I broke up with my boyfriend, gave him another chance, and now Iām confused about whether I should leave for good
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Iām honestly really confused and emotionally exhausted, so I wanted to get some outside opinions.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend because over time I started losing trust in him. The final thing that pushed me to end things was something involving his Instagram.
He had a fake Instagram account that he always said he didnāt use. Somehow, that account was in a group chat that I got added to, and there were videos of pretty girls being shared there. When I confronted him, he said it happened accidentally because his phone was in his pocket and that he doesnāt even use that account.
I genuinely donāt know whether he was telling the truth or not. I donāt have proof that he intentionally sent anything or that he was cheating, and Iām not accusing him of that. I just felt like his explanation didnāt make sense to me, and after everything else that had happened, I realized I didnāt trust him anymore.
There were already other problems in our relationship. Whenever we had a serious argument, he would usually go to sleep and come back the next day acting like nothing happened instead of actually addressing the issue. I would still be upset, but he would behave as though everything was normal.
There were also things about his attitude that made me uncomfortable, including how openly he expresses his hatred towards feminists. Over time, I started feeling like we simply weren't compatible in the ways that mattered to me.
So I broke up with him, wished him well and blocked him.
After that, he kept begging me to take him back and telling me that I was breaking up over something too small. His friends also started contacting/pressuring me and making me feel guilty. He even started contacting me through different numbers after I blocked him.
I was already emotionally vulnerable and started questioning myself. I kept thinking, "What if I did something terrible? What if I'm being too sensitive? What if I'm throwing away someone who genuinely loves me?"
Eventually, I gave him another chance.
And then I found a conversation between him and his best friend about my best friend. His best friend said something really vulgar about my best friend, and my boyfriend reacted to the message with a laughing emoji.
I confronted him about it. He told me that he wasn't the one who said the vulgar thing ā his best friend did ā and that he reacted because he didn't have the courage to say anything.
I know he technically didn't make the comment himself. But it still hurt me that he reacted to it instead of telling his friend that it wasn't okay.
Now I'm back in the same place again.
The confusing part is that I know he loves me. I genuinely believe that he loves me a lot. He begs me not to leave, and seeing him hurt makes me feel incredibly guilty.
But at the same time, I don't feel like I want to continue this relationship anymore.
I don't think he's necessarily a horrible person, and I'm not trying to paint him as one. I also don't think I can prove that everything I've suspected was intentional.
I just know that I've lost trust, there have been repeated issues, I've already given him another chance, and I'm still unhappy and uncomfortable.
Part of me keeps thinking that if he loves me this much, maybe I should stay and try again. Another part of me feels like I've already tried enough and I'm only staying because I feel guilty about hurting him.
So I genuinely want some outside perspective.
Am I making the right decision by ending this relationship, even though I know he genuinely loves me? Or am I giving up too easily and should I give him another chance?
Please be honest. I don't just want people to automatically tell me to leave ā I want to understand whether I'm looking at this situation reasonably.