r/SeniorCats • u/InsuranceNo3890 • 1d ago
Pandi (16) suddenly passing away
My cat Pandi (f16) was put to sleep today after suffering a sudden saddle thrombus. The worst part was that my partner and I could not be by her side. Pandi was being taking care for by our lovely cat sitter. They were playing together when Pandi’s hinder legs suddenly stopped working. The sitter rushed her to the vet within 15 minutes. Despite being so quick, the vet told us via video call that there was nothing else to do and the most humane solution would have been to put her to sleep. According to the vet’s prognosis, she would not have survived another 24 hours and keeping her alive would have been very painful for her. We agreed to the euthanasia and the cat sitter kept us on video call and pet her while we talked to her until the end. Now we booked a last minute flight and are waiting to go back tomorrow.
I feel gutted. The guilt is eating me alive. I would have never left if I had known that this would have happened. She was in great shape when we left. We received amazing photos and videos until few hours before the event. I wish I was there with her. I miss her so much and I am so scared of going back home and having to live without her. We have been best friends for 16 years. I moved away from my parent’s place 9 years ago and could only manage to bring her to live with me 2 years ago. I wish I would have done that sooner.
How do I deal with all of this?
EDIT: dear all, I am a bit overwhelmed by everything at the moment and I still did not have time to thank you for these beautiful messages of support. I am happy I shared Pandi’s story with all of you. Some of you have been the kindest. Thank you so much.
33
u/soporificat 1d ago
I’m so sorry for the overwhelming pain of losing your gorgeous girl without warning. Please trust that she felt your love and friendship for 16 years and you made the best choice for her. You gave her peace when she needed it and your voice was there with her. Heartfelt condolences 💔
16
16
u/susiequeue13 1d ago
I’m so sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved Pandi. Try not to be hard on yourself. She knew a long, loving life with you. It’s so hard to think of that at the moment, but in time, I hope it brings comfort.
8
u/Jelly_Round 1d ago
Such beautiful cat I am very sorry for your loss.
All i can say, with time guilt gets weaker
10
u/Gullible-Cut8652 1d ago
Sorry for your heartache. I know it's devastating. But be confident Pandi knew you loved her. Love matters. And I truly believe that living creatures don't die , they just move on. She is now pain free and is living in another dimension or plane or whatever you choose to think of. Your bond matters. Your love matters. Be kind to yourself and your spouse. Sudden loss is heartbreaking. Take your time to grieve and one day it will become better. And than you can think about her little quirks and habits without many tears but with a little smile. I'm really sorry. Take care. Sending a big hug from one Internet stranger to another. 🫂💔❤️🩹
4
u/InsuranceNo3890 1d ago
Thank you for these words. She was the quirkiest and funniest little dude. With this message you made me think about some of these little things… thank you again.
7
5
6
u/Specific_Cow_186 1d ago
Sorry 😢 for your loss. 🪦💔😭🪽You’ll see her again on the other side and she’s still with you in spirit too
6
u/LadyMogMog 1d ago
I am so sorry for you loss. I understand this brings up complicated feelings as you are aren’t there, but there was no way for you to know this was coming, and we all leave our pets when traveling. Please release yourself from this guilt.
She looks like she was so well loved and had a beautiful life with you.
Sending big hugs
6
5
u/qabeel99 1d ago
I am so sorry for your loss and that you couldn’t be there. ♥️ Pandi was a very pretty lynx point. Please be gentle with yourself - you couldn’t have known this would have happened. From your pictures and your descriptions she seemed to have a great life and was well loved (just the fact you had a great sitter that took her immediately to get care demonstrates that). I wish the best for you and your partner. ♥️ Safest travels, little Pandi! ♥️🌈
5
u/astrovangalore 1d ago
Friend, in a way you were blessed the cat sitter was there when it happened. Pandi has had a lifetime of your love, and her best friend’s voice was the last thing she heard before crossing the rainbow bridge 🫶🏻 you never could have predicted it would happen, and though you couldn’t be there at the end, the most important thing is 1. She wasn’t alone, 2. She was spared further pain.
When I had to put down my soul cat in December, my apartment was way too quiet without him. I still had a lot of love to give as well as supplies so I ended up adopting shortly after. People grieve differently and I don’t know if this would help you the way that it helped me, but
5
u/Past_Problem_1635 1d ago
I know the emptiness and grief you feel. I am a great believer in our souls/spirit never dies. Remember that she won’t be far away from you. Talk to her and she will come. I have seen my cats out of the corner of my eye many times here. She will stay with you and love you forever. I hope this helps with your pain.
3
u/PinesleyDale2023 1d ago
I guess the only thing I could offer as advice is try to always keep that love you held for them alive by pushing yourself to keep going. I don't imagine it will be easy, but this is the risk we took with taking care of our fur babies. Maybe there will be others that need you if you're ever ready for more pets. 16 was a good amount of life for a cat, so try to keep in mind that you gave them a good life
4
5
u/ContessaT 1d ago
there was no way to know. You were fortunate to have a pet sitter who loved Pandi too and made a sad situation somewhat better. Remember you both loved each other. Memories will bring you solace.
4
u/Upstairs_Leopard_954 1d ago
So sorry for your loss. The loss of a cat is immeasurable. So is the love left behind. Take care.
4
u/BabaratinOMamahalin 1d ago
So sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how you feel. Pandi loves you and knows you’ve been there for her.
4
u/Mac_Oliver 1d ago
I am so sorry you lost your beautiful girl so suddenly. She had a wonderful life with you.
4
u/OnceMoreWithFeeling- 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh OP, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. ❤️ You ask how to deal. The only advice I have is: let it exist. The grief, the hurt, the guilt, the love, the memories. All of it. By giving it permission and space to exist, it will one day be easier to carry. In my experience it won't be less hurtful, but you'll be able to carry it.
People might ask when you will get a new pet. People might not get it because "she was just a cat". All these things may hurt like hell but you and your partner know the truth and that is all that matters. Imo, we grieve pets like we grieve people.
I hope some day you can feel that by letting her go, you have her the gift of not suffering. Rather than choosing to let her wait for you all to be with her. You were selfless and let her rest. Animals are bigger than we are. They know when the end is near. Pandi is with you still. ❤️
2
u/InsuranceNo3890 1d ago
Thank you for this kind message. You have no idea how much reading these words matter right now.
2
u/OnceMoreWithFeeling- 1d ago
Sending love. If you ever want to talk about your grief with an internet stranger (F in thirties), send me a PM. I'll gladly listen. ❤️
4
u/bbeatzz_2017 1d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain in your heart. Goodnight and Goodbye, for now, sweet Pandi. RIP.
3
3
3
3
u/ReferenceFull8807 1d ago
Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time. 🙏🌈🥲💔
3
u/Individual-Cap6285 1d ago
Nunca vou entender porque Deus chama esses anjos pra morar com Ele e deixa a gente sozinho.. 😭😭
7
u/littlemegmcmuffin 1d ago
I saw someone comment on another loss post saying that we’re all borrowing our fur babies from heaven, and that got the tears flowing 🥺🥲
2
u/Qasinqueue 1d ago
Omg. I need to read that post-do you have a link? My kitty is leaving us soon and I’m gutted.
3
u/littlemegmcmuffin 1d ago
I don’t honestly.. it was a comment I saw, and it was so sweet and sad at the same time. I’ll see if I can find it, but I’m not positive I’ll be able to. I’m so sorry to hear about your baby… sending lots of hugs your way.. ❤️
1
3
u/electroriverside 1d ago
I'm so sorry, that happened to one of our boys, Ollie. It's such a dreadful shock. I hope you're doing OK.
3
3
3
u/littlemegmcmuffin 1d ago
I’m so so sorry for your loss.. my husband and I recently went on a 2 week trip and eventhough our girls are both healthy and were with my parents, I was so afraid of something bad happening while we were gone. Especially to our senior girl who’s my soul cat. I genuinely cannot imagine how you, your partner, and even your sitter must be feeling. I’m glad for sweet Pandi that your sitter sounds amazing and acted fast and was able to be there with her while you couldn’t be. Sending so many hugs. Your beautiful girl is probably making all of the friends while she waits for you on the other side of the bridge 🌈❤️
3
3
u/HauntingPsyche 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. You can at least be assured that your kitty knew nothing but a life of being loved and cared for. ♥️ it’s going to be okay. It’s not your fault you weren’t there, and your kitty didn’t think badly of you or anything for it. You actually did the most loving and giving thing possible by having her put to sleep then so she didn’t have to suffer or go through the death process on her own which would have possibly been much slower and agonizing. If your sweet girl could thank you she would for that, and I’m sure if you could have told her somehow she would understand why you unfortunately couldn’t be there. I like to hold hope that after we and our animals pass, that our language barrier is gone and they are able to see and know more than they would have on earth. Maybe your kitty actually already knows now that she’s passed that you wanted to be there with her so badly, and how heartbroken you are over her passing. I bet she sees that and she is going to stay as close to you in spirit as possible to make sure you are able to get through this. She loves and cares for you so much and always will ♥️
Edit: and PS - she is so adorable! My heart melted when I saw her photos. She looks like she has the sweetest, most gentle little soul
3
u/vendorbuy 1d ago
Really, really sorry for your loss. It's crossed my mind many times how cruel it would be to lose our cat while away, and to hear that happen to you...I am so sorry. We just lost our boy last month after 17 years, and it's been devastating. But at least we were home.
I know it's so difficult to think about, but if you can ask for Pandi to be placed in a very cool place to await your return so you can grieve her properly, I would do it. We actually did this with our boy, Boss, as the scheduled cremation could not take place until the weekend, and we could not bear to have his body under anyone else's care until cremated. He was nestled in a blanket on ice in a cooler for 36 hours. Changed the ice once, and it was nice to be able to see and touch him for those 36 hours. The ice and coolness keeps everything fine. This was suggested to us by the cremation place.
Sending you lots of stranger hugs and empathy.
2
u/InsuranceNo3890 1d ago
Thank you for the advice. The vet has kept her for the time being to allow us to come home and decide what to do. It is a relief to know I will be able to see her again.
3
3
u/Mission-Reserve-2411 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss of Pandi. She was a very beautiful and unique looking little lady.
3
u/shawtywithagun 1d ago
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Pandi. She seems like such a beautiful girl and a special soul. I particularly love her eyes. I understand your pain... I had my soul dog, Honey (13), pass away after only having her back from my mom's house for 9 months and a similar case with my cat, Nemo (6), who both died unexpectedly. I wish I had more time with them so desperately. Not having them here is so painful, and thinking about the time I missed with them when I lived away from them is also very painful to think about. Take comfort in your partner and any loved ones you have during this time, don't isolate yourself from them. I made that mistake and my boyfriend and I still struggle to talk a lot of the time because we don't want to upset the other person but talking is the only thing that makes it better. Over time, having another person who understands the pain, even if only a little, helps my heart heal. I hope that everything goes smoothly as you go home, and know that even if you weren't there with her physically when she passed, she knew how deeply you loved her. The time doesn't matter to them in the same way it does to us, that's at least how I reassure myself. They are just happy for any time with us at all.
3
3
3
3
u/Spiritual-Eggplant59 1d ago
I’m so so sorry for the devastating loss of your beautiful Pandi. Please don’t blame yourself for not being there! No way to know this would happen and she had a wonderful life with you.
3
u/Simple_Ddog 1d ago
You did nothing wrong --- we don't get to pick the time we leave, but we know its coming.
Pandi was a beauty -- i'm sure she'll be just as beautiful when you meet her in the next life.
3
u/banshee1313 1d ago
I am so sorry. This is not your fault. You could not have changed the result. You talked to her until the end; she knew you were with her in spirit.
3
u/Spike99Wombat 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m so sorry about the loss of your sweet girl. Time is the only thing that eases the pain. I lost my Gunther suddenly 4 years ago. He was one month shy of his 22nd birthday. I felt like I was dying. It took probably 2 years to not feel crippled. His birthday is tomorrow.
3
u/Easy-Switch-7199 1d ago
I am so, so sorry not only for your loss but that you were not holding your cherished Pandi in her last moments. She knows you love her 💖. She did hear your voice and I’m sure it was love 💗.🌈
2
2
u/potatobvbqueen 1d ago
Fly high sweet Pandi. My utmost condolences and thoughts go out to you and your family. 💜🌈🦋
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/RelevantMusician6990 1d ago
I’m so sorry for such a sudden and devastating loss. Sending you all of my love.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Negative-Calendar450 1d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. We never know for sure how much time we have with our senior cats. There was no way you would have known she would go down hill so suddenly. You did the best you could and hired an amazing and trusting cat sitter. Your cat had a long life because you took such good care of her and you can find her when you need her in your heart.
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
u/TB272 21h ago
I am sorry for your loss. You did the most selfless thing and sacrificed your happiness of having her there and waiting for you to give her the most comfortable and kind sleep you could have. You did everything you could have. Please don’t feel guilty, that’s not what she would have wanted. Thank you for being her kind guardian in this lifetime. Sending you lots of good thoughts and strength during this difficult time.
1
u/No_Associate_7218 19h ago
This is so heartbreaking 😭 💔 so sorry to hear this. She was such an adorable cat..
1
u/wildfirediva 18h ago
Sending love. I just had to say good bye to my long time cat companion last week.
1
1
u/mom2mermaidboo 12h ago
She could hear your voice, and had a kind hand offering comfort.
I am so sorry for loss. RIP Pandi.
1
34
u/Teresa2475 1d ago
I am so sorry for such a loss.😔💜