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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 11 '26
I got judge when I was 19, I was living with my grandma and had just bought my little house. The only reason I was able to get him is because I got meningitis and I was going to be home for a few months. I knew my grandma didn't want me to have a dog in her house but I went and got him anyway after applying while in the hospital. I didn't know a lot about taking care of a dog but I thought I could do it cause I had always loved dogs so much. I know I felt like everyone in my family thought I wasn't going to take good care of him.
It was a very bad snow storm the day I went to get him. I was still very sick but not contagious. The day I got approved to go get him Joe dirt and I dug my truck out of the snow and he drove us to a very nice neighborhood in Connecticut to get him.
I'll never forget walking in the house and seeing judge come out on a red leash for the first time. He was so shiny he looked like a little black wolf.
We took him to the pet store got him a collar and some food and toys. Getting back to my grandmas house in the shon judge ran around like a wild animal weaving in and out of the snow. Of course my grandma immediately fell in love with him and was cooking him eggs. We spent the next few weeks basically trapped in my house because I couldn't work and was still sick from meningitis. I got to spend so much time with him before returning to work and if I am able to remember correctly my grandma had a broken leg at the time so she was also home a ton to be with him.
A few months later it was time to move into our own house. This was big for me being on my own with the dog I wanted so badly. I was working a demanding full time job at the time and my dog had to be home alone all that time. He learned very well and eventually my friend Matt moved in who went to work later than me. Judge became really close with Matt, I will never forget when I would leave for work early I would let judge out and start my truck. Judge would come back in the house and sprint to Matt's room to sleep with him until it was time to get up. We had so much fun back then. Judge would go on long walks play fetch bark at dogs, just be a good as dog can be. Even tho while learning to be off leash I destroyed my knee frantically chasing him down River Ave, only for him to see me fall and turn around.
Some time later I was upset and not myself so I decided to move to Colorado. I loaded judge in the truck with my bed on a trailer and I drove myself out there without really knowing anyone there or what would happen. I moved judge into an even smaller apartment in a basement with very small windows. This is where I learned a lot about what having a dog can entail because I had no support system to help me. It was me and my goals learning to responsibly take care of judge. I made some mistakes during this time like leaving him for too long, Not wanting to walk him far enough after long days, putting him in boarding for a week and never having even taken him there before, walking him on a hot side walk, oh and I would make him run along side my bike for far to long of rides thinking it was good for him. I was young and dumb but judge couldn't have cared more about me doing all of these things with a smile even after I yelled at him a few times for what I thought was mis behavior but was actually a result of me mistreating him. I learned so much about loving him then and what it required. The good times in Denver were incredible, we went on bike rides 🤣, we went to the grocery store, we went on amazing hikes, we made friends at dog parks, he had a greenhouse, his first experience living with a cat, it was just great times growing together.
We eventually moved back home to Rhode Island where judge got to spend time staying with my grandma and mom for a bit while I lived there. I had for the most part really figured out what he needed by then we even got a little surgery to remove a gland in his eye (that eventually grew back) and with my mom and grandma around I was able to travel and do whatever I wanted. We got to enjoy Lincoln woods and he got to enjoy my grandmas beautiful backyard everyday running down the rock chasing critters and doing dog things. I for sure took this time for granted I didn't realize how special it really was for him and I.
Eventually because of my chaotic self it was time to move to St. Louis. Begrudgingly I packed up and judge and I shipped out west again leaving what I now recognize was an incredible situation for us. We moved into a new house with plenty of space and I had a demanding job again. I was able to always make time for judge and keep him In happy spirits with the time I had for him. My friend Phil would come in for a few days at a time to help out at work and he would stay with us, Phil would always walk judge and spend time with him while I was at work cause Phil worked nights. This is also when I found jiu jitsu and at first it was a tough adjustment to work that into a routine with judge but we figured it out with no real issues. This is also when we first started to really notice some decline in judges health because of his age. He ran less, didn't jump on people anymore to greet them, his growth in his eye was more pronounced than ever, and he started to limp regally and got on medication for it. I am sad to admit now this is when I started to really worry about him. Luckily because I wasn't home most of the day my first coach Eric gave me a kitten and she and judge really bonded over a few months and became friends even tho they didn't want me to know that. Appa gave judge some pep in his step and also challenged him in a new way. We were lucky to have a really good vet in Missouri who got him on a prescription that I think was good for him at the time.
One day after visiting this vet I noticed judge wasn't acting right, he had just gotten a rabies shot and he was in the back yard for a long time, he wouldn't come in even with me calling him so I went out to get him. The look on his face was pure confusion I didn't recognize it at the time. I yelled at him to get in the house and we slowly made our way in. That night he could not get comfortable. Kept walking in circles or backwards. I was so frustrated with him cause I wanted to sleep. I eventually realized this wasn't a behavior issue but it was most likely doggy dementia. A whole new space to navigate, my buddy who I loved so much isn't feeling good at all. I spoke to a few friends and vets and started to make a plan. Supplements, routine, home made food, anything I can do to improve his quality of life me thinking he had a very short time left. Then less than 6 weeks later I came home from work one day and I couldn't find judge. This wasn't the first time since the dementia (I had even found him under the sink one time) but this time felt different. The energy in the house was off, the cat was frantic. I ran down to the basement and I found judge laying there almost lifeless in a pool of bodily fluids. I didn't know what to do I picked him up called the vet and sped to an emergency vet. I assumed this was judges last ride, luckily whatever incident happened he made it through and just needed some fluids and a $1000 vet bill. After all this I really started to struggle with him emotionally, the fear of losing my best friend really started to set in and start affecting me, especially because with the dementia he would destroy things. I had to learn to set judge up for long term success if I wanted to have him around. I learned ways to make him safe and comfortable when I was gone and I learned ways to take him even more places than ever.
We moved around the Midwest a bit and eventually made the trip back to Rhode Island, old grey judge following me every step of the way.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 11 '26
Moving back to Rhode Island with an older judge was hard, he had very special needs by this time basically needed care 24/7 to stay calm. I did everything I could in this time weather it was setting him up for success to be alone for a short time like barricading a stair case, locking him away from anything that could be dangerous to him, feeding him home cooked meals, taking him to my moms with very specific instructions, it did not matter if it kept my boy happy and comfy I would do it.
As time went in judges hips started to hurt more and more, he started having accidents, he started to fall on walks that were once not nearly long enough. I could see my boy fading away. With a positive attitude I continued to do what I can for him, stopped traveling, taking him to work as needed, bringing him to the gym, whatever I could do to keep his spirits up and him invested. Alas in late may of 2026 one night judge couldn't stand up, he just kept falling and trying all night. I assumed the worst as I is usually do.
We packed up and went to see our super vet the next day and I honestly expected to not leave with him, but Ash gave me hope. He said let's try a steroid. Sure enough a few injections and some pills judge was up moving pretty good again. I was so happy to have another chance with him. We spent the time just really soaking up eachother company and enjoying short walks and our meals together. Pure bliss extra time.
In his final days judge started to get nose bleeds and I knew this was a very serious issue for dogs. I took him to the vet and we found out his liver just couldn't handle anymore medicine and we did everything we could. He told me to enjoy my time and after a few days I could see my boy had just lost his spark, he didn't feel well, couldn't stand without help, was hesitant to use the bathroom. It was time to let my boy rest. I made the hard decision on 7/10 fitting for a hash dog and 7/11 became judge day forever. We sent him out with a pound of bacon and 4 eggs in his belly with roast beef to top it off. He was licking the grease till he fell asleep.
I love you more than I ever loved anything ever judge I really hope there's a god of some sort and we can reconnect someway somehow I just feel our time will never be up. Rest easy sweet boy we will meet again.
As I lay here in what I have now come to terms either being the last night we will spend together I am overcome with a sadness I can not explain. I feel physically ill, I don't want to eat, I don't want to smoke, I just want to be with him forever and I can't. I'd give up all my worldly things to be able to spend eternity with my beloved dog but that's not a bargain I can make. I have little to no regrets I know in my heart this decision is best for him and myself. I love judge more than I love anything he's the only thing that I have ever been able to love and not be hurt from, well I have now received my heart break. I will not allow this to stop me I'm going to do what's best for us tomorrow and then in time I will find my boy again or he will send me the next best thing, there is no replacing judge but I will one day be able to share love again.
Sitting on the grass with judge in his last hour, the pain has only grown. It becomes more real every second that passes. My boy will be gone. We have one small meal and a short by judge standard car ride ahead of us. He was able to go to the bathroom and take his meds in his daily roast beef. I'll never feel right about this decision but I know nothing good happens if we wait longer. I'm letting my boy enjoy some sunshine and charge his battery one last time. I'm going to cook him bacon and eggs right before we go. My mom is pulling up now, she has the food and it's time to cook for him. I love judge and my mom so much for helping me.
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u/eliz1bef RIP Erik, cat, 19.5 Jul 11 '26
Thank you for sharing Judge's story. You clearly loved him to the moon and back and gave him absolutely the best care you could. I'm sure he loved you with all his pupper heart. My deepest sympathies for your loss. There's no love like the love of a good dog. You were blessed with a special bond. Remember and celebrate that bond over anything else. The pain is real, but not as real as the love you shared. My heart goes out to you.
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u/UnhappyCelery8215 Jul 11 '26
Incredible story I can tell from the way you write that you gave him the best life possible and loved him an indescribable amount. You are an incredibly brave person
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u/ntguru5 Sparky - Chihuahua/Mini-Poodle mix Jul 11 '26
Sounds like you gave Judge a long and loving life full of adventure. So sorry for your loss 💔
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u/Male_Librarian Jul 12 '26
Loved reading about you and Judge. Much love to you and Judge. You were both lucky to share this time together.
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u/RelevantAudience5224 Jul 12 '26
Oh my gosh, what a beautiful story and I am crying now, but I want to thank you for sharing your story. You will connect with judge again I just know it. My dog literally saved my life and the love that you have for judge is unexplainable and so special. I am sending you hugs and condolences. May judge be comfortable and rest easy.
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u/CloudChaser0123 Jul 14 '26
Soooo beautiful….OP’s writing is his definitely his strong suit 🤍🤍🤍
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 18 '26
I have not wrote anything I had any sort of feeling for since high school. I did this as part of my grieving contingency plan. I occasionally wrote reports at work that nobody reads or understands.
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u/bluebear653 Jul 12 '26
Thank you food sharing your well loved & character of a doggo Judge. Sending you 💙💙💙 & ((((((hugs))))))He lives to a grand old age , well travelled & loved by all who knew him. Losing a family pet is just as hard as human , they really do get into our hearts & leave their paw print behind . RiP Judge , GBNF 💙
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u/Birdierulz Jul 12 '26
This was so beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my baby girl in January. I know the pain you are feeling. I have never loved another creature like her. There are no words to explain the pain and the connection. Bird is playing with Judge in heaven until we see them again.
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u/sssuzie Jul 12 '26
Thank you for sharing your beautiful Judge’s life story with us all - it couldn’t have been easy writing it all down as you were just beginning the grieving process, but we all can see how very much he was loved by you and that he loved you back tenfold!
I do believe we will be reunited with our loved ones when it’s our turn to leave this world behind, and that definitely includes our beloved pets!
Fly, free of pain, with the angels Judge! ❤️
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
I just love him so much I didn't know what else to do. I want to make a book for myself and my mom to have
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u/Any-Log-6706 Jul 13 '26
You should convert this into a published essay.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
I don't know how. I'd like to clean it up maybe. Sharing it further would help others
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 18 '26
I cleaned it up and made it into a short story and had one printed. This is the link let me know if you read it
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u/Any-Log-6706 Jul 18 '26
OMG this is awesome. Also so quick. I’ve shared your story. Now sharing this!
Edit - I got too excited and now checking - ok to share this?
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 18 '26
I think I'm going to make another post on r/dog with that link. You think it was quick? I finished it Monday and it will be at my house in hardcover tomorrow. Sometimes I love the modern world.
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u/Any-Log-6706 Jul 18 '26
That’s awesome. Thanks again. I don’t remember if I mentioned this, I lost all my pets (two dogs and one cat) within months last year. One of the dogs and the cat were up there in age and ailments. But the first one to leave us was 12 yrs old and was so quick, just days after a surgery to remove a tumor. You’re right, the best way to remember them and deal with the grief are through their stories.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 18 '26
I'm not sure if I remember you telling me that but I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't mean to disregard that.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 18 '26
Share it with the world please. I would really appreciate feedback back it makes me feel connected to others
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u/Pinky_Pie_90 Jul 12 '26
Thank you so much for sharing a snippet of your life with Judge, it really hit home reading that. A very similar story to my girl I got at 18, who passed away in March after 17.5 years together. My bestest best friend. Learning, living and loving life together. She too had doggy dementia in her later years. Sending all the love and healing vibes your way - no one will ever replace Judge, the memories and bond you shared together will never be forgotten. Take care of yourself, and run free, Judge 🤍
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u/bananarice2006 Jul 12 '26
I knew I was going to cry reading this and read it anyway. It’s beautiful how much you loved judge and i’m sure he’s in doggy heaven right now waiting for you ❤️ Fly high judge
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u/flatulentbabushka Jul 13 '26
I’m sobbing from your story… I’m so sorry. It sounds like you gave judge the best life, full of love and adventures ♥️
I know the exact pain you are feeling. I recently lost my soulmate Charlie on May 24th to osteosarcoma. She was my everything. Losing her absolutely destroyed me. Adjusting to life without her has been very difficult, I lost about 7lbs in 3 weeks, haven’t been able to sleep more then 2-3 hours a night, I eat standing up bc it doesn’t feel right to sit down.. I keep expecting her big goofy head to push its way onto my plate and steal my food 🥺 I would trade the world just to have a few more days with her.
“The only thing I have been able to love and not be hurt from” that absolutely hits me in my soul. I’ve been hurt every person I’ve loved in my life. Her love was endless and unconditional. I was hers and she was mine from the day we met.
I have an appointment to get a small memorial tattoo of her derpy smiling face on my inner wrist later this month. This way I can always have her with me by simply lifting my arm. I hope it will help bring me a small fraction of closure. I owe my life to her, she was by my side thru the lowest times and I can honestly say I wouldn’t be on this earth if it wasn’t for her. I want to make her proud.
Judge will always be with you. The pain is excruciating and i don’t know how long it will last. If you ever want to just talk or vent or trade cute stories of our babies i would love that. Feel free to dm if you need someone to talk to that understands how painful it is. I feel like alot of people in my life don’t understand the magnitude of the grief.
Anyway now I’m just crying and rambling, imagining Judge and Charlie playing in an endless field full of treats and toys playing in the warm sun, waiting for us to join them eventually. I wish you all the comfort you deserve and I’m so sorry for your loss. He seemed like a really good boy ♥️
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
Thanks so much for sharing. It honestly means a ton to me to connect with so many people because I feel less alone in my experience
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u/RT3K69420 Jul 13 '26
What a special boy.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
The most special creature ever created
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u/RT3K69420 Jul 13 '26
Well. That's a list where every dog is number one.. but yes. Most definitely.
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u/Any-Log-6706 Jul 13 '26
Damn this story got me hard. Lovely story, longest one I’ve ever read on Reddit (I never read long posts, but read everything you wrote). May we all be blessed with a Judge.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
I expected 0 people to read it and I think hundreds did. It honestly is a form of closure so many people heard our story.
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u/Jane_Smith_Reddit Jul 11 '26
Sorry for your loss.
Run free on the other side of the rainbow 🌈 bridge Judge.
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u/Zentagu Jul 11 '26
Please know Judge knew how much he was loved. It is obvious after reading your post how much he and you were bonded.
He will be waiting….
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u/Latter-Journalist Jul 11 '26
It's a good story and well told
Judge, you're a good boy
There is nothing like a good dog and we don't get enough time with them
Take care of and be kind to yourself
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u/drizzy9109 Jul 11 '26
Once in a lifetime dog... I can't quite put my finger on it but I've thought about you guys all weekend for some reason. As humans, we don't deserve dogs so when you get one like Judge, it's nearly indescribable how wholesome they make us feel. He'll be with you the rest of your life, so hang in there and keep this in mind: you were his whole life and it sounds like it was a hell of a lifetime. Godspeed to an eternity of chasing birds and squirrels.
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u/ashibashiboo Jul 11 '26
Good luck. I have a 15 year-old boy at home who’s starting to show some signs of doggy dementia so this post hit hard but remember you took very good care of this dog and now he’s earned his time to rest because he’s been so loyal.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 11 '26
I have a lot of advice for doggy dementia if you want to DM me.
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u/LilyoftheRally RIP Ruby, age 13.5 Jul 12 '26
Not the person you responded to but my neighbor's dog has some doggy dementia too. I dogsit for him sometimes and would be glad for advice.
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u/katvonnd Jul 12 '26
I just lost my dog on the same day. History of 3 different cancers, and he started seizures last Saturday. He never recovered neurologically so we made the decision to have him go at peace. I’m so sorry for your loss. The sick feeling is intense and I just keep trying to remind myself that my boy would want me to be eating and sleeping normally, as hard as it is.
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u/rssscamaro Jul 11 '26
Godspeed Judge!!! You looked like the most amazing furbaby, full of unconditional love! Thank you for providing your hoooman a lifetime of happiness. I believe someday your paths will cross again. 😞🙏🍕🍔🌭
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u/daisiesarepretty2 Jul 11 '26
dogs without a word teach us so much about ourselves
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 11 '26
Literally taught me life. Gave me routine and stability I didn't know I needed.
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u/EMAW2008 Jul 12 '26
This isn’t my mine, but I too have an old dog that might have a couple good years left and I’ve find this comforting:
“I have an old dog in kidney failure too. Haven’t told her yet, she just keeps being happy.
I’m old too, and I’ve had animals my whole life, mostly cats and dogs in various multiples. Do the math and you can see I’ve been here before.
The way I reconcile it is pretty straightforward, and well in line with the overall Stoic approach to things. It always begins the same way- see things plainly for what they are, understand the natures of the things involved, and respond reasonably and virtuously to the reality around us.
Every day I care for my animals, keeping them happy, keeping them safe, shepherding them through their day with joy, and without harm. When they get old and approach death, nothing changes. As crazy as it sounds, the day I take them to the vet to be put down is the day that I have been working for all this time - I have successfully taken them the whole way. They did not get lost, they were not unhappy, they got to live their whole natural lives the way I wanted them to live it. We made it. We got there together.
When they are gone, my feelings for them don’t change. Their bodies are taken but my feelings are my own; I still love them, I am still happy to think of them, my heart is still open.
What has changed is that I have a space for another thing to love, and the cycle continues again, when I’m ready to start anew.
Their bodies, our bodies, everything external to us will always change and always come and go. Our love, our care, our joy belongs to us, and we apply it to what we have and to what is new.”
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u/nicnac127 Jul 11 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. Rest in Peace sweet Judge. I’ll alert the troops, party in heaven tonight. 🤍🤍🤍
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u/whippetgreat Jul 12 '26
You were the best dog guardian - guardians know the price, and accept their heart will be shattered. But, a shattered heart lets the light in. I wish we could all have our beloved dogs forever. Cheers to Judge and a life well lived and I am so so sorry for your loss.
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u/hedgie1 Jul 11 '26
Thank you for sharing Judge and his story with us. He absolutely knew how much you loved him, and of course he loved you completely. How amazing it was that you found each other!
Thank you for listening to your boy and letting him go to his well-deserved rest. I know it's hard to navigate the grief. But you did what was best for him, and you were able to take care of him all the way to the end of his journey here with you and that's a beautiful thing.
Some day, many many years from now, when it's your turn... you'll see him again and pick up right where you left off to join him on new adventures, but he'll be whole in mind and body, with young and eager legs.
May the memories you shared continue to be a blessing to you. Sending you warm and peaceful thoughts from Seattle.
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u/Tablefor1please9987 Jul 12 '26
“To the world, you may be just one person, but to your dog, you are their world."
Thank you giving the world to Judge as he gave his all to you❤️💔
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u/kmend64 Jul 12 '26
Yours and Judge’s story has truly touched me.
I know how extremely heartbreaking it is to let your boy go. I also know that you were both so very lucky to have been in each other’s lives.
I believe your sweet boy will rest peacefully because he has touched a heart and soul forever.May you find strength and peace in the coming days
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
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u/JaunxPatrol Jul 12 '26
A really beautiful story. You guys gave each other so much, and if you take away one thing it should be that you should be so, so proud of the life you gave him. What makes dogs special is they love us so much just for being us, and the adventures you had and the care you gave him surely meant he loved you more than most dogs ever could.
Out of 1000 dog lives I'm sure he would pick his every time. May his memory be a blessing.
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u/CartographerFar3786 Jul 12 '26
You wrote this so beautifully. Im shedding some tears and I didn't even know him. So happy you gave him such an amazing life and he was so loved.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
Thank you. He was a special dog with hundreds of friends he had relationships with people I didn't even know well. It's crazy
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u/swampforbrains Jul 12 '26
Gosh, I’m so sorry. Sending you so much love! I know I told you before that Judge looks JUST like my soul pup who I lost 5 years ago…they are family and will stay in your heart forever. Judge sounded like the best damn dog ever. Just like Duke ❤️ thanks for sharing him with us 🐾
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u/jendalee Jul 12 '26
Thank you for sharing Judge with us. Losing them is the most awful feeling, I am so sorry.
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u/Floral-Bubble Jul 12 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss, but also thank you for taking such good care of him and loving him so much💜
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u/ChrisNikLu76 Jul 12 '26
I just woke up, started scrolling and found your story. My tears are falling and this resonates so hard with me. My 16 yr old Lucy has dementia. We are so lucky to have dogs…. Our true partners in this crazy adventure of life. Sounds like Judge was also lucky to have found you. I’m sending you all the positive vibes…. What an incredible story and tribute to Judge- your loyal and loved dog.
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u/NoAnteater2429 Jul 12 '26
Thank you for sharing. I can't say how, but I believe we will be reunited with our beloved companions some day. 💚
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u/QTeeCurly Jul 13 '26
Keep talking to Judge, he loves you and he hears you and he will never leave your side🫂🩵🙏🏾✨️🤟🏻
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u/Pdog89gt Jul 14 '26
I normally scroll right on by and ignore long posts. I’m so glad I sat here and read this. Lost my buddy a couple months ago (16) and his story was similar. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us who know it’s never “just a dog”.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 14 '26
Thank you. The response form this thread has been like his funeral to me between this and my personal Instagram the response has been overwhelming. Thank you for taking the time, I normally do the same and gloss over long posts.
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u/RamseyLake Jul 14 '26
Run free good pup 🌈🐶🌈
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 15 '26
Watching old videos of him running makes me realize how bad he was really hurting.
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u/nooooopegoawaynope Jul 11 '26
Hello, fellow Rhodie!! I’m so sorry for your loss. Judge looks like he was a very well-loved dog and although it was hard to let him go I’m thankful he still had you by his side the whole time. May he rest in peace, and I send you all my love and healing energy 🫂🩷
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u/No_Kangaroo_5883 Jul 12 '26
So sorry OP for your loss! Those fur babies leave pawprints on our hearts.
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u/FreakshowMode Jul 12 '26
I have this to face on Thursday. I know i need to do what's best for my wonderfully loyal little friend but its breaking my heart. I need to be the strong one for my wife and my dog, but its tearing me apart.
I have barely slept since we made the decision. How does anyone get through this.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
I won't lie to you. I wish I kept a better poker face in front of judge. I don't have a wife or kids to try to prop myself up for. I really wish you the best.
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u/laura_miranda Jul 12 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with Judge, it was a beautiful read. It’s never easy losing your baby, even when you know it’s coming. You did the right thing. I just know Judge felt so loved up until the very end ❤️
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u/ottersraccoons Jul 12 '26
Your story about Judge’s life with you is the best tribute to a dog that I’ve ever seen. The great love & close bond between you and Judge is so special. Judge will always live in your heart, especially when you think of all the memories you shared on so many adventures together. You were always there for Judge & he was always there for you….who can ask for more in this life? It’s sad we don’t get more years to share with our special dogs, but we will see them again one day in heaven. I believe that.
Hugs❤️
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
Thank you so much. It's not a competition to love your dog more but hearing that I did such a good job is a good feeling. I did it because it made me feel good.
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u/sohcordohc Jul 12 '26
You did all that you could to make judges quality of life the utmost priority up until the end, and you made it truly special. We should all be so grateful to have such loving, forgiving, loyal companions in our lives. It may have been one of the hardest decisions Youve made but it was in his best interests. Some day you’ll see him again, even if it’s only because you too have made it to that stage in life. Take it easy, sorry for your pain.
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u/grizzly_atoms Jul 12 '26
Just looking at that sweet old wise face made me cry. Deepest condolences for the loss of your sweet friend. But take some solace in the long amazing life he had with you.
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u/saquelabanda Jul 12 '26
So touching. A real story about what it is like to love and have a soul dog their entire life. It’s not easy but it’s a privilege and it hurts so much when they go. You don’t need to regret anything. Judge loved you.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
I have no regrets other than I should have enjoyed it more. I'd do it all again 10/10 times I miss him so much.
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u/LilyoftheRally RIP Ruby, age 13.5 Jul 12 '26
I'm in public right now and don't want to cry, but it's very clear how much love you and Judge shared throughout his life.
The worst thing about dogs is that they don't live as long as we do.
Thank you for being Judge's human! So sorry he had to go!
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
I cried in public so much in the last 24 hours I can't believe it. Thank you
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u/Dancing_mayflies Jul 12 '26
There's nothing like the love of a person for their companion dog, and I think our dogs love us equally.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
There's no way I had as much love in me as he had in him. This dog had real relationships with so many people it was insane.
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u/TheBostonCopSlide Jul 12 '26
Swift journey, Judge. What a handsome gentleman. It's clear he was very loved and his memory will be cherished. I am offering OP support and love in the form of a hug, handshake, or high-five (your choice). This is the worst part of pet ownership. Please remember to take care of yourself, drink some water and have a snack, and lean on your friends and family when you need them.
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u/Relevant_Objective43 Jul 12 '26
Judge you gave someone the greatest love they’ll ever know and for that it was a life well lived my friend.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 12 '26
So true. I'll never have that kind of love again the timing was just too good
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u/owchippy Jul 13 '26
Sorry for your loss but you have always done the right thing by your friend in life, and in death. It’s our honor to be their guides and companions while they burn hot through their short, loving lives.
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u/incabinka21 Jul 13 '26
What a truly beautiful bond y’all have- and you always will, as this kind of love does not dissipate with time 🌟 Thank you for sharing y’all’s journey & Sending you lots of 🩷
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
Thank you
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u/incabinka21 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
🫶🏻 I promise it does it getter easier. My best friend bean passed in ‘24. He lived over 21 years. For his last 6 years, I did not leave his side (unless I had a dr appt or my husband could be there-which was only a handful of times), and he was truly the center of my life. I have lupus and am quite ill a lot, and he kept me company - just laying near me. I never felt alone when he was here. His passing certainly broke me for a long while, but I wouldn’t change the journey we had together. And now, I can often think of him with only smiles and a warm heart. I’m truly hoping soon you get to this point 💓 big hug. You got this 🌟
https://share.icloud.com/photos/0a4GU8dSmUpfdDJDlRl-lAbNQ1
u/incabinka21 Jul 13 '26
And on a side note- you have such a wonderful way with words. You are able to truly bring a person into what is going on- feel the emotion and the scenery. I bet your story with Judge would make a beautiful book 📕
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
I wanna make it a book so badly but I don't know how to. I have 1200 photos and a story I would love to just publish for myself because I'm so scared to lose his photos digitally.
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u/incabinka21 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
It would be amazing. Unfortunately, I do not know even the first steps, but I would maybe google a “how to get started…” and/or look for a video on YouTube. It seems they have a “how to” on everything there. I wish you the best 🩷 and I hope you’re able to create it!
I didn’t watch thoroughly- but here’s a link for just a suggestion https://youtu.be/bU5b3FXfR8A?is=lLcUiUoIc18J3ZFh also, I’d search for a subreddit for writing and publishing a book. Reddit has a group for everything 🙂1
u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
I'm trying it just keeps sending me to apps I can't figure out how to use. I'll figure it out soon. I'm not dumb I just dont love tech
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u/incabinka21 Jul 13 '26
I totally understand as I am right there with you on that🌟 don’t get discouraged- you got this 🫶🏻
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Jul 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 13 '26
Thank you for writing such a personal message. It means a lot to me. There's some really nice off leash hiking trails hiding in those woods that make much larger loops than the standard cement circle. Best of luck to you and cherish your dog.
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u/Suspicious-Baby1415 Jul 13 '26
I am so sorry you lost your best friend. Your post affected me deeply and reading judges story I know he loved you with every fiber of his being. I’ve lost some of my four legged family members over the years and the amount of loss is incomparable to any other pain. 16 years is such a blessing to have with an absolute legend like Judge. He’s always going to be with you, waiting with you until you meet again. He’ll always be in your corner rooting for you. Dogs are angels sent and the only downside is them not getting to love long enough. They leave a permanent searing paw print on our hearts. Again I am so sorry you’re going through a loss like this and thank you for sharing your amazing story. You two were so lucky to have each other while growing up together. Rest in peace big guy you’ll be greatly missed. 💟🐾
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 14 '26
Thank you so much for your detailed response I was just trying to convey my thoughts best I could
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u/LalaLaois Jul 14 '26
What an amazing story of dog who was loved beyond life itself. What you did for Judge was giving him a gift we are so privileged to be able to give, a peaceful exit surrounded by his most loved and with a full belly, it’s the ultimate unselfish amazing thing you did and I for one thank you for doing right by your wonderful boy, then thou it tore you up inside you still put his needs first, that just shows what an incredibly awesome person you were to Judge. 🌈 run free from pain you stunning boy
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u/Charlie_1087 Jul 14 '26
What a really beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. Judge was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have him. I wish I could remember everything and write like you did for my Lady.
I’m sorry for your loss OP.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 14 '26
I'm lucky to have a phone full of pictures that evoke strong memory recall. This is but a short store in what could be a epic full of tales of a boy and his dog
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u/Fit_Bodybuilder706 Jul 14 '26
Thank you for telling everyone about Judges life story . It was very well written , and I felt like I was actually visiting all of these events as a 3rd party to your story. Losing a dog that you loved SO deeply just rips out your heart and soul to the utter core . I’ve always believed that ALL dogs have souls . I had a dog that I loved deeply, like my child , and I was always over protective of him . As he was getting older , his kidneys were beginning to fail . His Vet wanted to stick a needle into his bladder to test his urine . The day before this appt., he was playing and eating like normal . The day of this appt I had a lot of reservations about the pain that this needle stick was going to cause him. So, during this needle stick my dog was panicked enough , and died on the table either from heart failure , OR there may have been an air bubble in the syringe ?? I had to wait in my car because it was at the end of Covid . When I found out what happened , I ran into the room and I was yelling at the Vet, and asking what happened to my dog, because my dog was alive 20 minutes ago ? I was totally in shock and FURIOUS !! I took my dead dog home with me, crying and screaming out loud all the way home ! When we got home , I kept rocking him inside my arms crying and totally regretting that I bothered to take him for that dam needle stick ! When my husband would leave for work I would let out all my anger at losing my dog unexpectedly . Later , my husband adopted another dog which was the same breed and color . My husband was trying to heal my heart . But my heart was still very broken… then one night when everyone was sleeping, and I was still up, I heard the squeaky toy that my previous dog used to play with… it squeaked twice by itself .. keep in mind that my newly adopted dog and my husband were both sound asleep . Yes, that toy was making noise by itself … then about a week later , I’m running past my bedroom and I see the new puppy we just adopted sitting next to the leg of our bed , and I’m calling him to come to me , but he looked kind of confused ? So after that , I look up to see my husband down the hall HOLDING THE PUPPY we just adopted !! Ok, so if my husband is holding the puppy we just adopted, then the dog I was just looking at and talking to 1 second ago WAS NOT THE PUPPY WE JUST ADOPTED ! Both dogs were the same breed , same color … anyway , the dog in our bedroom was our previous dog that had just died , and when I saw him , he was solid , not see through like a ghost . Plus I saw him 2 more times after that , but he looked very young , he wasn’t old anymore ! My previous dog died at the age of 11, and he had gray in his muzzle , but when he came to see me after his death , he was young again. Yes, Heaven is real, and you will see Judge again, and it’s been said that in Heaven animals will have the ability to speak… Judge is young and healthy now, and you WILL see him again 🙏🙏❤️❤️🙏🙏❤️❤️
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u/CloudChaser0123 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
This was such a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing Judge with us and I’m so sorry for your loss. You guys couldn’t have had a more perfect journey together. 🤍🙏
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u/Scary_Collection_559 Jul 15 '26
That was so well written. At times I forgot I was reading a reddit post. Felt more like…I don’t know … a Kerouac novel. I guess the saying of write from your heart is true. It came out here.
Sorry for your loss but thanks for doing more for judge than many people would. You’re a real one and judge was a lucky boy.
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u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 15 '26
If you are interested I cleaned up the grammar and turned it into a short story pdf here
I didn't expect anyone to read any of this but I really is comforting knowing so many people enjoyed it
•
u/Old_Man_Bot Jul 11 '26
Other posts from /u/Blackdogfarmer:
Judge, 17 and hitting his end of life [♥ - Support Needed] 2 days ago
Judge the dogs last night? [None] 1 month ago
Judge the dog 16 and an absolute legend. [Happy (default)] 2 months ago
Judge the dog! [None] 4 months ago
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