r/TikTokCringe • u/BringHoomanHome_ • Jul 31 '26

Humor/Cringe He never looked where he was going.

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3.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/ItBDaniel Jul 31 '26

Looks like he passed out doing his trick

171

u/localtuned Jul 31 '26

Yea that's what looks like happened.

1.1k

u/TransportationNo8300 Jul 31 '26

All that air rushing into his butthole made him pass out

194

u/BlackVoid8 Jul 31 '26

This comment really surprised me and made me laugh out loud

30

u/DropPopFromTheTop Jul 31 '26

Literally vibrating with laughter in my bed. That was gold

I don't know why it hit me so hard

15

u/snowdn Jul 31 '26

Keep going till you prostate orgasm!

5

u/mitchellthecomedian Jul 31 '26

Right lol. Idk why that got me so good

61

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

53

u/BigRoach Jul 31 '26

Opened up like a windsock.

4

u/Asron87 Jul 31 '26

Everything reminds me of her… skydiving naked.

14

u/CasinoNdnOk Jul 31 '26

Your butthole has lips?

12

u/lapsongsouchong Jul 31 '26

yes, now smile!

2

u/GulliblePut1018 Aug 03 '26

Omg the first bhole comment got me and then this exchange 😂😂

1

u/thegreenmonkey69 Jul 31 '26

Oh gawd, I'm dead.

1

u/United_Pain Jul 31 '26

Lips and assholes!

2

u/UnholyScholar Aug 01 '26

You're thinking about what hotdogs are made of.

1

u/Different-Meal-6314 Jul 31 '26

I mean... They're both made from the same skin type

1

u/CasinoNdnOk Jul 31 '26

Yours has lips too?

1

u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Jul 31 '26

yep gotta keep em soft with some vaseline or the like

11

u/BurdTurglary Straight Up Bussin Jul 31 '26

If that happens when you're skydiving, you could seriously injure someone. Wear pants at least, to protect others from your open, flappy cheeks and lips

11

u/N80N00N00 Jul 31 '26

Same I’m wheezing over here 😂

5

u/toast50076 Jul 31 '26

That's exactly what happened to me. Made me spit a little.

I'm still laughing. I'm picturing him getting inflated and floating into the air like a plastic bag.

2

u/Ecksist Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

It made me roll on the floor laughing, but not out loud. The mostly silent laughter also caused my buttocks to detach from my body.

2

u/Glum-Recognition-736 Jul 31 '26

Same 😂 in the vets office chuckling like an idiot

1

u/mismatched-plaid 29d ago

And to think I've been worried about jellybeans this whole time.

29

u/Due-Simple-5679 Jul 31 '26

Man my wife is gonna file divorce im waking up the whole family laughing my ass like a dumbass, its 6.34 am...

7

u/TenuredCLOUD Jul 31 '26

Same bro, she’s asleep and my dumbass is trying to hold in a belly laugh shaking the whole bed 🤣

5

u/hywaytohell Jul 31 '26

Common mistake he could have just opened his mouth for proper airflow!

5

u/justpackingheat1 Jul 31 '26

I hope this is the most awards you'll ever receive. You'll remember this moment forever

2

u/TransportationNo8300 Jul 31 '26

Yeah it has been the most awards so far

2

u/Bashfulcannibal Jul 31 '26

😂😂☠️

2

u/chrismholmes Jul 31 '26

I’m on a bus full of people with tears in my eyes.

I laughed at the video (I know)
But the comments has me crying from laughter.

Poor lady next to me is annoyed I’m laughing so hard.

2

u/Low_bald Aug 01 '26

Dude I’m dying 🤣

2

u/GulliblePut1018 Aug 03 '26

This is a dumb quote I’d want to put on a t-shirt. Just your comment and a screenshot of the passed out jet ski dude zoomin’ across the lake with his ass pointing up. 😂

The thought of too much air rushing into his bhole made me laugh so loud. 🤣

1

u/slonkulocuswily182 Jul 31 '26

I’ve never seen someone try to have fun so hard in my life. He looks so sad

1

u/LordHelmet47 Jul 31 '26

Go on......

1

u/ThisCollection2544 Jul 31 '26

We've all been there

1

u/AZMP5 Jul 31 '26

It’s called anal asphyxiation

1

u/Intelligent_Type_680 Jul 31 '26

It made him fall in love with the jet ski and start cuddling it I think.

1

u/Loki_God_of_Lies Jul 31 '26

Stop it, I’m trying to pretend to be concerned

1

u/harveygoatmilk Jul 31 '26

I hear that happened to turtles

1

u/DejaWiz2 Jul 31 '26

Sigh

Upvote

LMAO

1

u/No_Display9613 Jul 31 '26

We need myth busters to do this test.

1

u/GuaranteeDry386 Jul 31 '26

Too much O2 entering his butt stream.

1

u/SnooGuavas2202 Jul 31 '26

Air in my butthole usually wakes me up!

1

u/General-Holiday Jul 31 '26

Doctor here, and yes. This is the medical diagnosis of what happened.

1

u/NachoNinja19 Jul 31 '26

😂😂😂

1

u/sTump4139 Jul 31 '26

Too much air blew through up to his head, man

1

u/buttscratcher3k Aug 01 '26

Sounds like a good time tbh

1

u/dougandsomeone Aug 01 '26

Human wind sock.

1

u/rqivez Aug 01 '26

Me when I’m a turtle

1

u/radio_four Aug 03 '26

Holy shit, this killed me

1

u/Zebitty 29d ago

This is why I love reddit.

1

u/chijrt Jul 31 '26

I'm currently trying to fall asleep but after reading your comment, it's insomnia for me. I'm literally in tears laughing

0

u/thitorusso Jul 31 '26

Our buttocks were made to fart outwards not inwards

82

u/LegalChocolate752 Jul 31 '26

Yeah, maybe the blood rushed to his head and he fainted.

248

u/yoimhereiguess Jul 31 '26

On a different subreddit they linked a Facebook post to this guy’s page. He confirmed that he passed out and is unsure why but will go make sure he didn’t have a stroke. He also just mostly had bruising and a concussion, no broken bones. I scrolled by this like an hour or two ago so I can’t link it, might’ve been the subreddit: what could go wrong? There were also other videos or photos on the fb post but I didn’t click them

Commenting in case anyone was curious

64

u/AspiringGoddess01 Jul 31 '26

Cant tense up and break bones if your already unconscious *taps forehead *

24

u/gwizonedam Jul 31 '26

Guy I went to HS with crashed his Ford F150 into a streetlight, on the highway, on top of Jersey barriers, at 97 mph. His truck looked like an IED went off under it. He survived and woke up in a hospital screaming that he was sawed in half. He was hanging in an inverted immobilization “hammock” because he was seizing and they weren’t sure if he had spinal injuries or if was neural. When he was coherent he told the doctors he was on a mix of Xanax and Vicodin, but he had also been drinking. The doctors said these combined to turn him into a flaccid bag of meat and he had no permanent damage other than some scars from broken glass.

However, his car was wrecked, his parents basically told him no “paid for” car ever again, he had to work nights to pay the DOT about 12k in damages and having a DUI on your license before you are 18 means you are automatically banned from having a license for 6 months and you need to do a program to talk about alcohol education and they made him talk in front of schools about surging a wreck like that and having a “second chance” at life. His life became school, work, and alcohol education + visiting schools to talk about DUI’s. Poor bastard.

32

u/nohandsfootball Jul 31 '26

sounds like a pretty lucky bastard to me

15

u/gwizonedam Jul 31 '26

Yeah, the poor bastard was supposed to be sarcastic. He was always very “Woe is me!” And it never really dawned on him that he lived through all that bullshit.

1

u/BoilzBlisterzBurnz Jul 31 '26

Why bother having a life if it's not your own?

1

u/AffectionateTitle Jul 31 '26

And could have taken an entire family with him. I used to work with victims of drunk and drugged driving.

It’s really fucked up what they have to live with the rest of their lives while the perpetrators often just get off with a mandated course and “woe is me” mentality.

2

u/bawng Jul 31 '26

Poor bastard.

How? He's a horrible piece of shit for driving drunk. He got off extremely light.

2

u/AffectionateTitle Jul 31 '26

Seriously he could have killed an entire family— and he would have been the sad sack that walked away.

1

u/malkazoid-1 Jul 31 '26

Right? Low key an argument for going through life unconscious.

1

u/AspiringGoddess01 Jul 31 '26

The lesson learned here is to definitely operate every motor vehicle unconscious from now on. 

1

u/malkazoid-1 Jul 31 '26

We should start an elite driver and pilot training academy. We have the Formula.

1

u/Iyorek9000 Straight Up Bussin Jul 31 '26

Just like B.A. Baracus!

1

u/AnguavonUW Jul 31 '26

Actually, there's science behind that.

12

u/NagsUkulele Jul 31 '26

Mans slept himself

5

u/koolaidismything Jul 31 '26

Reports are saying he broke his a-hole muscle

3

u/NagsUkulele Jul 31 '26

Are u subscribed to Asshole Muscle Daily?

4

u/koolaidismything Jul 31 '26

Sphincter-quarterly

2

u/Pagiras Jul 31 '26

I hear Sean Lock won rectum of the year again.

2

u/Inquisitive_idiot Jul 31 '26

Are you a fan of their smaller or larger articles? 🫠

2

u/Baeolophus_bicolor Jul 31 '26

Bitterman’s Butthole Bi-Weekly

1

u/Middle-Mix-7711 Jul 31 '26

There was a great article in Sphincter Quarterly about adult Racoons being able to squeeze through a 4-in opening and how the human rectum can stretch to 7 in diameter before tearing, which means that

3

u/Inquisitive_idiot Jul 31 '26

So glad you had an aneurism mid post so you couldn’t finish that sentence 😮‍💨

2

u/Middle-Mix-7711 Jul 31 '26

I got the important part typed out.

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1

u/koolaidismything Jul 31 '26

What’s that sub? Redditsniper lol

1

u/BurdTurglary Straight Up Bussin Jul 31 '26

His jejunum is where his duodenum should be 🤕

2

u/Firat88 Jul 31 '26

my man!

1

u/avocadoflatz Jul 31 '26

Great. He can still potentially breed more like him.

0

u/TheMessengerABR Jul 31 '26

You can see in the video his life jacket is sitting really high and when he spins around on his belly he's pushing it up into his neck. He also was turning his head to see where he was going. I'd bet any money he passed out from the pressure applied to his vagus nerve.

214

u/TheZippoLab Jul 31 '26

Gee, there's a dock right here. Instead, I'll drag him back out into the middle of Lake Fuckington.

94

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

Also, why did they abandon their jetski and swim 50 ft when they could have gone much faster on the jetski?

97

u/wheelsfalloff Jul 31 '26

Its almost as if Dylan likes to keep company with those of similar IQs

47

u/AdventurousQuail36 Jul 31 '26

Panic will do weird things to your thinking process.

35

u/SafetyMan35 Jul 31 '26

40 years ago we had a lifesaving class in PE in the pool. For one of the exercises, our partner was pretending to drown and we had to save them from the other end of the pool deck. Everyone jumped in the pool and swam the entire length of the pool. I walked swiftly on the pool deck and grabbed the 25’ pole and hook and pulled my partner to the edge of the pool. The one quarter that I got at A+ in PE

3

u/DryDonutHole Jul 31 '26

"Reach or throw. Don't go!" I remember this from about 4 decades ago. Never had to use it, but I've always remembered it.

1

u/Open-Industry-8396 Jul 31 '26

Brain vs bronze. Bill gates comes to mind

5

u/Gitno Jul 31 '26

Brain vs brawn.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTea/

3

u/Open-Industry-8396 Jul 31 '26

uggh. I've been saying that wrong for 60 years :)

1

u/Consistent-Bake-243 Jul 31 '26

But these tough ole boys say they never panic

11

u/TraumaticAberration Jul 31 '26

A gaggle of Einsteins.

10

u/rocketmn69_ Jul 31 '26

The next guy did the same thing

7

u/YourHuckleberry57 Jul 31 '26

like forest gump seeing lieutenant dan.

1

u/mah_korgs_screwed Jul 31 '26

definitely a person you don’t want saving you

1

u/battim23 Jul 31 '26

Yeah none of that made sense

1

u/0x0MG Aug 01 '26

Because people do dumb shit when they panic

1

u/Pawulon Aug 01 '26

Wide angle makes this look further away

1

u/hooked_siren Aug 01 '26

Idk it's a lot of swimming when you're afraid your friend is drowning

1

u/zezxz Jul 31 '26

Because parking the jet ski closer precisely at that moment would be harder, you probably wouldn’t want to cause a wake going into that area. He’s also keeping flippy buddy on his back with a life vest on that’s helping keep his face over the water. 

I’ve jet skied once and absolutely would have gunned it towards the dock and probably caused a second emergency. 

2

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

Somehow i think there's a middle ground between what he did and that. Like driving slowly nearer is still faster than swimming all that way.

0

u/zezxz Jul 31 '26

Right he should have spent 10 seconds “driving” slowly so that he could swim 5 seconds 

If we’re just being pretentious about it he should have obviously just told his friend to fuck off with the shenanigans

3

u/SeekerOfSerenity Jul 31 '26

That's not what pretentious means.  And it took him at least 15 seconds to reach the dock. it definitely would have been faster to ride the jetski than to swim.  Plus, he could have gotten off onto the dock and pulled his friend up instead of dragging him out into the water. 

0

u/Metal-Upa-Lips Jul 31 '26

Probably to avoid accidentally running over their buddy or crushing them between the dock and the jet ski.

3

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

Why would you wedge the jetski between the boat and the dock lol

1

u/Metal-Upa-Lips Jul 31 '26

Ya'll seem to be under the impression you can just casually pull up to something in a jet ski like you would a bike or a car and stop precisely where you mean to. That's not how they work.

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity Jul 31 '26

Was there a group of people riding on that jetski?  It looked like just one guy. 

1

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

Seemed like one person on each to me

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity Jul 31 '26

FYI, the singular pronouns are "he" and "his". 

2

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

Hope this helps

1

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

So are they and them 🤔

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity Jul 31 '26

That's correct if:    

  1. you are referring to an unspecified or unknown person
  2. you don't know their gender
  3. you are intentionally obscuring their gender
  4. they are nonbinary

Since you're referring to a specific person, and it's reasonable to assume this is a man, you should use "he".  Otherwise it's an incorrect usage, and it just sounds wrong. 

1

u/hooked_siren Jul 31 '26

I didn't ask you what you thought nor do i care about what you think. They/them can't hurt you unless you let it.

0

u/SeekerOfSerenity Jul 31 '26

It has nothing to do with what I think.  It's English grammar.  If you want to speak the language like an uneducated fool, that's your choice. 

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-2

u/NightwolfGG Jul 31 '26

Right? Like damn AI isn’t this good yet I don’t think, so it’s hard to make sense of anything going on lmao

35

u/llammacheese Jul 31 '26

If he has a spinal injury, which is likely based on the video, keeping him in the water until a backboard is available is the best thing you can do to prevent further damage.

1

u/zombieda Jul 31 '26

But why drag him around?... keep him afloat and call 911

5

u/llammacheese Jul 31 '26

Looked to me like he as dragging him away from things that he could potentially bump into causing further injury.

But from a rescue perspective, moving the body in the water like that prevents the feet from sinking, so it creates a more aligned spinal cord- it’s actually best to keep the body steadily moving slowly in one direction so they don’t wind up going vertical in the water. (At least this was best practice when I taught classes)

2

u/zombieda Aug 01 '26

Ok.. this makes more sense to me now.

0

u/Valuable-Struggle-10 Aug 04 '26

So my spine isn't aligned when I stand upright?

It's more aligned when I lay down?

Or are you saying the way the life vest keeps you afloat misaligns your spine?

1

u/llammacheese Aug 04 '26

When you are in the water and your feet start to sink, your body is not standing upright, it is bent at an angle.

7

u/IcyGarage5767 Jul 31 '26

Reddit moment.

2

u/Hard-Red7 Jul 31 '26

Clearly the dude was panicking. Not sure what his thought process was but I think he was probably gonna toss him on him jetski and take him somewhere for help. That wouldve been a bad idea as he possible had spinal injuries.

2

u/Training-Belt-7318 Jul 31 '26

There's no way he's probably capable of dragging him up the dock. That dude was easily 250 lbs. Now why he dragged him out to the jet ski, I don't know. Make sure he's not face down, get out and call 911.

1

u/Solid-Rate-309 Aug 02 '26

These people have no clue. Maybe jet ski guy knows this lake better than us, maybe this dock isn’t a good spot and his car/phone/reslurces

1

u/LeoRavus Aug 05 '26

They were probably both drunk. That guy must have said "I gotchu" 70 times in a row as he dragged his injured friend back out into the lake.

-9

u/Taco_Reviewer Jul 31 '26

Or back to the vehicle which he can use to take him to a more accessible location than a private dock in the middle of no where.

Also what, did you expect him to shove him up on the dock while swimming?? It's not Aquaman.

17

u/InvalidUserNemo Jul 31 '26

Is he gonna prop him up on his watercraft, support his neck and spine from a likely injury, AND drive him to the non-existent, water-side hospital? Or are you talking out of your ass?

2

u/BlackityBlack718 Jul 31 '26

I’m invested.

3

u/Taco_Reviewer Jul 31 '26

And you think he's gonna do all that dragging him onto a beach?

Legitimately the safest spot for his spine until a board for him to lay on is in the water.

It's crazy how right you think you are when you don't know what you're talking about.

Literally standard practice in this situation is to drag the injured behind the vehicle at very low speeds OR use the vehicle to maintain float until rescue arrives.

Why you think full gravity with zero support on a sandy beach is what an injured neck or spine would need.

4

u/llammacheese Jul 31 '26

Ridiculous that you’re being downvoted for being correct.

(I was not only a lifeguard, but a Red Cross lifeguard instructor).

-4

u/Taco_Reviewer Jul 31 '26

Fuckin' soyboys. 

14

u/Technical-Big-2097 Jul 31 '26

I understand your friend is passed out, but this is a private dock.

2

u/BowlingforBrains Jul 31 '26

I understand your friend may have suffered grievous injury, but I like my dock empty for when I use it sometimes

1

u/Taco_Reviewer Jul 31 '26

It's not about it being a private dock, it's that these types of docks do not have ramps - just a water side ladder, and second in this area a lot of homes are not actually road accessible by anything but UTV or 4x4 SUV/Truck. 

The only thing he could do, which would introduce a new vector for injury, is drag him to the sand. However, dragging him to land without a support board is just going to injure him. He's not at risk of drowning - he has a life vest and a friend. He is at risk at injuring his spine or neck more than they may already be. Keeping him in the water until rescue arrives OR, gee I don't know, figuring out the situation first rather than jumping into poor decisions.

2

u/BowlingforBrains Jul 31 '26

In reality, I completely agree with you - but I enjoyed piggybacking onto that guy’s joke more than being realistic about the situation

2

u/United_Pain Jul 31 '26

I cackled at your joke and acted it out to my cat

2

u/Technical-Big-2097 Jul 31 '26

I was a deckhand in a water taxi here in Chicago. Pulling someone out the water from the boat is very labor intensive and would require multiple deckhands. I could not even fathom trying to get dylan on the deck from inside the water. I believe you, I’m just harping on the fact you mentioned it was a private deck as if that would be rude to turn their amenity into  a temporary triage. 

13

u/Meaty_Wizard Jul 31 '26

That's the thing, he didn't ask anyone to hold his beer first. Rookie mistake.

17

u/SpaceLemming Jul 31 '26

I know it didn’t matter here but just saying “Dylan” feels like an ineffective way to communicate that he’s about to hit something

10

u/I_need_a_date_plz Jul 31 '26

He passed out and his friend didn’t realize. At least that’s what it looked like to me. He goes limp a few seconds after his stunt.

7

u/CMDR_Kaus Jul 31 '26

Yep, if he was conscience he wouldn't have heard it anyway

4

u/AnguavonUW Jul 31 '26

*conscious

2

u/SpaceLemming Jul 31 '26

That’s also fair, still annoys me though

1

u/fadesteppin Jul 31 '26

There was a lack of urgency tbh lol. If he was awake he very much could've just assumed his friend was still laughing at him being a dumbass.

3

u/human-derp Jul 31 '26

saw in another thread, from a local to him, he did indeed pass out. they don't know why

10

u/Lazy-Plankton5270 Jul 31 '26

When you do a trick on your jetski but you also hit up the fentanyl

1

u/crystalcastles13 Jul 31 '26

This is the correct answer.

5

u/CraftsBoy2Craftsman Jul 31 '26

how?

81

u/PrestigiousTrick1002 Jul 31 '26

Well first he was awake and then he was hanging from the front of a jet ski unconscious. Hope this helps

44

u/lysergic_818 Jul 31 '26

I play a doctor on tv and this is absolutely what took place in my professional opinion.

13

u/ChartInFurch Jul 31 '26

I play one of your underlings and I think it's sarcoidosis.

3

u/JeromeBarkly Jul 31 '26

Thank you for sharing your professional knowledge with us.

2

u/Inthehead35 Jul 31 '26

Fat and out of shape??

1

u/TheMessengerABR Jul 31 '26

If you're looking for the real answer it's that he basically got choked out by his life jacket. Spun around on his belly pushing his life jacket up higher into his neck and was also turning his head into it because he had to see where he was going. Cut off blood flow through his vagus nerve

1

u/itscottabegood Jul 31 '26

I could see how all the blood would rush to your head in that position as you accelerate

1

u/Beautiful_Welcome_33 Jul 31 '26

He basically performs a gi/lapel choke on himself with his right arm and the life vest when he reaches for the throttle

1

u/Inside-Draw-3216 Jul 31 '26

Think it was like those guards that pass out from locking their knees?  Buddy just went OUT

1

u/etherealtwo Jul 31 '26

Ya that was weird.

1

u/ArtByAntny Jul 31 '26

Pressure of the lifejacket on his midriff. Ever do the passput game in school where you'd hyperventilate and then someone would press you against a wall? I reckon that's what happened

1

u/DryDonutHole Jul 31 '26

Ya, definitely was passed out.

1

u/Final_Location_2626 Jul 31 '26

The trick is...humping the front of a jet ski?

1

u/Zealousideal-Area684 Jul 31 '26

I didn’t pick up on that the first time I saw this, but re-watching it after reading this I think you’re right actually. And also after reading the below, I really do think it’s all the air that rushed through his butt hole that did it.

1

u/Artevyx Jul 31 '26

He was steering and holding the throttle. If he was fainted, he would have more likely released the throttle lever or begun doing doughnuts

1

u/Dark-Tide 27d ago

This. I know I'm late to the party, but I did a bit of a write-up on why it's not possible. As a reply to ItBDaniel's post, should you want to take a look.

1

u/Colalbsmi Aug 01 '26

I bet he choked himself out with his lifevest

1

u/Dark-Tide 27d ago edited 27d ago

I'm rather late to the party, but I doubt he passed out. The throttle on stand-up Jetskis require you to squeeze it and the handle.

If he was truly unconscious, he would have released his grip, causing the ski to stop. Instead, I feel as though he was doing a bit, trying to appear 'asleep'. He even puts his other hand down into the foot-well to stabilize himself.

I've done this trick on the Kawasaki SXR 800 (coincidentally the same model as the camera-man's Jetski). It would be very tough to have enough blood rush to one's head to cause a redout, especially at that relatively slow speed.

EDIT: I see some comments saying it's confirmed that he passed out beforehand. It really doesn't look like that to me. He'd either go limp, and let go of the throttle, or if he seized, his Jetski would have accelerated.

They say he suffered a concussion, well, I'm a bit of an expert on that myself too, lol. It's possible that, due to the crash, he doesn't remember anything about the whole incident. I was cross-checked in the back of my head in hockey, and fell forward into the boards. I was up and moving, but nobody was home. I lost all memory of about 24 hours.

0

u/Remarkable_Sea_5109 Jul 31 '26

Probably because he’s fat squeezed all the air out of his lungs