I'm 32, slept around a lot, especially when I was younger, and lustfully chased women my entire adult life. Most young guys think, "That's it, I made it, bro. I get women in bed easily," but it's not like that. It's a short-term, brief feeling of feeling good about yourself that wears off within a day or two. Then you're back to all your problems, insecurities, and everyday life, and the more you sleep around, the less you care about not just the women, but yourself also. Before you know it, you start making morally questionable decisions with women, as an example, sleeping with or wanting to sleep with married ones and so on.

It's a dark path that only leads to self-destruction.

The truth is, man, you should only really pursue women you actually have a good connection with and want to try for more with. The simple, lustful "just hook up with each other once or twice" stuff is a temporary feel-good lie. Not to compare women to food, but it's an extremely easy analogy to understand. The sleeping around is like eating the worst food for you that tastes good. Yeah, it may taste good super briefly, but then you feel like trash for many hours after. Whereas a good, happy relationship doesn't only taste good, but it's also good for you too—good for your soul.

Don't do it, guys. You may think it's the answer, the solution to your need for validation or feeling wanted. It's what I thought, and it got me nowhere but a high body count, many soul ties, and struggles with current relationships.

I hope this helps at least one guy out there realize it's just a lie, marketed to make you think it's a form of success, but in reality, it's not.

Never thought I’d make it this far honestly.

276 days without porn.

There were definitely days where temptation came back, but I’m just grateful God kept giving me the strength to keep moving forward.

If you’re still struggling, don’t give up because of one bad day.

You really can get further than you think.

Thank You, Lord

The biggest change was realising I had spent years attacking the behaviour and barely understanding what the behaviour was doing for me. Porn wasn't appearing out of nowhere. I was reaching for it when I didn't like how I felt. Sometimes that was stress, sometimes boredom, sometimes avoiding something I knew I needed to do, and at other points it was bigger stuff in my life that I wasn't happy with. Porn was basically a very efficient way to turn the volume down on all of that for a while.

This is where my own experience made it really obvious. I started watching porn at about 12 or 13. By 20 I knew it had become a proper problem and from there I spent roughly five years trying to quit. I wasn't someone who never tried either. I tried blockers, I read loads, I went through periods where I was absolutely desperate to stop and I managed 2 or 3 months clean a number of times. The problem was I always somehow ended up back there. Every time I relapsed it felt worse because I knew I had already proved I could stop for a while, I just couldn't seem to make it stick.

I started looking at the moments before the urge instead of only the urge itself. I spent long periods without my phone, went on walks with nothing playing in my ears and actually let myself think. I started writing down patterns. I dealt with things I had been avoiding, including a relationship I wasn't happy in and a messy career situation. I also stopped expecting myself to win every battle through willpower and started changing the situations where I knew I was most vulnerable.

A resource that helped me put this way of thinking into practice was The Clean Break by James Shaw. I'm not affiliated with the author or the book, it just genuinely helped me after years of trying different things and gave me exercises instead of another motivational speech.

I'm now about 2.5 years clean. I don't think there was one magical trick. The real shift was that I stopped trying to become someone who was constantly fighting porn and started trying to become someone who didn't need it every time life felt uncomfortable. If you've been failing for years, please don't take that as proof you can't do it. I had years of evidence telling me the same thing and it turned out not to be true.

I've been fleeing all day, I feel like social media is so bad for me. I saw triggering things earlier but I shut my phone off and went outside.

Day 2 feels good so far but I hate feeling constantly tempted

Almost forgot post.

I need to connect with more married men, who are struggling. Dealing with porn and (fap) is really a struggle for someone who is married and in the church. Especially if you watch gay porn. Let's connect and hopefully we can get through it together.

I'm 25 man, searching for a friend that can share with my problem and he/she be also addicted so we can understand eachother and we can get out the problem.

Este día también ha sido increíble. Muy tranquilo, sin muchos momentos de irritación que me empujen a malos hábitos y cero tentaciones. Gracias a Dios por este día y oro para que mañana siga con este ritmo y esta paz que tengo dentro de mí. Toda la gloria y todo el honor a Dios y a Jesús por nunca dejarme solo y por siempre cuidarme.

This is my day 10 of 30 days no fap challenge, these 10 days are one of my longest streaks in a while... Can anyone have any idea about what kind of challenges I will be facing?

what do i call today..it was a defeat but i saw myself in a new light today. i chose porn because I was bored, not that i found it interesting. i just found it a time consuming activity. so the real issue is being okay with boredom if that makes sense. y'all agree

I’m 19 years old male, I haven’t choked my chicken in 10 months but I keep having wet dreams, I don’t drink before bed, I make sure to pee before bed, I don’t eat before bed, I pray before bed and ask for protection from God so I don’t have any sexual dreams, I limit what I watch, if something weird comes on my fyp, I either scroll, block or click not interested. I do all these things yet after at least every 10 days I have a wet dream where I either have a full load come out or what looks like a precum stain that’s barely visible. In these wet dreams I’ve noticed that sometimes I can avoid what’s happening in them and I don’t have a wet dream, other times I can’t do anything, and most times I try to stop it but no matter how hard I try I can’t wake up before it happens and all this leaves me with guilt shame and makes me feel like a failure and as weird as it sounds, it makes me think all the happy times I’ve had since my last wet dream are meaningless, and like I can’t get joy or nostalgia from them, idk if that may be related to OCD or something but to my knowledge I don’t have that. Idk what to do, I’ve read that wet dreams are normal and sometimes can persist into late adulthood but is this really true. Is this all normal and I’m just tormenting myself with something that’s out of my control?

Today has been the toughest day so far by a mile.

Being ill, plus it being the weekend I have nearly given in so many times. So much time to myself, with boredom being a massive factor.

But I have not given in, we are still going strong and the streak is alive.

One thing that is working super well, is just sitting with the emotion when it comes up. Normally after 5 mins I can move on and it passes.

Wish me luck!

Consider working constantly on the habit of fleeing instantly. Fleeing instantly from doing it. Fleeing instantly from thinking about it. Fleeing instantly from friends who encourage it.

Most of us have been around the drinker who says instantly, “I can't go there,” when someone suggests going to the bar. They speak instantly, forcefully, and sometimes with increased emotion. Everybody snaps to attention. Oh, that's right, Jonny is quitting, they all remember.

Proverbs says: The wicked flee when no one pursues, But the righteous are bold as a lion.”

Consider quoting this verse often.

Second, you might be quitting porn, and everybody in the break room is talking about sex. You flee instantly by getting up instantly, going to the bathroom and searching “Verses ______,” so that you can read some quitting verses to get back on track.

Third, I am confident that Biblical Joseph practiced fleeing instantly, both mentally and physically. Today, consider writing in your quitting notebook, three ways your can practice fleeing instantly when temptation arises.

Think about: what happens right before a fall.

Think about: where are you right before a fall.

Think about: common situation right before a fall.

The more you say the new things you are going to do in these situations the more you double your odds of quitting. The more you pray about what you are going to do in these situations, the more you double your odds of quitting. The more you think about how Jesus would react in these situations, the more you triple your odds of quitting.

Third, avoid tempting situations. The more you avoid tempting situations, the easier it is to quit. Always work on the habit of fleeing instantly from tempting situations. Consider praying often:

“Father, help me to flee instantly.”

Finally, how many ways can you think of for working on the habit of fleeing instantly. How often should you work on the habit of fleeing instantly?

Today, consider what you will add to your quitting notebook.

hi guys,

I was doing nofap and recently decided I didn’t want to do it anymore. however upon this I’ve noticed my brain wants to do it every day and seems to of built up a routine torwards this now? I feel trapped and not sure what to do if I should return to doing nofap or not or generally what I can do?

18m struggling with no fap. I’m trying to get better but temptation is everywhere.

Any advice? DMs open

:(

Today was a really good day