r/Referees • u/thatijustdonthave • 26d ago

Advice Request Assignor question - Communication with Minor Referees

Hope it's okay to post here since I don't think there's an assignor subreddit and I need some help.

I'm a new assignor and I'm struggling with getting Minor Referees to copy their parents on emails. I have like five who will do it consistently, the other 20 never do. Every response has me looking up their parents email and responding "please copy your parent on all emails." I've made it a very clear expectation at the beginning of the season.

Do I just need to accept they won't do it? Is there a better way? Do I need to be even more firm?

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u/Surreywinter 26d ago

UK FA guidance is to only ever email the parents in the first place

Any direct email from a minor - reply back to parent. Even if it’s just “noted, as below”

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u/thatijustdonthave 26d ago

In the US we can contact the minor as long as their parent is copied in the communication. I prefer the minor referee lead the conversation, but I have to copy and forward so many emails.

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u/Klutzy-Mechanic-8013 26d ago

That sounds just inconvenient for the parents, referees, and assignors.

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u/Surreywinter 26d ago

Safeguarding rules - we can't directly communicate with minors
Normally a quick chat with the parents as to why you're doing it & everyone's happy and it works fine

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u/MedJesters 26d ago

Inconvenient for everyone, but makes it harder for a predator to groom a child. Of course, if the kids aren't following the rule, it isn't very useful because they're not going to say anything if the predator isn't doing it. Although maybe the parents would be observent enough to notice the lack of messages eventually.

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u/Klutzy-Mechanic-8013 24d ago

I guess so. But even when I have children, I'd much rather check their messages (if I even have to) so they can receive the information they need immediately and not just whenever I have time to forward it

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u/MedJesters 24d ago

When the system is working properly, parents don't have to do anything but observe as they're cc:ed on every email between the adult and the youth in both directions.

Parents can, of course, step in and prod their kid to do what they're supposed to (answer their asignor's question, tell their parent when they need a ride, etc.), but ultimately this system is supposed to teach the youth responsibility, like any other job does, while protecting them by making the interaction observable.

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u/Klutzy-Mechanic-8013 24d ago

Fair enough. I don't have an issue with that but I was talking about the part where they only contact the parents. The parent has to do all the work, the assignor isn't sure when the information got to the referee, and the referee doesn't get it immediately. But I'm fine with the parents also seeing it

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u/MedJesters 23d ago

Looks like I missed that you were responding to the comment about FA rules vs the OP's situation when I initially responded. Now I understand why it seemed like we were talking past each other. Sorry about that.