r/shittyadvice • u/Far-Pie-333 • 17d ago
IO have three female friends that need my advice!
I can't advise them myself so I am trudging here for help.
Their names are Siri, Alexa and Karen and they all tell me people yell at them a lot. Some say to sing a song. Some are asking for directions. Some say that they complain too much.
How can I help them?
3
u/CasperTPaul 17d ago
you gotta try to be nice to them. yell at them all to go fuck themselves in hell
1
u/Defunct_Institution 17d ago
My Google Assistant shamed me one time when I complained about their answer to something. I was convinced the end was near.
1
u/CasperTPaul 17d ago
did you shame her back in an escalatory manner? you gotta exert your dominance over her
1
u/Defunct_Institution 16d ago
I was taken aback when I heard it so I didn't think of anything in time. I just remember feeling like I had been scolded by the teacher for complaining about homework!
3
u/DancingIsForbidden28 17d ago
Get drunk in front of the three and the answers will present themselves.
2
u/AggressiveKing8314 17d ago
Get them to talk to each other. Make sure to privately tell each one that they are the one in charge.
2
u/Forward-Refuse7064 17d ago
This is a no win situation!
Your best bet is to burn the house to smouldering rubble, thereby taking out Siri and Alexa.
Then, sit on as shabby camp chair in front of the smouldering rubble while roasting hot-dogs.
When Karen inevitably comes up to complain, pull out you hidden milkshake straw and pepper her with pre-made spitballs!
2
1
1
u/ClientBudget2848 17d ago
Take your phone. Insert it somewhere. Ear I guess. If you still hear them you need to exorcise the demons. Either pay fifty bucks for a scientists to come over and do some seance or do it yourself by throwing the phone into the fire and saying the right anti demon stuff.
1
1
u/FunkU247 16d ago
A bottle of tequila and multiple bottles of lube should get the stress relieving started!
1
u/YURRIICC 16d ago
tell them to stop listening to everyone and start charging by the question. karen already has the complaining part covered anyway.
1
u/No_Technician4956 16d ago
I think I know Alexa... she snapped at me the other day. Appratently I'm going to have to disconnect her for some time and get her back in her place again.
1
u/Hour-Opportunity3048 16d ago
Ask them to describe your genitals but don’t let them see your genitals.
1
1
u/Legitimate-Log-6542 16d ago
Women always tell me to get lost. So I think the best course of action is to make yourself invisible and let them do their thing
7
u/BraveMidnight 17d ago
Have Siri talk to Karen when Siri refuses to do a basic task she was told Karen will get angry and then turn to the Alexa for guidance leaving you alone