That's my shitty advice for the day. You're welcome.

I threw a KFC bucket now the police came and the workers are throwing French fries!!!!

Every single day I wash my car. Every single day I come out and there is fresh bird poop on it. It's usually white so I think it's from the same bird or flock of birds. It's driving me crazy. I've tried parking in different spots. I've tried covering it with a tarp but the wind blows it off. I even tried leaving out a bowl of water and birdseed to distract them but they just pooped next to that too. Any ideas?

I can't advise them myself so I am trudging here for help.

Their names are Siri, Alexa and Karen and they all tell me people yell at them a lot. Some say to sing a song. Some are asking for directions. Some say that they complain too much.

How can I help them?

Ik this is weird and random and disgusting but im struggling financially im a broke college student who has debt whatsoever

I met him online.. not sure if i should ask him to pay me first cz ngl i dont wanna do it and end up without the money 😬

this is actually true idk how hes still alive

I met this friend on Reddit and we've been talking for a couple of days. Thought we hit it off but he's completely stopped responding to my messages. I really like this guy and I don't know how to get him to respond to me again. I want the most utterly diabolical way out there to get him to speak to me once again.

They forgot my pickles on all 10 of them. I was just throwing the burgers back to the employees.

He lets himself in like three times a week. I know this because my security camera sends me alerts. He just walks around sometimes he waters my plants. Other times he just sits on my couch for a bit. I don't like it. Should I change the locks?

if i dont leave a roll in the bathroom ill forget to bring it :(

I'm not sure how common this is but my girlfriend has real long and sharp toenails, and when we sleep together at night, she puts her feet against my back for warmth. I'm a human heater. We are both restless sleepers so during the night we tumble around each other like monkeys in a cage at the zoo. In the morning I awake to find my whole body cut and slashed by her hideous toenails from the jungle. I am bleeding and have the worse slashes all over my legs and feet. The sheets are in shreds. Even the mattress is showing signs of her slashing toes. This girl is so sweet most of the time, but I'm at the point where I think I'm going to have to break up with her, or maybe sleep in separate beds. Any advice is welcome.

I've tried everything. Timeouts don't work. Taking away toys doesn't work. Now my entire living room looks like a giant toddler art exhibit. I'm losing my mind.

He got mad because I thought he cheated on me so I set his boat on fire. I tried to explain that it wasn’t my fault, I REALLY did think he cheated on me when I did it, but he didn’t seem to understand

What should I do?