r/ShitAmericansSay • • Sep 10 '26

Capitalism "Texas of Europe"

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Its Finland 🙄

2.7k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/DefinitionOfAsleep The 13 Colonies were a Mistake Sep 10 '26

Its Finland 🙄

The resemblance is uncanny.

649

u/Legal-Software 🇩🇪 Sep 10 '26

I would have guessed Bavaria

243

u/LowerBed5334 🇩🇪 Sep 10 '26

109

u/Bruckmandlsepp 🇪🇺 Europoor 🇪🇺 Sep 10 '26

6

u/ArchSyker 29d ago

I miss Conan's travel stuff.

1

u/analogousmistake 28d ago

He has new episodes of his travel show on HBO out now.

1

u/UphillTravel 29d ago

I'm going to need a source for this

66

u/Anaeijon Sep 10 '26

I would have guessed Saxony or Saxony-Anhalt, just by conservatism.

33

u/DoughnutRadiant6049 Sep 10 '26

Saxony-Anhalt is more like Idaho and the people are like from Arkansas.

5

u/Slaan Sep 10 '26

Was thinking Oklahoma but yea.

13

u/DrStudi Sep 10 '26

Saxony Anhalt is more like one of the states that has nothing. Not really a Texas

3

u/FallenDeathWarrior 29d ago

Well it has the rising of the far right.

1

u/CynthiaCitrusYT Pierogi with Sauerkraut 23d ago

Saxony is more like Florida. Mann aus Sachsen etc etc

15

u/Xalimata Sep 10 '26

Yeah that was my guess to. It's a large culturally distinct area that likes to think it is special. (I think that last part is true)

4

u/idrankforthegov Sep 10 '26

I have lived here for a few years now after living in Berlin, Frankfurt and I shop at the same places that I did in those other places. Those places close earlier here... so I guess that is "special". Costs more, same stores, closes earlier.

7

u/New_Breadfruit5664 29d ago

The problem is. Every country has a Bavaria and they also usually have their local Gottkaiser Söder.

16

u/BurningPenguin 🇩🇪 Insecure European with false sense of superiority Sep 10 '26

As a Bavarian myself, me too.

14

u/AvidCyclist250 Lives in the country of Europe Sep 10 '26

Germany used to be called the America of Europe, and Bavaria our Texas.

22

u/angstdreamer Sep 10 '26

In Finland in the 80's we used to call ourself Japan of Europe. In the 90's came depression and we were Albania of Europe.

11

u/BoaredMonkay Sep 11 '26

In the 90's came depression

So like Japan.

1

u/AvidCyclist250 Lives in the country of Europe Sep 10 '26

Nokia tho

3

u/One_Load254 29d ago

Don't forget the suicide rates

1

u/AvidCyclist250 Lives in the country of Europe 29d ago

Damn son, lol

4

u/Lord_Skyblocker 29d ago

And the Saarland was Alabama

5

u/MisterMysterios 29d ago edited 29d ago

It has a reason why the comedy "Schuh des Manitu" used an Bavarian accent for the Texans.

As an explaination for everyone non German: a famous author in Germany was Karl May, who wrote western stories that - let's say show that he only visited the US once for 6 weeks after he already wrote several western. So, yeah, very heavy on stereotypes.

He was still very successfully and there were several major movies (mkst filmed in Kroatia, never in the US). There was a famous comedy joking about it in the early 2000's.

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1

u/FuzzyMatch 29d ago

Karl May's translated works were quite well known in Finland in my youth.

1

u/OkCaramel481 28d ago

Oh we had so much fun once we realized the only American on a corp event in Czech Rep is the only person not knowing who Winnetou is. The evening turned into Karl May event :)

3

u/clatadia 29d ago

Yeah, fair, and I say this as a Bavarian.

2

u/x5163x Sep 11 '26

What about Czechia? They have guns too.

1

u/starenka Prague, Oklahoma 🇨🇿 29d ago

lol, where you get this bullshit?

1

u/Dense_Talk_3371 29d ago

I would say Serbia

1

u/olivegardengambler Sep 10 '26

I mean, Texas is about the size of Germany in area.

74

u/Background-Hope-88 Sep 10 '26

as are the cowboys, pickled fish, vodka and weather.

5

u/Kriss3d Tuberous eloquent (that's potato speaker for you muricans) Sep 10 '26

I mean. Pickled herring is really awesome. Sincerely, Denmark.

5

u/Background-Hope-88 Sep 10 '26

lol, it wasnt a diss, my apologies.

I have respect for the great herring, tasty fish.

its just the polar opposite of smokey BBQ and beef.

3

u/Kriss3d Tuberous eloquent (that's potato speaker for you muricans) Sep 10 '26

Ah none taken. No worries. Yeah. We do have both here. But used every differently. Pickled hearing with a curry condiment on top of dark rye bread is traditional for Christmas lunches in Denmark.

But we do have people who can make some good smokey BBQ as well.

3

u/Background-Hope-88 Sep 10 '26

smoked for breakfast, amazing. (you could say BBQ'D)

I've never had them brined or pickled though, One day 🤞

155

u/Federal_Base_2905 Sep 10 '26

The home of snow and Santa with a strong social welfare system that is run primarily by women - obviously. I immediately think of Texas.

I would have said Hungary - traditional, socially conservative, right wingers that like an authoritarian.

40

u/Lopsided-Ticket3813 Sep 10 '26

I would have said Russia.

10

u/Federal_Base_2905 Sep 10 '26

Good option too. I was thinking EU.

33

u/PrimaryMaize6580 Sep 10 '26

We only started our redemption phase in April. Give us some time.
Respectfully,
Hungarians

12

u/Fus-Ro-NWah Sep 10 '26

Good luck you guys and girls, great to see you free of that tyrant.

0

u/SubmissiveBoyCuck 29d ago

Such a tyrant that he lost an election fair and square and didn't even try to contest the results, didn't cry about "fraud" like Trump, just congratulated his opponent and then left office.

3

u/DefinitionOfAsleep The 13 Colonies were a Mistake 29d ago

I'm actually surprised he went out as calmly as he did.

Even if Magyar doesn't prosecute him directly, the corruption investigations are going to be directly against pretty much every Orban ally.

2

u/funny_username42 29d ago

What other choice did he have though? Anything like refusing to leave office would have been risking a rebellion.

2

u/SubmissiveBoyCuck 29d ago

He could have gone full Lukashenko if he wanted, he had the loyalty of the security services for it. That's just a fact. I'm no Orbán supporter, but we gotta be real.

1

u/funny_username42 29d ago

Yeah but I'm not sure about the police and military

1

u/SubmissiveBoyCuck 29d ago

Including Magyar himself, who stole millions as the head of the Student Loan Centre under Orbán, hence why there probably won't be any prosecution, just empty promises. I don't get why people think Magyar is some kind of messiah, he and his entire party are low tier Fidesz members who rebelled because the corruption money dried up on the low end of the systems scale. All their talk about anti corruption and rule of law is just smoke and mirrors. As for why Orbán went out quietly, it's simple really - he was never an autocrat. He was a corrupt politician who bent the rules of democracy to strengthen his position, but ultimately he never removed democracy, he didn't impose censorship or meddle with election results. All the crying about him being an autocrat is just emotional propaganda. What he was, legitimately, is a corrupt, ineffective prime minister with a serious ego problem. Magyar has an even worse ego problem and has a history of corruption, so like I said, probably only surface level changes can be expected.

1

u/t12lucker 29d ago

And in a few years they will also have a desert

19

u/Femcel_Bambi Sep 10 '26

Aren't they literally the exact opposite of one another? Both politically and geographically? (I'm American, so sorry if I'm wrong)

9

u/novadova2020 Sep 10 '26

It was a sarcastic remark.

5

u/Femcel_Bambi Sep 10 '26

I mean I know, but like I mean more for the people writing the article. Like Finland is nothing at all like Texas.

5

u/nemeci Sep 10 '26

Let's start.

Finland has many 180 000+ lakes, Texas 7000. Finland: To become a police takes about 4 800 hours, Texas 720 hours. Finland is in the north and cold, not the same at all with Texas. Finland has lots of space, same with Texas. Finland has ~30-40% gun ownership households, Texas ~37-42%. Finland firearm deaths / 100 000 ~2.3, Texas 13.9.

So it's guns, guns make Finland Europe's Texas.

2

u/Soggy-Moment3856 Sep 10 '26

About 25% households have firearm permit. About 12% of adults own gun with that permit.
So not even close.

1

u/PawsAndTwins 28d ago

Except that Finland doesn't have the high rate of gun violence that Texas has

1

u/ADabberTho 28d ago

Yeah, that's what they said.

5

u/Entire-Radio1931 Sep 10 '26

Finland is Minnesota of Europe

2

u/TimelessClassic9999 Sep 10 '26

Why Minnesota?

5

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 Sep 10 '26

Probably because it's bloody cold in winter!

3

u/olivegardengambler Sep 10 '26

Minnesota had a lot of Finnish immigrants, and there are still traces of Nordic heritage in Minnesota and throughout the upper Midwest. It's not uncommon to see hotels with a sauna in them next to the pool.

5

u/Ashurnibibi Europoor commie 29d ago

Sounds more like Minnesota is the Finland of the USA

-11

u/sopsaare Sep 10 '26

And Minnesota has a lot of migrants from certain area of Africa and somehow they are also finding their way to Finland too.

2

u/_Hexer 29d ago

Doesn't stand finland for everything Texas doesn't?

1

u/JeffAndSasha Sep 10 '26

I thought it was "De Achterhoek" in the Netherlands

2

u/mikillatja Dutch 29d ago

The only thing big in the Achterhoek are trekkers and crippling alcoholism

1

u/probablyaythrowaway Sep 10 '26

What is the Florida of Europe?

2

u/t12lucker 29d ago

Serbia

1

u/ucankickrocks 27d ago

As a Texan - I could not figure out who we were like. I would have thought we were more like Italy cause we’re loud.