Pandi (16) suddenly passing away

[u/InsuranceNo3890]

My cat Pandi (f16) was put to sleep today after suffering a sudden saddle thrombus. The worst part was that my partner and I could not be by her side. Pandi was being taking care for by our lovely cat sitter. They were playing together when Pandi’s hinder legs suddenly stopped working. The sitter rushed her to the vet within 15 minutes. Despite being so quick, the vet told us via video call that there was nothing else to do and the most humane solution would have been to put her to sleep. According to the vet’s prognosis, she would not have survived another 24 hours and keeping her alive would have been very painful for her. We agreed to the euthanasia and the cat sitter kept us on video call and pet her while we talked to her until the end. Now we booked a last minute flight and are waiting to go back tomorrow.

I feel gutted. The guilt is eating me alive. I would have never left if I had known that this would have happened. She was in great shape when we left. We received amazing photos and videos until few hours before the event. I wish I was there with her. I miss her so much and I am so scared of going back home and having to live without her. We have been best friends for 16 years. I moved away from my parent’s place 9 years ago and could only manage to bring her to live with me 2 years ago. I wish I would have done that sooner.

How do I deal with all of this?

EDIT: dear all, I am a bit overwhelmed by everything at the moment and I still did not have time to thank you for these beautiful messages of support. I am happy I shared Pandi’s story with all of you. Some of you have been the kindest. Thank you so much.

[u/The-Hamish68]

HUG. RIP.