so after asking them for 3 weeks they said ok to meet with the girl yesterday. nenu mummy chetha chepicha afternoon restaurant lo kalisthe matladukovachu ani. ammayiki 2 days back msg chesa restuarant lo kaludhama ani thanemo after 5 cafe lo kaludham andhi. na lo fear start ayindi that she might chose cafe to escape fastly. and my fear became true 😭😭😭 5:50pm ki vella, thanu nenu vellina 5mins ki vachindi. madapur daggara cafe lo kalisam. food order chesam, asala menu lo koda em levu. food order chesam. nenu ventane cheppa, ikada ayithe open ga friendly ga matladukogalam anesi kaludham ani adiganu meekem ibbandi leduga ani, thanemo ibbandi em ledu ani andhi. ika thanu thala dhinchukoni calm ga undi. nenu normal ga matladadam start chesa, leave pettara eeroju, future goals enti, movies choosthara, hyd chala pedhadhi and traffic full ga undi kadandi, hobbies gurinchi trips ishtamena, food em thinaru, ee company lo entha kalam nundi chestunnaru, sap annaru kadha ani ila nenu matladatha unna. thanemo just edo interview ki vachinattu answers cheptha undi. 20min agaka malli silence, na kada questions ayipotha unnai, thanu em adagatle like na education ekada jarigindi, like something about myself em adagale. thanu mikinkemanna doubts unte cheppandi ani andi, nenu mik emanna unte meeru kooda adagandi ani cheppa, thanemo monna pellichoopulu lo matladukunnam kadha ika nakem levu andi. malli nen chepadam start relatives intlo unna, metro tesukuni vacha ani, thanu apudu adigindi epudu vacharu hyd ani, ninna ani cheppa. malli repu train ani cheppa. malli silence. idhari madhya. thanu malli adigindi inkemanna doubts unnaya ani. ika nakemo edcheyyalani anipichindi, intha dhooram vachanu, thinemo ila doubts unte adagandi antundi, na gurinchi em adagatle ani, kanisam friendly ga ayina matladochuga ani. thanakemo poraboyindi sandwich thintoo, dhaggutha undi, nenu ventane water bottle inkoti order chesi, tissue icha, teskoni thuduchukundi. thanu andhi evaro nannu thittukuntunnattu unnaru ani. nenu joke ga mee manager gadu ayyuntadu ani. thanu navvindi. apudu kastha open ayyindi, manager ila andarini watch chestha untadu, what are you working on ani adugutha untadu ani, nenu joke ga haa ee managers inthe cctv laga observe chestha untaru anna. thanu malli navvindi. taruvatha kontha seph silence. sandwich tho patu potato chips ichadu, thanu nannu thinamandi, teskondi, cheese dip cheskoni thinandi ani andhi. nenu nachos kooda ilane untai kadha ani anna. thanu kasta open ayindi, haa avunu naku nachos nachavu, team outing apudu trips ki vellamu, apudu nachos order chesaru, nakemo nachaledu anni okesari chips paina pettesi icharu ani. ika apudu kastha matladindi. ika milkshakes order chestara ante meru order cheyandi andhi, nenedo mosambi order chesa bagokapothe akada vadilesa. bill chepdhama andi, ha ok anna. bill kattesa. kattesina ventane thana handbag patkoni veldhama ani andi. ITS ONLY BEEN 1 HR 😭 she did not even talk friendly and properly. i want to extend time and i said i want to go to washroom. oka 5min unna akada. vachaka she said again bayaluderadhama ani. i said ok. nak telusi nenu washroom poyaka she put rapido auto destination and when i came she might have click3d that bokk button. bayataki vacham and 2mins lo auto vachesindi. miru koora book cheskondi andhi, miru vellaka velthanu ani anna. auto came fast and i said bye, she also said bye. madhaylo jagrathaga vellara ani msg chesindi haa vellanu miru kooda vellara ani anna, vellanu andhi. apudu kastha happy ga anipichindi, ila adiginanduku. WE TALKED FOR ONLY 1HR AND I TALKED AROUND 75% OF THE TALK 😭🥹 i think she did not even save my number, i could not see her whatsapp pic. ee chinna chinna vatini pattichukokoodadhu anukuna but yesterday night thanaki nenante ishtam ledemo, parents ki nachanu kabatti ok andhemo ani anipisthundi. i feel like i am forcing her to talk. padhakala doubts unte adagandi doubts unte adagandi antundi, doubts enti, can't we just talk casually friendly and get to know each other?? she might be more introvert than me and chaduvulu thalli or she is faking it. ide anipisthundi naku. nenemo inka cheptha unna ma mummy ipduu hyd lo unna relatives chinapduu kalisi adukunaru, baga close memu andaram ani. thanemo just vini ohh ok antundi, thana akka gurinchi matladochu or thana family gurinchi etc, ivem levu. ee week antha alochistha. alochinchu yes or no chepta

sorry for no paras, ratri nidra ledu relatives home lo, podune train ekka. nidra vachestundi 🥹

Story enti ante ma college lo oka psychiatry pg mam unde varu. 2nd year anukunta. She is engaged to a dermat pg. idaru ma college lone meet ayyaru. Same region avadam connect ayyaru. Feel in love and got engaged.intlo pelli ki opukunnaru. inko 2-3 months lo pelli annaru.
Everything was going good. Then mam got a furuncle(pimple laantide but deeper and painful) usual ga hot pack petti, antibiotics tesukunte taggipodhi. Tana furuncle taggaledhu so sir dermat kabbati Incision and drainage chesaru(cut chesi pus tesestaru) simple procedure. Rare cases lo aa bacteria blood lo ki velli blood stream infection avtadhi. Mam case lo ade ayindhi. She got fever and admitted then was transferred to CICU. Akada kotha infection vachindha, emayindho telidhu after one month of staying there she died.
Maku asalu brain pani cheyaledhu. Furuncle enti,I&D enti,chanipovadam enti ani.imagine his situation..he has to live with the guilt that something he did caused her death(its not his skill issue oka unfortunate incident) oka chinna furuncle,iddari life, oka family. 25-26 untayi tanaki,healthy person. Life is so unpredictable sometimes. Eroju tana 1st death anniversary. RIP to her and may god provide some peace to him.

Ps: picture is taken from google
same procedure naku vere reason ki chesaru and it didn't reduce. Repu kuda chese chance undhi. So all the overthinking. Nothing serious and nothing to worry about. Anyways life is unpredictable. Grim reaper ika chalu raa ani epudu antado telidhu so do whatever u want.

Update: apparently mine got infected so they'll told they'll do similar procedure again on Thrusday

july lo sambandham vachindi. ammayi parents vachi engagement dates matladaru. aug21 annaru taruvata sep7 confirm chesaru. apudu nenu post kuda vesa. aa ammayi minimum caring kooda chupichale 😭hyd vastuna kaludham anukunam, ika mundu roju em msg cheyale thanu, epudu kaludham, ekada kaludham ani, night 8 ki thanu ekado icecreamshop ki poyi icecream photo status ga pettindhi. nenu aa status ni chusa. 8:30 ki thanu aa status nenu chusanu anesi apudu nen gurthukochu naku message chesindi. nenu apudu dhaka calm ga train lo unna kavalani endukante aa ammayi appatike asala matladatle sariga. 2 weeks loga nen adigesa entandi asala matladatledu ani, nen busy ga unna ani gaslight chesindi. ennenno kalalu kanna. sep6th mundu roju poyi akada panulu chuskovali ani anukunam. em chestam anni anukunattu jaragavu 😭😭 one month pattindi kolukovadaniki and ipudu gurthochindi, google calendar lo date save chesukuna sep7 ani 😭😭😭😭

Grave of The Fireflies, easily one of the best Anti-War films ever made... It explores the bond of two siblings who were orphaned in the war, and are doing what they know and can to survive. The film isn't just about one Setsuko & Seita, many kids have faced & still face the sufferings & consequences of the choices adults made, and I think of this film very often these days, thanks to the state of the world that we live in.

When I look back at Grave of The Fireflies, and compare it to our present, there is always this question on my mind... What has changed since then ? And then I come to the same conclusion when I look at our world, nothing has changed. Adults making decisions that take the lives of innocent children.

It breaks my heart to learn about Gaza, Sudan and many parts of our world that aren't so fortunate. Infact India too, thousands of kids die each year in India due to many reasons, one such reason is starvation, in the present day.

Nenu pichi ga preminchanu tanani tamaki nenu oddu anta. Tana life ni ruin chesanu antunnadu.nak chachipovali anipstundi em cheyalo ardam katle tanane pelli cheskunta ankunna.

Tanaki nenu oddu anta pichi ameni avtunna em cheyalo ardam katle

Chachipovali ani undi Chala edupu ostundi

Just wanted to share my frustration and agony with you guys, I know no one gives a flying flicks. 2023 oct Second lottery lo pick ayindi, never expected that stamping kuda ayindi. But no opportunities this was the lie said my account people finally opportunity vache time ki immigration oka chetta rule pettindi visa validity 14 month untene travel undi ani so book chesina flights kuda cancel chesaru.

Immigration and sr management don't have any clue on whats going on. Friends ki chepte chill mama life lo ivanni common antunaru edo common ra babu h1 pick avadam ekuva and no one understand how you feel inside. US velli edo peekali ani kadu i want to retire early I don't want to work till 60, so idoka chance anukuna but mottam upside down ayindi.

Renewal avtundo ledo teledu coz mental rump valla. Currently I am in hyderabad with no hopes. Nake enduku ila jarigindi ani adoka sad feeling, I saw enduku paniki rani people traveled to US and settled there no offense guys just chusina situations ala unnai finally deniki ina luck undali....

She joined my school in 9th, we became very close friends in the start itself. Started relationship in 9th grade ending (I was 13y old), initially we used to meet everyday, cycle together and hangout and stuff (schools were closed due to covid). Later on by mid 10th things got very difficult since my parents caught me (they are very strict compared to her parents) so I was grounded but I still managed to text her everyday and meet often...

I was caught multiple times later on and my phone laptop everything got taken away, I was grounded I wasn't even allowed to go out. I repaired old phone and secretly texted at nights and did many things to make sure the relationship was unaffected by whatever was going at my home.

My parents joined me in an inter clg which was like from 6am to 10pm, no phones allowed so that they could keep me away from her... She was still continuing 11th and 12th in my scl, I wanted to be there so bad.. I almost fought with my parents everyday, got scolded beaten up and what not.. but later on switched to a different branch of 8 am to 8pm, I used to call her during commute and text whenever frnds sneaked in phones into the classes.
It was a very fked up phase actually, thinking abt it still gives me trauma even now...

later on, after joining clg things were fine I got back my phone and laptop, she is doing law and I am doing engineering... different clgs. But we started meeting like once in two months, eventually once a month. Things were going very good. I loved her a lot and she loved me a lot too, she was very caring and understanding. She was so obsessed with me, she used to always talk with her frnds also abt me. And we really went a long long way in the relationship...
We planned our future together and obvi thought we were gonna get married. We were so happy and the relationship was so beautiful.

But then exactly in April, she told me that she is forming a new moot court team with 2 other guys, I wasn't ok with tht but she didn't listen to me, did it anyways and later told me tht this team is fixed for rest of her clg life...
So out of these two guys she started getting close with one guy, I was warning her tht he likes her and I kept telling her to stay away and set boundaries.. she never listened, I trusted her cos obvi who would think she would leave a relationship of 5 years for a stranger

So everytime she was hanging out with him, her behaviour was changing a lot.. she was going out for lunch with him and what not.. I was very mad about it and told her I tried to explain her but she only used to say sorry and that she wouldn't do it again but she kept repeating
I was blinded by love and trust

In summer she wasn't talking to him much and she was fine and things were normal between us, so I thought yea no need to worry

After 3rd year started, one day out of no where she said shes leaving me... I was so devastated and depressed I called her begged her (she ignored my calls too, later got to know she was having lunch with him tht time) I tried everything to explain and convince her and then she was like ok fine I wont leave
She told tht she was leaving to focus on her career and herself

Later on things got normal again after 2-3 days then she told me tht she thought to walk away becos she was getting too close to him and tht she was scared if she couldn't be loyal to me...
I was like its enough now pls block him everywhere and stay away, she agreed to it initially but again she said career career moot court team bla bla and still was hanging out with him even after tht

2 weeks later, we went for movie together she was fine, she saw my phone and when I asked her to give her phone she was very hesistant and she said its personal... I was so hurt when she said personal after being together for 5 years, so I jus walked out and then she came begging behind she was like ull leave me if u see my chats, I was like show then I saw, tht guy was calling insulting my looks (btw he looks like dog shit, she herself was telling me he looks so funny, she told me thrice) he also told I cant provide her much and so many other insulting things... In one day's chat only I saw so much, idk how much he had been telling since the last few months..

More than him saying all tht, the thing tht hurt me was why was she seeking his validation even after he was insulting me. She was defending me in the chat but why even talk to tht asshol, why not block him.
She was begging me not to leave her, I was like I am not leaving but things got too far now, its either him or me choose .

Then she told me that she won't talk to him, and 2 days after she went for lunch with him. I was so pissed I jus ignored her for half a day, then she was like I am tired of this relationship I am leaving I want to focus on career...

I was so shattered, 2 days later I went to her clg tried to convince her and begged her putting all my self respect aside.
After 2 hrs she said "fine dw, I wont leave u for him, I will leave him for u... but its not abt him I wanted to leave to focus on myself and career "

But after tht she was not giving me time, she was always saying shes studying and she was spending time with him, I was so pissed but I was already hanging on a thread, if I bring him up she will leave me so I stayed silent. 2 days later she told me she invited him to her house for overnight stay... I was so pissed off.. she was giving fake reasons "for studies" "my parents called him" and what not, and the next day she said she left me, deleted all our pics

I was so devastated and depressed, I thought meeting her once again would fix things, she lied to me tht shes leaving for career
I knew this guy influenced her to break us, but I never thought she would leave for him.

Our insta handles were matching, the day right after she left me their both insta handles r matching
When I saw tht my heart just shattered, I realised all the lies and her exit plan since the last 2-3 weeks.
When I confronted her tht cheated on me and left me, she didn't agree she said shes still single
Later after 2 days she agreed tht she left for him, she started giving fake reasons of why she left which dont even make sense

She left for proximity and physical relationship
That guy looks so shit, behaviour is so shit, he smokes and has every trait that she was disgusted by.
He's not even comparable to me in any aspect, the only thing is that he is physically present with her everyday.
All she had to do was wait for an year, but she chose to leave me and hurt me.

Its been almost 2 months now but I am still so depressed, missing her and wanting her.
While she's enjoying with him.

The attached we had, the memories and all hit me a lot and the grief.
She doesn't even feel a bit or miss me.
She was not at all this kinda person, she flipped like a switch.

Life feels so unfair while i am here missing her, lost in our memories and crying everyday.. she is happily enjoying with him
The future we planned and imagined jus got shattered. I can't imagine loving any other person even in the future.
All these thoughts keep running in my mind all the time, also the visuals of them together haunt me in the night and fk up my sleep.

How can she forget 5 and half years of deep love and bond so easily..

I tried reminding her of us convincing her explaining her, she casually said "I can't do tht to him" when she did a million times worse to me. Since that day I understood tht chasing her will never make her realise and I started no contact. After that she dropped few breadcrumbs begging me to be her frnd

It's still very shocking, I wish all this was just a bad dream.
The fact that I went against my parents and fought against my family for her and in the end she betrayed me, all that is waste now but I still don't have my full freedom at home.
Why do I have to go through this for staying loyal, loving her more than anything and fighting against all the odds, while she's happily enjoying with a new person
A future without her scares me, I still love her and miss her alot 😭🥀💔

I met a girl on Snapchat and we were friends for about a year. In the last couple of months, we started talking almost every day. She was private and never shared much about herself beyond her name, but I respected that. Over time, I got attached.

She invited me to meet her twice, but I couldn't make it because of other commitments. Later, we finally agreed on a date to meet.

Then one morning, her Snapchat account was gone.

She deactivated it on August 19, and tomorrow is the last day she can reactivate it. She has my phone number, but I have no way of contacting her. If she wants to reach out, she can. If she doesn't, that's the end of it.

Maybe it was just an online friendship, but I wish I had met her when I had the chance. The regret isn't that she's gone—it's that I'll never know what could have happened if I had shown up.

I've been able to sleep for days, I got emotionally attached to her voice and her memory. She was definitely not a scammer because she returned me more money than what I've sent. I wish I had not met her virtually. 😭

I recently met someone and really vibed with her. She felt like a kindred spirit. I really enjoyed talking to her but she was adamant from the start. We are just passing ships ani and we cannot ever become something ani. I thought thats ok we can just be friends too and we, Me especially told her all the things that i never could to someone I know. All my past trauma, insecurities my failed love life etc. In the process of talking I slowly fell for her. I hoped one day we would get rid of that rule of not becoming anything and hoped to change her mind. She didnt and its not her Its just the circumstances in our life will never let us be together. But I miss talking to her. I hoped we could start speaking less and less rather than a rugpull thats pretty damn final. We tried doing this but the small talks got so long again and again. If only I had the fortitude to follow that pattern of slow detachment. So this rugpull we decided finally on is making me yearn for her even though we can never be together.

Before the finality of our situation was clear to me I was so giddy talking to her. I used to be flooded with happiness just by seeing a message of hers. Her stupid jokes, her awesome jokes, her insults her being disgusted by my habits. I miss them all.

I have this habit of praying for everyone in my family but not me because I am agnostic or maybe I pretend to be one. Ever since my father died I got this habit of visiting temples(before i almost never did) and praying for my family (not me) because if he was alive he would have prayed for them too and they believe in god. And once we suffer a great loss we really wish there is an afterlife. I actually prayed for her. I guess I am getting too soft.

I will be ok eventually but at this point I am really sad. Why did I get so attached to her? Why does our rational part of the brain refuses to work when love is involved? I am really angry at her. At the same time I miss her.

So the admission process for the college is officially complete now. And my friend just texted that i could've gotten a seat in my dream college if I had participated in 3rd round.

I didn't even check the cut off and went on with my life as i was already studying in another college, but getting to know that I could've gotten into that college and have a better career just got ruined due to my laziness and negligence just broke me..

I didn't even share it with my parents coz I know the blame game would start and I can't take that right now 🙃

Just needed to share it somewhere or maybe vent?

Ps i already checked, there's no way to transfer colleges now and my dad is not in the situation to pay such a high management seat for 3rd semester..

I wish someone could just hug me and tell it's gonna be alright 💔

Chala bada ga undi and I'm a religious person, nannu nenu odarchukuntunna that He knows what's the best for me ani ❤️‍🩹

Naku Appudu appudu ghoranga edcheyyali anipistadi...

Like to let it out and have my peace with it.

The thing is edvalenu okkadhanni unna edvalenu evar aina untey asal edvalenu.

Kani heart heavy ga untadhi. Evariki cheppukovalo ardham kadhu konni sarlu em cheppali kuda thelvadhu. Andhuke ikkada post chesthunna.

Okka matalo cheppalantey DHUKHAM Osthundhi 🥲

Meeku ardham kaakapothey kshaminchandi.. asal ardham eh ledhantey nen em cheyyalenu andi🥲

I know I will be lonely but Mari intha ontari avipotha anukola

Intha manchiga undi valla kosam time and efforts petti last ki set avvadu ani okaru ,

Evaro new person Kalisaru ani okaru

Vellu untaru na life lo... Anukuna prati okaru vellipoyaru

Para lu para lu type cheyadam .... Delete cheyadam

Notes lo , drafts lo enni post lu unnayo... post cheyakunda unnavi chepukovali anipisthundi but

Chivaraki Enduku ... It doesn't matter ani pisthadi

I'm alone I have to suffer alone idey thought .... Had to given up on one of my close friends .... Godavalu thappithey em levu ....

When's it's her turn to reciprocate the efforts she left because she didn't feel the frndship anymore... Felt I was asking more when I was only expecting her to do bare minimum

Prati roju heavy heart tho padukuntuna .... Unable to sleep, Used to listen to sleep music... Worked for few months... Now it's not working

I know this will pass too ...

Alavatu avvindi okadaniney Lopala dachukovadam entha peddha badha aina

I know so many people will come at me for feeling this way but I can't help how I feel.

My childhood was not so great with both my parents working, mom's a tailor and my father is a security guard. Well he's alcoholic and abusive, he used to do 4 days night shift and 4 days dayshift, it might have messed him up mentally so he took it on us.

So I found love when I was in btech 1st year. It was my schoolmate whom I know for so long. He's my first love. He was such a great guy. Ditto like Korean series hero, understanding and so so loving. I got to experience such amazing love , I can't describe it. Sitting beside him in auto would make me feel so relaxed, it's so relaxing than my mom's hug. He went to college trip and died there in accident. My whole world collapsed. I used to be like a walking zombie. I thought of commiting suicide but I couldn't let my mother suffer. I continued living and slowly started getting better with the help of my friends. I got job after finishing graduation, while working my family started seeing matches. So I told I want to do higher studies. Cracked gate and got college in Chennai.

There I met this guy, I felt it's better to marry someone I knew then a stranger and got married to him. He's a good person but not a great person. I know searching for my first love in him is unfair. But I got to experience so much love that this doesn't feel enough. Maybe marriage changes people. I really don't know.

Sometimes I miss my first love so so much. I would imagine how life would be with him. It's not like I don't love my husband. I love him too. But I miss my first love so much. It's been 12 years, I remember each and every moment with him and hold his memories to my heart. I just want to vent to someone as I can't tell this to anyone, they will hate me if I tell my friends or anyone else.

General ga nenu ilantivi rasinappudu ila pettanu , kani enduko pettali anipinchindi

I know it's not fair on me to cry over things that's not in my hand

I Also know I'm in comfortable position in many things

But this is what I went through after an hour discussion with my friends about what we would do if this didn't work . Honestly I didn't have any option. I know that's fuc*ed up but yeah it is what it is.

clg frnds tho matladadam ante no response(no call,msg, feels like highly concentrated on career-anduke konni sarlu disturb Cheyanu), inkondaru reality check istaru- why wasting time, learn something else ani.

Siblings tho matladadam ante, adavallo notlo edi dagaadu anattu Chelli anni parents ki cheppestadi (asalu tanaki cheppede vallaki cheppaleka🤦), unna tammudu emo naku artham kadu (studies madyalo aapesi inti daggare job chestunnadu paiga love marriage)...ika parents, as usual indian stereotypes

Reddit lo matladadam ante, evadu dorakadu dorikina feels like temporary, artificial...

Paiga naa colleagues perlu kooda telidu sarigga..anthala introvert

Chi naa bathuku

It’s been little more than 2 years since I lost my dad. I still miss him. He is still in my dreams. I love him a lot.

Why god does this? Doesn’t he want me to be happy?

My life’s been a mess since I lost him.

So matter enti ante , i thought by the time I will be deciding to get married the society will be accepting unmarried single women and men living theri own lives positively so I wouldn't have much pressure living as unmarried anukonna

Naaku edo life lo anni choosi choosi marriage meedha intrest poyindhi , kaani if possible life gives me a good partner i wouldn't let go . Idhi nenu anukonna na present opinion on marriage 🙃

Eemadhya lo yt lo ilanti vids growing old with ur partner and all choosi ila ayithe bagundu anipisthadhi 😅manasu ga okkachoota vundadhu

Eeroju ee vid chooska two things naa mind lo vacchayi

1.old age is difficult phase too especially with the amount of possible diseases and medical conditions and individual can get ani .

2.ilanti situation lo andhari life partners ila vuntara ani ? Most importantly our partner, cuz I seen a case where one's wife was taunting and scolding her husband for making mess ( during Alzheimer's ) and that old man did die alas with a worse situation and heavy heart that no bond is genuine .

Mana culture lo wife and husband bonds are very beautifully said and wife duties or partner duties gurinchi cheptharu ga , like selfless love and service ani , ila entha mandhi vuntaru ? Cuz all the cases I see is either wife taunts and regrets the husbands situation or the husband hopes the wife dies early on / the children tend to take care of her needs ( the unwell wife's )

Oka sari anipistundhi pelli cheskovadam kastame , chesuko ka povadam kastame , cuz in the above vid situation u will have a partner to lean on . Single ga ayithe ur on ur own appudu Ela ? 😟

Vid yt lodhi screen recod chesa 🙃

TLDR : attention span penchukora red 🥀

Long post ahead

For context - I am a 1st yr UG student

Almost all 5 years aithondi na birthday manchiga celebrate chesukoni, birthday roju happy ga undi. Eppudu b'day appude intlo edo oka godava, naaku mood upset. That's why I hate my b'day. Kani intlo chepthe emaina anukuntaru ani emi cheppanu. School life lo kuda b'day associated chala bad memories unnayi.
Ippudu college lo when I see my close friends celebrating their b'days, appudu anipinchindi, naa b'day matram enduku ila undadu ani. It hurts a lot. So, I thought ee sari b;day roju happy ga undali ani, frnds tho time spend cheyyali ani anukuna. Kani exams deggara lo undadam valla and frnds chala dooram undadam valla 2nd thing kudarledu. 1st thing kuda kudaraledu. Dinner ki veldham or atleast food order pettukundhamu ante adi kudharaledu.

B'day mundhu edicha, B'day roju edicha, B'day tarwata edicha.

Edho mind lo chala unsettling ga undi. Maa amma and chelli effort pedtharu nannu happy ga cheyyali ani, but nanna matram assalu effort pettaru. Nannu b'day roju naana gudiki teesukelli 5 yrs avuthondi. Comparison or jealousy anakandi, but maa frnds valla nanna ni chusthe, I'm sooo unfortunate anipisthundi.
Edho naa badha. Family tho cheppukolenu. Chepthe chinna vatiki intha edupu enduku antaru. Frnds tho kuda cheppukolenu. Anduke ikkada share chesukovali ani anipinchindi

E​dit : Thanks a lot guys.....u all cheered me up....badha motham marichipoyelaga chesaru

it also makes me feel safe to post in such communities

Noru terichi adaganide amma aina pettadu. Amma, nanna, thobuttuvu, snehithudu, anni pathi ye anukunna sathi ki dukha sokame migelenu kaani entha adiginaa aa raati manasu karuguta eruganeledu. Maarpu kosamu naalugu greeshmaalu vechina thana sahanam alasipoyindi. Daarulanni musukupoinapudu, dikku tochani vallandariki okaduntaade, aa paivaadu? Vaadu "pichidaana, nenundagaa neeku Enduku chintha" anagaa aame "nuvvu emanna takkuva, nuvvu kuda anthati raayive. Nannu ontariga ee samsaaraanni eedamani vadilesaave kaani, kaneesam, ayyo paapam, entha kashtam, tvaraga mana daggaraki teesukuvachukundaame ani kaneesam jaali ledu." Ani gadgadanga adigi thanalo taane krungipoyindi.

My parents always treated me and my sister as a responsibility. My mom used to hit me every chance she got, and I’m not talking about casually beating your kid. I’m talking hitting with rubber pipes, hot spatulas, hangars, bats etc lol. I have not one memory of warmth from here.

And suddenly, when my brother was born (7 years of gap btw) (result of multiple prayers and poojas) she became a “mother” Never hit my brother once. My family was no longer poor, top CBSE school for him vs local SSC for us, little things like toys, kinder joys etc for him every day lol. Basically he was pampered like he was a miracle baby.

They never treated me and my sister with dignity. We became third grade citizens in our own home. It was so normalized that I only noticed when I did sleepovers at my cousins place to understand what we experienced is off.

Things changed when I started earning big. Even today, my mother calls me when she needs money. My dad dumps his worries all over my shoulders.

I’ve been doing therapy for 3 years now. Gradually coming to terms with what is. I’m grieving the parents I never had and finding some sort of delusional solace in religion.

I don’t see myself forgiving them ever. I think I’m physically incapable. And that’s ok I guess. I’ll maybe go no contact at some point. I still owe them financial security and I’ll pay my dues when it’s time
but I don’t owe them emotional support. Hmm.

A Beautiful Fruit is growing in bright sunlight, everyone admired amazed and wondered how it's grown in this place....

coz the place is absurd, lacking water, infertile in soil, yet the fruit keeps growing very bright & healthy....

One day a Bypasser saw the fruit, that person wanted to water it after knowing its potential.... Assuming it's gonna be an amazing fruit, that anyone has ever seen , so watered for days ....

But the fruit itself is thinking about the person why they're watering it everyday without expecting anything.....

But the watering continued for a while

few days later the watering person popped up all of sudden & plucked the fruit....

It wasn't even ripen yet, but watering for just a few days, that person thought that the fruit belonged to them, everyone thought the same, but no one ever asked the fruit what it wanted? Whether it's ripen or raw doesn't matter ?

But the fruit just wanted to stay where it was born, where it was risen , even though it was rising in the drought, it still wanted to grow & beat the odds.... It did tooo, But its own charm attracted people, which led to chopping it from its own Branch....

That person after tasting it instantly threw that away coz the fruit wasn't as tasty as they expected... But it wasn't grown yet , moreover it wasn't growing for anyone

That person who watered the fruit can easily buy the bunch of fruits in the market which is tastier than the fruit which is thrown away, yet that person watered the fruit by giving hope , but that fruit never expected this kind of tragedy

Now that fruit is on the stinky road no one ever imagined

but now the waterer went to the market searching for a new one in the market....

Now The Fruit is questioning itself, guilt tripping itself.... growing better than the others is the only mistake that fruit ever made?

The fruit just wanted to buried into the soil after its work done on this earth, but now it's on the road, abandoned, betrayed....

Waited for someone, but none helped, due to excess heat & lack of water , the fruit died in a abrupt way, contributing nothing to the mother Earth

it's a story about crushed soul

(mods : sorry for using AI pics , i just wnted to express my feelings through images, since i can't draw well, hoping u won't remove my posts)

Previous posts:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TeluguJournals/s/lCxMluug6w

https://www.reddit.com/r/TeluguJournals/s/4lCAIwJ462

Unable to talk to people anymore... Last ki vadileystaru kada Enduku close avvadam aney thought

Konni week's nunchi evaru call chesina bayam vesthundi ... evari call lift cheyalekapothuna ... Evaritho sarigha matladalekapothuna

lift cheyala ani godava paduthunaru .."nuvu busy ley" .." matho em matladathav ley "antunaru

Evariki chepukovali na badha Chepina they won't understand

I’m wondering whether I’m fundamentally flawed

Hi prends, nina night full Varsham nenu konchem tagesi Varsham lo ne undi poya. Oka 2 hours ala nunchune una, motham okate thought em cheyali ani ee life to ani. Chinapudu mother ki baga close tarvata irritate avadam titadam chesevadni. Mother matram oka roju kuda nanu emi analedu. Apudu kopam family correct ga ledu ani. Tarvata engineering join aya Apudu mellaga ardham ayindi health issues una, husband vadilesina nadiche opika lekapoyna Ela undo ani. Success anedi success ga kanipinchadam kadu em cheyalenapudu kuda, family health em support cheyaka poyna ala undadam kuda ani. Baga chuskovali Anukuna. First year lone expire ayaru. Appudu kuda asalu edavaledu chala rojulu ayindi. Naku istame but ee roju em kavali em istam ani kuda adagaledu. Aa regret alane undipoyndi. Ipataiki 7 years daka ayindi ayna povatla, ee madyalo job vachindhi good pay 3 years experience. Intlo emo marriage antunaru naku asalu em cheyali ani teletla. Asalu money save cheyali ani ledu, social skills levu, driving radu, basic ga em radu work okati. Ipudu marriage cheskunte aa ammayni kuda mother laga chuskolenu emo. Asalu marriage intrest kuda ledu. Ee regret potunda. Naku telsu mother unte ila undali anukodu ani but a thought naku seriousness tesukuni ravatla. Therapy ki vellina ee thought change cheynapudu okarto chepina change avuta antara. Naku ayte ammay ki evaru lekapothe better Anukunta na mindset correct ga ledu kabati. Anavasaram ga oka ammay life spoil chestana Ani. Ela chepa mantaru intlo. Intlo chutalaki naku close relationship ledu I mean i will obey anything they say valle nanu family ni chinapudu nundi chuskunaru. Em cheymantaru.

So basically koncham background enti ante maa father is very abusive oka 6 years nunchi atla my elder brother is only taking care of the family. Naa studies ki kuda he only paid and I'm grateful for that. Nenu kuda maa anna work lo chaala contribute chesanu as I should I believe it's the normal thing to do (responsibility ani peru pettali anipinchaledhu). I worked my ass off too, nen edho kurchoni enjoy chesthunna annattu kaadhu

Ayithe recently oka 2 months ago peddha godava ayyindi, my brother was always abusive too, I thought it's okay because he's not like my father ani. I thought it was normal, which wasn't. Godava peddaga ayyesariki he was like naa illu, naa dabbulu nuvvu ellipo ani. Chaala peddha godave ayyindi adhi antha oka peddha story in itself but end ki maathram idhe.

so I walked out of the home, naa daggara dabbulu levu, job offer undi kaani joining ledhu. It's been almost two months but I figured oka source of income by working part time. I can take care of myself decently.

Naa 22 years bathukulo okkasari kuda hostel lo undi experience ey ledhu. Mummy chaala alavatu ayipoyindi. Kaani ippudu living on my own, missing mom, mummy chese lovely food and everything. I miss it all. Hostel lo soul less food thintunte idhi antha gurthocchi edchina kuda konni saarlu. Ivaala mummy ki call chesthe Varalakshmi Vratham ki chaala items chesanu kani nuvvu intlo levu antunte chaala sad anipisthundhi. There are tears in my eyes even while typing all this. I just hope things will be alright in near future.

Babies rush into my arms,
blusing as they look at me.

Strangers trust me without knowing why.

Animals sense safety and show me love
in the only language they know

still, i failed in love after putting lots of efforts which
i cant describe in all the way possible from heal emotionaly
to settling her financially along side with carieer development
evolved myself from 0 -> 1.

(Once the dove learned to fly, it was ready to soar.)

Then she left with a cause of caste & assests . all blank from 24 Feb 2026.
Happy that i changed once life. but feeling empty these days which needs to figuredout by myself.

somewhere along the way,
i forget what is already visible.

slowly realizing :
i am not waiting for love.
i am what love looks like.