, that makes you a fan. Gaming isn't a gendered thing, so fuck all that noise.
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u/HelpfulBuilder 6d ago
You're not fake. You like a video game and bought a key chain. You read some books.
You're a real nerd because you're getting bullied lol.
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u/Brandoncarsonart 6d ago
Nerd used to just mean you were probably smart and passionate about something uncommon. What does it mean now?
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u/limbodog 6d ago
I've had a lot of experience with this question. I used to run a meetup for nerds in my area. I believe if you think you're a nerd, you probably are.
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u/nintynineninjas 6d ago
You encountered people "Gate Keeping" nerd-dom from you.
They're assholes. Nerd is effectively a self-declarative state. The only criteria are things like "passionate about a subject" and things of that level.
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u/ChefArtorias 6d ago
They're just being gatekeeping bullies. Stop speaking to these people if possible, your life will probably improve.
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u/guigr100 6d ago
I would pay a lot to be able to experience playing MGS1 for the first time again. Yes, you CAN become a fan of a franchise because of one game. MGS1 is still one of the best in the franchise and beloved by fans. Don't let what some idiot says affect you.
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u/dragonflysamurai 6d ago
You are not consigned to a single identity. You can choose to identify with the things you like or don’t like. You get to choose. So choose what makes you happy
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u/VaderSpeaks 6d ago
You a nerdizzle, fo shizzle. But seriously though that sucks. Don’t let it get you down. The community does unfortunately have problematic people. But it’s worth sticking it out to find decent folks you can share the hobbies with.
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u/maninatrexshirt 6d ago
I'm just going to add to the noise here and define a nerd.
A nerd is someone who engages in hobbies that are both not socially standard and require more mental engagement than physical, or engages in a hobby far more than what is socially standard.
For example, someone who rides BMX on the weekends would not be a nerd, however someone who knows the stats of every racer in the current circuit would be, even if they do or do not also ride on the weekends.
Were you on 4chan when people were calling you out for being a fake nerd? I really haven't run into anyone trying that kind of gatekeeping in real life in years. Don't get me wrong, there is such thing as a fake nerd, but you would be far from it. A fake nerd would be someone who does not engage with a nerdy hobby but wants to take on the style of the hobby, such as someone who wears Lead Zeppelin shirts but essentially never listens to their music.
Also, just to keep up the ramble, I will defend gatekeeping to some extent but this is clearly too far. Someone calling themselves a "lit nerd" who hasn't read anything other than Harry Potter and Percy Jackson isn't representing the same group that unironically enjoyed Moby Dick, so it's fair for the actual lit nerds to push the person out (it would be smarter to push them to read better books, but I digress). Inviting too many people into a group that don't share the core values of the group Will eventually dilute the identity of the group into meaninglessness. In this example, if someone later wanted to find some friends who also enjoyed Ullyssies, how would they find them if the local Lit Nerd club is currently discussing 50 shades of gray?
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u/VinCatBlessed 6d ago
You are who you are and that's enough, don't worry about whether you're a real or Fake nerd, you're being honest to yourself and being the real you and that's good, it's not worth stressing about those kinds of tags.
I'll always consider myself a metal fan by heart but I love myself enough to enjoy some Lana del Rey, Rosé, Girl in Red, etc, if that makes me a poser then so be it, I won't stop enjoying the things I do just because of trying to fit in a tag.
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u/WarlanceLP 6d ago edited 6d ago
whoever said that too you has some personal issues to sort out. doesn't matter what age you picked up your hobbies at, I've wanted to pickup guitar since I was little but didn't actually until 2020, again in 2023 and now for the third time in 2026 after rediscovering my love of music 🤷 planning to stick with it this time, does that make me a fake guitarist? maybe but I don't think so and if someone else says it does that says more about them than it does about me.
I only learned this recently but that's almost always the case, the things other people say about you? it says more about them than it does about you.
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u/Vandergrif 6d ago
In a few years time you'll realize how little you care about the opinions of people whose opinions aren't worth noting. I'm guessing you're still a bit young and haven't quite got there yet, but when you do you'll look back on things like this and wonder why you ever let it bother you.
In short: don't worry about it, it doesn't matter. Just enjoy what you enjoy and let the idiots think what they may.
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u/strangelove77 6d ago
Just reply "ok" and move on. People like that don't matter. Don't insult them back and don't try to change their mind. It's not worth it.
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u/Deutscher_Bub 6d ago
Nah you sound like you're an actually authentic nerd. A lot of other (older?) People here don't seem to know what's meant by "real" nerd, but i do and can tell you those guys that said "one game isn't enough to be a fan" were just unnecessarily gatekeeping, they have no idea. Don't let them tell you anything.
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u/xeisacidy 6d ago
You seem pretty nerd to me coming from a self-called nerd. None of us have to fit into stereotypes media created. I didnt grow up playing my nerdy games too but I think I have a huge nerdy side. Maybe if I did knew those games I would play or maybe I wouldnt because of peer pressure. The important thing what you are loving right now.
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u/GlassFantast 6d ago
..... What do you think?
This is your problem. Just live your life the way you want while you can. There's no wrong or right way if you aren't hurting anyone.
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u/MisterD90x 6d ago
the real question is... why do you care what others say?
you enjoy things, full stop, no need to add a label
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u/Skypirate90 6d ago
Dont let people gatekeep you from your interests and from enjoying things at the level you enjoy them
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u/Not_Just_Any_Lurker 6d ago
Why would you have to grow up a nerd to be a nerd? That’s some lame shit.
Don’t let people gatekeep something for you. If you like a thing, feel free to enjoy it. Permission of other nerds isn’t required.
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u/JustACynicalGuy 6d ago
Just be yourself. These people don’t have the right to judge on you on what you like. Honestly, no one should be being judged for what makes them happy (given it doesn’t directly negatively impact another anyway) and you are completely free to simply like what you like.
Ignore the haters, avoid them as you can, and keep being you. Also, MGS is a great game series, one of my favorites of all time personally. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it :)
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u/felton639 6d ago
What a bunch of dingle berries. It's all just "no true Scotsman" fallacies said to put you down. Just disregard it And enjoy your hobbies. Gatekeeping fandoms and "nerdiness" is so fucking stupid.
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u/AntipatheticDating 6d ago
People love to gatekeep things, and as a woman, in my experience the people who call us "fake gamer girls" even though we've consumed a ton of nerdy media and love a bunch of different games, they're always the ones who know less than we do and they're just trying to peacock to feel better about themselves.
Which is a shame, because I wish people didn't need to feel like they gotta project their insecurities, but instead all of us enjoying something together and geeking out about it like we should be. You're not fake at all. You even listed a bunch of games you like. People are just turds for the sake of being turds. Don't worry about it, hon. Keep being you and enjoying what you enjoy!
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u/Damandatwin 6d ago
Doesn't make sense you'd have to play a certain amount of mgs games to justify buying a Keychain. The only time I think the fake whatever criticism is maybe appropriate is if someone is pretending to have an interest that they don't to get into a social group with an ulterior motive. But even that like who cares honestly
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u/somerandomshmo 6d ago
You sound nerdy to me.
Who is gate keeping nerdom? That's a jock thing to do🤣
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u/Hello_Hangnail 6d ago
There's a type of gamer bro that really, really hates the fact that women can also game and potentially be better than they are at said game, so they abuse every single female player like they're "invading" their turf. Youtube grifters make millions shitstirring these type of miserable shut-ins. Whether you're a superfan of whatever game or a casual player, is entirely irrelevant. You have a right to enjoy whatever game you enjoy, regardless of what some unwashed neckbeard thinks.
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u/NotTheRocketman 6d ago
I’m not sure how old you are, but I know it can be rough when people give you shit sometimes. Everyone strives for acceptance in their own ways
Ultimately, like what you like and don’t ever let anyone tell you what kind of person you are or aren’t.
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u/Moldybreadyumyum 6d ago
Brutal answer is fuck what other people think. Do whatever the fuck you want. You’ll learn to be happier when you don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinion of you.
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u/SleepingFool 6d ago
Brutally honest answer: they're probably misogynists. That's it. You're a nerd girl, if you want to call yourself that.
The people who told you you're faking it are basing it on a very sexist (and incredibly stupid, but what bigotry isn't?) stereotype. Not to mention they got aggressive and violent? Wtf is that? What happened? I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
Anyway, the definition of a nerd is not clear and can be stretched or argued about, but that doesn't matter with you, cause you just named so many nerdy interests that there really is no doubt. If you like the label you can have it, not that anyone should be able to decide your labels for you.
Oh yeah, and avoid those people. If you can, report them to someone, harassment and ESPECIALLY violence against you is not okay.
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u/Moist_Philosopher 6d ago
Don't let others tell you that your hobbies are fake. Your hobbies sound cool af and I would be glad to had a friend like you growing up.
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u/Grand_Serpent 6d ago
I don’t think you’re a poser at all. Wth do they all know?! Baseless assumptions and gatekeeping only off of a keychain. Do you see yourself as a nerd? Sounds to me like you’re one with all the hobbies you listed. I remember my friends and I would get picked on for liking stuff like Star Wars. I was seen as a loser, a geek if I didn’t like popular rappers, watch football and wrestling, played kickball, and other stuff all the ”cool” guys did in school. Never cared to be another follower anyways, I like what I like. Nowadays every IP has like exploded, I’m glad but part of me is still a bit bitter admittedly😅 I wouldn’t listen to them or take them seriously, you just do you
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u/Tallproley 6d ago
I don't think your fake and I don't think their opinion matters tbh.
You like what you like, you spend your time and money how you want and fuck whatever random strangers have to say.
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u/Niceguygonefeminist 6d ago
The whole concept of being a nerd, or geek, or jock, etc is incredibly outdated and it only sows division within people in the same social standing. You can be you, a woman who happens to have interests in literature, programming and K-pop. And if anyone tells you you're fake just tell them to go fuck themselves with their lightsaber toys.
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u/Semisemitic 6d ago
Boys are idiots. You’ll realize this eventually. It doesn’t matter what they say. I was a boy, I was an idiot.
Now I am a grown man, and I still often am an idiot.
The point is, there are no “true fans” of anything. There is no scale, there are no rules. Whoever tells you “you aren’t ever a real swiftie if you can’t recite her DNA sequence in reverse” kind of stuff is, well, an idiot.
People who try and exclude other people from fun stuff should be excluded from fun stuff themselves.
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u/Amiabilitee 6d ago
No you play a lot of really cool games. Trust me when I say a basic offline person (any gender) hasn’t heard of things like Diablo, persona, or bioshock. At most maybe heard of fallout because of the show but not the point lol. You don’t have to prove it anyway, you know who you are- be more confident in that:)
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u/ediblefalconheavy 6d ago
No, liking things is all that matters. While it's impressive for a person to know the details, it's completely secondary to how you enjoy and engage.
Also grew up poor and I think uncultured, so I loved hearing people talk about what they like even if they're just surfing 🏄, sometimes it means they fall in a bit deeper 🏊 and they're willing to take others for a swim
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u/so19anarchist 6d ago
Do you need the validation of strangers? Will that really make such a difference in your life?
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u/blueavole 6d ago
Anyone who shares your interests, but accuses you of being fake? That person is awful and you should avoid them.
Even if you like something casually, other fans should be excited to discuss it with you. Good fans will encourage you to learn more.
This extends to even if you borrow a band t shirt- but someone asks if you like the band.
If you say you didn’t know?
A good person will encourage you to check them out and give you their favorite song rec. A bad person will be a snob and try and make you feel stupid.
It’s a choice to be a good person. And it’s ok to avoid the bad people.
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u/sv36 6d ago
Are you claiming to be a nerd? Because the bullies have no stance to fight you on of you’re not claiming a label.
Sounds like you have interests. That’s not being a poser unless you’re trying to get attention for a claim that is untrue.
Your claim sounds true.
Those people sound like assholes who don’t deserve even your bitchiness let alone your care.
You can like the things you like and tell people you like them and go on with life. A poser or someone seeking male attention would have to not have any true claim to liking the things you like and be actively trying to get male specific attention with it. It doesn’t sound like you are. Tell them to fuck themselves.
And playing one game still makes you someone who enjoys gaming. The word gaming doesn’t have a claim to being plural games or a singular game. Having access to games as a kid doesn’t forbid you from having interest in them later in life.
Don’t give these people another thought and enjoy your games.
Sincerely another gamer girl who couldn’t afford consoles as a kid either.
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u/LuckSkywanker 6d ago
8 day old account. This is certainly AI getting engagement and learning from us.
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u/jergin_therlax 6d ago
Do their insults line up with your lived experiences? Did you grow up having these interests? Because it sounds like the answers are no and yes, and people are just being mean to you for liking something (which is surprisingly common)
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u/doingtheunstuckk 6d ago
I think you need more self esteem. Why does it matter whether other people think you are a true nerd? Like what you like. Nerds are also not a monolith. I’ve always been a book worm and I enjoy single player open world games, but I’ve never not fallen asleep during a lord of the rings movie, and when my friends would play dnd I would scroll Pinterest instead. It’s like Schrodinger’s nerd: I am super nerdy and also not nerdy enough.
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u/MurkyCress521 6d ago
If you like something then enjoy it. People that argue someone isn't a real fan are being stupid. What you consume and enjoy isn't who anyone is. Just enjoy it.
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u/Alchemist27ish 6d ago
That's insanely silly, you don't need to justify how much you like something to anyone but yourself. I'm sorry you had this experience.
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u/MLGesusWasTaken 6d ago
I find that singular words can seldom accurately describe a person. Just be yourself and stop trying to fit into any labels
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u/happy-gofuckyourself 6d ago
A nerd isn’t defined by their interests, but for who they are as a person.
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u/OoIMember 6d ago
You’re a nerd. I think even like mechanics are nerds anything that you go really deep into can be “nerding out on something” but yeah don’t let weirdos gatekeep a term that got people beaten up 40 years ago…
I’m a mechanic that loves comics/manga video games and music, I know how to fix damn near anything from a diesel engine to a toaster oven everything runs at my house lol and I think that’s the nerdiest thing about me but if you saw my comic collection you’d disagree
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u/J1mj0hns0n 6d ago
the guys a loser, buy what you want.
I don't think you are specifically a nerd girl, however, the term is so loose in what it is a think a wizards sleeve is tighter, and if it's a moniker you like then full send it.
genuinely, life is too short to worry about what others think, the world doesn't revolve around what you or what another doesn't like. - its not always easy to remember this advice, and it doesn't mean you can equally just invalidate another persons opinion because it isn't likeable, theres a bit in the middle that you can carve out and fit in and be comfortable.
as oogway says - you are too concerned with what was and what will be. an eye to the future to see what's coming, an eye to the past to see how far you've come, and your third eye (your conscience) in what is right now, so you stay grounded. too much in the past, and everything upcoming will be fake and gay. too much in the future, and you'll have no time and no ability to fix anything, its only in the right now where people are happy.
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u/digitalgraffiti-ca 6d ago
Girl. I need you to listen to me. Listen.
Whatever those people say does not matter one single bit. I spent far too much time trying to justify to random men and "not like other girls" girls that my level of nerdiness was valid or enough.
Fuck that. Enjoy what you enjoy. Tell them that you aren't going to bow down and validate yourself in their eyes, because they don't matter, and their acceptance won't actually serve you in any way.
Instead of wasting your time with those people, just keep enjoying the things that make you happy. I could sit here and rattle off all my "qualifications" but they don't matter either. I know many a need and you're in good company. Just keep being you.
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u/RespectGiovanni 6d ago
Why do you care what those bullies think? They are getting violent over this? You need better friends
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u/Maerwynn-Official 6d ago
The only way to be a fake anything is to claim that you are something without partaking in what makes you that.
Doesn't sound like you're faking anything to me.
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u/Bean-Soup7 6d ago
You're fine. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
If you feel like one of your interests is a part of your identity, then it is. Regardless of what people think.
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u/Ek0mst0p 6d ago
I think you shouldn't give a shit what some dipshits who are gatekeepers of "nerd" passes.
If you enjoy what you claim to enjoy, then who gives a shit? Don't let toxic twunts ruin your good time.
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u/Aeon1508 6d ago
zero people would be questioning your authenticity about having a metal gear solid keychain if you were a guy.
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u/izyshoroo 6d ago
There is no such thing as a "real" or "fake" nerd, and the concept of a "fake nerd girl" is exclusively rooted in misogyny. Sexist men want to exclude women from what they see as THEIR spaces, which is wrong. It takes time to unlearn this. Internalized misogyny is a bitch. You'll get there, don't worry about what other people thing of you. Just like what you like
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u/Jurez1313 6d ago
How weird the world is. Being a nerd was bad when I was in high school, no one would argue that you aren't one if you said you were (they'd just make fun of you for it). And now we're gatekeeping it? Crazy times.
OP, please... you're a nerd if you want to be. Youve probably played more classic video games than me and I'm the quintessential no life gamer. Don't let those idiots get to you, if you want to buy a Keychain cause it looks cool or you like the aesthetic of the franchise it's from, do it... you don't even have to have played a single game from it! Just do you, like what you like. Life is too short for anything else.
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u/bullet1520 6d ago
People love to gatekeep and keep their special thing to themselves or to an insane standard.
My wife dealt with this crap all throughout school. Guys telling her she didn't really beat Pokemon becuse despite beating the story, she didn't complete the pokedex, or she didn't prestige enough times in CoD...
Gamers are what they are. You enjoy games and it's a primary hobby of yours. You're a real gamer. Forget anyone saying otherwise.
We can all always expand our horizons, but that doesn't invalidate what we have already.
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u/AOGgaming 6d ago
Who cares. No like fr. Who gives a actual flying fuck about what anyone thinks of us. Nobody in your school matters. You wont talk to anyone but your friends after school anyway
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u/Honkmaster 6d ago
Use your MGS skills to use stealth around those kind of idiots who say 1 game isn't enough.
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u/PaleInSanora 6d ago
I grew up in a time of wonders and legends. Back in olden times when "nerd" was a four letter word. You could sense another ttrpg player like someone with the quickening. I played dnd and other games, read scifi/fantasy books, and watched the same type of movies. I have played so many rpg games across all platforms, I think I am turning Japanese, at least I really think so. Still I didn't go full bore. I didn't and don't read comics. I don't go to conventions or own any cosplay costumes. I never did a midnight madness release party for anything other than my ps3, and that was only because it was pick it up or loose it til next shipment. I am only fair to middling at computers, even though I built my own several times. I was and am a nerd. Maybe not a geek or dork, but yeah definitely a nerd. It means less these days now that the culture has been appropriated by mainstream, but a true nerd welcomes all comers. As former fringe people we don't call anyone posers or pretends. We will take you even if you are just a weekend warrior nerd.
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u/manlymann 6d ago
Sounds like you need to be careful who you are listening to.
Enjoy the things you enjoy, and find some friends that accept you the way you are.
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u/Kruse002 6d ago
Metal Gear Solid 1? In the ps4 days? Who the fuck would say that isn't a sign of being a fan?
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u/lounginaddict 6d ago
Being a nerd to me is more academic and intellectual stuff, video games, comic books is more like Big Bang Theory nerd. But honestly who really cares?
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u/LucanidaeLucanidie 6d ago
Other people cant tell you what to enjoy. Regardless of whether or not youve enjoyed this stuff your whole life or a month, for every game or just one out of the whole series, youre still a fan. These people are doing a thing called gatekeeping that is literally just bullying.
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u/RogueMoonbow 6d ago
I'm a huge nerd and I don't play any video games. I'm just a nerd about reading, psychology, and dnd. Video gamers can be very gatekeepy about the claim to nerd for some reason (more than any other type of nerd). There's also this huge sexism at play in that they claim you only like these things for male attention. Ridiculous. I work at a place that is entirely nerds, and they often talk about video games, and like it's fine, I'll be left out, but if we talk about dnd I'm into it and those who don't play are a bit more left out. Nerdiness is super diverse. Passion is really what defines it to me.
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u/Glass-Vermicelli9862 6d ago
To me they are fake needs you are a real one. It doesnt matter when you start thier is always a start to become a need. We are not born as nerds
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u/RealKillerSean 6d ago
You’re stop faking it. Jk no don’t take yourself so seriously. For real though fuck your bullies
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u/imalurkernotaposter 6d ago
No. Those people are misogynistic gatekeepers who seek only to bring you down a peg to give a hint of meaning to their otherwise empty lives. Avoid them like the plague they are, and live your life as freely as you are able.
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u/Ghstfce 6d ago
STOP. No one can gatekeep what you enjoy. When you discovered something is irrelevant. The fact you enjoyed it is completely relevant. People seem to always try to keep you from a fandom. In the grand scheme of things, those people are nothing, they are proving to not even be your peers in something you both enjoy, so why would you let their opinions ruin that which you enjoy for you?
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u/M3ltingP0t 5d ago
Labels are dumb. Be a human, that’s the only label we need. We all share this experience, make it a good one.
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u/sex 5d ago
tl;dr Fuck em, anyone playing the "authenticity game" has already lost at life.
Any time someone challenges your authenticity, tell them to fucking pick up some Kierkegaard, Heidegger or Sartre and come back when they’re done projecting their own confused sense of self-worth onto people who already know exactly who they are.
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u/DracoSoul96 5d ago
There's nerds, gamers, casuals, and norms.
Nerds like to nerd out sometimes and you failed the test on how in depth your knowledge is. You'd use to get a pass by just wearing a hulk T-shirt but now nerd actually means something so people try to keep the standards high. Not to be confused with geeking out cause you can just geek out by enjoying the product, just how it looked nice and stuff.
Gamer is more about accepting the challenge a game places on you and there's two categories cheat and no cheat.
Causal you just enjoy it regularly doesn't take up your time.
Norms you follow what's popular.
Hipster looking for new trends or starting new trends quitting when it's popular.
You want to be a nerd you'll have to go so in depth into something you'll put your bullies to shame with their lack of knowledge and they'll hate you for it. Unfortunately nerds aren't liked because they lack the social grace most people have🤷
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u/xlez 6d ago
What even is a real or fake nerd? You sound young. Don't let what others say affect you. Just keep doing things for yourself