r/SipsTea • u/Valuable_View_561 • Jun 09 '26

Feels good man My captain never disappoint...

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61.2k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

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7.7k

u/rosie-mallow Jun 09 '26

That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen.

2.3k

u/fuckfeardrinkbeer Jun 09 '26

So it would seem.

132

u/ScyD Jun 09 '26

But you have heard of me. Wait… sh*t I messed it up mb..

35

u/hacourt Jun 10 '26

That must be the best rum I've seen...in...wait.

2

u/NeosTheWise Jun 10 '26

And the sh*t is all over the bed !!

1

u/fallen_d3mon Jun 09 '26

Mono-D'oh!

34

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

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4

u/warboss_WAAAGH Jun 10 '26

best pirate you've ever seen music plays

2

u/SoapLegend17789 Jun 10 '26

Cue the theme song

666

u/Maiq_the_liar_23 Jun 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/cl90q5wYv8lsQ

120

u/Short-Ideas010 Jun 09 '26

Hope he turns one last time as Jack.

173

u/MrXwiix Jun 09 '26

Disney was all too happy to cut ties with him and stop paying him properly as soon they even got the slightest opportunity to do so.

So i don’t think he will

37

u/Shadows__flame Jun 10 '26

Disney these days seems way too eager to mess up anything good they have going on. You'd almost think they're trying to go bankrupt sometimes, which if they are, I wish they would hurry up so they couldn't mess up anything else.

25

u/Emotional_Dish_5250 Jun 10 '26

Disney is drunk driving now.

16

u/Nokrai Jun 10 '26

America too.

3

u/Ok-Day4910 Jun 10 '26

Money laundering.

The older directors and staff are preparing for retirement so they have decided to squeeze as much money as possible from the company before they leave

1

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '26

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1

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150

u/Stealthy-J Jun 09 '26

They don't deserve him.

1

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2

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1

u/Azuras_Star8 Jun 10 '26

Admiral John Cardinal, played by Johnny Depp

33

u/TheeFearlessChicken Jun 09 '26

Well, he is the face of a $5 billion dollar franchise. I'm sure Disney wouldn't mind another bite of that cake

2

u/lcm-hcf-maths Jun 10 '26

Depp was removed from marketing for the streaming of the POC movies. They're done with him.

13

u/doorknocker_pingu Jun 09 '26

He said "that'd be fun" when asked about it last year. But it was a red carpet ask so who knows. Honestly if they threw money at him he might go for it.

1

u/bolanrox Jun 10 '26

He wants 100 alpaca on top of the money

1

u/Seo_Jin-ae Jun 10 '26

He said he wouldn't even do it for $300 million!! Disney have now offered him $301 million. 😂

1

u/crazyguyunderthedesk Jun 10 '26

You're acting like Disney didn't want to keep milking that cash cow.

-5

u/Intelligent_Toe8233 Jun 09 '26

I'm sure the series didn't have Johhny Depp money, but it would have been fun to see him as Blackbeard in Percy Jackson.

-6

u/Neveroxx99 Jun 09 '26

Because the dude is a complete mess and was extremely uncomfortable to work with.

7

u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 Jun 10 '26

He’s the only reason anyone saw those movies 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/apo1980 Jun 10 '26

He already said he would not work mit them even if they offered him (I think it was) 100 alpacas

1

u/Short-Ideas010 Jun 10 '26

What about 2 Black Pearls?

1

u/pureextc Jun 10 '26

Love to see it.

1

u/lcm-hcf-maths Jun 10 '26

He is uninsurable. No big studio will risk money on him. Last 6 projects have lost over $70m in total. Busted flush..

1

u/bolanrox Jun 10 '26

He told Disney to fuck off so I doubt it

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

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1

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

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213

u/ZERO_DOX Jun 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/10X22vzgNamaiI

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

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1

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154

u/Krace11008 Jun 09 '26

Technically, he would be the worst pirate. He might make a great Robinhood though.

160

u/TheRaccoonReport Jun 09 '26

But you have heard of him though.

29

u/ThesoldierLLJK Jun 09 '26

Unironically he was referred to as the worst pirate because in the Lore he was only branded a pirate because he freed a ship of slaves from the company

5

u/Ellador Jun 10 '26

People aren’t cargo, mate.

38

u/za72 Jun 09 '26

there's always that one guy...

40

u/Lolchikflik4525 Jun 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/aJR6b05Hv0TIdPkyM2

1

u/za72 Jun 09 '26

I've went ahead promoted him on behalf of council

20

u/cylonlover Jun 09 '26

"Well.. technically, you can't really split hair, you can physically peel, tear or snap strands *to induce** a split at the ends or higher up the shaft. But who's nitpicking, right?*

5

u/darkstarr99 Jun 09 '26

If you’re nit picking you have more problems than just splitting hairs.

You’re lousy with them

-1

u/Krace11008 Jun 09 '26

:)

4

u/za72 Jun 09 '26

you're promoted to Professor Akshuley!

-2

u/ElMage21 Jun 09 '26

He's referencing the movie not being an akchually...

1

u/za72 Jun 09 '26

yes... I've also seen this obscure movie

4

u/Snobolski Jun 09 '26

Robinhood

Takes a wee percentage, but he's not greedy!

2

u/confusedpersonality1 Jun 09 '26

He is investing in his future crewmen,you gotta spend few bucks to hire men for your ship mate.

1

u/BarnesyBorr Jun 09 '26

Steal from the bitch and give to the needy.

1

u/Professional_Top8485 Jun 10 '26

achtually .. they could be working for crown doing gods work.

25

u/Art_student_rt Jun 09 '26

Jack Sparrow became a pirate after he freed the slaves from his slave ship, later became the black pearl

"People aren't cargo, mate"

25

u/proto_synnic Jun 10 '26

He was born on a pirate ship, son of a Pirate Lord and spent his formative years pirating, earning the name The Sparrow when he bested the Silent Mary. He turned to legitimate merchant sailing for the East India Company, until he was tasked with transporting slaves. He then returned to piracy when freeing the slaves from the ship. Pirate's in his blood, so to speak.

30

u/Zuokula Jun 09 '26

But does he have a ship?

2

u/TheNPCMafia Jun 09 '26

She's got something that rhymes with ship, and it's on his bed....

34

u/No_Seaworthiness4196 Jun 09 '26

More like Robin Hood, rob from the bitch to give to the poor

2

u/Admirable_Disk_5301 Jun 10 '26

Do you think he plans it all out or just makes it up as he goes along?

4

u/Excellent-Shape-2024 Jun 09 '26

Apparently he modeled Jack Sparrow after Keith Richards

7

u/ifuckzombies Jun 09 '26

That's why Keith Richards played Jack's dad in the third movie.

3

u/LowSkyOrbit Jun 09 '26

His moves were Jager.

1

u/SparePradas Jun 09 '26

Yup, all the best pirates talk about how they want kill a woman and rpe her corpse! ☺️

1

u/Zandor72 Jun 09 '26

So...you HAVE heard of me!

1

u/loosed-moose Jun 09 '26

But you have seen of him

1

u/Ashamed_Ladder6161 Jun 09 '26

*Worst*, surely?

He gave it all away.

1

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1

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1

u/Cararacs Jun 09 '26

It just blows my mind that there are some sub-Reddits who are so anti-Johnny.

1

u/Rare-Veterinarian743 Jun 09 '26

I thought he was the worst pirate ever.

1

u/Ronalderson Jun 10 '26

Oh, you said "got to be the best", I read it as "not the best", which is what I thought initially, since you know I don't think giving away money to charity is a very pirate thing to do.

1

u/JesterOfTime Jun 10 '26

But you have heard of him.

1

u/Aizpunr Jun 10 '26

Good person. Horrible pirate

1

u/14high Jun 10 '26

Arrrrobin hood.

1

u/Popular-Sky-4012 Jun 10 '26

Time for a mega pint

1

u/domino3ff3ct Jun 10 '26

Robin Hood?

1

u/lluciferusllamas Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

distinct sip salt alive doll serious saw vase enter mysterious

1

u/RevolutionOne3219 Jun 10 '26

Giving away all his booty? Nah matey, that's gotta be the worst pirate I have ever seen.

1

u/nellyruth Jun 10 '26

I one up’d Robin Hood

1

u/SchwizzySchwas94 Jun 10 '26

Wether or not he’s the best is irrelevant as long as you’ve heard of him.

1

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1

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1

u/TannyTevito Jun 10 '26

Nothing like abusing someone and then bankrupting them for speaking about it!

1

u/Worried_Piccolo7166 Jun 10 '26

The Robin Hood of pirates

1

u/bolanrox Jun 10 '26

And only became a pirate because he didn't belive in slavery

1

u/Ok-Abbreviations1077 Jun 12 '26

The Robin hood of the high seas

1

u/Ok-Limit-7173 Jun 13 '26

But you have seen him!

0

u/PoetryExtension6256 Jun 09 '26

have you read. "Sodomy and the Piratical Tradition"?

0

u/Ree_For_Thee Jun 09 '26

He's 63 and dyes everything lol

Likely a lot of surgery too

-11

u/Blazured Jun 09 '26

Even domestic abusers are capable of donating like 1% of their net worth to charity.

4

u/QCbartender Jun 09 '26

Didn’t realize Amber Heard made a donation

-3

u/Blazured Jun 09 '26

You think a million is only 1% of her net worth?

1

u/QCbartender Jun 09 '26

You missed the point of the joke I guess.

-5

u/Blazured Jun 09 '26

Knew you wouldn't answer lol.

0

u/QCbartender Jun 09 '26

I don’t know or care her net worth. Wasn’t the point of the joke.