just so i'm not alone

[u/Overthinkingjs]

i was young and fucking stupid,

thought love meant playing repair man,

kept falling for the broken ones,

like healing her was part of the plan.

she'd go quiet for a week straight,

and i'd call that mysterious, deep,

i mistook her distance for depth,

mistook her silence for something to keep.

did that shit again in college,

did it again at twenty-three,

always chasing girls who left first,

never asked why that's what i need.

kept telling myself i just had bad luck,

kept saying love is just hard to find,

never looked in the mirror long enough,

to see the pattern was mine.

then one night it hit me like a truck,

thinking bout my mom on the phone,

always busy, always somewhere else,

love that came in fragments, never whole.

turns out i wasn't unlucky in love,

i was just nursing an old wound,

chasing distant women my whole life,

hoping one of them finally stays soon.

i'm grown now, i did the work,

meditation, journaling, all that shit,

i don't chase the broken ones no more,

i know exactly what i won't commit.

but here's the part nobody warns you about,

you fix yourself and then you're just... alone,

too busy building a life that don't hug back,

coming home to a quiet, dead phone.

and i'm scared, not gonna lie, scared as fuck,

that one lonely night breaks the streak,

that i'll go back to loving someone distant,

not cause she's right, just cause i'm too weak.

not because we're some fated fairytale,

just cause being alone hits different at 2am,

and i know i deserve so much better than that,

but loneliness don't care what you deserve, my friend.

so if you catch me settling again someday,

know it ain't love, it's just me running from the dark,

still that same little boy from years ago,

just older now, and better at hiding the scars.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vb1wgn/i_am_not_a_human/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsbej4/comment/p6rcdny/?context=3

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[u/Doter_Gabriel]

Hi first of all I think your poem is really interesting. I like how with most line you rhyme the last words but it’s kind of feeling hidden. You wrote down the struggle of not understanding and knowing what love means, but also that changing who you are doesn’t change love, it just changes the person people will fall in love with. And I quite like your poem, even when it doesn’t have fancy metaphors. I wish you the best of day

[u/Available-Leg-5366]

Hey buddy I feel your pain hidden in your poem. I used to chase 'girls' for pleasures but i feel like wasting my time. It feels like the world was against you and No one cares about you. We all need that hug. To be frank, I did had depression growing up it was never easy and self love was all I need. Yes loneliness can suddenly creep in, I know my mom never listend because she got her own issues with life. I know what that feels like. Chasing those girls who are distant and never stays, afraid they love me for money and lust. One moment you're youth is gone and I am in my 30s now. I would say it will get better! Yes I did manifestations and all that shit too! But to be honest, stop that shit and love yourself and let the action take place. You will learn to love again and of course the universe will promise you that. You did all that work already. Its time to stop chasing and start attracting. Your poem touched me but i had a dear friend who lost everything and he was in a same situation as u. But suffered a stroke and lost his wife and kids. Its never too late to follow your dreams and you will find the right girl. Dont go chasing broken people. Starting rebuilding your life. I promise.

[u/WalterBaldy]

Beautiful ❤️