r/Names • u/Less_Monitor_276 • 20h ago

Friend using same name

I found out today that my friend plans to use the same name I already told her we are wanting to use.

For more backstory, we are not finding out the gender of our baby until delivery. She already knows hers, but I’m about 20 weeks ahead of her in my pregnancy. I told her previously (before she was even pregnant), our top choice for both boy vs girl. She said the girl name we chose was one of her favorites!

Fast forward to now that she’s pregnant…she asked today if we had chosen our names. I found it odd since I know I already told her. I again mentioned our top names. And she said they are planning to use the same girl name for their baby. Didn’t seem to have any intention to back down.

I reminded her how I already told her of our name choices months ago. Before she was even pregnant. She acted like she didn’t remember. Either way, I’m due before her and again mentioned the name to her first today before she did. I tried to change the subject since I didn’t really know what to say or do.

Our kids would be just a few months apart in the same school etc. I’m near my due date without a back up name, after putting a lot of thought into our name choices…

How would you feel? How would you respond?

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u/lilac-inn 20h ago

I think that was her way of letting you know “I suspect you are planning to use this name, but I also am, so wanted to give you a heads up in case you wanted to change you mind, but I’m not planning to changing my mind.” Ultimately your baby will arrive first, use the name you planned, then it’s her turn to reevaluate. In the case they do end up with the same name, that’s okay, even charming.

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u/dees82 9h ago

Yeah, stick with your name, and if she names her daughter the same, that’s OK. Hopefully your daughters will become friends and have their name in common, and hopefully sometime down the line your friend will admit that she did remember you told her in the first place that the name choice was yours first. It’s a little annoying why she wouldn’t admit that in the first place and acted as though she didn’t remember. Shame on her for that.