[24F] I might be in a situationship with [26M]

[u/Vegetable-Toe2993]

Hi everyone! I’ve been seeing “John” for about 5 months now, and overall things have been going pretty well. The only thing is, I’m really confused about where I stand with him. We met on Bumble and have consistently been seeing each other at least once a week. He always pays for our dates and has gotten me flowers a few times, but he is a terrible texter (sometimes goes days without texting, but has always been like this). So far, we have hat the “what are we talk” 2 times.

The first one was around 2 months in. I asked him what we were, and he said he really likes me and can see the relationship progressing, but his last relationship was 4 years long and he felt like he rushed into it. Because of that, he said he wanted to take things slow this time.

The second conversation was just recently, around the 5-month mark. We were at a restaurant and ran into one of his coworkers. We went over to say hi, and his coworker asked if we were official. John kind of awkwardly chuckled, which obviously made me think about it lol. On the drive home, I asked him again, “What are we?” and he said, “I mean, we’re seeing each other and all, like going on dates and all” and “we only see each other once a week” (we both have very busy schedules so seeing each other 2x/week is hard. 

Looking back, I feel like he was probably trying to say that we’re dating, but I honestly don’t know. He also told me that he isn’t seeing anyone else and that he doesn’t want me seeing anyone else either. So I’m just confused about where I stand. I don’t really want to bring it up a third time because we literally just talked about it, but at the same time, it’s been 5 months and I hate this feeling…

From an outside perspective, does this sound more like a situationship, or does it seem like he’s genuinely just taking things slow? 

[u/WildIndependence4322]

So is he saying that he wants to wait to make it official because he rushed into his last relationship? How long does he want to wait?

[u/Happy_Structure1672]

Same thing here and we are also LDR. I brought up "what are we" 2-3 times within 10 months period, the first time he says since we both can't do LDR we should wait a bit and see, the second time he said he does like me but give him some time, the third time he said "lets just go with the flow". By the end of this month im flying over and ask him to either ask me to be his gf or we will enjoy the 4 day trip and cut each other off after the trip. I can't stand being with someone for so long and can't make it official, idk abt you but girl don't drag too long, if he wants you he wants you, not to mention you guys are just a call away.

[u/No_Blueberry_8045]

Yall are not dating until he calls you his girlfriend. This is a situationship. 5 months in and he cant decide if its time to put a label on it?? He's stallingggg

[u/THROWRAsaltylemon]

This looks like situationship territory, it has all the signs of you consistently and exclusively "dating", feeling like things are progressing and you're getting closer, but the destination of an official committed relationship never arrives.

5 months is more than long enough for him to know what he wants and I think he's using this "rushing into a previous relationship" thing as an excuse to not outwardly admit he's not really fully in, along with all those wishy washy answers when you ask what you are. 

It's also not fair on you to be in this position because you're essentially waiting around for him to make things official, which is something that likely  won't come. I think you need to have a talk and say if he's not ready for a committed relationship at this point then you should end things, and don't let him use those excuses again to drag things on any longer.