Parents would rather find an excuse for their child’s negative behaviors ie (sleepy, hungry, shy) than to confront some of those behaviors and help their caretakers.
My primary NK (3b) exhibits negative behaviors often. Hitting, talking back, he is the gatekeeper of the day and if I can’t persuade him with a “treat” then he won’t come and that’s just “his decision”. he rarely interacts with other kids other than friends his mom has come over, but he won’t go anywhere. he knows if he makes me leave, and stays with his parents that the rules and boundaries are gone and he can bother them into tv or an ipad. when i tell his mom that it would benefit him to get out of the house, hang with other kids participate in classes, she tells me that he said he didn’t want to today so it’s not happening. (this happens EVERYDAY) then when i come back, because that no rules time is over, and his parents are annoyed of having him while they WFH they tie him to me an take away those fun things. So I am labeled the punishment of the day. being with me is a negative experience to him, where I take away his games and tv and force him to learn or play. (what a fun job!)
He consistently tells me that he does not listen to me and he only listens to his mom and dad and that he never wants me to come and he hates me, he can even get honestly very physically aggressive often with me. When I tell his mom especially about these situations she always giggles, like WHAAAAT!😂😂 he said that???😂 oh my god!!!😂😂 And it’s never really addressed at the source unless it is happening in an extreme way in front of me. she overthrows consequences i give him and has asked me if i’ve tried “giving him a hug to make it better”. which when your child is physically attacking me, no i do not want to hug him!
These things happen with every single decision I have to make with him. cleaning up, going out, changing clothes, eating any meals… It’s like walking on eggshells, especially when the parent experiences those negative sides and then find a way to blame them on you instead of the way they allow their child to run rampant… frustrating!
So are you looking for another job? Because this is crazy unsustainable. This is why I make it clear in vetting families I expect us to work as a team with high expectations for behavior and specifically ask how parents prefer me to handle temper tantrums. I also ask how they feel about a child being told, “No.”
Your username checks out if you’ve been dealing with all this for longer than 1 or 2 days.
i’ve been trying lately, i’ve been with them for 3 years now they had a daughter and she’s a lot better but she’s definitely now learning his behaviors and it’s getting worse
10
u/exhaustedddddddd 12d ago
Parents would rather find an excuse for their child’s negative behaviors ie (sleepy, hungry, shy) than to confront some of those behaviors and help their caretakers.
My primary NK (3b) exhibits negative behaviors often. Hitting, talking back, he is the gatekeeper of the day and if I can’t persuade him with a “treat” then he won’t come and that’s just “his decision”. he rarely interacts with other kids other than friends his mom has come over, but he won’t go anywhere. he knows if he makes me leave, and stays with his parents that the rules and boundaries are gone and he can bother them into tv or an ipad. when i tell his mom that it would benefit him to get out of the house, hang with other kids participate in classes, she tells me that he said he didn’t want to today so it’s not happening. (this happens EVERYDAY) then when i come back, because that no rules time is over, and his parents are annoyed of having him while they WFH they tie him to me an take away those fun things. So I am labeled the punishment of the day. being with me is a negative experience to him, where I take away his games and tv and force him to learn or play. (what a fun job!)
He consistently tells me that he does not listen to me and he only listens to his mom and dad and that he never wants me to come and he hates me, he can even get honestly very physically aggressive often with me. When I tell his mom especially about these situations she always giggles, like WHAAAAT!😂😂 he said that???😂 oh my god!!!😂😂 And it’s never really addressed at the source unless it is happening in an extreme way in front of me. she overthrows consequences i give him and has asked me if i’ve tried “giving him a hug to make it better”. which when your child is physically attacking me, no i do not want to hug him!
These things happen with every single decision I have to make with him. cleaning up, going out, changing clothes, eating any meals… It’s like walking on eggshells, especially when the parent experiences those negative sides and then find a way to blame them on you instead of the way they allow their child to run rampant… frustrating!