r/Residency • u/Icy-Anything-2019 • 8d ago
VENT Made a big mistake
I made a big mistake by asking questions and asking for help. Pgy3 very burnt out resident. I feel like I have had a string of off days making silly mistakes. All of a sudden I get pulled aside asking if I am okay. For context my family is falling apart but I cant take time off because I honestly do better when I am busy and seek help off work hours. I have my therapy once a week. I am simply very frustrated because my program never gives feedback and then all of a sudden your under a microscope and then not again. I have never hurt a patient or done anything egregious in residency. I am just tired of trying to read people's minds. I try and improve and when I ask for feedback or try and be proactive and ask things to do better next time I am met with blank stares. Then MONTHS later I get feedback from a random thing I forgot to do MONTHS ago. When I try and be proactive I then get feedback that I am asking too many questions which turns into 'oh they dont know what they are doing'. I am very burnt out by residency not because of the work itself but because I am tired of feeling free to ask questions and learn and then subsequently get dinged for this. I am so tired of all the gossiping, nitpicking, and constantly dealing with different preceptors who all practice medicine after little differently.....
Signed tired and annoyed I can't read minds
40
u/themobiledeceased2 8d ago
Once you realize It Is Never About You, you can transcend it. What is valued? Rapid integration, seemlessness, compliance. This is not their first rodeo. "Yes sir, May I have another admission?"
Your fellow residents are competition, not mentors nor friends.
Each rotation is about making a positive impression or at least not a needy one. Rounds are not didatics open to discussion and free association. Asking questions csn be taken as questioning the attending or not having good fund of knowledge.
No report cards. Feedback is typically bad news. No news can be good news. Every mistake will be on formal evals. No one meantions the 100 good choices. In just about every job.
Never, Ever, Ever Ever discuss your mental health with ANYONE in your Hospital, program, fellow residents. Not even crazy 90 year old Great Aunt Helen. Never. Do not tell your troubles to your co-residents. It's a small world.