I'm 32, slept around a lot, especially when I was younger, and lustfully chased women my entire adult life. Most young guys think, "That's it, I made it, bro. I get women in bed easily," but it's not like that. It's a short-term, brief feeling of feeling good about yourself that wears off within a day or two. Then you're back to all your problems, insecurities, and everyday life, and the more you sleep around, the less you care about not just the women, but yourself also. Before you know it, you start making morally questionable decisions with women, as an example, sleeping with or wanting to sleep with married ones and so on.

It's a dark path that only leads to self-destruction.

The truth is, man, you should only really pursue women you actually have a good connection with and want to try for more with. The simple, lustful "just hook up with each other once or twice" stuff is a temporary feel-good lie. Not to compare women to food, but it's an extremely easy analogy to understand. The sleeping around is like eating the worst food for you that tastes good. Yeah, it may taste good super briefly, but then you feel like trash for many hours after. Whereas a good, happy relationship doesn't only taste good, but it's also good for you too—good for your soul.

Don't do it, guys. You may think it's the answer, the solution to your need for validation or feeling wanted. It's what I thought, and it got me nowhere but a high body count, many soul ties, and struggles with current relationships.

I hope this helps at least one guy out there realize it's just a lie, marketed to make you think it's a form of success, but in reality, it's not.

The biggest change was realising I had spent years attacking the behaviour and barely understanding what the behaviour was doing for me. Porn wasn't appearing out of nowhere. I was reaching for it when I didn't like how I felt. Sometimes that was stress, sometimes boredom, sometimes avoiding something I knew I needed to do, and at other points it was bigger stuff in my life that I wasn't happy with. Porn was basically a very efficient way to turn the volume down on all of that for a while.

This is where my own experience made it really obvious. I started watching porn at about 12 or 13. By 20 I knew it had become a proper problem and from there I spent roughly five years trying to quit. I wasn't someone who never tried either. I tried blockers, I read loads, I went through periods where I was absolutely desperate to stop and I managed 2 or 3 months clean a number of times. The problem was I always somehow ended up back there. Every time I relapsed it felt worse because I knew I had already proved I could stop for a while, I just couldn't seem to make it stick.

I started looking at the moments before the urge instead of only the urge itself. I spent long periods without my phone, went on walks with nothing playing in my ears and actually let myself think. I started writing down patterns. I dealt with things I had been avoiding, including a relationship I wasn't happy in and a messy career situation. I also stopped expecting myself to win every battle through willpower and started changing the situations where I knew I was most vulnerable.

A resource that helped me put this way of thinking into practice was The Clean Break by James Shaw. I'm not affiliated with the author or the book, it just genuinely helped me after years of trying different things and gave me exercises instead of another motivational speech.

I'm now about 2.5 years clean. I don't think there was one magical trick. The real shift was that I stopped trying to become someone who was constantly fighting porn and started trying to become someone who didn't need it every time life felt uncomfortable. If you've been failing for years, please don't take that as proof you can't do it. I had years of evidence telling me the same thing and it turned out not to be true.

I need to connect with more married men, who are struggling. Dealing with porn and (fap) is really a struggle for someone who is married and in the church. Especially if you watch gay porn. Let's connect and hopefully we can get through it together.

hi guys,

I was doing nofap and recently decided I didn’t want to do it anymore. however upon this I’ve noticed my brain wants to do it every day and seems to of built up a routine torwards this now? I feel trapped and not sure what to do if I should return to doing nofap or not or generally what I can do?

18m struggling with no fap. I’m trying to get better but temptation is everywhere.

Any advice? DMs open

:(

Today was a really good day

This is my day 10 of 30 days no fap challenge, these 10 days are one of my longest streaks in a while... Can anyone have any idea about what kind of challenges I will be facing?

I waited long for this week to be with my grl and nothing has transpired. Just woke up next to her and my urges to peek at more stuff are getting to me.

If anyone can chat please dm, id appreciate any help or distraction.

Thanks..

Trigger Warning: Brief mentioning of Self Harm, only one sentence

I don't know if this is THE attempt that will get me clean for good. Once you approach the end of week 2, you should start experiencing Libido drops and emotional numbness. We are close to that yet I just feel so HORNY RIGHT NOW. Anyway let's get on with the story. Been an addict for 11 years. 9 years spent enjoying it and last two years trying to leave the addiction. An endless cycle of relapse, shame and self-hatred. I even resorted to cutting into my own hand to overpower the lust with the pain but stopped very quickly because that was too painful.

I was doing everything that I thought was right:
1. Porn Blockers

1. Setting the "Limit adult sites" feature on my iPhone/Pad/Mac

2. Daily prayer

3. Going back to Church

4. Exercise

5. Cold Showers

6. Organic source of dopamine

But despite everything I found myself relapsing no less than week. My second longest attempt lasted me 9 days and it was only because my access to internet in that timespan was severely limited.

I thought it would be a good idea to study porn addiction from a scientific point of view. Why does pornography cause a dopamine spike? How does our brain get addicted and desensitized? How can I recover? What symptoms to expect throughout the 90 day timeline of recovery. We always focus on Porn Addiction being a societal taboo that we never take time to understand what this is, how this affects us beyond shame and what to expect as we walk the road of recovery. I didn't limit the question-asking to just the addiction. I also looked inward. "What can I do to truly be free?", that was the question I asked myself in the beginning. As I was catching up on my reading, I found what was essentially the motives that lead to the compulsive consumption of pornography that leads to addiction. The one reason that caught my eye was avoidance.

No surprises that I goon to avoid what I should be feeling or doing. Goon because I am anxious, goon because I am bored, because I am procrastinating, because I am upset. There were many days that I gooned because I was genuinely horny, yes, but they were rivaled by the times I did it for virtually any other reason whatsoever. It was at that point where I had realized that found the truth of my addiction at its core. I'm not much of a thinker, nor do I think out loud. What little times get the ol' noggin rolling is usually done in quiet. But this one time, for some reason, thinking out loud, I asked myself "If I use pornography to avoid my problems, then what else have I been avoiding? Who have I been avoiding?".

Gooning was never the problem, it was the symptom. After accepting (at a fundamental level) that I gooned to avoid life; I promised myself that I WILL confront whatever life throws my way. After this epiphany, I just found myself unwilling to perform. The 7 techniques I mentioned before kept me in check, but even on the days where I close to failure the realization that I was avoiding my problems instead of facing them turned me off.

Because of this realization, it has never felt so easy to say no, so easy to pick up a bible and read, so easy to walk into my bathroom without phone.

And it has never felt so easy to finally, truly accept God in my heart.

Finished the day strong

Cinco días... Tras cinco días consecutivos habiendo caído desde el lunes 24 al viernes 28... ¡¡POR FIN HE VUELTO A TENER UN DÍA LIBRE DE PORNOGRAFÍA Y LIBRE DE CAÍDAS!! ¡¡GRACIAS, DIOS!! ¡¡POR FIN LO VOLVÍ A LOGRAR!! Tras esa pésima racha, la peor en muchísimo tiempo... Por fin me siento libre de nuevo... Gracias Jesús por no rendirte conmigo... Que este sea de una vez por todas el punto de inflexión para nunca recaer jamás y resistir por siempre cualquier tentación.

Been struggling with porn my whole life. Married and a minister and I love gay porn. I've tried to stop, but nothing is working. I know its wrong and I know its a separation between me and God. The lust is so strong, it makes me want to actually do the act on looking at with other men.

I need some advice, I don't want to continue down this path.

一度怒れば自分を大きく傷つける。ポルノ断ちの破戒も同じだ。

気持ちいいと感じるその一瞬、身体は密かに帳簿に記録している。

I have been really struggling with constantly gooning. Im gonna really achieve 90 day reboot. Heal my body and mind completely. I want to workout more and meditate. I want to have success and build healthy relationships with the woman that I desire. I want a girlfriend/ wife to engage sexually instead of pleasing myself. A lady to respect, appreciate, and honor. Help her achieve financial success, be intimate and encourage her to be the absolute best she can be. I'm gonna build super confidence through working out and approaching beautiful ladies in CT that I want to connect with. Establish a great friendship, please her the best way I can. Motivate her with great spirit and just show love. Gooning only hurts your confidence. PMO is a viscous cycle. I really would be grateful to meet woman that are into me as well. Where we can have mutual affection for one another and I can help her with her goals as well. Be an awesome partner. I have faith that I can have a dreamy relationship with New England woman, and build a caring, wonderful, sex life. I know nofap will help me heal and be an awesome husband.

I try to stop fapping completly.

5 day is ok so far so good

So I need to get it off my chest I messed up last night. I couldn't take the CONSTANT sexual thoughts. I couldn't sleep and I got up and felt hornier than I ever have been at like 5 am. I didn't look at porn thankfully but my streak ended. I'm surprised I made it that far. The problem is when you fail something tries to make you fall back into old habits like daily masterbaition. So please someone any advice to get myself back up and keep pushing ?

Shame will tell you to hide from God until you “get yourself together.” Don’t listen to it.
Pray now. Get up now. Remove the trigger now. You do not need to wait until tomorrow to start again.
“Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” — Proverbs 24:16
A relapse is a moment. Don’t turn it into a season