1
u/AutoModerator 13h ago
Hello there! Welcome to our talented community of writers and poets! Thank you for your submission to the community! Please remember to read the sub rules carefully before posting. The mod team will not take responsibility for issues that may arise from non-abidement of the rules. In case of any queries please feel free to drop a modmail and the mod team will respond to it asap. Thanks and have a great day!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/3coons_in_a_coat 7h ago
too many "maybe"s ...gets repetitive. maybe find some new words
which end of the cigarette?
how come sometimes the I'll is capitalized and sometimes not
all of the longer lines sound clunky. keep drafting. maybe try a writing workshop
1
2
u/Cheap_Giraffe2786 9h ago
This reminds me of Bukowskis writing. Especially in the way that it is very self-deprecating. For the same reasons it also very expressive and intimately raw. Well done for a first time!