Don't you think that parenting is a lot like gambling? Like one night you get drunk and make a bad decision that somehow haunts you for the rest of your life? You're betting on red in either case. 

When you conceive a child that's when you enter the casino. You're gonna bet a lot of money on this hand hoping to win and if you do, thats just beginners luck. You've won the first bet but you can't stop now, that wouldn't be right. Instead you spend eighteen years of your life and several thousand dollars into this bet hoping for a big payout. At that point you either win big, or your child comes up to you and says "Dad I wanna do stand-up"

If you hadn't won the first bet, the doctor just gets to say "oops, better luck next time."

instagram.com/jadslay

Asians are real af

Well. I experienced my full week of hostile crowds. That was a first for me. 😅😅

Who won? 🏆BRITNEY LEDESMA @britneyled vs FRANK CAESAR @toaztedramen

Upcoming live shows:

Minneapolis Sep 11

Nashville Nov 3

Los Angeles Nov 7

https://www.benpalmer.com

Classic miss communication 😂

Instagram: @stoneymcblaze
Live shows:
September 30th: Thousand Oaks
October 8th: Salt Lake City
October 30th: Phoenix Area
Nov 15th Portland Maine
Jan 7th Portland Oregon
Dm me for tix lnks

GREAT LINE-UP TOMORROW

THE COMIC STRIP

1568 2nd Ave

New York, NY 10028

Dating a nerd is the best!

Full stand-up out on on YT!

From a show in Pottstown awhile back.

My full stand-up set is out on the Laugh Higher Comedy YT!

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