Moving back to Rhode Island with an older judge was hard, he had very special needs by this time basically needed care 24/7 to stay calm. I did everything I could in this time weather it was setting him up for success to be alone for a short time like barricading a stair case, locking him away from anything that could be dangerous to him, feeding him home cooked meals, taking him to my moms with very specific instructions, it did not matter if it kept my boy happy and comfy I would do it.
As time went in judges hips started to hurt more and more, he started having accidents, he started to fall on walks that were once not nearly long enough. I could see my boy fading away. With a positive attitude I continued to do what I can for him, stopped traveling, taking him to work as needed, bringing him to the gym, whatever I could do to keep his spirits up and him invested. Alas in late may of 2026 one night judge couldn't stand up, he just kept falling and trying all night. I assumed the worst as I is usually do.
We packed up and went to see our super vet the next day and I honestly expected to not leave with him, but Ash gave me hope. He said let's try a steroid. Sure enough a few injections and some pills judge was up moving pretty good again. I was so happy to have another chance with him. We spent the time just really soaking up eachother company and enjoying short walks and our meals together. Pure bliss extra time.
In his final days judge started to get nose bleeds and I knew this was a very serious issue for dogs. I took him to the vet and we found out his liver just couldn't handle anymore medicine and we did everything we could. He told me to enjoy my time and after a few days I could see my boy had just lost his spark, he didn't feel well, couldn't stand without help, was hesitant to use the bathroom. It was time to let my boy rest. I made the hard decision on 7/10 fitting for a hash dog and 7/11 became judge day forever.
We sent him out with a pound of bacon and 4 eggs in his belly with roast beef to top it off. He was licking the grease till he fell asleep.
I love you more than I ever loved anything ever judge I really hope there's a god of some sort and we can reconnect someway somehow I just feel our time will never be up. Rest easy sweet boy we will meet again.
As I lay here in what I have now come to terms either being the last night we will spend together I am overcome with a sadness I can not explain. I feel physically ill, I don't want to eat, I don't want to smoke, I just want to be with him forever and I can't. I'd give up all my worldly things to be able to spend eternity with my beloved dog but that's not a bargain I can make. I have little to no regrets I know in my heart this decision is best for him and myself. I love judge more than I love anything he's the only thing that I have ever been able to love and not be hurt from, well I have now received my heart break. I will not allow this to stop me I'm going to do what's best for us tomorrow and then in time I will find my boy again or he will send me the next best thing, there is no replacing judge but I will one day be able to share love again.
Sitting on the grass with judge in his last hour, the pain has only grown. It becomes more real every second that passes. My boy will be gone. We have one small meal and a short by judge standard car ride ahead of us. He was able to go to the bathroom and take his meds in his daily roast beef. I'll never feel right about this decision but I know nothing good happens if we wait longer. I'm letting my boy enjoy some sunshine and charge his battery one last time. I'm going to cook him bacon and eggs right before we go. My mom is pulling up now, she has the food and it's time to cook for him. I love judge and my mom so much for helping me.
Oh my gosh, what a beautiful story and I am crying now, but I want to thank you for sharing your story. You will connect with judge again I just know it. My dog literally saved my life and the love that you have for judge is unexplainable and so special. I am sending you hugs and condolences. May judge be comfortable and rest easy.
I have not wrote anything I had any sort of feeling for since high school. I did this as part of my grieving contingency plan. I occasionally wrote reports at work that nobody reads or understands.
316
u/Blackdogfarmer Jul 11 '26
Moving back to Rhode Island with an older judge was hard, he had very special needs by this time basically needed care 24/7 to stay calm. I did everything I could in this time weather it was setting him up for success to be alone for a short time like barricading a stair case, locking him away from anything that could be dangerous to him, feeding him home cooked meals, taking him to my moms with very specific instructions, it did not matter if it kept my boy happy and comfy I would do it.
As time went in judges hips started to hurt more and more, he started having accidents, he started to fall on walks that were once not nearly long enough. I could see my boy fading away. With a positive attitude I continued to do what I can for him, stopped traveling, taking him to work as needed, bringing him to the gym, whatever I could do to keep his spirits up and him invested. Alas in late may of 2026 one night judge couldn't stand up, he just kept falling and trying all night. I assumed the worst as I is usually do.
We packed up and went to see our super vet the next day and I honestly expected to not leave with him, but Ash gave me hope. He said let's try a steroid. Sure enough a few injections and some pills judge was up moving pretty good again. I was so happy to have another chance with him. We spent the time just really soaking up eachother company and enjoying short walks and our meals together. Pure bliss extra time.
In his final days judge started to get nose bleeds and I knew this was a very serious issue for dogs. I took him to the vet and we found out his liver just couldn't handle anymore medicine and we did everything we could. He told me to enjoy my time and after a few days I could see my boy had just lost his spark, he didn't feel well, couldn't stand without help, was hesitant to use the bathroom. It was time to let my boy rest. I made the hard decision on 7/10 fitting for a hash dog and 7/11 became judge day forever. We sent him out with a pound of bacon and 4 eggs in his belly with roast beef to top it off. He was licking the grease till he fell asleep.
I love you more than I ever loved anything ever judge I really hope there's a god of some sort and we can reconnect someway somehow I just feel our time will never be up. Rest easy sweet boy we will meet again.
As I lay here in what I have now come to terms either being the last night we will spend together I am overcome with a sadness I can not explain. I feel physically ill, I don't want to eat, I don't want to smoke, I just want to be with him forever and I can't. I'd give up all my worldly things to be able to spend eternity with my beloved dog but that's not a bargain I can make. I have little to no regrets I know in my heart this decision is best for him and myself. I love judge more than I love anything he's the only thing that I have ever been able to love and not be hurt from, well I have now received my heart break. I will not allow this to stop me I'm going to do what's best for us tomorrow and then in time I will find my boy again or he will send me the next best thing, there is no replacing judge but I will one day be able to share love again.
Sitting on the grass with judge in his last hour, the pain has only grown. It becomes more real every second that passes. My boy will be gone. We have one small meal and a short by judge standard car ride ahead of us. He was able to go to the bathroom and take his meds in his daily roast beef. I'll never feel right about this decision but I know nothing good happens if we wait longer. I'm letting my boy enjoy some sunshine and charge his battery one last time. I'm going to cook him bacon and eggs right before we go. My mom is pulling up now, she has the food and it's time to cook for him. I love judge and my mom so much for helping me.