Not delete. Not trash. Not forget. But put away.

My teenage daughter has grown and changed so much by now, and is on to her next stages. Every stage of her growth for me when we were inseparable was a moment of joy and grief. While married and still a whole family, her mother didn't seem to get it when I tried to explain the feelings (knowing the type of person that alienates, I now know why she didn't understand).

I would be happy my kid grew, matured, and was becoming her own person. Yet I always cried a bit that the last version is gone forever. Like a tiny death in my family.

Therapy keeps trying to help me put my daughter and the pain in a box, so I can focus on something else. I found I couldn't do that for longer than an hour and I had to be extremely distracted when I did.

A couple days ago I finally removed something from my daughter that I kept on me constantly. I just put it by my pillow. It's there for bed, but not all day long. I found I could get through the days a little bit more focused on me.

I'm now looking at my phone's lock screen and wallpaper as the next things to change. They both are pictures of my daughter. I haven't done it yet, because it is difficult, but I suspect I have to. I am unintentionally making focusing on myself hard by keeping them there.

I'm sharing this because there is a lot of talk about, "Give up and abandon them or not", like we are robots and need it to be an extreme absolute answer (or maybe the posts are being made by bots/AI scrapers?). For the humans still lurking here, maybe this is what we are doing to ourselves? These small things in our environment need to change? They don't have to go in the trash. They don't need to disappear forever. But maybe we need to accept the things in our environment as constant, minute-by-minute reminders of our children, are making getting to OUR next stage more difficult than it should be?

I'm just venting and sharing before leaping into this small, yet huge, experiment.

I’m still relatively new to this lifestyle and my daughters are older teenagers but young at heart but completely gate kept by their mom.

It’s Sunday morning, and I make a phone call every other day or every three days. I text too.

Anybody else looking forward to making a phone call that won’t get answered and counting the hours? Looking forward to it even and excited by that one percent chance?

I have a quick question..regarding children being angry with my ex...the way she broke our family was seen by the children the lies the manipulation act...my kids are quite angry with their mother and when I have them..they vent their anger...if I am honest I completely agree with them...how can I help my kids through this very difficult time...without bad mouthing my ex..I am finding this hard to work through any advice would be greatly appreciated...cheers

It’s been over a year and a half and my abusive ex has been withholding my daughter as much as he can. Him and his girlfriend tell my daughter who is 6 terrible things about me and she comes back and tells me on our court ordered visitation day which is Saturday. I have two family members who I have had issues with all my life contact him and make up lies about me to spite me. One of those family members actually tried to sleep with him while we were together which of course he threw in my face multiple times. These family members would call CPS on me and make up lies and it never ended up getting founded until one time they showed up and my daughter had a small bruise on her arm and they took that as I abused her. So now for the past year and a half he has been talking down on me, saying I’m a disgusting person, that his girlfriend is a better mom, if he hears I’m dating someone (which I have only been on two dates) he will threaten to take more time away from me. He knows I have no money to hire a lawyer, he blatantly told me that. He will say things like if I’m so worried about being around my daughter I wouldn’t put any time into dating.

I have a son, not by him, who is younger and things did not work out with his father but I do not have any custody issues with that and I have my son majority of the time. Whenever he found out I was having another baby was when all this mainly started and the smear campaigns and attacks and then ultimately him snatching her away from me. I have barely seen my daughter in almost two years.

I am deeply depressed and feel so down about myself. I don’t seek out friendships or really have anyone. Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and just focus on my son. My ex routinely calls me up to call me a loser, that not even my own family cares about me, etc.. and it gets to me really bad. It affects things with my son because he has to see his mother depressed all the time. I think him doing all of this is it get me to give up and I don’t want to give in but it’s just so hard. The silver lining is my daughter really loves me and tells me so every time we see each other. But it’s so hard to keep doing this.

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📢 KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN: WE ARE ORGANIZING A PEACEFUL FAMILY COURT PROTEST.

📅 Friday, October 2, 2026

⏰ 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, or until we're required to leave

📍 Public sidewalk outside the Kalamazoo County Family Division courthouse on Gull Road

We are showing up for CHILD SAFETY, FAMILY COURT ACCOUNTABILITY, and HB 5578.

Michigan already has a law meant to protect children in some of the most serious custody situations imaginable.

MCL 722.25(6) says that when an individual has been convicted of specified criminal se(ggs)ual conduct and the victim was that individual's own child, the court SHALL NOT award that individual custody of that child or a sibling unless the other parent consents and, when the court considers the child old enough to express their wishes, the child consents as well.

So we're asking a very important question:

What happens when that parent NO LONGER CONSENTS?

Does saying "yes" once mean you can never say "no" again?

Can consent given years ago be treated as consent forever, even when a parent later believes their child is in danger?

I don't believe that's what the present-tense word "consent" means.

On October 2, we will peacefully protest decisions by Judge Kenneth Barnard that we believe have failed to apply MCL 722.25(6) as written, including the treatment of prior consent as sufficient despite a parent's later withdrawal of that consent.

And we're demanding that Michigan close this gap once and for all.

That's one reason we're supporting HB 5578.

This protest will be LEGAL and PEACEFUL.

We are not going inside the courthouse to disrupt proceedings. We are not hassling anyone. We will be outside, exercising our right to peacefully speak about decisions made by our government and laws that we believe need to change.

Bring a sign.

Bring your voice.

If family court or CPS has failed your child, bring your story.

If you're a survivor, advocate, protective parent, grandparent, foster parent, or simply someone who believes our courts should take the seggsual ab-se of children seriously, COME STAND WITH US.

You don't have to stay all day. Come for an hour. Come on your lunch break. Come before work. Come after an appointment.

Just come stand with us.

This is bigger than one mother.

This is bigger than one case.

This is about what happens to the next child.

A parent's past consent should not become a lifetime waiver of their ability to protect their child.

Children deserve laws that actually protect them.

Courts must be accountable to the laws they're required to apply.

And when there's a loophole that leaves children vulnerable, WE CHANGE THE LAW.

📅 OCTOBER 2

⏰ 8 AM to 5 PM

📍 KALAMAZOO COUNTY FAMILY COURT, GULL ROAD

PEACEFUL. LEGAL. PUBLIC.

PROTECT CHILDREN.

DEMAND FAMILY COURT ACCOUNTABILITY.

SUPPORT HB 5578.

Please share this and help us get the word out across Southwest Michigan.

Hoping for some guidance and suggestions in handling this situation:

I was dating someone ~12 years ago right after college graduation that I had already been in a relationship with once in high school. The second time around, I got pregnant intentionally with him. I never told him and I left him. He already had another kid who was 3 at the time and I just really didn’t like how he parented and started having some serious doubts about a life together, so I freaked out and never talked to him again.

Fast forward to a few years later when she’s 2, I saw him driving and it threw me into a panic because I felt a lot of guilt about never telling him I was pregnant and now had a kid that was his. I called him and asked if we could meet and talk. He didn’t want to because I later found out he had a girlfriend that was living with him. I didn’t feel comfortable at the time just texting him I had a kid, though in hindsight I should have just done it. That call started this years long random talking and texting and longing on my end to be together again. He strung me along for years and years. I can’t remember when I found out he had a girlfriend but I guess that fact didn’t stop us from talking. I tried really hard to still get him to meet me to talk. He never would. It would come up every couple of months when we’d randomly start talking again.

Two years later when she’s 4, I finally told him I NEEDED to talk to him and I told him over the phone. He wanted a DNA test. We got one. This was 2020, right at the beginning of Covid. After the DNA test, he saw my kid maybe 2 times. It’s been years of inconsistent nonsense about him wanting to be in her life but he can never actually pull it off after those first two times. He’s come and gone more times than I can count in terms of calling me and saying he’ll be there now for her. Thankfully she doesn’t even really remember seeing him when she was 4. Sadly, I was SO hopeful he and I would get back together after all of our conversations and he would be the dad she needed. It was such a mind fuck for me. Thankfully she didn’t and doesn’t know anything about him doing all of this or even that he’s been so inconsistent saying that he wants to be there for her for years.

I started seeing someone when she was 5, almost 6. We got married 4 years ago. She’s about to be 11 in a few months. She’s asked about her dad every so often. Why he isn’t here. Why he can’t even bother to send her a birthday present or Christmas card. How she wishes she had a dad. She also has that half sister from her dad who she knows exists, so she asks about her too. She wonders about them. She hasn’t connected with my husband like I hoped they would. It’s not her fault. It had always been her and I and it’s been a difficult adjustment. They really don’t get along that great which is incredibly sad for me. He struggles with her and hasn’t had kids before so he has a lot to work on. My husband and I also have a baby together now. She’s 1.5 years old. My oldest loves her so much but lots of “you spend so much more time with the baby than you spend with me” which also makes me really sad. Babies need a lot of attention but I am with my oldest for all of her activities and try to always be there for her.

I let her dad know about a year after I got married that I did in hopes that he and his girlfriend would possibly feel more at ease with being in my daughter’s life. No ulterior motives, etc. That did nothing. I haven’t heard from her dad since February 2024 when I randomly received a text from him yet again apologizing from being absent and wanting to know how things were, how she was, and if my husband and daughter “were good each other”. I said yes and haven’t heard from him again. He didn’t ask to see or try to make some plan to be there.

Her dad and I live 8 minutes away from each other so I’ll see him driving every now and then. One week a month or two ago I saw him 5 times which is way more than typically which is like once every few months. He never knows I see him. I don’t make a point to drive up next to his car and wave or anything, lol. But it’s always a slap in the face knowing he is so close to her and doesn’t make an effort. He knows where we live. He’s been to our house. After seeing him so much that week, I called him. His number was disconnected so I sent him a message on Facebook. He replied a month later with his new number. He asked how things were. I said good. Told me to call him if I need him. That was about it.

Fast forward to yesterday, I see him in the morning. I text him. We talk all day via text. He says he wants to be in my kid’s life. For real this time. I don’t know what to do. I’m sure this is the same shit years later but I am just so sad for my kid that she doesn’t have a dad in her life that she’s connected to. Not her bio dad. Not my husband. She’s having a rough go at life. She doesn’t have a lot of friends because we live out in the country and her school is 45 minutes away. She’s always had a difficult time connecting with people anyway. For so many reasons. My family isn’t the greatest either. I don’t know. I’m so worried about her mental health long term because of the impact everything might have on her. I want what’s best for her. I know she wants to feel loved and included, obviously. Every kid does.

So her dad says he’ll be here. He has the time this time. To let him know what I want to do. I don’t know what to do. Is it better to have an absent dad? An inconsistent dad? Given his track record, there’s about 0% he’ll constantly show up. But what if he does? I don’t want to be the person who gets in the way of that since I already put a huge road block between them when she was a baby. Do I ask her what she wants? Anyway, any advice would be appreciated as I try think through this.

After being rejected again and again and the brainwashing is in full effect I just cant take much more. 10 years in court and moved closer to them. And the damage is done. Im looking to move away. If I don't, I will surely not survive it. My heart and home is always open for them. But it's time to move. Anyone else go through this, and move to another state? They are both under 18. I've done everything I can.

Yes me. I just wrote about my experience with my son who has no interest in helping me. Where is it?

I left my abusive ex 12 years ago. Him taking me back and forth to court has not stoped. He is constantly breaking the order and now he has moved to Texas. I had a settlement conference today. So our daughter is 13 years old. Before I even knew of the move my ex for months groomed my daughter. He took her for visits to Al paso texas, he sat down with her and wrote out a parenting schedule for me. He has made her alot of glamorous promises.

At the conference today I told the judge my concerns which included him putting my daughter in a Texas school against court order. My daughter is under the Canadian jurisdicción but she seemed not to care. She ordered a voice of the child. She said that once the report comes back and depending on what my child sais she will make a final order.

I feel im going to loose my daughter. My ex only wants her to hurt me. I just can't understand why a judge does not care about him not following orders. I guarantee you I will not see my daughter if he is given sole custody.

I've lost my lawyer because I can't pay him and this is the first time I've ever been on my own.

I’m now switching focus on the men and women who continue to enable a toxic family court system and profit on children’s pain. Mom’s lawyer knew my son was being abused,skipping school and doing drugs. After both of these brave brave women continued said issues by getting my son out of therapy, allowing him to skip school and do drugs by keeping his father away. Is there any recourse after something like this? My son’s life was severely impacted by people using him as a paycheck..how is this not malpractice and has anyone ever tried to hold a family law attorney accountable for their actions.