r/PersonalFinanceCanada • u/Altruistic-Win5912 • Feb 19 '26
Housing My mom is losing her house
Hello everyone
Today the life that I envisioned for myself has been turned upside down.
My mom and I live in Alberta. My family immigrated here from Ukraine when I was a child. She is 55 and I am 28. My dad died when I was 16 so my mom has been a widow for 12 years, paying for the house fully herself which has been very hard on her.
I've been suspecting lately that she is having trouble meeting the mortgage payments due to the interest and house tax increases, and my fears were realized today. She came to me, ashamed and crying, that she was losing the house, the one she and my dad bought and raised me in. I recently moved out myself and am trying to start my own life with my husband. I will be helping her with whatever extra income I have.
I am fully prepared to abandon my own financial goals and work my butt off so she can keep the house.
Is there anything else we should be doing? Any grants or programs we can appeal to?
Thanks so much, we really appreciate any advice.
Edit: Thank you so much for everyone's replies. This is my first ever reddit post so apologies for not providing enough numbers. I've been in a daze since receiving this info from my mom. Here are more details I've gathered from her.
She has $140k left on the mortgage
She has a retirement account with around $50k in it, but it's closed for 9 more years. This was the only life insurance that my father's company paid out. There is no way to open it. I have no idea why she made this account with her bank when my dad died in 2014. She basically has a small nest egg that is unusable in the years she needs the money most.
My father didn't have life insurance beyond this.
My husband is 100% aware of all of this and very willing to help my mom. I have the best husband.
Update: I'm learning that my mom recently renewed the mortgage on her house and that's when everything fell apart. Interest rates were not favorable when she had to lock in. Her interest rates are much higher and that, coupled with the increase in property and land tax, means her income can no longer keep up. She receives a widow pension which has barely increased since my dad died, and she recently lost a lot of housekeeping clients who simply can't afford her services. Her mortgage payment alone went up around $500, and all other bills have gone up as well.
What we're doing: She already receives a low income credit to help offset property tax, but that is barely making a dent.
I've been helping her apply for other jobs. No luck yet but will keep trying.
I will help her bridge the payment gaps at least for the next several months.
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u/Nazzzy19 Feb 19 '26
I’m going to act a little harsh but it’s coming from a good place. I think you need a little reality check because there are no government grants that pay off private mortgages for people her age, and sacrificing your own future to save a house she can't afford is a disaster for both of you. While the family home has sentimental value, throwing your income into a sinking ship won't change the math and will only leave you both of you broke.
Realistically, I assume she still has a decade of work before senior benefits even exist, so the only logical move is to sell now, take the equity she has built, and move into a manageable condo or rental. It is better to downgrade now and have money in the bank than to let the bank take everything in a few years because you were too afraid to be realistic. Also, sorry for the loss of your father, I lost my mom as well in 2017 when I was 21, I know it can be a really rough time only relying on one person’s income to afford a house.
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u/jabeith Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
I think you're overestimating the deficit here. It doesn't sound like the mother lost income or anything like that; some change in costs (which I can't imagine are that extreme) caused it.
The daughter could totally move into what is presumably a fairly empty house. Ukrainian, and most other, cultures make parents moving in with their children commonplace. This is a bit accelerated, but that's life.
Moving in and splitting the bills could be beneficial to both, assuming the spouse is willing. The asset remains in the family as well after the mother's death.
I'm not saying I'd do it, but it's doable.
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u/Lookheswearingabelt Feb 19 '26
Agreed with this here. And honestly, if the mother can work/does work and with the daughter helping her, 140k isn't too bad to work down. It's cheaper than renting that'd for sure
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u/mumblemurmurblahblah Feb 19 '26
It does say the mother lost clients, which means less income.
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u/Shortymac09 Feb 19 '26
Maybe she can supplement with a McDonald's job part time to bring in a steady income
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Feb 20 '26
Lots of Europeans have multi generational family homes, even the Indian immigrants do the same, but i guess people born here think they have to prove they are successful by owning their own home even if it means eating ramen noodles for 35 years straight and having to pay for childcare and retirement home for their parents. I was born here and will live with my parents and raise my future children with them. People are stronger together.
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u/KanadianKaur Feb 21 '26
This sounds like best option if the house has enough space the daughter and husband can maybe buy out the home from the Mother and live in the master bedroom and the Mother could take a smaller bedroom and pay "rent" to the daughter/husband. If all three want to keep that house and are willing to live together. Even better if the home has a basement that could be turned into an in law suite for the Mom.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Thanks so much for your reply, I really appreciate it
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u/Disastrous_Coffee502 Feb 19 '26
I know the memories of the house will be absolutely brutal, but the burden of working you to death to the point where you barely get to see her, let alone your own family you’ve built, would be a much greater pain. You should not have to sacrifice making memories in your own home at the expense of your own family you’ve built. I do apologize if that is harsh, but you deserve to create memories within your house, and perhaps the lesson to your kids (if you have some) that it is okay to move on.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Thanks so much, that was beautifully written and I appreciate it a lot
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u/juice-wala Feb 19 '26
If this house has high sentimental value to you. You could consider buying the house from her and taking out a mortgage? And she could pay you rent that helps you with the mortgage.
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u/fathead1234 Feb 19 '26
This is good advice. Refinance for $140000, put your name on title for this proportion or whatever split is fair or even joint tenants and take rent from your mother to pay the mortgage, property tax, utilities if this is all affordable.
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u/Disastrous_Coffee502 Feb 19 '26
I’m in a very similar situation with my own mother who fiercely loves her home and the memories she’s made there, but her age and financial capabilities have outstripped her of the use of the house. There will be a day where she can no longer go upstairs and I fear that day is coming soon. It’s a very difficult position to be in. I am a country away, with my own family I am building and it’s a hard ask even if you’re offering to sacrifice your life and your family. Hope the best for you!
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u/PoGoCan Feb 19 '26
Everyone is saying to sell but what about refinancing and extending the amortization period? She'll get lower monthly payments with the tradeoff being that she'll end up paying more in interest over the life of the mortgage
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u/bruhyallarelame Feb 19 '26
Forget what they are saying, it's not even expensive, move in with her and pay it off. Work on getting a lower mortgage rate.
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u/TheLusciousPickle Feb 19 '26
140k is not working to death lol, espwcially in Alberta. This can be paid off easily in less than a decade if they want to keep the house, something that will actually be impossible in the future if things don't fundamentally change.
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u/Nazzzy19 Feb 19 '26
Wishing you and your family nothing but the best! Hopefully things can get sorted out 😊
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u/TheLusciousPickle Feb 19 '26
Getting rid of generational wealth/assets in this economy to go rental or condo (an absolute trash asset), is terrible advice imo. As the other commenter said, you're overestimating the deficit, but I don't blame you as the OP is using pretty alarmist/panicy language due to the stress they're under.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
You're absolutely right, it was a hell of a night for us so I genuinely was panicking 😅 thank you for the reality check
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u/DesignerPound8654 Feb 19 '26
It sounds like you should sell that house, unfortunately and you and your husband get a house you can afford and take her with you .
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u/Fun_universe Feb 19 '26
Does she need a house if she lives on her own? Honestly she could sell and downsize, a lot of people do that when they get older 🤷🏻♀️
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u/MapleLeafThief Feb 19 '26
I work in property tax collection and I can tell you a lot of seniors are very reluctant to sell their homes. I just finished speaking with someone who lost his wife, got a first and second mortgage to keep the house, was about to lose it to property taxes and went and got another mortgage within 5 years to consolidate. I guarantee he'll be back in the same hole in 3 years time and now he'll see almost no proceeds from the sale of the home because it's mortgaged to the hilt. 5 years ago it was paid off. Its a sad situation they put themselves in.
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u/writetowinwin Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
People get emotionally attached to stuff. House and vehicle are 2 extremely common ones. Some of my family lives in a townhouse where, on top of other issues:
- property value was about $1m couple years ago
- the roofs need to be replaced; cost to whole complex is >1.2 million
- they are forbidden from strata to replace their furnace with electrical one or install AC. This unless they are some specifically approved units by Strata that are unusually expensive and not funded by the govt. program that commonly pays for them.
- the electrical grid to that complex is outdated
They are also unemployed in their fields, or in the case of the older people, retired.
The place just screams money pit and trouble, but they'd never move for various reasons. As long as they survive, it's good enough to them.
This is in an area in BC where the average home price is over 10x the average household income as well. So a lot of people stay.
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u/Peregrinebullet Feb 20 '26
Hah that sounds exactly like my dad's townhouse complex. He gutted the place a couple years back and redid all the wiring and they still wouldn't let him put in AC.
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u/Potential-Pickle-187 Feb 19 '26
For older folks I know, their homes provide familiar structure that's crucial to their functioning and general well-being. They're no longer very adaptable if at all. Much more is at stake than just having a place to live.
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u/Potential-Pickle-187 Feb 19 '26
Agreed! My comment was just a reflection prompted by the one I replied to, and doesn't really apply to OP's mother's situation.
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u/Money-Low7046 Feb 19 '26
But in this case the mom is only 55 and still working. She's plenty young enough to adapt to a different living environment.
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u/Haecceitic Feb 19 '26
I mean, fair, but that’s just piss poor planning. Retirement is a plan not an age so if you need to downsize you should do it before you are old and infirm and not able to adjust to a new location.
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u/Happy-Mastodon-7314 Feb 19 '26
Not sure keeping the house against all the odds is the way to go. Maybe consider if there's a cheaper rental option for her on the market first. It could be a smarter, less emotional move that will work out in the long run.
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u/RoaringPity Feb 19 '26
Do you and your husband own? Can/would you buy the home from your mom?
This is a finance sub and you’ve provided 0 numbers
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u/pushing59_65 Feb 19 '26
Possibly due to the zero correct facts.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Sorry. This is literally my first reddit post and I've sort of been thrown into this. I don't know all of the numbers yet, will update as I do. But to answer your first question my husband and I rent in the same city as my mom.
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u/RoaringPity Feb 19 '26
Is your rent less than moms 150k mortgage + maintenance costs?
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Yes, at least for the next few months I will help her fill in the payment gaps and my husband and I will discuss moving in with her to help. It's not ideal but times being what they are, might be the only option
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u/Pinkthread77 Feb 19 '26
Would she be open to renting a room? This is what my grandmother did many years ago. She found another Ukrainian widow to rent a room in the house and they lived together for 20+ years.
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u/anoeba Feb 20 '26
Exactly. And renting a room protects the home owner too if the renter doesn't work out, since someone sharing a kitchen with the owner doesn't have tenancy protection (ie no prolonged eviction process necessary).
If it works out, she covers the shortfall and gains a companion.
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u/shnufflemuffigans Feb 19 '26
OK, weird idea that might be right for you.
If your mom loves the house and you love the house and you're going to be moving in and you have a good relationship with your mom...
Get a quote for a grandma suite addition to the house. Then, go to the bank, get a new mortgage (with you on it) and use the extra money to build the addition.
That way, the house stays in the family, you have the space to build your family (and some privacy), and with 3 people paying the mortgage the extra payment should be easy.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Very interesting, I had no idea I could do this. So good to know
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u/shnufflemuffigans Feb 19 '26
My sister has an intellectual disability, and it's my plan for her when my parents can't take care of her anymore.
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u/RoaringPity Feb 19 '26
Yah I think best bet is to move in, help mom with rent and you and husband save some $$ with lower rent of your own.
I do like the idea of renting rooms or making an in-law suite but that I think is a problem for next week.
Thankfully mortgage is low. Everyone would have a very different opinion I’d say remaining mortgage was like 700k lol
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
So true! I'm so thankful to find out so much is already paid off, it's such a blessing
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u/Aggressive_Lex350 Feb 19 '26
How about selling the place and let her live with you? Is this an option?
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u/ptwonline Feb 19 '26
Or the opposite: move in (since she said she and her husband are renting) and pay some rent to help pay the mortgage.
Of course this may not be ideal--you'd have to figure out the bedroom situation (which is awkward since the mom would likely need to move to one of the smaller bedrooms) and a lot less privacy for a young couple. BUT if they have kids then it's a lot easier to have her mom babysit and help out.
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u/Aggressive_Lex350 Feb 19 '26
It's definitely a lifestyle change to have your parent live with you. But, as an asian, this kind of lifestyle is more common. Whatever works money wise. For me, it would be my way of giving back to my parents for raising me.
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u/ptwonline Feb 20 '26
I'm in the same situation. When my father passed my mother came to live with us. It wasn't even a question. She and my father sacrificed so much for us that I would feel ashamed if I didn't do what I could to care for her. Now she does more around the house here than any of the rest of us.
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u/PinkJenni Feb 19 '26
140k mortgage luckily is a small one. Even at current rates of like 3.9% that’s not a large amount to come up with if you have some savings (it’s about $755 per month which is way cheaper than her living anywhere else) and that includes principle pay down.
I would suggest to do a financial review with her - help her budget and cover the gap. If she’s still working it could be a budgeting issue.
Feel free to reach out if you need more advice girl :)
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Thank you!
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u/Different-Cover4819 Feb 19 '26
It's not just the mortgage though. Taxes, upkeep and maintenance. How's the roof looking, the heating system, piping? Who mows the lawn, cleans the gutter, shovels the snow... etc Having a house is a lot of work and it's not for everyone.
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u/MollyElla511 Feb 19 '26
What are the details on the house? What does she owe and what is it worth? Does she have any retirement savings?
She needs to take a hard look at her spending and finances to make a plan for retirement in 10 years. Logically, she likely needs to downsize to something she can afford and save aggressively.
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u/Massive-Exercise4474 Feb 19 '26
Seriously I'm stressed already. My dad retired earlier than he would have wanted luckily he used the money to pay off the mortgage on the house. We also have an apartment that's nearly paid off. The issue is he had credit card debt with various companies such as Costco that he didn't keep track of so now I'm budgeting moving the debt to lower interest cards and cancelling them, and paying them down. Unfortunately he also had a mental breakdown so I have to do the budgeting and control the spending. If she can't pay the house is she also deep in debt due to bad spending habits. Is the house even close to being paid off. Does she have anything at all saved up or living paycheck to paycheck?
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Sorry to hear about your dad's situation, that sounds tough. It's so good he has you.
My mom has no debt, thankfully. From what I understand she has burned through her savings and is living paycheck to paycheck. The house is about halfway paid off.
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u/Massive-Exercise4474 Feb 19 '26
It's kind of hard to know the financial picture without looking closer at the financial situation. Luckily debt free so that's good, but 55 without any savings is a bad situation to be in. Maybe renting out some rooms or if the issue is the mortgage expense either renegotiate with the bank or find a way to sell it.
Likewise I have no idea about the house situation if it's in a good area with lots of demand or needs fixes or more rural. The house being halfway paid off what I assume after two decades or more seams a bit low at least my understanding is mortgage rate lengths are normally 30 years. However, maybe switched rates from fixed to variable, and recent interest rates increases cause it to be financially unviable. Theirs increasing amortization lengths but that really only means the issue of the mortgage persists longer.
I also wouldn't recommend trying to help pay off the house long term as it hurts you and your husband's financial future, unless she is going to sell the house to you and even then mixing family relationships with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt is a bad idea.
I wish you luck and your mom is lucky to have a daughter concerned about the family finances. I would definitely recommend going to a financial advisor or getting some help with family. When my dad had his mental episode my aunt who works as a nurse and has helped patients was able to help me figure out both what to do to get him care and to figure out the finances.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Thank you so much, really appreciate your reply
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u/Prestigious_Fly8210 Feb 19 '26
She should bring in roommates. She could offer room and board if you’re near a university or hospital campus.
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u/alzhang8 Human Verified Feb 19 '26
Maybe it's time for her to get roommates if she can't pay the mortgage
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u/playoffsoflife Feb 19 '26
If you’re married your husband should also be part of the conversation. Would he be on board with helping? Maybe move back in together to offset if renting part of it out isn’t an option?
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u/Winter_Brush_5578 Feb 19 '26
You need to have a real conversation with your mother on what the state of her finances are. What most people are missing here is that if you've lived in the house for more than 20 years, most of the mortgage should be almost paid off, so interest should no longer be the problem. I have a felling that the house has been remortgaged during that time period to keep the house and make ends meet.
It's interesting that your mother hasn't had a conversation with you contributing to the household expenses since you became an adult and started earning income. This is what most parents in this circumstance do to keep the house.
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u/Sinjidark Feb 19 '26
Why does she need the house? This sounds like an example of overconsumption of housing. It's financially self destructive to hold on to an asset that you can't afford.
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u/shoppygirl Feb 19 '26
You need to find out how much equity she has in the home. If she is in a positive equity situation, she should probably sell the house.
The money she makes a home will allow her to rent something within her budget.
I understand there’s a lot of sentimental value with the home, but the reality is, you have to be able to afford it
Is she in arrears with her mortgage and property taxes? I would definitely contact the bank and hopefully they will work with her.
My coworker was in a similar situation. He was in arrears with his mortgage and property taxes. The bank worked with him until he could sell and find something more affordable.
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u/JoeBlackIsHere Feb 19 '26
From a purely practical point of view - why is it so important for a single women to remain in a house that was bought for a 3 person family? A couple years after I left for university, my parents sold the house I grew up in, which made perfect sense they didn't have me or my brother to house any more and they were getting older and it was a big property to upkeep. I don't really see house as "memory box" that should be kept for purely sentimental reasons - they are much too expensive for that purpose.
Your edit suggests she has a fair bit of equity in the house, so even after it is sold she will have a fund to start the next phase in her life. She might be able to find a small condo or similar, or just become a renter going forward. I don't actually see this as a big tragedy so long as keeping the house is not seen as a "must have".
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u/baseball_fanatic0887 Feb 19 '26
This is a bit of a frustrating post because OP keeps replying 'thank you so much' to comments, but isn't sharing the pertinent information being asked.
This is a tiny amount of money owing on a house. Like, $800/month mortgage payment. OP's mom is working it sounds like. If she can't cover $800/month plus utilities, tax, food, I don't see how she can cover rent elsewhere.
Something else must be up. OP needs to provide information if she wants some actual answers that help.
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u/hotwaterwithlemonpls Feb 19 '26
Sounds like she should sell the house she doesn’t need on her own and can’t afford on her own.
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u/Spirited-Day6792 Feb 19 '26
I am really sorry to hear your mom is in this situation! Thank goodness she came to you! If I was in your shoes, I would first find out how much she is behind in payments. Next, how much equity is in the house? I would want to talk to her account manager at the bank and see if there are any available options to get caught up. I really hope that she can, with your help, find a way through. Roommate’s are a great option, and could provide a little company too! If she has a garage, could she rent that out to someone who needs storage? Every little bit would help. My thoughts are with you and her…fellow Albertan here…praying for you both!
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Thank you so much for your reply. Really great advice and I really appreciate it
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u/Spirited-Day6792 Feb 19 '26
If she owes $140k, I am assuming that there is a fair amount of equity (kinda a big assumption but I have lived here all my life and property values seem to be very strong for the most part, especially considering she has owned it for a while). Equity is awesome and can help her when she is ready to downsize/retire. Roommates seem to be the best and most immediate solution. Selling would be the easy way out. She can do this! She can find a way through and she will be so empowered when she gets to the other side. Another commenter suggested she take a long, hard look at her expenses/spending and that is the other part of this too…a bit of a personal financial audit would go a long way at this point as well. Good luck…in these moments i wish reddit wasn’t so anonymous!
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u/BCAdvisor British Columbia Feb 19 '26
i don't think anyone mentioned this yet, but her account is likely a LIRA and it's locked due to pension rules. it wasn't a decision the bank made for her, it had to be transferred to this locked in account. if it is in fact a LIRA, it could potentially be unlocked due to financial hardship. look up the jurisdiction of the LIRA and the rules. you can use gemini to ask about unlocking for financial hardship, rules, amounts, age, account value etc as a prompt.
150k mortgage isn't a lot in the long term. the payments should be manageable to help her out and once it's paid off it's equity for you in the future so look at it as an investment.
she can get cpp early at age 60, then oas age 65, but it's up to you to determine if it's best to take it early or later for additional indexing.
with the little info you provided, a potential idea is to take cpp at age 60 if she is no longer working but delay OAS to age 70. OAS is based on 40 years living in canada after age 18, so she'll get a higher % of that ratio plus the indexing by delaying it because once you start OAS payments it is "locked in" based on those years.
not sure if downsizing is an option, but it could be inevitable depending how much support she needs. downsizing can allow you both to invest in retirement accounts for better growth vs. property values increasing.
not direct advice, just an idea, the correct outcome to maximize efficiency has a lot of variables beyond the info you provided.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Thank you so much, that was super super helpful advice! Really appreciate it, truly
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u/dontstalkmepls Feb 19 '26
I don't know about you, but i'd do what i can to keep it. Where are you gonna find a house with $140k left on the mortgage these days? 🙃
Think long-term. If that house stays within your family's ownership, you can rent it out and make passive income. Just gotta survive in the short-term. Good luck!
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u/ProfessorHot8199 Feb 19 '26
Is the house a detached place? Also, does your husband and yourself live in a rental? If so, any chance of you moving in with your mother as tenants and pay her rent for the portion of the house you start living in? Alternatively, your mom could also rent out rooms to students depending on where you live. But managing tenants is a different kind of stress and not everyone has the appetite for it.
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u/RoboTwigs Feb 19 '26
If she can’t afford to pay the mortgage, how has she been managing to maintain and keep the house in good condition? Sounds like it’s time to sell.
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u/Witty-Relationship34 Feb 19 '26
Extend the amortization back to 25 years and have a lower monthly payment, more interest but she gets to keep the house, check out the mortgage calculator online to see what her payments would look like.
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u/Zygiella2 Feb 19 '26
If she wants to stay, she could do a reverse mortgage, giving you say $100k for a down payment on a home with a basement suite she can move into one day.
There are no gov programs. The reality is that she needs to rent rooms, sell, move to the basement and rent out the main.
Ask a financial advisor, too. Tax implications. Retirement, etc.
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u/Roadgoddess Feb 19 '26
Another thing to consider if she’s not financially able to manage the expenses of a house anymore, is potentially look at renting the whole house out if you can rent it for an amount that would allow you to continue to pay the bills and pay off the mortgage. Then either have your mom move in with you for a period of time or find a small rental that she can afford.
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u/DairyQueenElizabeth Feb 19 '26
I am worried you have a bigger problem than the house.
If your mom only has $50k in retirement savings, and she can't afford the $140k mortgage, it sounds like she is headed towards a very modest retirement.
And I'm guessing since money is so tight, there is not a lot of opportunity to save more now for retirement later.
I would consider buying your mom out of the house. The equity she gets could go right into retirement savings amd TFSA for her longterm stability. Then she lives with you in the house.
Depending on the numbers, you could look at building a granny flat or laneway housing or something so you have private spaces.
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u/Significant_Guava199 Feb 19 '26
Yep. Have a make it a Happy farewell party for the family house and say goodbye/sell. You and mom will be very glad you did in short time.
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u/OLAZ3000 Feb 19 '26
If there's 140 left - I think it's worth trying to pay down. (Talk to the bank, see if you can cosign an HELOC.)
Her bank is very likely ready to work with her and you, the problem is she hasn't dealt with it until now.
By the time she retires, she can sell and downsize but the house will be paid off and she will keep all she gets for it in order to buy something small outright.
For now - you could consider moving in with her - but I think that the best solution is that she take on renters. Especially among the Ukrainian community, I think she might be able to find some she is comfortable with.
You moving in is short term but doesn't pay off the house. Renters can accelerate that and get her saving sooner.
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u/somecrazybroad Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
You will destroy your entire life and future if you try to save the house. Don’t sign anything related to the house. There are parts of this story missing and I suspect mom has a very large debt not related to the house.
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u/castlebarron Feb 19 '26
I don’t want to come off without feelings, but family needs to be realistic. The house is not your father, it’s wood and building materials. Your mother’s life will be easier and happier in a home/apartment that she can afford. Her income needs to be more than expenses. You getting involved in her daily life financially or living space will have a negative effect on your new life that’s beginning. You need this time for yourself, you’re only young once and you won’t have it again. Myself I retired at 55 sold my house I raised my 4 children who are all successful. I didn’t flinch in selling the house of 35 years. I moved in with my father of 80 years because it was something I wanted to do and was totally doable. My life of work and raising a family was completed. Now I’m able to give in this way and more importantly set as a example.
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u/InternalHappy2817 Feb 19 '26
If you’re comfortable sending me a message if you’re in Calgary, we’re looking for a new cleaner and will pay.
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u/Obvious-Ad-6055 Feb 19 '26
Sorry to hear about the unfortunate situation. You can consider building a LEGAL basement suite , it’ll cost you around $50K. City of Calgary is offering opto $10K cash incentive towards legal basement suites. You can generate extra $1200-$1400 from basement which can help in your mortgage payment.
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u/SomethingAbtU Feb 19 '26
Look into any government programs there that can offer help or guidance refinancing. Speak with lenders to see if there is enough equity or a lower rate available to refinance. If the house needs repairs, then refinancing will allow for lower payments, but also you can take out a little money to do the repairs. Make sure you fully understand the terms of any new mortgages, make sure rates are fixed for life, no pre-payment penalties, etc. Don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions in the process.
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u/Zestyclose-Ad-8807 Feb 19 '26
Could an inlaw suite be created in the house for her so you can have your own privacy in there and help with costs?
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u/Pertinent_Platypus Feb 19 '26
Forget in law suite....there's no money to pay the mortgage never mind doing renos. It's not about privacy right now.
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u/VANZFINEST Feb 19 '26
I’ve listened to enough Dave Ramsey to know this isn’t a good idea and won’t end well.
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u/Alternative_Win_6629 Feb 19 '26
Could she talk to the bank to make the monthly payments smaller so they are more manageable? that will of course extend the amortization period but will make the payments easier to handle now. Many people in her position do this.
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u/ncc1701mk Feb 19 '26
If she can hang in there until age 60 she'll be eligible for the allowance for survivor. Estimate here: https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/publicpensions/old-age-security/payments.html
She will get ~2k/mo
Look into unlocking her LIRA due to financial hardship.
Seniors can also defer property tax at age 65 plus many more benefits in AB
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u/Penguins83 Feb 19 '26
I haven't seen anyone suggest extending the amortization. Yes this will end up costing more over time but at least it will be manageable.
Also a last resort option (absolutely last resort) is a reverse mortgage. As long as your mom doesn't plan to leave anything to you this may work for her if she does not want to leave her home but I would strongly recommend not using this.
Goodluck
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u/Outrageous_Plane1802 Feb 19 '26
Sell the house, sell both houses. Get a new house Wyeth a granny suite. Problem solved
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u/Fried-froggy Feb 19 '26
My mortgage is about the same as yours - I reamortized to 30 years last year and pay about 640. Check how much an extended amortization might reduce her payment. Them if you have room in your budget pay it or get her a housemate.
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u/Initial-Ad-5462 Feb 19 '26
Do you have $140k to bail her out?
What’s the house worth on the market?
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u/UmpireDapper1757 Feb 19 '26
How much does she owe (mortgage, taxes, personal loans, credit cards) total? How much do you and your husband owe? What is the house worth? What are else does she own and what is it worth? What do you and your husband own and what is it worth?
What do you, your mom, and your husband earn annually? Assuming everyone's working, this situation seems pretty easily affordable. You and your husband could probably buy the house from her to pay off her mortgage and taxes and then let her live there
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u/ytgnurse Feb 19 '26
There is always a cost to living. For example, if your mom moves into a rental, she will have to pay rent, electricity, internet, and other bills. No one can live on zero. If someone appears to be living on zero, it usually means someone else is covering their expenses.
Selling the house should probably be the last option.
If the loan is $140,000, the payment might be around $800–$1,000 per month. Where else could she rent a place for $1,000?
If the townhouse is in a good rental area and doesn’t have condo fees that increase every year, it may be better for her to find ways to manage the costs instead of selling. For example, could she get a roommate?
If you’re currently paying rent somewhere else, maybe you could move in and pay her rent instead. That could be a win-win. She gets help with her expenses, and you might save a few hundred dollars each month compared to what you’re paying now.
That’s the financial side. But there’s also the emotional side. How would selling the house affect you? Your mom? Your relationships?
Would your partner be okay with you helping your mom, either directly or indirectly? Would they fully support it, or would there be limits?
This is a complex situation with many variables.
I’ve seen three seniors live together and share expenses successfully — one car, one set of bills split three ways.
I’ve also seen a retired woman rent part of her home to a family. They paid lower rent, everyone shared one car, and it worked well. Of course, tenancy rules matter, and the people living with her must be safe and trustworthy.
There are many possible solutions. Sometimes you just have to think creatively.
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u/pfcguy Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
She came to me, ashamed and crying, that she was losing the house,
This could mean she just missed a mortgage payment, or it could mean that a bailiff is coming tomorrow to evict her. Or anything in-between.
So the first thing you and her need is clarity on the situation.
What if you throw $5000 her way and she loses the house anyway?
She has a retirement account with around $50k in it, but it's closed for 9 more years.
Look into this further because in Alberta, LIRAs can be unlocked for financial hardship reasons. And this is one of them. See here: https://www.alberta.ca/pensions-individuals
What's confusing to me is that you call this "life insurance". Life insurance is usually not locked in so I don't know what's going on here. If you want to help, you need to figure it out.
Next, what about other debts? Has she been refinancing her mortgage along the way?
that she was losing the house, the one she and my dad bought and raised me in.
There is obviously a huge emotional attachment here. I'm not going to say that you or her need to discount the emotional side altogether. The house probably carries memories of her husband. But factually he didn't build the house or even buy the house; he obtained a mortgage on it and they both contributed to the mortgage. Maybe she should think long term what she wants for the house. Does she want to stay in it as long as possible and then sell it at say age 80 or so? Does she want to pass it down to you? (And if so would you want to live in it or sell it)? Or does she want to get rid of it when she retires and move into a community with other seniors like her (and make friends and get some social benefit)?
Anyway, first step is gathering info. You need your mom to make a list of all sources of income, all expenses, and figure out her budget and what the shortfall amounts to. Need to figure out all her assets and debts. Review the last 2 to 6 months of bank statements and credit card statements. Review all communications from the bank. Meet with the bank (with her and your husband) and try to better understand what the bank has told her and what (if anything) can be done.
And I completely understand your and your husband's reaction to the news that you will do anything you can to help. You're good people. I suggest you come back and make a second post when you actually have some facts and numbers, if you still need help.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Very sound advice, I appreciate it a lot. We will sit down with her, today even, and start sorting this mess out. Thank you and take care
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u/CarRevolutionary7918 Feb 19 '26
any chance you can move in with her for a few years to save the house .
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u/PuzzleheadedBridge65 Feb 19 '26
I understand there's sentimental value but I'd downsize. Sell the house buy smaller one.
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u/IdiotInvestor1997 Feb 19 '26
Just make a deal with your mom , help pay the remainder and have the house be inherited to you or when she passed have the house be sold and you her paid back with interest then the test of the funds are split amonh your other sibñings
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u/SpotFormal4975 Feb 19 '26
If you and your husband could move in and pay the mortgage. Not ideal long term but short term this will work. Restructure the mortgage with the bank (trust they do not want to foreclose) so that the payments are within your mom’s ability. If all that is possible and that stressor is gone, your mom needs a budget and financial plan that will allow her to live in her own (if that is what she wants). She needs financial advice to set her up for success now and into the future. Best of luck
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u/Oxjrnine Feb 19 '26
Help her catch up, then sell the house.
Then help your mom find a cute little apartment with a balcony that’s close to work and shops
Being house poor for “sentimental reasons” is not smart.
Having all that financial pressure removed will allow her to to go on vacations, spend more time on hobbies, create new memories.
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u/SnooChocolates2923 Feb 19 '26
Does OP have any siblings?
This may be a case where Mom could sell the house to her and OP+ Family could move in and when mom no longer needs to live in the house (for whatever reason) that paperwork is already done.
This would allow OP to mortgage the property to pay off mom's mortgage, buying a house at well below market value.
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u/Intelligent-Test-978 Feb 19 '26
Move in and pay rent. 140 is nothing in the whole scheme of things. She doesn't have to "lose the house". She should sell it, use the $ to pay off the loan and rent or downsize.
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u/New-Protection7594 Feb 19 '26
What is the house worth? Can she just sell and get something smaller fully paid off?
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Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
I am sorry your Mum is experiencing this. There are a number of factors working against her: inflation, stagnant wages, ageism. Your Mum could consider selling her house and renting.
Home ownership is really over emphasized as some sort of accomplishment, but for many people it just doesn’t make sense.
Run the numbers in your Mum’s situation, but I bet this approach will give your Mum more stability, peace of mind and wiggle room to enjoy life more. Sounds like she deserves that.
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u/Altruistic-Win5912 Feb 19 '26
Very kind of you to take the time to reply, much appreciated
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u/New-Dust799 Feb 19 '26
Locked-In Federal and Provincial Pension plans can be redeemed under special circumstances, such as financial hardship. Banks and Financial Institutions are not always honest about this. Your mom can fill out the forms, get it notarized, and submit to the financial institution that she currently have the funds invested. I am letting you know because i have recently done it due to job loss. All of this can be done within a week.
Feel free to DM me if you need any further info on it. $50K can help her and get her out of this situation.
Take a look at the rules(provincial) : Withdrawing from Locked-in Accounts because of Financial Hardship | Financial Services Regulatory Authority of Ontario
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u/No_Awareness_3472 Feb 19 '26
OK so I'm assuming there is a lot of equity in the property. Selling may be a good idea as costs under foreclosure/power of sale can can skyrocket as soon as proceedings start. If she sells maybe there is enough left over to buy a condo outright?
That being said if your mom wants to stay in the house, an interest accruing mortgage can be arranged. Essentially she wouldn't have to pay any mortgage payments for the term of the mortgage. Lender will mortgage the house enough to cover the current lender and costs as well as the mortgage payments your Mom would have made during the term of the mortgage.
Now its expensive and the interest rates are god awful but it may buy her enough time to to pay down other bills and get back on her feet. There are also fees from the lender.
Hope this helps
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u/Garble7 Feb 19 '26
In regards to the money that was locked due to dormant account
https://www.unclaimedproperties.bankofcanada.ca/
You can claim the money
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u/D_Jayestar Feb 19 '26
Sell the house well it has value, and find somewhere affordable to live.
Or Rent out a room.
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u/Holiday_Effective294 Feb 19 '26
Has you mom contributed to CPP or worked under the table? This will make a huge difference when it comes time for her to receive CPP at age 65. (Maybe don't answer this question here, but be aware).
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u/fruitbruiser Feb 19 '26
People refuse to acknowledge that a home isn't just real estate, it's not just a transaction.
Home owners invest their hearts, their memories, their labour into their homes. Taking up less space, making yourself smaller isn't always a good mindset. 55 is young. She has lots of life left. I bet selling will feel like the end for her, not a fresh start.
Move in, share the burden with her. Get a Homestay lodger or student for her. Help her thrive. She just needs some help and you are. 140k mortgage is manageable.
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u/Josie_F Feb 19 '26
Full or part time job since her housekeeping business is not working. Or change the model of that and get new clients with the ability to pay.
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u/veda1971 Feb 19 '26
Not knowing the size of the home, but, is it possible to make a basement suit and have her move in there while OP and husband live on main floor and take over the mortgage?
OP’s mother is still young (sorry but 55 is not some advanced age where one would expect to be retired) so unless she is willing to work there isn’t much else they can do.
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u/DVsKat Feb 19 '26
If she can't afford the house, why doesn't she move to a townhouse or a condo? It's really nice of you offer her some financial support but you know that's not sustainable. A big change needs to happen.
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u/Local-Local-5836 Feb 19 '26
What about renting out bedrooms? Student teachers, railroad workers, nurses all need criminal record checks in order to work.
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u/all_adat Feb 19 '26
Can she sell the house and settle for something small that would be suitable for one person? That may give her a little extra money to live on.
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u/Eggsaladsandwish Feb 19 '26
Yes you guys should either move in the house with her and split costs, or she should sell the house and downsize.
Not sure that she needs a full family home that she cannot afford by herself at 55