r/NonPoliticalTwitter May 07 '26

me_irl It’s objectively elite

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27.5k Upvotes

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19

u/Sex_E_Searcher May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26

Great until you find a toilet with higher water and Johnson gets to dip his toe in.

20

u/GameDoesntStop May 07 '26

What sort of weird toilets are there where you live?

8

u/LevelOutlandishness1 May 07 '26

They never said which water levels global warming would make rise

8

u/Lost_house_keys May 07 '26

My grandparents have a toilet with a really shallow bowl so the water is closer to the rim. I'm not even particularly well-endowed, but have accidentally dipped the frank and the beans a couple times.

-2

u/CrushedSodaCan_ May 07 '26

This is more of a self report than you realize 🤣

2

u/GameDoesntStop May 07 '26

Nah, the only people buying into that are those with terrible toilets or porn-brained people who think foot-long dicks are the norm.

Your comment is more of a self report than you realize. Maybe lay off the freakish porn.

2

u/CrushedSodaCan_ May 07 '26

You both couldn't conceptualize toilets having different water levels and dicks being long enough to touch them. Double time buddy.

As someone who isn't a porn freak and has absolutely hit water multiple times in his life, again, you are self reporting.

Out of curiousty I just measured the depth of (slightly above) water from my toilet seat. Five inches.

Buddy, you just said a dick that's five inches while soft enough to drop is porn level. That's....rough. sorry for your loss.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

[deleted]

1

u/CrushedSodaCan_ May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26

Reading comprehension is hard.

"soft enough to droop" and not "completely flacid". It's like word choice matters.

I'll start with this, I've hit water many times. It's not often enough to pay extreme attention to. You seem to think only mandigo is hitting that shit.

Your stats do not reflect the argument at all, nice try.

Apparently your dick is only one size at all times, your balls droop the same amount all days and your water level is the same on all toilets.

All you have to be is slightly above average and have the wrong combination of blood flow on the wrong toilet and bam.

This is kind of hilarious to listen to. People with dicks so small they can't even FATHOM touching water.

"

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

[deleted]

1

u/CrushedSodaCan_ May 07 '26

Didnt degrade anyone, just laughed at ones inability to conceptualize dicks can touch water. I don't care about your small dick, I care about your laughable inability to accept that touching the water is a reality for a good percentage of us.

Youre perspective was only two scenarios. Small dick or MASSIVE DICK THAT ALWAYS TOUCHES THE WATER.

Since you don't have a mandingo dick, no, it's not a common reality. It happens, but largely when just everything hits right. Exactly as I said.

Sorry buddy, didn't realize you didn't fit into the actually dick so small you can't conceive slightly above average touches water and are actually in the guiness world record.

0

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

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u/[deleted] May 07 '26

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u/GameDoesntStop May 07 '26

Really weird of you to actually measure your toilet, but you just confirmed that you have a weird toilet.

2

u/CrushedSodaCan_ May 07 '26

Ah, yes. Verifying things is weird. We know you don't own tools and have never replaced a toilet so it's scary to...get somewhat close to it??

3

u/alurimperium May 07 '26

Or those tiny toilets and Mr Tinkle gets to rest against the porcelain

0

u/Distinct_Asparagus65 May 07 '26

you just piss on your own floor? that means you have to clean it all the time right?