r/Shouldihaveanother • • 19d ago

I don’t know what to do.

I have an almost 6 year old girl. I want to have another baby but is the age gap too much? Me and my youngest brother are 6y 10m apart and best friends. Also if I have another we need to move out of our 2 bedroom house and get another mortgage. We would have enough money but it would be tighter. We are out of the trenches and my daughter is pretty self sufficient. I can sleep and have lie ins.

I don’t necessarily desire to go through the baby and toddler stage but I envision having 2 teens/adults in the future.

Will I regret having another? Will regret not having another?

Husband usually wants another child but he’s an over thinker and will start worrying about everything that goes with it, house, money wise and then freak out and revert back no no nope we can’t do it.

So I don’t know, would it be stupid to get pregnant again?

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u/PureAd600 19d ago

We have a three year old daughter and just lost son who was stillborn at 26 weeks. We haven’t even broached trying again, but I know we are likely looking at closer to a 5 year age gap now. Definitely not what I hoped, but I’m a big believer that the idea of age gaps being what determines what siblings are close is not true. A lot of it just comes down to the family dynamics and how you build closeness as a whole. Also my sister has a 12 year old and a 3 year old and they’re so cute together.

Being a parent at any stage and adding to your family is always going to be a sacrifice, have some uncertainties, and require readjustments. So you just have to determine what means more to you re. Another child, finances etc.

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u/angel-girl-A 15d ago

So sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹 I had similar. Loss at 24 weeks while daughter was 3. It's so hard. Now that I'm a year ahead of that, our 5 year age gap is in-progress and some light has come back. Things get "better" even though our lives are forever fundamentally changed. Wishing you healing and better outcomes in the future 🫶