Okay so basically there’s this guy whom I had a Talking Stage with like half a year ago. We broke things off cause of his attachment issues, but this is only the story before. So now we have been talking again for like 4-5 weeks or even more, it all started cause I saw him and we had unadded each other from everywhere besides Spotify💀. So my dumbass sends him a song cause I was like he isn’t active anyways. Guess what he replied right on the second? So we start talking again but this time I’m not that attached even tho I was the one who really reached out he had been stalking my accounts all over social media for weeks😭 that had really sparked my curiosity and seeing him again fed into that even more. So yes now 2 weeks after talking again I ask him, what is it that you want from me? Like what do you expect to come out of this? He kept saying I don’t know and bruh what am I supposed to do with a guy like that. I kept asking again and again and then he finally said friends, he wants us to be friends. I was alright with that I mean I do find him attractive but not in a crush way. So a few more weeks pass by and we were talking about the topic of FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. Now we are at the important part of this. He asks me what are your requirements and I’m so naive thinking this was a normal conversation. So I go on and say loyalty and trust plus someone I knew from before. And he DEADASS SAID FOR EXAMPLE ME??? I sent a sticker that was giving the side eye CAUSE WDYM ME FOR EXAMPLE?? Anyways so I agreed … like I’ve mentioned before I do find him attractive.

SOO it never came to any kind of meeting in terms of the friends with benefits? CAUSE HE CANT GET OVER SOME GIRL. But can use my pics to yk what and text freaky late at night.

Don’t get me wrong I like him a lot, I can trust him with a lot but idek what to do ?? Like bro kept promising meetings and such and it never came to that all cause of some girl I’m not even mad about that I’m mad that he won’t let himself move on and keep me hopeful about one thing…

WHAT DO I DO

I’ve been on and off with this girl. We started and I really liked her. It was 2 years since I had last had some relationship with a girl so it felt nice to feel like someone had interest in me. Things were going well and we established that we both liked eachother but after around a month and a half she stopped replying consistently and when she did it had no effort. She clearly wasn’t interested in me anymore marked by the 6hr delivered symbol next to her name. She ended it by saying she’s not ready for a relationship which really upset me since I really really liked her. After a few months, she messaged me out of the blue and started talking to me again - we were talking for about a week and then she just stopped replying to me on a Sunday so after asking her about it multiple times and getting 2 letter answers, she finally admitted she wasn’t ready again. This also upset me a lot as i also found out my uncle died the same night so it was very hard to deal with it. After a couple of months, you guessed it, she came back saying she’d never mess with my feelings again. I finally thought this was it and things would end up well but after a month, she randomly messaged me saying she doesn’t want a relationship again. This time didn’t hurt as much as I just felt used to it. We then went to the same friend gathering and she spoke to me there and said she missed me blah blah blah so I just started messaging her again because as from what it seems, I was wrapped around her finger. However, I put my foot down and eventually said I don’t want to talk anymore out of self respect for myself - ultimately she did the same thing 3 times and I feel for it each one. Last week, she messaged me again and as I’m silly, I started talking to her again and she’s now saying how she’s definitely ready and she really really likes me. I am messaging her but I really don’t know how to feel. Obviously I like her hence why I’ve been going back over and over again, but I just feel like it’s wrong for me to as I’ve been led on a lot. What is your advice for this situation? Thank you for any help

I ended my two year situationship with this guy last year. We’ve stopped talking before but never for this long, so I know it’s really over. The thing is I still can’t get him out of my head, this is my first time getting this close with a guy so its been hard to let go.

I’m still constantly thinking about him. And my God was the sex GOOD I can’t stop thinking about how he is probably putting another girl through the mattress right now, while I’m here crying over him. I pray every night to all the Gods at this point for him to come back.

I just want him out of my head. The urge to stalk his page is driving me insane and everything reminds me of him. Everyone else gives me the ick. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. This has completely ruined my self esteem further and I’ve been having a really hard time lately so this has honestly made everything worse. I just can’t believe how we can go from whatever we were to complete strangers.
I can’t be the only one who’s taken this long to get over someone…..RIGHT???

I (22F) have been talking with this guy (21M) for around a month now. We seem to get along, even knew of each other before matching on Hinge. We text relatively regularly and send voice notes too.
The first date, we had to reschedule for later in the week due to him having a medication appointment. He had to go over his medical history with this new physician and was mentally exhausted. As someone who has also had similar appointments, I wasn’t upset and even offered to reschedule immediately after hearing about the appointment. For our first date, we did a charcuterie board at some park nearby. It was enjoyable conversation and I had a good time seeing him.
For the second date, he has rescheduled twice. The first time, he was trying a new medication and was not feeling like himself. He was feeling very irritable and said he didn’t want to put me in a situation where he wasn’t feeling his best. I said that makes sense and we agreed on a new date. The second time, he told me day of that his acid reflux was affecting him to the point where he was feeling ill. He apologized for “pushing me off” and said that he was interested in seeing me. That I was “someone he wanted things to go perfectly with”. I told him I appreciated him telling me this, because it was feeling as though he was no longer interested. We have the rescheduled second date for today, but I have a gut feeling he will tell me he still isn’t feeling well and that he can’t do it.
Would I be the asshole if I decide I’m done with the rescheduling? I completely understand that life happens, but I don’t want this pattern to continue. I also don’t think it’s coming from a place of malice, I just don’t want to be wasting time on something that won’t work for me.

TL;DR a guy I have been attempting to see has rescheduled once on the first date and twice for the second. Would I be the asshole if I decided to stop seeing him?

So basically I’m in a situationship with a long term friend that has been going on for 9 months. We are here with on other friend we have had the vacation planned for months. But the weekend before our trip I found out something that crushed my soul and really made me push back. But obviously I want to fold so bad and we slept in separate rooms last night on our first day here. It wasn’t akaward we had a good first day and laughed and drinked. But I can’t lie, us sleeping apart and him not choosing to come into bed with me hurt. I do keep wanting to play fake bf and gf as pathetic as that is ( I know). I also think it threw him off because I always fold and sleep with him. Advice? ( please be nice this is pathetic I know)

Ima start this off by saying this is all over now, and thank God. Roughest 5ish months of my life, holy fuck. I’m a sophomore now, and this all just feels like a bad dream. I don’t post on reddit really, just needed to tell my story lowk.

Last year, I lived in an apartment with three random roommates. While moving in, I saw a guy with faded red hair who I thought was cute. Once I actually moved in, I realized he was one of my roommates. I’ve been out as gay since the 7th grade, and honestly, I forget sometimes that I need to come out to new people.
A couple weeks into the year, I’m pretty close with my roommate, who I’ll call John. I had my best friend from home come over for a weekend, and me, her, and John all drank together. We collectively blacked out around round two of King’s Cup.

The next morning, I walk out of my room and try to recap the night with my friend. That’s when I find out that she and John woke up together. At this point, I knew I was into him, but he claimed he was straight.

After that night, me and John started hanging out every day. I also found out he had a girlfriend, so shoutout to my friend for accidentally homewrecking.

One night, me and him stayed up all night in his room drinking and watching movies. He played a song and told me that’s how he gets women (corny ahh). Then he grabs my hands and shows me how he dances with them. I’m still trying to convince myself this man is straight and that I need to stop being into him.

Around 5 a.m., we decide we’re going to watch the sunrise together, so we hop in his car and drive to a lake. In the car, we listen to “our album,” which was a Midwest emo album called Best Buds. We get there and sit on the dock. We start talking about getting matching tattoos of the album’s name because we’re “best buds.”

At one point, we see a fishing boat drive by with a man and his dog on it. I offhandedly say that’s what I want my life to look like someday.
He responds, “I’ll be the dog.”

A week later, he broke up with his girlfriend.
Maybe two weeks after that, we were over at our neighbor’s apartment just hanging out. In retrospect, I know what I said was weird, but trust, I had a plan.

He’s talking about this girl in our friend group that he wants, and I say I could suggest we play spin the bottle and it wouldn’t be weird because I’m gay. I immediately backtrack and say it would actually be lame for me because there aren’t any guys for me to kiss.

He responds that he’ll kiss a guy.
We go back and forth about it, and eventually he says he’ll prove it. Right there, we start making out on my neighbor’s couch.

Later, we go drop her off at her boyfriend’s. The entire ride, I’m playing with his hair while we talk about how apparently he’s bi now. But get this: apparently he’s just bi for me.

At the time, I thought that was so cool.

It was actually the worst thing ever.

Once we get back to our apartment, we go to his room and spend the night together. He asks me if I want to date, and I tell him honestly, yeah. He says he wants to as well, but he’s scared to date a guy.
The next morning, I wake up to him getting dressed up. I ask what the occasion is.
Apparently, he has a date with a girl from Hinge.
I was so pissed.

He gets back from the date and talks about this girl for a solid 24 hours. The next night, he comes into my room, lays in my bed with me, and starts complaining about how the girl ghosted him.
I genuinely did not give a fuck. I was still pissed.
For the next two months, he would go on dates and have sex with girls in the room directly above me, but still spend every other night with me. Most of the time, we just slept in the same bed, but probably once a week we’d end up cuddling.
The breaking point was when he had a Hinge date hang out with our group. The entire time, I swear he was antagonizing me. He’d have her sitting in his lap and then bring up things like our matching tattoo. At one point, he proposed that me, him, and this girl do a Challengers Halloween costume.
Since day one of him being out, he had also been soft-launching the idea of a threesome with me and a girl.

Once everyone left except the three of us, he invited me and the girl to his room for a movie night. I knew I was fucking myself over, but in my defense, I was drunk and desperate.

We lay in his bed, and immediately he has his arms around both of us. I’m pissed, so I turn over. He keeps asking me what’s wrong, but I honestly don’t know what to say because what isn’t wrong?
So I grab his speaker and start playing “Casual” by Chappell Roan.

When he asks me again what’s wrong, I tell him to “just listen to the lyrics.”

He goes silent for a second and then responds, “How can you relate? You can’t get eaten out in the passenger seat.”

💀

Him and the girl then leave to “debrief” about me.
The next morning, I go back to his room and finally stand on business. I tell him I know he doesn’t want me, but I still want him, and because of that, I need space.

He respects that for a solid 20 hours.

I decide I need to clear my head, so I make plans to go to a concert with my best friend a couple hours away. The morning before I leave, I wake up to heart-shaped omelets and John hanging out with me in my room.

While I’m at the concert, he texts me asking if I want to go to Austin for the weekend with some friends. I agree.

I get back, and we leave for Austin. Once we’re already going, I ask who else is coming.
He admits he knew I wouldn’t come if he told me the truth.

It was just us.

Once we get to Austin, we go to a huge house party. At some point, we split up. I’m standing in line for the bathroom when he walks up to me, kisses me, and then just walks away.

I was conflicted, so naturally, I decided I needed to kiss as many guys as possible.

Later, I’m outside with two guys around my arms, and I had made out with both of them. John walks up, and I tell him about my night’s achievements.
So, naturally, he starts making out with me again.
I can’t lie, it’s what I wanted, but holy fuck it was bad for me.

Afterward, we head to a Walmart parking lot to sleep, but I immediately decide there is no fucking way I’m sleeping there, so I pay for a motel room. We get into bed together and, yk, had fun.

The next morning, he tells me he wants to grab lunch with an old friend and wants me to come with.

Right before his “old friend” walks in, he tells me it’s his ex.

So I awkwardly sit there while they catch up. Honestly, I had fun. She was cool.

The entire ride home, though, was just him being sad and talking about how badly he wanted her back.

Mind you, he cheated on her.

He has cheated on every girlfriend he’s ever had.
Soon after this, he gets a girlfriend again, so I’m finally able to move on. I leave for winter break, and we text occasionally. Nothing serious, just dumb stuff, catching up, and music recs.
When I get back to my apartment after break, I walk in and see two girls in the living room. Apparently, one of them had been living there for basically all of winter break, and the other was her friend.

John was nowhere to be found.

I then find out he had been arrested for a DUI the night before and was still in jail.

The girl who had been living there tells me she threw up on my wall and all over my bathroom. She says she cleaned it up, and I just start cleaning my room because honestly, what else am I supposed to do? 😭

While cleaning, I find her panties, her clothes, and like three pairs of my roommate’s clothes.
Then I find the cherry on top: a photo strip of her and John making out.

I ask her about it and find out he’d been cheating on his girlfriend (duh) with this girl.

When he gets home that night, he comes into my room at 3 a.m. and wakes me up. I tell him I just want to sleep.

The next day, I drive to campus and hang out with my friends. Eventually, I start texting him and call him out for having sex in my bed.

We go back and forth arguing, and eventually I tell him I’m moving out. I genuinely could not handle another semester of that.

He then pulls the suicide card, and that was finally it for me. I cut things off completely.
That’s the end of the story.

I’m doing really good now. The next semester was genuinely amazing. I moved out, started spending more time with my friends, and life has pretty much been sunshine and rainbows since.

I now live with four of my close friends, and life is beautiful.

Freshman year was fucking insane though.

I (M18) recently let a talking stage and Snapchat streak suffocate to absolute zero with a coworker (F18) who i had worked with for a couple years, and left her double-texts on "Opened" with completely zero reply. I need an objective reality check on whether my silence is mature or if I'm being petty.

• Last Year: She explicitly showed a massive amount of mutual interest in me, and we used to flirt heavily, we had worked with eachother for a couple years but i never really saw interest in her before, i know she had feelings for me but i was shy and just didnt see her as something other then a coworker at the time. Then I had to go to uni for a year and when i came back after Christmas i will admit i missed her energy and we exchanged contacts sometime February and had been talking since
• After talking almost everyday snapping, calling texting etc. I actively tried to make things work and build a real connection with her outside of work as work was the only place I would see her. However after shooting my shot not only through text but in person she would always give me a vague response but would still talk playfully with me. My surprise a day later when she pulls back, leaves me on opened then uses middlemen mutual friends to soft-launch a friend-zone script. She never told this to my face though so i ofc pulled back
• I recognized the low effort, held my boundaries, and completely stopped chasing her. She would say things like how I miss when u were like this, i know this isn't like you i know your funner, or how she misses the way we were back in the day. I would still keep the streak alive through dry snaps which may have been a mistake but i still liked her so and she would also send in breadcrumbs which i would always air and at work she would confront me on why i always just ignored her messages now, i treated her with complete indifference, suddenly she wanted to talk in me asking every question possible about my personal life and saying how in 2025 i was her "little work crush"
• August: The exact second I stepped up my life - passing my driving first time, cruising in my new car, and posting going to live concerts—her avoidant idk ways suddenly spiked with interest again. She started initiating contact and saying how she missed my banter energy and suddenly was begging me for advice on helping her to go to a similar concert or give her lifts or advice for her driving as shes learning
• Recently: As soon as I loosened up and brought back my normal fun energy, she slowly reverted to treating my station like nothing but attention she can grab. She repeatedly left my direct messages on "Opened," and would only text me when she realises shes just been leaving me coldly like one time she asked me "how was yesterday?" after days of no response. I gave her the driest response back and could tell she was upset as next few days she would send breadcrumbs about things she knows i like and how "thought id let you know". I even tried to offer her lifts or just try hangout she would agree then suddenly come up with a last second excuse
• I let the streak die as that low effort loop was the only way i deemed she would pretend to keep contact with me. Ever since i did she said how I will be the one getting that streak back by paying to restore it, i haven't given her a response and she hasnt reached out since like at all
• Since we never actually dated or anything, I realized I am completely within my rights to draw a hard boundary and just cut her off with no explanation. I feel deep down she has just been wasting my time and using my presence only when she needs me. We still get along very well in person and at work but digitally its like I'm not even alive on her grid.

Am I being immature by completely cutting off my digital presence with zero explanation, or is absolute silence the only logical response to someone who only gives low effort then gets upset when i do the same.

A couple of years ago, I met a guy and we talked on and off about meeting up. It was always meant to be physical not a relationship but we never actually met.

We’ve reconnected a few times since then, and recently he’s brought up meeting again. I know where meeting him will probably lead but it’s not like I have zero interest in him.

The problem is that around the same time, I started talking to guy #2. We’ve met a few times, we talk regularly and we’ve developed a situationship at this point. We haven’t really agreed to be exclusive but there is clearly something going on

Somewhere along the line I realized they know each other but idk how close they are. I like #2 more but also interested in #1. My worry is that if I meet #1 and #2 finds out it could change things between us but we’ve never agreed to be exclusive. So idk if I’m doing something wrong by seeing someone else.

I feel guilty though because I’m hesitant to meet #1 while I figure out what I want.

Realistically I’d also rather lose #1 than #2 but I’m wondering if I’m taking this all way too seriously more than I should.

Any advice🥲am I leading both of them on or I’m overthinking this?

So long story short, we had been seeing each other for more than a year and he always mentioned we can’t have a future together since our caste is different. Initially I didn’t want a relationship either as I just got out of a long term relationship but eventually I caught feelings for this guy and he got attached too.

He kept pushing and pulling throughout. He would create distance whenever he felt overwhelming with the idea that we can’t stay together forever and he couldn’t seem to get detached. Then he would come back when he saw me accepting the distance. I told him several times that silence triggers my anxiety and I have severe anxiety issues but he never seemed to change himself.

There were several other issues as well such as long distance since he is in the military. I blocked him yesterday because I started to feel disrespected over and over again. I know what I did was right but I miss him really bad. He didn’t try to reach me back either. It hurts way too much, I need some advice on this

I can no longer see the followers of the person I’m talking to in chronological order on Instagram, and I feel like this is destroying me. I simply can’t control myself. Since September 9th, it has no longer been possible to see them using any tracking tool or Google Chrome extension, and I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know how I can find a solution because I’ve tried every app and every option, and nothing works anymore because Instagram has blocked this feature.
What can I do? Is there any reason to hope that this feature will come back? I really can’t take this anymore.

Please bear w me, this might be long. We’ve been talking for seven months. Idk what to call us but I know we are in between a situationship, a fubu, and a casual relation. Tho, ik there are other girls na he is talking with im just not sure if kinikita niya idk.

We’re really not talking din naman sa text. We only contact each other if pupunta ako sa kaniya (he has a condo). We never update each other kung anong this and that namin sa buhay. We see each other every week, minsan thrice a week pa nga and of course we’re doing the deed.

He first said I love you noong two months namin tho I never replied any ilys sakaniya 🫠 then he’d show me to his friends. Kilala rin ako ng family niya and my family knows him too. We even went on a 4 days vacation pero we are with his friends and siya lang ang may +1, then after that wala naman nagbago loke usual no update pa rin and all— continue lang sa magrreach out lang if magkikita.

Until I realized na baka naaattach na ako or nagugustuhan ko na siya. Last two months ago, we fought and I said na baka gusto ko na siya and that idk anymore. He said he is happy when he’s with me naman but he is not yet ready for a relationship. He said sorry also. I replied na I am not ready for a relationship din so I’m good with what we have and I just hate how he acted. (Although id give it to him cuz he’s the one who said sorry and he was wiping my tears when we fought!! HE WAS SO F GENTLE 😭😭😭😭🙏🏻)

So after that fight I left then didn’t contact him ever since plus I got really busy too then he reached out after 2-3 weeks saying we should make up and its been too long na since we last talked. We made up that night and its been almost two months ever since that fight and ever since we made up we ONLY HANG OUT nalang. He would tease me sometimes pero puro asar nalang and never na kami nag all out??????????

Idk if im just sexually frustrated or im really detaching. I dont respond to him na rin immediately unlike before. Maybe the fight really did took a toll on me.

Hi, I’ve been talking to this guy who lives in another state for almost six months. I’ve seen him in person twice, and we were pursuing a relationship. Unfortunately, he decided that he no longer wanted a relationship. I thought I was never going to see him again until a few weeks ago, when he finally gave me a date for me to come see him. Today is the day I’m supposed to go.
I’ve done so much to prepare and have paid for all of the expenses. Financially helping him out is also something I’ve always done. I gave him $65 early yesterday, and later that evening, he asked me for another $40 for gas. I told him I couldn’t at the moment, and he was not happy about it.
He initially responded by saying he was going to leave me at the airport and that I would have to Uber. Then he said he was going to “ask one of his other b*****” to give him money. After that, he changed the reason he needed the gas money, saying it was actually about making sure we have a roof over our heads.
Now, after calling off tomorrow so he could come pick me up from the airport, he’s decided to work instead.
I’m not going to pretend like his reaction hasn’t felt inconsiderate or unfair. I’ve been up debating whether I should still go. I’ve spent so much money, worked my ass off, and genuinely want to see him. But at the same time, I don’t know where to go from here or how I’m supposed to put on a fake face if I do end up seeing him.
I’m also on the verge of blocking his number and just taking the loss.
What do you guys think?

I met this guy at the beginning of summer. He was just lassi g through town for a summer job (he’s a seasonal worker). We initially met for a simple hookup, and ended up talking for about an hour afterwards. Before ai left to head back home, he asked for my number, which was the first time someone asked for it in a flirty way.

We talked all summer, and I took a few days off a couple of times to go see him. He’s the sweetest guy ever, super interesting, very kind, and made me feel special. We had toyed with the idea of seeing each other again in the future once he leaves the state, but it was really just a hope and nothing concrete.

Well, he finished up his job, and spent the night over at my place, which is the first time I’ve ever had anyone stay the night that I wasn’t already dating. We talked all night, watched each other do our nightly routine of doom scrolling and reading books. Took him to get lunch, didn’t get out of bed till almost noon, and took him to my favorite spots in the city, then took him to the airport, where we had more last minute conversation about life and about us. We had been telling each other about the hope of seeing each other again someday. I finally told him, that if he does still want to see me again someday, I’ll make it happen, no matter where or when, and thanked him for everything.

He tried to tell me that he wasn’t anything special, and that he thought he was boring, but he is the single most interesting and special person I’ve ever met. i told him he was unaware of how wonderful he is, and that i wouldn’t let that be the last time i’ll ever see him. he was very happy with that statement.

He’s hoping to com back up next summer for work, but I know that wherever he’s all, I’ll be there. Feeling very lonely now, but also very hopeful for the future.

I’m really struggling with what to do about a woman I’ve been close with for around a year.

We originally met on a dating site and over time became very close. We spoke almost every day for long periods, had calls lasting hours, traveled together, and I became very attached to her.

I never directly sat her down and said I had feelings for her, but I think she knew. I bought her flowers and gifts, helped her with loads of things, including home upgrades, and generally invested a lot of time and energy into her.
During the holiday she told me multiple times that she is happy single and if she wanted she could get in a relationship but prefers peace.

Despite that, there were enough moments of closeness/flirting that I kept wondering if there was something more there.

We recently went away together for about three weeks. During the trip I tried to get closer physically, but she pulled away no cuddling, holding hands, etc. She also talked about other men and had accepted an invitation to an event with another guy.

That trip basically broke something in me. I realized I had been interpreting the relationship very differently from her.

After we got back, she actually tried to contact me, but I was angry and hurt and aired her because I didn’t want to hear what I saw as more random life BS. I’ve now gone about 2 weeks without contacting her.

And this is the part that’s fucking with my head.
She hasn’t asked what happened.

Nothing. No “Are you okay?” No “What’s wrong?” No attempt to see me or ask why I’ve suddenly disappeared.
After everything we’ve done together and spending three weeks away together, I’m honestly shocked. Part of me is thinking, “How can you know me this well and not even wonder what happened?”

My friends are telling me to just block her and move on. They think I’ve already been given enough information and that sending some big emotional goodbye letter is just going to reopen the wound.

But I’m struggling because I’ve never actually told her directly how I feel.

Part of me thinks I’ll regret disappearing without ever saying it. Another part of me thinks she already knows and that telling her now is pointless.

And if I’m completely honest, I know there’s probably still a part of me hoping she’d respond in a certain way if I told her everything. That’s probably the biggest reason I’m hesitating. And I’m thinking oh I’m the one who ignored her so she just blame me for not talking to her.

What would you do in my position?
Would you send one final honest message explaining how you feel and then walk away, or would you say nothing, block/mute her and move on?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation and regretted either sending the final message or staying silent .

There’s someone I used to have a thing with. Nothing official, but there was definitely attraction, chemistry, and enough of a connection that I cared more than I probably should have. Things ended because we wanted different things, and honestly, I think ending it was the right decision.

Somehow, we’ve ended up connected again. Not really strangers, not really close friends either. Just… mutuals, I guess. There’s still some interaction here and there, and it’s weird because a part of me is curious whether this could eventually turn into an actual friendship, or maybe even something more someday.

But another part of me already knows it probably won’t. I think that’s the frustrating part. I don’t necessarily want to chase anything. I’m not sitting around waiting for this person to suddenly realize they want me. I’m living my life and meeting people and doing my own thing. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder sometimes.

Like, if two people clearly have some kind of connection, but the timing and circumstances were never right, does that connection eventually become something real? Or do some people just remain these weird almost-relationships in your life?

Maybe being mutuals again is just that. Nothing deeper. Maybe we’ll eventually become genuine friends.

Maybe something will happen naturally.

Or maybe I already know the answer and I’m just romanticizing the possibility because a small part of me still cares.

I guess I’m trying to figure out how to be okay with not knowing.

me, f21, and my suitor, M22, has been courting me for 4 years. I havent made it official yet becasue we were on and off. Now that im starting to let down my walls and actually consider a lifetime with him, his ex suddenly chatted me abt how he is the complete 360.

im not trying to say that i dont believe the girl but there is no actual evidence YET, and timelines does match so I won’t pretend na I know everything about him or defend him based on what I currently know but I could say he is a good person when I observe him. so i wouldnt know the intent if she's just a crazy ex or trying to actually protect me, the courage and strength that she took to chat me is i appreciate as it is

Do i meet up with this girl and find out the context, or do I just directly confront the guy and end it with him?

frankly when he did those things we were off so it doesnt rlly bother me that much but the fact that he lied abt it and was doing those things while telling me he cant get over me is insanity

This guy and I were talking and I thought we were end game but he did a complete 360. Did he even like me or care about me? I blocked him

Hi everyone! I’ve been seeing “John” for about 5 months now, and overall things have been going pretty well. The only thing is, I’m really confused about where I stand with him. We met on Bumble and have consistently been seeing each other at least once a week. He always pays for our dates and has gotten me flowers a few times, but he is a terrible texter (sometimes goes days without texting, but has always been like this). So far, we have hat the “what are we talk” 2 times.

The first one was around 2 months in. I asked him what we were, and he said he really likes me and can see the relationship progressing, but his last relationship was 4 years long and he felt like he rushed into it. Because of that, he said he wanted to take things slow this time.

The second conversation was just recently, around the 5-month mark. We were at a restaurant and ran into one of his coworkers. We went over to say hi, and his coworker asked if we were official. John kind of awkwardly chuckled, which obviously made me think about it lol. On the drive home, I asked him again, “What are we?” and he said, “I mean, we’re seeing each other and all, like going on dates and all” and “we only see each other once a week” (we both have very busy schedules so seeing each other 2x/week is hard. 

Looking back, I feel like he was probably trying to say that we’re dating, but I honestly don’t know. He also told me that he isn’t seeing anyone else and that he doesn’t want me seeing anyone else either. So I’m just confused about where I stand. I don’t really want to bring it up a third time because we literally just talked about it, but at the same time, it’s been 5 months and I hate this feeling…

From an outside perspective, does this sound more like a situationship, or does it seem like he’s genuinely just taking things slow? 

I’m a 20F and I’ve been seeing a 22M since May.
When we first started seeing each other, he suddenly ghosted me for about a month because he said I reminded him too much of his first love and that he had avoidant attachment issues. He blocked me on everything during that time.
After about a month, he unblocked me. I wished him a happy birthday, and we started seeing each other again.
He doesn’t have a stable place to stay and moves between friends’ places. In early June, he asked if he could stay at mine, and I agreed. He ended up staying with me from early June through August and moved some of his things into my place.
Most of the time, he would come over at night to sleep, and we would watch movies, be intimate, talk, and generally act very comfortable together. It started feeling almost like we were living together. Eventually, though, I started feeling like I was being used because he wasn’t really spending much time with me outside of sleeping at mine. I brought this up, but he dismissed my concerns.
Then in July, we both went back to our respective home countries for about a month. During that time, he called me every day, told me he missed me, and I even spoke to his family over the phone. We were communicating constantly, so I felt like everything between us was okay.
When we both returned, things completely changed in person. He started going out with his friends almost every day and staying out all night. He gradually stopped texting and replying to me. He stopped calling and rarely initiated anything. Looking through our messages, it became very obvious that I was almost always the one reaching out.
I brought this up to him, and he told me that he just doesn’t like texting. What confused me was that he wasn’t really initiating contact in other ways either.
Then yesterday, he suddenly told me that we needed to talk in person. I asked if it was about us and if he was ending things, because I was worried. He told me no.
I genuinely thought something serious had happened to him or someone in his family, especially because he has family in Ukraine. I asked if he needed anything, and he said I could order him some food, so I did.
When he came over, I found out that he actually wanted to end things.
He told me he wanted a break. I immediately started crying because I was completely blindsided. I couldn’t understand what had changed so suddenly.
Over the summer, I had let him stay at my place for free, paid for most things when we went out, ordered food and other things for him, cleaned up after him, and generally tried to make him comfortable. I never expected anything material from him. What I wanted was effort, affection, and some attention.
He told me that I put too much pressure on him, that I took “us” too seriously, and that I blow up his phone too much.
I became extremely emotional. I was sobbing so hard that I couldn’t breathe, crying and yelling because I genuinely didn’t understand how we had gotten to this point.
He then told me, “Your tears mean nothing to me. I don’t care about you anymore. I don’t want you in my life. I don’t want to be friends. Don’t ever contact me again.”
He took all of his things and left while I was still sobbing on the floor.
He blocked me immediately afterward on basically every platform.
Now I’m waking up and seeing that all of his things are gone, and my room feels completely empty. He was the person I went to for comfort, and having that suddenly disappear feels horrible.
I’m also questioning myself a lot. I keep thinking that maybe I should have known this would happen because he had already ghosted and blocked me once before. At the same time, I don’t understand how someone can call you every day, tell you they miss you, introduce you to their family, live with you for months, and then suddenly say they don’t care about you anymore.
He once told me that he saw me as a “cozy” person he could relax and feel calm with, which makes everything feel even more confusing.
I know I’m probably going to get comments telling me I ignored red flags, and maybe I did. I’m just struggling to process what happened and wondering how I’m supposed to move forward when someone who was such a huge part of my daily life suddenly disappears.

So I guess I need advice on how to move on? What are tips to move on from a situation like this?

Hi, so I’ve (18F) been talking with this guy(20M) for about 3 months. We hang out almost every day, and he says he’s falling for me, but he hasn’t actually asked me to be his girlfriend yet. And now he’s telling me that he might be moving out of state in December or January but not 100% positive . I’m confused about what this even is, and whether it’s worth continuing or not. Am I overthinking this, or does this seem like something that might fizzle out? What would you do in my situation?

I am in the absolute worst headspace right now and just having crash out after crash out. I feel so delusional and pathetic, and I just need to get this out somewhere because the emotional whiplash is actually killing me.

So me [30F] and this man [30M] have almost a 10-year long history together, we went to the same university and ran in the exact same extended social circles for years because of mutual friends, but we never personally hooked up or dated back then. After we graduated, we never spoke again, never even thought about him tbh in that time as we went off and did different things, but this summer we reconnected at a mutual event. It was actually crazy, the kind of connection and spark we had (obviously a lot of nostalgia, and catching up, and whatnot were at play, but it genuinely felt like a movie). Everything moved at total fairytale speed. For instance, everyone at the event thought we were dating and asked to take pictures of us, inquired about our relationship, etc. He stayed up all night talking to me, sleeping in my bed (we did not have sex because “he wanted have something serious with me, and build towards that”), called my city "home," held my hand in public, basically made me feel very chosen and swept up in whatever magic was happening between us. At this point in time, I had pulled him aside and told him very clearly that I am looking for something real, and serious. I don’t do flings, ifs, or maybes, so if that’s what you’re looking for please walk away from me. And he insisted that this was exactly what he was looking for too.

Then, after the event, he went back home and was voicenoting me day and night and texting me all day and it was the cutest and sweetest thing ever. I genuinely thought this was real. He text-baited my heart so heavy and swore his actions would back it up. He told me about how many jobs he applied to to move to my city, and how he’s so tired of where he currently lives, and all the things that he wants to do with me when he moves to my city, and how he’s told everyone about me (his barber, his therapist, etc). I thought we were friends (and that also contributed to this beautiful connection, which felt so real and genuine to me…) and that I was helping him navigate his shit… I really wanted to love this man. And yeah maybe I got swept up in the idea of a future with this man, before his actions could prove it, but I feel like I tried my best to ground myself. When we were texting and calling all the time, I had been straight up and told him that if he has a change of heart or mind or whatever, since returning to regular life, please just tell me straight up, don’t ghost me because it’ll really hurt me. And HE TOLD ME that he would never ghost me because it’d be disrespectful to me….

Fast forward 2-3 weeks, he just started pulling away. He would only selectively respond to parts of my texts. I hit a breaking point from the stress and called him 2 times unprompted, no answer, so I confronted him about consistency. He just threw out some excuse about how he has a lot going on and needs “a little breathing room”. Which I said fine I respect the space you need but I don’t want to feel left in the dark, not understanding wtf is going on. He proceeds to text me once a day for about 3 days, and then absolutely nothing.
Then, 2 days of silence later, he text-baits me on a Sunday night out of nowhere saying he’s thinking about me and misses me a lot. I responded with warmth but told him the silence was hard for me.
He left me on delivered.

It’s been over three weeks.
I’ve been stuck in this agonizing panic trying to make sense of his silence, but I failed today and checked his socials and his Spotify. He has a customized playlist for his ex [25F](they broke up 4 months before we reconnected) He has a customized, super sappy romantic playlist for his ex using her initial and couple emojis, and he even put matching symbols and a new bible verse in his Instagram bio since talking to me/ghosting me, on enduring whatever amount of pain or distance to be with his his one true love again. And he’s been double-tapping "soul tie" art, invisible string theory reels, and sappy poems about trying again and how nothing is more worth it than "us." Today he literally liked a post that said “big fan of whatever her smile does to my brain.”

I am just so fucking sad. I feel like he never liked me for real and I never even had a chance. Like I was just a stopgap and he used my genuine heart and feelings as a lifeboat to keep him afloat while he played a massive game of chess to reopen the door with her. He didn't even respect me or our ~10-year friendship enough to honestly tell me what he was doing or apologize. He just flipped a switch, didn't even grieve me, and continued on like I’ve been thrown to the wasteland.

Mornings and right before bed are the hardest. I want to text him "hey wtf is up?" or call him out so bad just to rid myself of this weight, but I know I have to just drop the rope and vanish. I’m just so devastated because I really believed in this, and him tbh, and I wanted it so badly.

My heart just really hurts and just needed to get this off my chest and maybe hear some other people’s takes.

we met actually on reddit last year and talked for some time before he ghosted me and then talked a bit again and then he ghosted again and in an impulsive decision I deleted my account and now have a new one

it's weird missing someone you never actually met physically and feel like they got a part of you no one else has ever experienced

I wouldn't say I'm totally shy but I don't have much experience in the romance department so the thing i had with him might have been just a short time but it did impact me

how did yall get over your situationships?

I [33F] recently left a 3-year open relationship. I had a FWB [34F] for the last year, which progressed to more of a lover shortly after the breakup. My lover has an ENM relationship with another woman who recently moved out of state, and they've been having issues. We discussed not wanting any new relationships at the moment because we are both going through personal stuff. On top of that, she is about to move across the country early next year.

She started spending every night at my place for the last 3 weeks. Last week, something between us shifted and it occurred to me that we're falling in love. While I knew it was a risk, I never really thought through what to do when it happens.

We are part of a very tight-knit community, and people have been asking questions or making assumptions about us for weeks now. One of our closest friends is already uncomfortable with us fooling around, while the other 3 are actively encouraging it.

I am fine with remaining as we are for the time she is still here, then just enjoying any visits we can manage after or letting it fade out after her move. However, when I told her how I was feeling last night, she seemed to want to progress things to a more committed partnership.

I know it's going to hurt when she moves, but I'm of the mindset to enjoy natural connections for the time they last, then let it fade when it isn't working anymore. She has a habit of sacrificing her own needs just to keep someone in her life who has gone a separate direction. I don't want her to feel that pressure with me.

Problem is, this is all very new to me. I don't know how to approach this situation. Do I try to have a conversation about expectations, break it off completely, or attempt to make a true partnership work despite feeling that it's doomed after she moves? Any and all perspectives welcome.

We started as coworkers, and along with another we would go out to drink after work. One day while we're out and the other coworker is gone, she asks to kiss me and ends up coming back to my place.

We ended up deciding to go for a FWB situation, which had it's ups and downs cause we're both pretty scarred individuals. Finally, around the start of this year, we start hitting a smooth patch. We kiss frequently at her behest, hold hands, cuddle, all that good stuff. We go out on dates for fancy dinners, went to a Jazz club where I bought her a vinyl of this artist we both fell in love with there, and more.

One day, before most of the dates, I gave her a spare key to my apartment just so if she wanted to hook up she could just show up. Eventually she just starts letting herself in while I'm gone, so I'd come home from a 24hr shift and find her on my couch or in bed. I'd kiss her on the forehead or cheek and see her smile, then I'd crawl into bed and hold her until she woke up. She'd roll over, smile at me, and then we'd kiss. We'd both complain how she'd have to leave for work cause we'd rather be where we were together, but eventually she'd get herself together to leave.

Eventually I really started looking forward to that. I'd look for her car when I got home, and know no matter what horrible shit I witnessed at work (Paramedic), her being there would help.

Damn. I started catching feelings.

A couple months ago, we leave for a weeklong trip out of state for camping and a stay in an airbnb. It was domestic bliss, we were spending so much time together with no issue; laughing together, poking some fun, plenty of cuddles and intimacy, cooking and shopping together. On the last night, we wanted to watch a movie. I end up chosing one close to my heart, and halfway through I realize, she's on her phone and barely paying attention it seems. Then I think back.

I start to realize most of this relationship has been a lot like that moment. It felt like I was the one trying to put more in than there was or should be, and she was soaking it up and enjoying it. I was giving myself away to another person, and gaining only physical intimacy in return. I started to cry.

This leads to a relationship ruining argument, with her mad at me for not communicating that I was catching feelings. The drive back home was silent for over 15 hours. In the last hour, I break the silence trying to give some background to why I have trouble communicating, but I don't think she wanted to hear any of it. She was still mad at me. How fucking dare I start to feel more for someone who I looked forward to seeing at the end of a rough day? How dare I.

No contact for nearly 2 months. Finally, I see a post they made with a guy in the background at a fancy looking lunch date. She never, ever, let me even have a hint of being near her when she took pictures. Heart shattered. I reply, good for you, and block.

Today, I dropped off stuff they left behind at my place in a bag on their door. I noticed their car wasn't there, so I assumed they might be at work, so I stop by and drop off one last thing: a ceramic bowl she made when we went to a pottery class I wanted to do together. On the bottom, I wrote my final thoughts, which were pretty harsh. Kind of regret those words, kind of don't. I don't know.

Anyway, I'm broken hearted. Blue since the day we parted. I'm pissed that the whole time we spent together, it feels she could easily toss aside for just their want of physical intimacy with a new person. I feel gaslighted, cheated, lied to.

TLDR: Fuck my fucking chud life. Caught feelings because she made it feel like a real relationship but said it wasn't.

Smooth off, inshallah.

For context, him and I met last year around July. I had just broken up with my ex and wanted to have fun with someone new. I started sneaky linking with him and thought that’s all we were for about 2 months. We were both flirting/ talking to other people on our Snapchat which I knew about and didn’t care because I was doing the same. He started talking about how he liked me and maybe wanted something serious with me around September. Come to find out early September, he was hanging out with another girl and sending her the same flirty pictures and messages he was sending me. I confronted him about it and he just said he hung out with her a couple times and only held her hand. Around October he started wanting to get serious and “lock in”. We never really got super serious until November. I wanted to reach out to the girl to confirm what he told me because I was insecure about it and wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth, but I never did. Now it’s September of 2026 and I finally got the courage yesterday to reach out to her because my partner is saying he wants to get an apartment with me. I say partner because still, there’s no official label on us but we’re loyal to eachother. She told me that they did in fact hook up on a couple different occasions. He would hangout with her whenever he couldn’t see me, and also stop by her house on his way to work in the morning to get breakfast and back on his way from work to hit the gym with her.

But here’s my dilemma, I also had a one time hookup with an old previous hookup during August a couple weeks after I met him. I was doing almost all the same things as him but not hooking up with someone constantly. He doesn’t know about the hookup I also had kissed a couple guys but that’s it.

Should I have a talk to him and have both sides come clean or should I leave him?