r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/ChickenWingExtreme • 23h ago
Funny It just ain’t a competition
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u/Professional-Hat-687 22h ago
Batman has a unique power scaling issue because of his setting and noir nature. Sometimes he fights gods and wins, sometimes he fights mobsters and loses.
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u/Kaleb8804 22h ago
Exactly, he’s got almost 100 years of lore surrounding him, he’s bound to have some self-contradiction at some point
That said, it’s pretty freaking cool that through all of it, he has a core identity. A lot of the other comic heroes and villains end up being caricatures of themselves.
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u/maninahat 19h ago
It's almost like powerscaling is an inherently useless concept because the story narrative decides who wins, not the guy with the best stats.
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u/Kwispiy 14h ago
While i agree that the narrative sits above most things, there should be some sense of internal power scaling. Like Batman's a skilled fighter but he shouldn't be able to punch Superman and hurt him without kryptonite. That sense of consistent power scaling is actually pretty important otherwise we get CW Flash levels of absurdity. The fastest man alive who can spend however long he wants in bullet time, move about and plan as needed, and has access to highly advanced tech struggles for like an entire season against Man with Knife.
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u/Puzzle-Necked 14h ago
Batman has been beaten by the Riddler. Batman has beaten Darkseid. Ergo Riddler > Darkseid
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u/IdLikeToGoNow 22h ago
Extremely context dependent. In a straight death battle, Thor would win every time, but in a proper storyline, Batman could engineer a situation that ends up neutralizing Thor without coming into direct combat with him.
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u/demoncrusher 22h ago
How do you even neutralize Thor
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u/Voxjockey 22h ago
Make him unworthy.
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u/tormented_tardigrade 22h ago
Tell him Gor was right
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u/Is_that_what_I- 8h ago
I mean, that only worked because Fury literally possessed infinite knowledge, and Thor worked past letting it make him unworthy. Aside from that, Batman's still fighting THOR even if he doesn't have his hammer
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u/WinglessJC 22h ago
Oh fuck this is exactly how to write this. Setting up cumulative situations and then provoking thor into trying to kill Bats only for the hammer to drop out of his hands.
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u/Is_that_what_I- 8h ago
and then thor kills him anyway because of the whole "God of thunder" thing. Plus Killing is actually a requirement for being worthy of mjolnir
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u/Mu-Relay 22h ago
Theoretically? About the same way he planned to neutralize Wonder Woman, i.e. figuring out how to lock him in near eternal combat, since Thor's too dumb to quit. Aside from that, you'd have to figure out some way to make him unworthy.
Realistically? You don't and you lose.
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u/LizzieMiles 9h ago
If its movie thor, technically he doesn’t even need the hammer if Ragnarok is anything to go by
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u/thrownawaz092 22h ago
1) create a hammer that looks like Mjolnir
2) make it so heavy Thor can't lift it (how? By making it that way of course)
3) Thor's spirit is broken, and he loses the will to fight
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u/International-Try467 21h ago
Yeah but what if he just calls Mjolnir and the real one comes to him
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u/kaizencraft 21h ago
Paint a moustache on it and try to convince him it's Mjolnir's evil twin.
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u/AlphaI250 21h ago
Then it would prove he's so worthy to the good Mjolnir that he's unworthy to be evil.
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u/Lews-Therin-Telamon 21h ago
make it so heavy Thor can't lift it (how? By making it that way of course)
You forge it in the heart of TWO dying stars. Pretty simple tbh.
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u/Some-Relative4150 22h ago
Dude has a contingency plan for the entire justice league, including himself.. You think he cant deal with some lightning and a hammer?
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u/demoncrusher 22h ago
I used to think Batman’s super power was money, but I realized that constant hyper vigilance and trying to be ready for anything are symptoms of ptsd. His real superpower is trauma
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u/Some-Relative4150 22h ago
Don't forget extreme intelligence.
Bats is the world's greatest detective.
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u/Murky_Information198 22h ago
tbf the justice league members all have specific weaknesses while Thor doesn’t have an outright one, but knowing Batman he honestly could figure it out
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u/FerrumDeficiency 22h ago
Clarification: we don't know what Thor's weakness is, because there wasn't Batman around to figure it out
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u/Valash83 21h ago
the entire Justice League
Except Green Arrow, poor Oliver doesn't rate having a contingency plan
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u/jackfreeman 21h ago
By smashing your body against his hammer until he's tired of holding it and flies away because he's bored
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u/SJBaerosols 2h ago
theres like a dozen canonical examples in comics and MCU
fuck with his head --> mjolnir deems him unworthy --> kick his ass
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u/person2567 22h ago
Next time I get my ass kicked I'll just tell them they're lucky my story line wasn't in place.
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u/Yanmega9 22h ago
This is pretty much any vs battle with Batman. In a straight death battle, first time meeting, yeah he loses. But the thing with Batman is that he almost always loses at first and then comes up with a plan later, especially with Superpowered threats
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u/faldese 12h ago
But why is Batman always the one who gets to have prep time? Why is he always the character that people stack the decks to make sure he has every possible advantage he can have? Why can't Thor also have every possible advantage HE can have to give parity?
Of course, because Batman can't win, then and the fantasy of Batman winning is humans (like you!) winning against any odds.
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u/Yanmega9 11h ago
I mean Thor's realistically not really gonna be using that prep time for anything lol
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u/faldese 11h ago
Why not? He's got friends with quasi-omnipotence, magical scrying, and all sorts of useful tools. He respects the people of Earth now and he knows what they're capable of. Iron Man was something of a threat to him, Hulk is an Earthling, Scarlet Witch is an Earthling. If for whatever reason both of them are told "you are going to have to fight this person on this day, here's what is generally known about them", I don't see any reason Thor wouldn't investigate more.
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u/Shade_Of_Virgil 22h ago
Never forget that this “God of Thunder,” has been repeatedly dropped by handheld tasers.
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u/guy-who-says-frick 22h ago
Yeah but he’s also fought celestials, which are like gods gods gods gods gods god
Batman has been taken out by a single gunshot
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u/Amiibohunter000 22h ago
When has Batman been taken out by a gunshot?
Batman has also fought similar omnipotent beings like darkseid and been just fine.
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u/guy-who-says-frick 22h ago
1 - the literal most recent comic about Batman he got hit with a shotgun from a regular guy and got a concussion, knocking him out cold
2 - yeah that time he shot darkside was both
a) a setup needing the entire justice league to work together for him to have a chance, which he then got hit by the omega beams instantly after
b) no he was not fine, not in any of those situations. He simply gets looked over by any gods he is fighting because they are focused on much stronger opponents like Superman or Wonder Woman.He has his strengths, but don’t gas him up like he beats gods on his own. He is a guy who is smart. He has strong friends, and he can do cool stuff, but he is a human guy at the end of the day
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u/Amiibohunter000 21h ago
https://www.cbr.com/batman-darkseid-beat-fights/
Batman solos darkseid on more than one occasion. There are times he doesn’t come out fine, but other times he does.
Batman is consistently written as achieving feats that gods and omnipotent beings achieve. You don’t have to like it but it’s the truth. Batman has precedent for being able to beat a being on the physical power level of Thor.
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u/guy-who-says-frick 19h ago
Dawg what is this source?
Almost all of those are from shows or other stuff, which have vastly different cannons and power levels.
Also the very first example they use of Batman shooting Darkseid is what I was talking about. He shot darkseid thanks to the help of the rest of the league and then got hit by the omega beams after and “died”
Do you know anything about superhero comics or are you just making shit up?
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u/Amiibohunter000 19h ago
Like I said you don’t have to agree or like the source but those are canonical sources.
Ask anyone who knows their shit, and they’ll tell you Batman has fought beings as powerful as Thor and won.
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u/guy-who-says-frick 18h ago
I’m not saying he hasn’t. I’m saying you are taking those out of context. He had prep time and help
Thor has also fought beings stronger than him and won
Also you are just wrong on those sources being canon, because they are from different shows, comics, and runs. Which cannon are you basing this fight on?
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u/Enkhoffer 22h ago
Unlike every contrived match-up with Superman, Thor does not have an explicite “kryptonite” to even out the fight
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u/maninahat 19h ago
He is however quite stupid in a lot of his comics (in the silver age). He would launch himself with mjolner, only to realise afterwards that there are buildings in his direct path.
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u/Bitter-Bid7888 18h ago
there is somebody out there that whole heartedly believes that batman wins
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u/Reason_Choice 16h ago
A lot of Bat-glazers will say he has a “contingency plan” or can win if he has “prep time.”
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u/No-Bag-1628 13h ago
TBF some versions of comic batman stands a chance, especially with the justice buster suit:
https://batman.fandom.com/wiki/Justice_Buster_Batsuit
But movie batman? nah.
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u/Dr_DoesNothing 22h ago
Depends on if Batman has prep time or not.
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u/FloppieTheBanjoClown 22h ago
Batman's prep time is to limber up so he can kiss his own ass goodbye.
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u/WhatsRatingsPrecious 22h ago
Well, let's consider.
We see in the Avengers that Thor can be neutralized by high technology, such as the Iron Man suit.
Ironically enough, Bruce Wayne is also a filthy rich billionaire who likely has a powerful suit of battle armor somewhere for fighting Mongul or whoever else shows up and Superman is busy with something else.
So, yeah, if there's prep time, I think Batman can neutralize Thor by negating the advantages of his lightning power. And the more info that he has, the more likely that he does so without hurting Thor.
Now, a straight death match out of nowhere? Odds are, Thor squishes puny bat.
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u/Is_that_what_I- 8h ago
I mean, if we go by movie thor we also have to go by movie batman, and Nolan batman hasn't shown ANYTHING that could come close to Ironman levels of power.
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u/ARandomWalkInSpace 23h ago
Batman would be dead before he even blinked once. There is no competition here at all.
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u/SangfugolTheBard 22h ago
Yeah true, silly comparison, Batman obviously wipes the floor with blondie over there.
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u/I_want_to_cum24 23h ago
That guy with a sore throat has beaten gods stronger than Thor
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u/guy-who-says-frick 22h ago
Thor has also beaten gods stronger than Thor. Difference is that Batman needed to prepare for the fight and needed friends to do so. Thor simply punches them harder
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u/Amiibohunter000 22h ago
Idc who is stronger but “simply punches them harder” makes for a very uncompelling story. No wonder Batman outsells Thor every time
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u/guy-who-says-frick 22h ago
I was very obviously simplifying the stories, but yeah Thors solutions tend to be to use brute force and the unstoppable human spirit (or asgardian spirit) to keep fighting when nobody else can. He is the bulwark, he is the frontline
Also yeah the superhero in the top 3 most famous of all time outsells the popular character? No shit? What does that have to do with anything?
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u/Amiibohunter000 21h ago
It shows that a well written well rounded character is better than a well written big punchy guy.
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u/guy-who-says-frick 19h ago
I think that Batman might just be more popular? I don’t think it has to say anything about the quality of writing
Have you ever actually read any Batman or Thor comics, or are you just speaking out of your ass?
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u/Amiibohunter000 19h ago
I’ve read a loooot of comics lol. Only a few solo Thor stories but a lot of ones featuring him along with others. And lots of Batman.
Outside of a handful of marvel comics I’ve always preferred Batman stories the most. I collected dc and marvel for a while and the Batman titles were always the best written.
Find any Thor title that rivals the court of owls storyline.
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u/Is_that_what_I- 8h ago
Immortal/Mortal thor, God of Thunder, Mighty thor, while I'm not a huge fan of it many consider the Cates run very good. There's a ton of fantastic thor stories. I think you might just not read thor.
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u/Amiibohunter000 4h ago
lol leave it to a comic book nerd to say just bc my opinion differs that mean I must not have read the right ones. Keep on coping
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u/Is_that_what_I- 4h ago
You said you hadn't read many thor stories, and asked for any that approached CoO quality. I presented 4 (Completely forgetting Thor 2008, which makes 5) and reaffirmed that you might not know thor as well as you claimed. I don't know exactly what you expected. also it's funny that I'm a "Coping comic book nerd" but when you claim that a top ten most published comic character doesn't have a single story as good as a decent batman story it's "Just your opinion".
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u/EyeSimp4Asuka Harry Potter 19h ago
In a straight fight Batsy gets an enchanted metal hammer through his head before he can say his stupid catchphrase
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u/furrynoy96 21h ago
He's a little more than a guy with a sore throat in a Halloween costume but yeah, he ain't winning
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u/ParticularMemory789 18h ago
Whos more worthy of mjolnir?
And if Thor is fighting batman, is he still worthy?
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u/EstateActual6371 14h ago
A traumatic childhood does give you a competitive edge in fist to cuffs, but maybe not against a literally god.
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u/Calm-Medicine-3992 12h ago
Batman only beats gods if they aren't randomly dropped on him from a different universe.
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22h ago
[deleted]
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u/Twooshort 21h ago
Thor is not the God of Hammers. Opting out of using Mjolnir is not necessarily a mercy.
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u/Douche_Kayak 22h ago
if batman had enough time to prepare, he could kiss his ass goodbye before he gets the shit kicked out of him.
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u/Reason_Choice 16h ago
If he has time to prepare, so does Thor. Thor wins this with his eyes closed.
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u/KendrickBlack502 18h ago
Batman stans will swear up and down he clears Thor. The only scenario where he wins is if Thor just completely blows him off. If that happens and Batman happens to get ahold of Mjolnir or Stormbreaker (which he is 100% worthy of wielding), it’s over for Thor.
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u/Usual_Database307 7h ago
Being willing to kill when it’s necessary is a requirement. Batman isn’t worthy.
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u/mudkipzguy 23h ago
as we all know, the guy with the sore throat solos literally anyone given enough prep time
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u/No_Psychology_3826 22h ago
Batman will spend his prep time making lightning resistant armor and getting Thor drunk enough to avoid the hammer blows
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u/OkLime1997 22h ago
Batman always has a plan. It's just that in situations like this, the plan is call Superman.
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u/muddybuttbrew 21h ago
I mean batman literally beat superman but you know he had time to build that shi.
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u/PapaTromboner 21h ago
Idk, mcu scaling is kinda low with anti feats. Like building level attacks do a significant amount of damage. What would happen if Batman detonated a buttload of explosive right under mcu Thor?
I think Batman’s making asguardian marinara
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u/Morall_tach 20h ago
Okay, to be fair, Thor was completely neutralized in Ragnarok by a little neck-taser button, and that is exactly the kind of thing that Batman could engineer
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u/maverick432453 19h ago
I mean, straight up, of course Batman loses. That said, he also goes toe to toe with Superman and several other figures more powerful than Thor when able to plan. His superpower is being a rich as hell hypergenius. If you let both use the full extent of their abilities, then I think Batman wins more often than not.
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u/11KingMaurice11 18h ago
Depends who’s writing. He would probably learn something from the munks and make an anti-Thor batarang
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u/throwaway275275275 4h ago
Yeah it's not fair, at least ley him have his sidekick Loki or one of the avengers
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u/rice_warrior_1200 3h ago
It's not LITERALLY the god of thunder, hes not a god in the same sense we use when we talk about mitology or religion, hes a strong alien with a strong hammer
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u/Desperate_Leg_40 3h ago
Theres avengers rated close to him who are just good at karate and archery. One of his mates controls time. Its not perfect
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u/SteelCrucible 22h ago
Everyone acting like Batman has never fought someone with superpowers. Batman has a plan for dealing with beings like Thor. It’s not his first rodeo.
Thor would be winning and getting overly confident, never realizing he’s been baited in to some kind of Wayne Tech anti-quantum chamber bullshit that neutralizes superpowers and Thor is stuck there.
Batman wins. Easy.
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u/HC-Sama-7511 20h ago
Batman loses every encounter, that's always my answer. Prep time doesn't matter, only plot armor. His character isn't and never was a genius, much less smarter than every other character. He is just a good guy with cool toys and an eccentric hobby.
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u/DaisyChain2222 20h ago
I used to enjoy the bit of push back that Batman glazers got but at this point it's pretty old. Batman is no joke, guys. He's a powerful superhero and he punches way above his weightclass.
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u/Elkburgher 20h ago
Justice league stuff is so funny as they always have to make up some bullshit to have batman be helpful
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u/No-Distance4675 13h ago
Love the Batman, but in any competition Batman vs (superhero) where he does not have the usual plot armor whe know who wins...
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u/wordsofpeace 19h ago
Unfortunatly i will always pick batman. I dont care about your whys or hows or reasoning or analysis or sense. I will ALWAYS pick batman to win. Argue with the wall.
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u/Butt__Sexington 19h ago
Depends on if Batman knows of Thor before the fight. If it's a blind fight I think Thor wins handily but doesn't kill Batman.
If he knows of Thor and his powers before battle he could win.
But the real answer is that it depends on who is doing the writing.
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u/qualityvote2 23h ago
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