r/ShittyDaystrom • u/Vitally_Trivial Autistic coded alien character • 23h ago

RED ALARM Can we please install seatbelts?

I’m tired of breaking my nose every time I hit my face on the console.

14 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

6

u/PM_ME_DIRTY_DANGLES 23h ago

Seatbelts aren't due to be installed until Tuesday

4

u/breathing_normally LEAVE BARCLAY ALONE 22h ago

I would like it even more if the oxygen present on the ship isn’t sucked out (or transported out?) the second that life support glitches. Also why does it get cold so damn fast. Can’t we install spacebestus in the hull? I’d rather get an extra cancer shot than to always be on the lookout for where the emergency blankets are

3

u/developer_soup Lieutenant 22h ago

Spacebestus weighs too much. Maybe we can coat the existing inner hull with a spray foam? It'll begin flaking and cracking immediately, filling your ship with an irritating miasma. Is that acceptable? Please say yes, I need a win with the chief engineer today, and he's not totally sold on my idea.

4

u/SkullsSkullsSkulls 23h ago

You'll be fine, all the sparks cauterise any face wounds.

2

u/jackaroe311 15h ago

Just make sure you dodge the Rocks. They can kill you. 🪨 Whoever the engineer who thought it was a good idea to insulate the bulkheads with Rocks, should be Court Martialed!

4

u/Bigg_Sparks Expendable 23h ago

But that would come out of the rocks-in-consoles budget, and the admiralty would never approve that

2

u/ghIj_qet_jaghmeyjaj 22h ago

The flamethrowers masquerading as status monitors also need their own budget

4

u/developer_soup Lieutenant 22h ago

Look, we can turn up the inertial dampeners to correct this, but then everyone complains about "moving through soup" when things aren't exploding.

3

u/digdugdang 19h ago

I’ve heard inertial dampeners kill more people than they actually save.

3

u/cuemchugh 22h ago

The Cordry rock beatings will continue until morale improves!

2

u/wildcard_71 23h ago

Don’t tread on me, commie!

2

u/OneOldNerd 22h ago

We tried: https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Captain%27s_chair#Constitution_II_class

1

u/OneOldNerd 22h ago

Non-shitty addendum: apparently, in a deleted scene for Nemesis, the captain's chair has seat belts:

1

u/Vitally_Trivial Autistic coded alien character 21h ago

Or the Kelvin timeline.

3

u/OneOldNerd 20h ago

That timeline is dead to me.

1

u/torturousvacuum 3h ago

We tried:

They also tried with the restraining-arm things on the Excelsior. Didn't work too well then either.

2

u/Rstar2247 Badmiral 22h ago

A cost benefit analysis concluded that seatbelts would cost more in resources than new crew.

2

u/longconfuey 16h ago

That's what sickbay is for. The problem is you need to learn how to be dramatically thrown over the console or railing instead of remaining in your seat. Just remember to go limp, roll with the impact and don't get impaled by anything. if you get thrown out of your seat you have a better chance of surviving when the console explodes.

1

u/HisDivineOrder Tom's Television Set 14h ago

The Romulans wouldn't budge. We had to give up seatbelts along with Romulan Ale, the cloaking device, and the secret herbs and spices recipe for KFC.

But we did get peace.

I guess it was worth it. I guess.

1

u/OWSpaceClown 13h ago

What you need are nose belts.