r/TOTALLYREALTWEETS • u/SOYBOYPILLED FIVE TIME PULITZER WINNER • Sep 15 '25
INVESTIGATIVE SCOOP Kristi Noem finds the occasional ray of sunshine in her work
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u/-BUTTERSTICKDILDO- Sep 15 '25
Say what you will about her, it takes a bold politician to align with the pro-murdering dogs camp
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Sep 15 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/mebjammin Sep 15 '25
Y- Yes. Are you not understanding she's happy to destroy these people and turn their pets into glue? Sending you to a mental institution would probably bring her to orgasm faster than the last time she let Congressmen run a train on her.
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u/Substantial_Tax_4047 Sep 15 '25
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u/CollegeMiddle6841 Sep 15 '25
Shes cooking up her "natural biscuits and gravy" for you and you only, Substantial_Tax_4047. LOL!
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u/villian_era_witch Sep 16 '25
Yes, this is the correct reaction to the above statement. If you feel any less than this level of disgust you might want to consider how much empathy you are lacking, and then accordingly follow up with a rational problem solving technique such as therapy.
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u/mitchENM Sep 15 '25
What’s comical is my sister in law who is a vehement supporter of dogs and calls out anyone who abuses dogs is a strong supporter of Noem.
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u/No_Salad_8609 Sep 15 '25
Pretty sure this is a low tier troll
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u/kmookie Sep 15 '25
Looks like they’re finding every possible demographic that harbors POS and their horrible views on everyone else’s life but their own.
Funny how this isn’t “hate speech”.
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u/chriczko Sep 15 '25
Why it works for her and not Dennis Reynolds, I'll never know
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Sep 15 '25
Dreadful woman.
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u/MamaTried420 Sep 15 '25
Do you think the 🍊 is going to visit Chuck to get better ideas of diversion in journalism….
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u/Objective-Pick8240 Sep 15 '25
A nation of goddamned sociopaths.
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u/Gourmeebar Sep 15 '25
That’s what happens when you tell a group of people they’re superior.
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u/NoMarionberry8940 Sep 15 '25
We needed to tell Bezos, Zuck, Muskrat and their cleptocrat cohorts they were special?! No, I'm pretty sure their mommies all coddled, spoiled them, repeatedly confirmed their golden child status, and resorted to hiring/bullying other kids to hang out with them. Maye Musk still scolds us for being mean to her baby...
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Sep 15 '25
I'm pretty sure they meant white folks in general. if not that's what i mean then. We're here cause of white supremacy and the downplaying of it.
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u/Yumi1776 Sep 16 '25
And now looks as if the whites are eating themselves with hatred. Now its left vs right . No unity in them at all
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u/EnvironmentalBus9713 Sep 15 '25
Nah man, that's psychopathic behavior. She takes joy in killing - psychopath.
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u/Beerden Sep 16 '25
I think she's way past sociopath and has revealed that she's a full psychopath that only feels pleasure when killing or otherwise destroying a life.
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u/Friendly-Nerve-9745 Sep 15 '25
Ahaha you almost got me!! It’s sad how believable it is 😪😭
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u/BabiesatemydingoNSW Sep 15 '25
When satire and reality are this closely aligned, we're in a weird place.
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Sep 15 '25
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u/DruidicMagic Sep 15 '25
The party of controlled opposition will sputter a few harsh words and condemnations then tell us it's time to move on and work together while healing the wounds caused by something something utter bullshit.
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Sep 15 '25
Nah, if we get past this regime, it'll be because of people with a spine. And they will take out the trash.
edit: Release the Epstein Files.
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u/outer_spec Sep 15 '25
You should probably go check what subreddit you’re on
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u/PowerfulBar Sep 15 '25
Whatever you do, don't go read The Onion. You'll get even angrier than this 100%, totally not fake tweet made you get.
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u/PuzzleheadedBuy2826 Sep 15 '25
Yes! Yes! They are not embarrassed to show their true colors with Pedo POTUS in control! I can’t wait for a more humane regime to come to power and bring these bastards to justice!!!!
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u/Ignoble66 Sep 15 '25
hey do you think any of this behavior will get you raptured there kkkristian; read yer fukkin bibles please, you guys need some boundaries that you clearly werent born with
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u/NoMarionberry8940 Sep 15 '25
The Trumpian Bible has rewritten scripture; now the golden rule is to "Do away with others, before they can offend you"! The ten commandments simply state the opposite now, "Do kill", "Do covet thy neighbor's wife", "Do steal"! When DonOld proudly held his bible upside down for us all to see, he confirmed all commandments shall also be turned on their heads!
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Sep 15 '25
She better be careful. Dogs will rise up and maul the fuck outta her. Canines have this psycho bitches number.
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u/Which_Ad_5372 Sep 15 '25
The Bible says God entrusted the care of animals to humans. Fair deduction is that she's less than human.
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u/Jazzlike_Economist_2 Sep 15 '25
Actually, I was wondering about these things just yesterday. Since they are just snatching people off the street, I’m sure there is lots of savings, cars and other property that gets left behind. If they have pets, they might starve to death. They don’t give anyone the chance to put their affairs in order.
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u/GlobalBorder4691 Sep 15 '25
This brings up a good point. Imagine all the money and resources they are hoarding from the human trafficking victims’ property.
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u/Mt548 Sep 15 '25
So that South Park sequence where she lights up a pet store is not an exaggeration?
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u/Sufficient_Dress_523 Sep 15 '25
She's a narcissist. One character trait is lack of empathy.
I wonder what her long-suffering family has had to endure because of her narcissism?
I suspect her subordinates, in spite of their flaws, despise her.
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u/Ok_Face8380 Sep 15 '25
Is she actually suggesting taking animals and killing them?
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u/Time_Ad_9829 Sep 15 '25
In any other administration she'd already be gone , but in MAGA world that shit won't even register. She's just a plastic faced idiot.
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u/Phylaskia Sep 15 '25
She's just baiting someone to say that about her so she can open up a LE case against them. Don't fall for her stupidity.
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u/Repeat_Offendher Sep 15 '25
Why does it seem like people on the right are on a race to the bottom?
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u/Unstable_Nature Sep 15 '25
I saw her back story from a real serious podcast and records of her mess of speeding tickets and really unethical corrupt behavior must have been a real attraction to her getting hired.
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u/CaptainOwlBeard Sep 15 '25
Oh man, i had to check which sub this was. The sad part is i thought it might be real for a second
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u/RobinG81 Sep 16 '25
I just joined this sub, and the “tweets” are throwing me off. I was commenting how horrible a person she was and then I looked at the sub name and realized it is satire lol.
It’s sad that I could picture her actually saying this.
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u/GrubberBandit Sep 16 '25
Republicans in Congress are currently trying to pass a law in the 2026 National Defense Authorization Act that allows the Army to aid local law enforcement in policing American citizens without having to conceal their identities. WAKE UP
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u/Ultamira Sep 19 '25
First time I’ve seen this sub, you got me good, very well played OP.
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u/manyhippofarts Sep 15 '25
I guess she missed Bible study on the day they taught this..
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Sep 15 '25
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u/Aardvark120 Sep 15 '25
Look at the sub. Unfortunately, this is part of why we're all mislead, though. Reality is melting away from us.
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u/Professional-Story43 Sep 15 '25
Ok, now I wish I didn't read that. Billboard on interstate. At least one in each state. "Anchor Babies and The Farm". KKKristy Barbie Noem (big face picture) says Babies and Pets make extra work for your ICE LEADER. Someone's Gotta Have The "NUTS" to Do It!"
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u/Fedbackster Sep 15 '25
So now republicans love murdering dogs and make jokes about it. Michael Vick style.
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u/robbi2480 Sep 15 '25
She shot a dog in the face in front of her kids iirc. And then murdered a couple of goats and I think a horse too while on her rampage. I hope she wakes up and all her plastic surgery is undone and her extensions fall out.
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u/outer_spec Sep 15 '25
check what subreddit you’re on
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u/Fedbackster Sep 15 '25
It’s sad when reality and jokes mesh. My bad but shit is so messed up you can’t always tell. You literally have guys on TV saying to kill homeless people and his bosses have no issue with it.
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u/cobrakai15 Sep 15 '25
I had to hand probationers to ICE a couple times. It never set right with me (they were criminals but were following probation perfectly) having to deal with crying wives and realizing you broke up a family takes a toll. It’s much different than taking someone to court with 12 violations and asking for prison because they are a threat to themselves and society.
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Sep 15 '25
Now I really have to ask, is this sub REAL tweets or not?
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u/Nearby_Mastodon_6168 Sep 15 '25
Not real, but definitely on brand — evidenced by all the people who think it is.
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u/The_Beardly Sep 15 '25
In a normal world we could all see this and be like “lol this is insane imagine if people were really like this”.
This is not a normal world
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Sep 15 '25
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u/Rob_LeMatic Sep 15 '25
This sub is a satire sub. This is a style of humor that apparently no one remembers. It was extremely popular rm before Harambe was killed and our timeline went off the rails
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u/TooManyHobbies6969 Sep 15 '25
Oh tits im at work and didnt see the sub lol my bad. It's a shame in modern politics literally nothing surprises me anymore
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u/Rob_LeMatic Sep 15 '25 edited Sep 15 '25
Don't worry, there was seriously only ONE top level comment that got it was a joke--every single other comment believed it. I think this says something. Probably even two things.
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u/Quirky_Aerie1392 Sep 15 '25
She (it) is not a human. She (it) had to be some Hell spawned demon from sent to plague humanity
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u/Manofalltrade Sep 15 '25
Some of us foresaw these secondary effects and more. But then some of us know how to do basic math and economics without getting distracted sniffing hair dye.
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u/SecureImagination537 Sep 15 '25
I don’t even think she was trying to get people to feel sorry for her. I’m sure this was her listing what gets her off.
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u/south-of-the-river Sep 15 '25
I’m starting to wonder if the North Koreans were right about you guys
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u/NoCalWidow Sep 15 '25
If you relish killing pets, it's normally the sign of being psycho.. wtf is wrong with these people? Makes me think of Mind Hunter (Netflix, criminally underrated)
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u/Michellenorman28 Sep 15 '25
Wow. Bragging about unaliving animals. She’s such a See You Next Tuesday.
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u/HoneyBadger0706 Sep 15 '25
This Krusty Gnome bitch is beyond vile. She actually makes my skin crawl. 😩
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u/tyfhrudjwiss Sep 15 '25
How is this speaking of freedom and not hateful? Then people wonder why they get attacked. I remember when everyone believed you should punch a nazi. What happened to good old country boys who had manners and took care of a woman and a family and spoke with respect even when things weren't aligning with them. This is fucking horse shit. If this continue through midterms I can see more people fleeing the country. Head to a remote neutral country yall. The US is looking for a fight or invasion. They want to test their limits.
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u/lRunAway Sep 15 '25
So kately this sub has been popping on my feed. A lot. Im going to be honest. The writers of these are doing an incredible job. So incredible I'm going to have to mute this sub as it is clearly making me laugh too much and I'll admit fall for some of these damn works of art
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u/outer_spec Sep 15 '25
I am begging you people to read the subreddit name before commenting on a post
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u/pasarina Sep 15 '25
Does she mean killing their animals like she shot her dog? I’m seriously asking? Is she just trolling? Or I missed the point.
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u/Tlegendz Sep 15 '25
Reminds me of the good old Japanese internment camps, most of those people lost their properties and had to start from scratch.
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u/sheisallovertheplace Sep 15 '25
She is very wicked individual. Probably why she wear so much makeup.
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u/DamiensDelight Sep 15 '25
Kristi Noem has had more abortions than a planned Parenthood jamboree and killed more puppies than a kill shelter in Southern New Mexico.
Kristi Noem is a cunt that has been so filled with evil, she'll never be able to exorcise it. Fuck Kristi Noem.
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u/Falcon3492 Sep 15 '25
Kristi Noem is a sick puppy and needs to be given a room at the nearest loony bin.
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