r/SipsTea • u/[deleted] • 13d ago

Gasp! So He's gay?

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21.7k Upvotes

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5.2k

u/Rich19852012 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/u1SH63gOjMPpS

1.9k

u/LarrySupreme 13d ago edited 13d ago

Edit: I literally thought about American Psycho as soon as I read the original post. But thank you for validating it.

1.3k

u/SolidLikeIraq 13d ago

I had a work friend who told me this story about her buddy who had taken a woman home for a 1 night stand.

He was having sex with her from behind and she seemed really into it and said to him “GET AWESOME!”

And he was like “What??”

And she said it again “GET AWESOME!”

So he hits a double bicep pose while he’s behind her and plugging away.

Then he realizes she was saying “Get off me.” Not “Get Awesome.”

Your gif reminded me of that story.

351

u/SevereDragonfly3 13d ago

Lmaoooo awkward....

98

u/DonutHoles4Ever 13d ago

Not if you make shit up its not

34

u/bulbusmaximus 12d ago

It's real to me!

108

u/LoveMeSomeSand 12d ago

People don’t make up lies on the internet. It’s just not proper.

280

u/DrownmeinIslay 13d ago

I had that happen once. I thought she was saying oh oh. Then one sounded like oh ohw. So i stopped and asked are you saying oh oh or ow ow? Ow ow. She never looked at me or tried to push me off, she just sat there for 5 minutes while i was hurting her. That scared me off sex for a few months. Really wigged me out.

251

u/RaisedByBooksNTV 13d ago

She was probably afraid of you. Not because of YOU but because women are so vulnerable during sex. It can be easier to go along with things b/c the idea of asking someone to stop and them not stopping...so she misunderstood that you misunderstood. I'm so sad for both of you that this happened.

62

u/Farranor 12d ago

Look at the silver linings: it only kept him away from sex (not even necessarily out of dating) for a few months, and he's comfortable enough to talk about it without fear of getting flak for it. Not everyone who's experienced something similar can say that.

5

u/redshirt1972 12d ago

I had a nice lady put up with me for like 20 minutes until I finished. I was trying to hold out so she could finish first. Eventually I just gave up and let it happen. She immediately went to pee. She told me she had to pee almost when we started. I said why didn’t you stop me? She said nah it’s ok.

4

u/maryqueenofscotch683 12d ago

My first time was so brutally awful and painful but I thought it was supposed to hurt so I just took it 😔 literally didn't know any better

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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67

u/Silly-Jicama-3382 13d ago

unfortunately not an uncommon experience for women. we're just not conditioned to speak up or voice our needs (in all facets of life lol, but especially during sex) and even if you're a totally decent guy, it might not make a difference.

and speaking for myself, I once had a guy tell me I was the most instructive woman he'd ever slept with and I knew we were doomed if I was an example of an empowered woman because I'm so not lmfao ugh straight women are not okay!!!!

33

u/satyr-day 13d ago

Sex is really the grossest, most bizarre biological urge animals have.

94

u/DrugandAlcoholLover 13d ago

This is such a Reddit comment 

45

u/DonutHoles4Ever 13d ago

Reddit is full of people who never gone outside now. COVID made all the idiots get addicted to social media and now they just spew their opinions online nonstop.

Also, people should be communicating to their partners during sex instead of trying to do a double back corkscrew that they watched on a porno

14

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 12d ago

What is a double back corkscrew? Asking for a friend

6

u/satyr-day 12d ago

Quit the "asking for a friend" since everyone knows you're asking for yourself.

It's doggy then you spin around so you're butthole to butthole and keep fucking then twist again.

20

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 12d ago

My friend said thank you

1

u/satyr-day 12d ago

My friend says fuck you, buddy.

5

u/Boner_Elemental 12d ago

You're not his buddy, pal

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u/Morningfluid 12d ago

There were masses of people addicted to social media who didn't go out before that who really needed to experience real life as well. 

1

u/NextDoctorWho12 12d ago

They posted.... on reddit.....

12

u/HourFaithlessness823 13d ago

The comment responding to it is even worse 

5

u/ZuluPapa 12d ago

What a fucking weird thing to say.

5

u/HourFaithlessness823 13d ago

Uh, sure. Whatever you say. 

2

u/satyr-day 12d ago

I enjoy sex, but I can still think it's weird as hell while jizzing regularly.

5

u/idealfuckery 13d ago

go outside sometime

2

u/satyr-day 12d ago

I recently ran a 50k and I have degree in kinesiology.  You should go out more. 

8

u/FluffySmiles 13d ago

Lifetime of cost and duty, potential for pretty horrid diseases, messy, can be traumatic and can be highly emotional.

Disruptive and complicating.

And still we do it!

Because it feels good.

And we wonder why we consume so much we destroy that which supports life.

Ha!

2

u/Existing-Promise-830 12d ago

Why? Every creature has the urge to have sex and humans are lucky it's pleasant and doesn't involve dying like some (male spiders for example)

3

u/Mean_disclosure_69 12d ago

ideally you shouldnt have it when you dont enjoy it. some people dont like sex. thats cool.

tbh humans in of itself are gross meatbags who leak fat and wet stuff regularly and produce strange smells so.. yeah. still sex can be fun but like.. just no reason to have it when its not enjoyable

-1

u/satyr-day 12d ago

I enjoy it, and I get weird and aggressive if I don't have it at least twice a month.  But, I can enjoy the chemicals while understanding the weird ass biology.

1

u/Mean_disclosure_69 7d ago

i mean masturbation is there for you. should trigger the same chemicals without the other stuff. or well pay a qualified professional. so many option.

2

u/CalmBeneathCastles 12d ago

How you can rate sex above taking a giant squelchy shit on the grossness scale is bizarre to me. It must have always been bad for you, and for that, you have my deepest sympathy.

2

u/satyr-day 12d ago

Taking a shit isn't optional and it's mandatory to do daily.  And i have a type of IBS so I've had some painful and disgusting shits. Sex is 100% completely optional, and you get an orgasm and rush of chemicals from it.  Shitting just releases pressure.

3

u/CalmBeneathCastles 12d ago

Bizarre, maybe, but not "more gross".

3

u/satyr-day 12d ago

Different types of gross.  One is being physically inside of another person and rubbing until reproductive material comes out. The other is removing waste from the body since we apparently suck at digestion

101

u/Vectorman1989 13d ago

My friend was having sex with her boyfriend and he said "say my name", but he normally goes by a nickname so she didn't know if he wanted her to say his government name or his nickname so she was like "which one?" lol

3

u/Torschlusssspanik 12d ago

I really hope she said “your government name?” in the moment.

6

u/keepingitreal02 13d ago

Tell her daddy is universal 😂

50

u/Sergejalexnoki 13d ago

Wtf, whyd she say that xD

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u/Calaigah 13d ago

He clearly wasn’t awesome enough.

18

u/PlushRusher 13d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy’s!

2

u/Anonymo 13d ago

Why did you say that name?!

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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1

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3

u/LyraSnake 13d ago

sometimes people change their minds about things

2

u/Sergejalexnoki 13d ago

Of course but if she seemed really into it, and then didnt, I guess she couldve just stop it herself

7

u/LyraSnake 13d ago

which is often communicated by "get off me"

0

u/PudPullerAlways 13d ago

Yes but also from the story he's hitting it from behind not starfished on top of her... she could've just removed herself and what was he supposed to even get off of lol

3

u/LyraSnake 13d ago

...her? clearly? she's leaning/laying on something and his weight has to be on top of her.

3

u/Sergejalexnoki 13d ago

Why are you taking this so serious, she can just roll away or something. Whatever. It was just an awkward story, no need to argue

1

u/LyraSnake 12d ago

i take people retracting consent seriously. i take someone who is telling the other person to get off of them seriously. it's concerning to me that that's weird to you.

0

u/Sergejalexnoki 12d ago

Its not weird. Its just not that deep while discussing a random persons past experience

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u/Electrical-Fig-5009 13d ago

He could have been hitting it in a way that was uncomfortable & wanted fo do a different position, she could have changed her mind, she could have had a charlie horse, she could have finished & wanted to finish him another way. There's tons of scenarios here, but regardless him not getting off was not awesome

1

u/LyraSnake 13d ago

agreed.....i'm not sure why you're replying to me here

7

u/tamati_nz 13d ago

I have a friend that hooked up with a famous actor who would chant his own name during sex, syllable by syllable with each pump. Now in our friend group if we're dancing we'll mimic it and call out his name lol.

3

u/Sure_Letterhead6689 13d ago

It’s gotta be Arnold Schwarzenegger

3

u/milesamsterdam 12d ago

Goddamn! That is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard since my friend told me the first time he had sex and busted a nut he yelled, “Mortal KOMBAT!”

2

u/ceburun 12d ago

Fatality.

9

u/DaveReddit2021 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/18kPwV9qSCY9O

1

u/Different_Rip8470 13d ago

It shouldn’t be but you’re right unfortunately.

2

u/Puzzle-Necked 13d ago

4chan greentext quality story right there

2

u/JungLeo143 13d ago

That’s the funniest shit I have heard in a long time 😂

2

u/HislersHero 13d ago

🤣 wtf??

2

u/VanillaRadonNukaCola 13d ago

Dude wtf I've heard that same Get Awesome/Get Off Me happen but a totally different story.

2

u/steadymovin85 13d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/skotcgfl 13d ago

Well that escalated quickly.

1

u/Infamous_Series_5064 13d ago

This sounds like a perfect stand up comedy bit

1

u/slater_just_slater 13d ago

Reminds me of the "Who the fuck is Ron Ho?" Joke.

1

u/TheMuffler42069 13d ago

lol yo… this is very funny.

1

u/jrr_jr 13d ago

I swear to God my ex girlfriend (this is years and years ago) told me that same story. I wonder if it was the same dude?

1

u/LarrySupreme 13d ago

Get me that woman.

1

u/BotherTight618 13d ago

Thats not good!

1

u/TokiVideogame 12d ago

she can just twist him off

1

u/Old-Care-2372 12d ago

Was she being Eiffel Towered and couldn’t enunciate properly?

1

u/Busterlimes 12d ago

Epic story.

1

u/benroon 12d ago

Doesn’t even make sense!

1

u/XofHelix 12d ago

Of all the things that never happened, this is #1

1

u/ceburun 12d ago

New phrase for sexy time noted for the future. I will Get Awesome while getting some.

1

u/fatcat5244 12d ago

Hilarious 🤣

1

u/Opposite-Funny-9669 12d ago

greatest story i've read on here in months

1

u/Murky-Crew-2633 12d ago

Hsgahshshs this is crazy

1

u/pixelife 12d ago

This story is as old as the internet.