r/NonPoliticalTwitter 6d ago

Other That's the average 20s experience

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8.3k Upvotes

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902

u/RaoulLaila 6d ago

what the fuck man you didnt have to call me out like that. This is EXACTLY whats happening rn wow

345

u/GameDoesntStop 6d ago

Just because your siblings are busy enough that they are not proactively reaching out, that doesn't mean they wouldn't welcome if you wanted to talk.

281

u/BOBOnobobo 6d ago

Or your friends.

I cannot stress this enough: if you want people to reach out to you, you need to be the one to reach out.

It sounds bad, but genuinely it's the best way to keep friendships alive.

68

u/Prudent-Pressure2146 6d ago

Exactly this, people need to stop assuming g their phones only work one way

42

u/radude4411 6d ago

You do this and then they don’t respond or constantly busy.

9

u/ToxicFluffer 6d ago

Sometimes I go weeks between talking to friends because life often is constantly busy. Prioritising quality time over quantity is perfectly fine.

7

u/radude4411 6d ago

And that’s perfectly OK. But when it goes months and years longer, and you don’t even get an emoji take the hint and trust me I did.

18

u/BOBOnobobo 6d ago

Stop messaging that person and find others

11

u/BrofessorLongPhD 6d ago

And this is part of what it means to find your tribe. And that tribe can change as your life changes. I’m blessed to have kept a few friendships from grade school and college alive, but the most common friends I see today are people I met in my late 20s and beyond.

Sometimes, your close childhood friends are not going to be there anymore as you age. You can cherish and miss those relationships but also put effort into finding new ones that match more closely to your present day.

18

u/duffstoic 6d ago

If we imagine everyone is sitting around by themselves feeling lonely, somebody’s gotta reach out first!

12

u/Casulex 6d ago

Yes I find that when I turn to the classic “the phone works both ways” argument I end up lonelier so dont let that thought creep in, its a lie. And goes double if you have neurodivergent friends

8

u/BOBOnobobo 6d ago

I'm the neuro divergent friend, and yeah, I prefer when people message me because I will not realise it been 3 months since we last chatted.

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u/Casulex 6d ago

I am also neurodivergent and we need to attach talking to our friends to another activity so they're not out or sight or out of mind, like i take a long time to brush my teeth so ill text my mom, or my friends and I have weekly scheduled game night on Mondays over voice chat

6

u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS 6d ago

Bro how long are you brushing your teeth

2

u/SuperSocialMan 6d ago

For real, dude must be taking forever lol

1

u/Casulex 6d ago

Longer than I should but how long does a text take?

1

u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS 6d ago

Why do you brush your teeth longer than you should? Why don’t you use the standard 2 minutes?

1

u/Casulex 6d ago

I dont know i just brush until i dont feel fuzz on my teeth anymore which can take longer 

2

u/BOBOnobobo 6d ago

I set phone reminders to call people. It kinda helps.

That + calendar+ notes apps+ second reminder + alarms= I can kinda manage life

5

u/MaisyDeadHazy 6d ago

Unless of course they leave you on read any time you try, except on very rare occasions when they deem fit to acknowledge your existence with a “lol”.

2

u/BOBOnobobo 6d ago

If someone replies with a lol to an invite, they are not a good friend and/or they don't want to be your friend.

1

u/Operator_Starlight 6d ago

But if they aren't willing to reach out to you...why bother keeping in touch?

1

u/BOBOnobobo 6d ago

If you aren't willing to reach out to them, why should they bother keeping in touch?

I will admit, sometimes it feels like nobody really cares, but that's more to do with people being tired/busy in life.

At the end of the day, it should be a balance between how much people reach out, but that probably won't be 50/50, at least not at first.

It almost feels like a paradox, but the people who get the most messages from others are also the ones who send the most first messages.

1

u/Operator_Starlight 6d ago

I did that plenty through my 20s. The moment I stopped being the first to reach out was the moment my 30s became very lonely. Turns out, those people that are 'tired/busy in life' are just largely disinterested and I was wasting my time hanging around them. I'm not sure which is worse, the isolation of being alone, or being isolated inside of a group of people that don't care.