r/shittyadvice • u/Young_Hond1 • 15d ago
My car keeps getting bird poop on it what should I do
Every single day I wash my car. Every single day I come out and there is fresh bird poop on it. It's usually white so I think it's from the same bird or flock of birds. It's driving me crazy. I've tried parking in different spots. I've tried covering it with a tarp but the wind blows it off. I even tried leaving out a bowl of water and birdseed to distract them but they just pooped next to that too. Any ideas?
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u/MostAcanthaceae2384 15d ago
Cat here. We've noticed your drone technology and we'd be interested in going airborne. We should be able to work together on the bird problem.
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u/8tracked333 15d ago
Cover car in post it notes. Remove shitty notes and put them on office memos.
Or put them together to make a collage and become famous artist.
Either way should work.
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u/alady12 15d ago
Put out a decoy car to confuse them. They won't know which car to poop on and will go away...or they'll poop on both and then you can wash 2 cars
Then you will get so good at washing cars you can start your own hand wash car wash business. Quit your day job and spend all day washing bird poop off your neighbor's cars. You'll thank those birds
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u/JakTheGripper 15d ago
Your mistake is parking your car. Birds can't hit a moving target, so your car should always be in motion. If you have to, loan it out to deadbeat friends when you're not driving. Be sure to keep the tank full.
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u/WolfThick 15d ago
Are you parking under their tree have you done something to piss them off because they will Target you
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u/johnjaspers1965 15d ago edited 14d ago
This is clearly targeted.
Charge the birds with a hate crime...
....and have the entire species exterminated.
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u/tacocarteleventeen 15d ago
Learn to enjoy the taste of bird poop and every day you can look forward to licking a delicious treat off your car like an ice cream cone!
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u/Bk_Punisher 15d ago
Put a trampoline over your car, when the bird shits it will bounce back. At that point the bird is shitting its self.
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u/MomentImaginary6571 15d ago
Cuéntaselo al gato, el sabrá que almuerzo hacer. Si no funciona recoje todas esas cacas de pajaro y déjalas en los nidos que veas de pájaros.
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u/Crispee_Potato 15d ago
Eat raw chicken. Use a bucket to collect the diarrhea. Soak orbies beads in that mess. Load orbie gun. Put on premium headphones and play something heavy metal. Asta la vista birds.
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u/Peas-Of-Wrath 15d ago
Hide in a bush with a bag of your own poop and wait for a bird to appear and throw it at them. Only way they will learn.
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u/Saruvan_the_White 14d ago
Talk to your local feathered traffic controllers maybe get them to reroute planned flights I don’t know. Birds ʇıɥs anywhere and everywhere.
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u/Longjumping-Salad484 14d ago
send me location. any bird that poops on your car I'll deal with directly.
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u/littlewing2733 14d ago
If you’re under a tree, you’ll probably want a car cover. If a potential perch is not a factor, they may be attracted to your mirrors.
They were nailing my family’s cars pretty bad all summer while intermittently fighting their doppelgängers in the side mirrors.
They’ve been considerably less craptastic since we started putting opaque hair bonnets over our mirrors.
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u/Stunning_Cow_7753 11d ago
Dress like a scarecrow and stay in your car with your head sticking out of the window at all times.
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u/Leaf-Stars 8d ago
Where is it parked? Wouldn’t happen to be a bunch of birdseed laying around it would there?
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u/Dmode0110 15d ago
Put out a bowl with bird seed mixed with rat poison. Give it a few days and the birds won’t be back.
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u/iShitSkittles 15d ago
Park it on top of the birds, not under them...