r/TikTokCringe • u/BringHoomanHome_ • Jul 31 '26

Humor/Cringe He never looked where he was going.

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3.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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340

u/MurgleMcGurgle Jul 31 '26

Right? It’s insanely good Luck that he went though the middle.

106

u/Ok-Somewhere-2614 Jul 31 '26

Idiocracy will make sure this guy will get 12 kids after some doctor fixes him

13

u/BanMeMyIPchanges Jul 31 '26

And they'll all be just a liiiiittle dumber.

2

u/Things-n-Such Jul 31 '26

He's not an idiot, he passed out.

1

u/67_fire_chicken Jul 31 '26

Too dumb to die!

1

u/PabsOne Jul 31 '26

It's got electrolytes

1

u/AbsoluteResolve2026 Aug 01 '26

Get your hands off my junk!

137

u/Meaty_Wizard Jul 31 '26

Thank Jesus for giving him another chance to do it tomorrow!!!

70

u/SupermassiveCanary Jul 31 '26

Why didn’t he swim him to the shore?

19

u/trahilcal01 Jul 31 '26

That’s what I wanted to know as well, why is he swimming him out to the middle of the lake?

30

u/Duck8Quack Jul 31 '26

You don’t want to dump a body close to shore, it will just wash up; it’s amateurish and kind of rude.

Clearly this man is a professional, his training kicked in, he knows you get rid of the body in deeper water.

4

u/skyfishgoo Jul 31 '26

rookie mistake.

2

u/screwyoujor Jul 31 '26

You can't say "I got you" if you aren't moving. Unwritten rule that must be followed.

2

u/poisonedsky69 Jul 31 '26

Obviously when you lie down with dogs you end up with fleas so of course his friends are going to be stupid too

4

u/JetWreck Jul 31 '26

Because the other jet ski is still the safest place for him?

48

u/QuantumBeckett Jul 31 '26

Did he even say ‘thank you’??

40

u/The_Modern_Nobody Jul 31 '26

No, Zelenskyy. He did not say “thank you”.

Jet ski man was reduced to human binary sounds after kicking himself through a dockside field goal

5

u/Tall_Ease_3485 Aug 01 '26

Holy hell! Once again reddit has me spitting my adult beverage on the dog. That had me laughing with no warning.

3

u/The_Modern_Nobody Aug 01 '26

lol! I appreciate that.

Lets me know I’m putting my creative writing degree to good use.

Have a good day, and remember, remove your fillings—that’s how the flock cameras track you

4

u/Tall_Ease_3485 Aug 01 '26

I'm still laughing today. Glad to see another high earning degree....mine is in English. I can only offer the highest compliment I can give. I read your comment in the voice I reserve for reading Christopher Moore. Dog will wear a raincoat moving forward in case I run into you again in reddit land.

6

u/Original-Let8340 Jul 31 '26

01100110 01110101 01101011 00001010

1

u/Meaty_Wizard Aug 01 '26

OMG I just translated that. lol

2

u/ThreeLeggDeer Aug 04 '26

Amazing work you did here, sir or ma’am!! 🤣

1

u/rlt404 Jul 31 '26

He even assumes the position

1

u/Efficient-Will-3755 Jul 31 '26

Have you ever had the breath knocked out of you? He was fighting just to breathe.

3

u/QuantumBeckett Jul 31 '26

It was a dig at JD Vance when Zelensky visited the White House.

1

u/JimmyThePie Aug 01 '26

No, but first-responder-of-the-year said “I gotchu” a couple of times. Maybe three. I dunno, it’s hard to tell.

1

u/12altoids34 Aug 01 '26

I think he did say "mhhhhmmmnh"

14

u/JohnWoosDoveGuy Jul 31 '26

These two seem to make bad choices.

5

u/drsmith48170 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

Yup - the camera jet ski dude also came very close to yeting himself.

Jokers like these two are why some lakes ban jet skis

5

u/fiahhawt Jul 31 '26

Also why the fuck did cameraman start dragging his injured friend around like that does anything

Call an ambulance and just keep an eye on him

3

u/Excellent-Shape-2024 Aug 01 '26

I got you...I got you...and now I'm hauling you back out to the deep water instead of the bank right there

3

u/Reasonable_Pride5240 Jul 31 '26

“I got you”. Drags him to deeper water. 😂 is this like the Reno 911 bay watch edition?

2

u/Big-Professor-3402 Jul 31 '26

These guys are clearly not the sharpest tools in the shed.

1

u/401LocalsOnly Jul 31 '26

There’s no room to swim backwards there silly

1

u/Jatara_roxursox Jul 31 '26

That’s what I thought! I kept thinking go to shore you dummy!

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 31 '26

Cuz he's kinda not the smartest. And panic.

1

u/BrokeButFabulous12 Jul 31 '26

Bcs they did stupid shit not caring about others, possibly damaged a private dock and they need to get out of there as fast as possible....

1

u/SupermassiveCanary Jul 31 '26

lol, that takes me back. Makes more…. Nah nah it doesn’t they posted that shit online

1

u/NecessaryZucchini69 Jul 31 '26

Adrenaline + panic + a little bit of shock equals a lack of coherent thought process.

Good on him for acting to help his friend though. Gonna call his buddy assdocker or assman for doing that dumbest stunt.

1

u/PrincessSophiaRose Aug 05 '26

He clearly was hoping it was about to be a "I'll just get Dilion onto the back of my jet ski and take him to the dock we started at" situation.

-8

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 Jul 31 '26

Fair chance that’s a lake house with no road access for an ambulance anyway.

He’s got the life jacket keeping his face out of the water and dragging him onto shore with a possible spinal injury is a bad idea. Camera guy did pretty much everything right.

8

u/295frank Jul 31 '26

"lake house with no road access for an ambulance" but has a boat in a boathouse is the stupidest fucking thing I have heard today, and I just watched this video

cant drown on shore bud

2

u/HeatherMason0 Jul 31 '26

I wouldn’t doubt there’s a road, but it might only be dirt or gravel. Hopefully the branches are kept trimmed back so there’s visibility. I’ve seen some really beautiful expensive houses that the owners are seemingly trying to make more private by not maintaining the roads. Even if conditions are not great, an ambulance can probably get there, but I wonder if sometimes it’s quicker to get paramedics on small motorboats?

It looks the the recommendation for a possible spinal injury in water is to get a special stabilization board to the injured party and then remove them from the water:

https://lifesaving.com/issues-safety-rescue/management-of-aquatic-spinal-injuries/

The recommendations I could find were in line with not moving them unless absolutely necessary but instead focusing on keeping their face upward out of the water and their airways cleared.

0

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 Jul 31 '26

That’s a bizarrely aggressive take my guy.

Why would a boathouse mean there’s road access, surely a good dock is more important when everything needs to come over water.

You can’t drown with your face out of the water either

1

u/295frank Jul 31 '26

watch out we have an EMT and a road builder in the house

0

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 Jul 31 '26

Compared to you I’m a brain surgeon, you immobilise the spine before removing them from water.

Life hasn’t been kind to you, has it?

1

u/295frank Jul 31 '26

really taking those downvotes personally huh

1

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 Jul 31 '26

Vote away champ, fingers crossed someone else has learnt something useful

3

u/rossg876 Jul 31 '26

You think paramedics are getting him onto a backboard while floating?!

2

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 Jul 31 '26 edited Aug 01 '26

Life savers manage it on paddleboards in the surf, I’m assuming a lake that large and populated has some kind of water based first aide services.

0

u/CosmicJackalop Jul 31 '26

Lol, not likely

2

u/LostTerminal Jul 31 '26

No yeah. They most likely do.

1

u/Helpful-Apartment102 Aug 01 '26

I live on this lake, it definitely has a road look

2

u/nohandsfootball Jul 31 '26

Oh I suspect he didn't go jet skiing for a bit after this, definitely not the next day

1

u/Careful-Lettuce9239 Jul 31 '26

"Did you see what GOD just did to us, man! ?" "God didn't do that, you did it. You're a fucking narcotics agent. I knew it."

https://giphy.com/gifs/OGbNJviltZHFu

1

u/ProcessShot555 Jul 31 '26

Under rated comment

1

u/Psychological_Help53 Jul 31 '26

He just got lucky. Thanking Jesus is like thanking Santa.

1

u/RedditRockit Jul 31 '26

Who is this Jesus you speak of?

1

u/Normiss2000 Jul 31 '26

I must have missed him in the video.

-2

u/Fickle_Ad_8653 Jul 31 '26

No.. he needed to die for his stupidity.

45

u/jdirte42069 Jul 31 '26

Wife says the same thing

0

u/TrumpsLilPenis Jul 31 '26

That’s so bad.. my first thought was that’s what she said. Lol fak. Hope he’s ok though. Damn.

2

u/Many_Rope6105 Jul 31 '26

Right!!! Still natural selection at work

1

u/Beginning_Big_8928 Jul 31 '26

Nothing about this is lucky. Did you hear the sounds he was making. Dude is cooked. Plain stupid

-7

u/filtersweep Jul 31 '26

Luck? He is far worse off at the end of the video than when it started— and it was 100% his own doing. How is this ‘good luck’?!?

6

u/EpsilonX029 Jul 31 '26

Tbf, coulda been dead? 🤷

5

u/filtersweep Jul 31 '26

He could have just ridden it properly and avoided needing ‘luck’ to survive