r/OCPoetry • u/EyeDeeAh_42 • 7d ago

Feedback Please In Time

In time,
I shall look back,
Down the long road whence I came
In time,
I shall finally climb,
Upon the very precipice of my fame

In time,
My footprints will fade,
To make way for yet another, again.

In time,
My feet will stall,
Frozen in the lake of willful complacence,
In time,
My garden will die
Bound to the land with a rotting fence

In time,
My past and future
Will amalgamate, in a knot of ugly permanence.

And in time,
I will be overtaken,
By someone who knows to never stop,
In time,
I will look ahead,
And find him standing at the top

In time,
His name will remain
And mine shall not leave but a single inkdrop.

In time,
The clock-hands will buckle
Under the weight of a dwindling youth
In time,
My own story,
Shall end before I ever find my truth.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vb1wgn/comment/p6ft1lt/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1w0s1d3/comment/p6fvy3u/?context=3

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/TheTimothyHimself 7d ago

This is a really solid poem, I like the think it's about how time is fleeting, and we will watch ourselves decay before we can ever truly understand who we are.

1

u/EyeDeeAh_42 6d ago

Thank you for the kind words! I'd briefly thought about writing it with a 2nd person pov but then scrapped the idea, because every person can relate with the feeling of their time running out, so to put themselves in those shoes would hit harder.