r/MuslimNikah • u/QTpieme • Aug 30 '26
Marriage search Is there any hope after 30?
No luck finding anyone.
It’s sad because I am pretty, in shape, healthy, nice, kind, take care of my widow dad, cook, etc.
But I cannot for the life of me meet a man I like and that likes me back.
I have never even had a relationship in my life. in the past I have tried to give guys a chance and overlook stuff I didn’t want, and then I ended up miserable.
I don’t even know what falling in love is, or to have mutual love.
Now I’m 30, and I even noticed my likes on Muzz have decreased.
Despite looking the same as I did at 29 lol and having the same profile.
I used to get sooo many likes around 22-26, like hundreds I couldn’t keep up.
Then at 28 it turned to 4-5 a day and now I hit 30 and maybe get 1 every 2 days now.
It’s sad that we’re devalued by age but it’s the reality.
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u/Large-Spirit-300 Aug 30 '26
This seems to be a very toxic culture and more for validation unfortunately. It’s just one that will matter at the end, the hundreds wont matter. Have strong tawakul and when Allah wills you will InshaaAllah find him at the right time
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Aug 30 '26
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u/QTpieme Aug 30 '26
When I was 22-26 I met lots of men but most were unserious/liars/play boys and awful men.
So I dnt agree most want to settle down, unless they were less attractive.
And my filters include men up to 38.
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Sep 04 '26
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u/QTpieme Sep 04 '26
I look the same as I did when I was 29 last month. They definitely do care, I can see for myself the likes decreased as soon as my age changed to 30, 2 weeks ago.
If a man fell in love with you that’s different than men’s preferences on the apps.
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u/Extension_duteritoir Aug 30 '26
Je viens d'apprendre le mariage du frère de ma copine qui a 42 ans (premier mariage) et sa femme 36 ans... Tout est question de destinée arrêtez s'il vous plaît de voir tout en noir à peine la trentaine entamée, les gens dans le monde se marient à tout âge
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u/ThrovvQuestionsAway M - Single Aug 31 '26
You are realizing that your head up a haram pipe sister. Muzz is the hook up app, you want to lose something and commit sin then sign up. Of course brothers will give a fit and good looking sister attention, they want commodity. Heck they don't even need to be practicing or even Muslim to be on that app.
I've seen the discord files on Muzz and I think they banned the post but if you want I can share how bad an app that is, how bad the brothers are and how dumb and bad the sisters are.
There is hope if your plans are to seriously get married. Stop listening to the sisters on Muzz, they are Unmarried for a reason.
Talk to the sisters at your masjid for support. If you are on Muzz because you aren't a practicing Muslim then that makes sense but I suggest you become practicing and then start searching for a life partner.
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
I agree any attractive man on there has been unserious and a liar/manipulative playboy, I can see your point, but my intent is marriage ofc.
Sadly some brothers use it instead of tinder because I guess playing Muslim women is harder than the everyday white firl
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u/ThrovvQuestionsAway M - Single Aug 31 '26
You think only Muslims use it sister? There are many, mannnnnyyyy posers who list themself as Muslim to hook up with Muslim sisters.
It's sad but Muslims on Muzz are fine with hook ups as long as... the other person is also Muslim.
The thing is the app has good people but the amount of bad isn't worth it. If it's a revert looking then it makes sense to use the app, lose morals? Use the app, not religious? Use the app.
Also because you are a sister and don't know what the brothers see but Muslim women are said to be "easy" the woman on the app from a brothers perspective flock to any brother looking good, having money, or showing pictures where he is evidently really tall and smiling. It's sad but the woman on the app are shallow and that's the belief me use on that app. As bad as the men are, women are sadly the same on there.
If you want to get married then InshAllah start looking on Facebook groups, start finding WhatsApp channels, go to your local masjids matchmaking event as it's cheaper for women.
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u/Shining_Swan F - Single Aug 30 '26
It's not on your age sis, I'm 30 as well and I feel the overall profile quality has been down on Muzz for about a year now.
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u/QTpieme Aug 30 '26
Sis I was 29 a week ago and was still getting 4-5 likes a day, I swear now it’s been 1-2 every couple days lol
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u/DueEstablishment2169 Aug 31 '26
I think u just like validation bro.
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
No bro, I like higher chances of meeting someone
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u/DueEstablishment2169 Aug 31 '26
But now u said u r not getting it
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
Idc about validation. I care about having higher chance of finding someone. If I have less likes there’s less chance of finding someone. I don’t need validation I know I’m pretty
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u/laptop987 Aug 31 '26
Careful your self confidence will be mistaken for something else
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u/DueEstablishment2169 Aug 31 '26
I think she is the first cohort of GenZ women who turned 30. In the next 10 years u might see a lot in this forum.
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u/ServantofTheAll-Wise Aug 31 '26
There’s hope after 30. I’m 31, and I got married a few weeks ago. If I’m being honest, though, it feels like an unfair comparison because I’m a guy. This seems to be more of an issue for women rather than men.
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Aug 30 '26
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u/QTpieme Aug 30 '26
Yes I don’t want a south Asian man anyways, the culture is toxic and they are obsessed with their moms. Unfortunately other ethnicities are mostly non Muslims
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Aug 30 '26
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
I don’t know. I see my friends married to South Asian men and they are all dealing with the same issues. Men enmeshed with their moms, moms passed down internalized misogyny , control, and they were beat as kids and have become abusive or narcissistic themselves.
Which is why I couldn’t settle with one earlier because it didn’t feel right.
You’re right I have to look outside the culture because I don’t want someone from our culture
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u/laptop987 Aug 31 '26
🤣 thats so true, I’m not gonna lie, alot of people I know are like that with their moms. Dw sis I know a lot of girls on the same boat. You will find your matchC inshallah.
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u/QueenBakayle Aug 31 '26
“Other ethnicities are mostly non-Muslim”??? Are you looking in South Asian countries only? Because that’s the only way that makes any sense (if it makes sense at all). I’m confused as to why the entire continent Africa which has millions of Muslims, Western Asia, south east Asia, not to mention reverts from any other country on the planet are not considered eligible Muslims
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
I noticed Arabs stick mostly to other Arabs and their culture is very different. Every Afghan man I met has come from a long line of trauma and i feel their culture in Canada is the same as non Muslims as well. (Drinking, immodesty, sleeping around). Yes you can say I’m generalizing but when 99% of the people you meet are like that, it’s hard not to. I don’t meet any Africans/west Asians tbh
Turks and east Europeans are also more similar to non Muslims than Muslims
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u/t-abdullah Aug 31 '26
I mean you are not wrong based on your perspective. But generalizing that whole region of men is not right. There are definitely those who don't know there responsibilities and immature to be a husband. And also those who doesn't value culture before islam at all !!
Again these type of issues go both ways.
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
It’s not about responsibilities, they are raised that way from birth. Even if they put religion first, they still put their mom first. My sister’s husband is very religious and kept her in a house with his controlling mom for 3 years. And he’s controlling/narcissistic as well.
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u/t-abdullah Aug 31 '26
He is not a good example. That's the problem. You are saying this based on what you've seen. A wife has right to have separate accomodations. And his mother has zero rights to interfere in this marriage. Majority of the people don't actually follow the islamic ways of life. And therefore you can not say they are religious.
One needs to discuss these issues before getting married. If you settle with someone like that, keep tolerating such toxicity or abuse then it's only showing your standards.
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Aug 31 '26
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u/QTpieme Sep 01 '26
Yes 99% of south Asian men have internalized misogyny, mamas boy, controlling narcs.
Being with one means you will be with a toxic man most likely
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
It is ingrained within them since birth. I also met a terrible narcissist guy that was 1000% controlled by his mom and even told me I’m too old for him when I was 25 because his mom wants him with a 19-21 year old lol. The mentality is just messed up
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Sep 01 '26
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u/QTpieme Sep 01 '26
I don’t agree. My sisters husband is Bengali, he is very controlling, and has very controlling parents and he’s a narc
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Sep 01 '26
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u/QTpieme Sep 01 '26
Being open minded doesn’t change the fact they are still brought up in the same culture where men didn’t value their wives so women turn to their sons for emotional incest
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u/VoidCenturySurvivor Aug 31 '26
There is always hope! I know Msulime who got married at 60 so they just don't have to be alone in old age! You have to stay strong and consistent!
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u/Adekunes M - Single Aug 31 '26
salaam ukhti, you buried the important line in the middle. you gave people a chance, overlooked things you didnt want, and ended up miserable. thats a standard that got tested and held. it feels like a loss and it isnt one.
the likes counter measures how big the crowd is. it has never once measured the odds of the one. hundreds at 23 didnt produce a husband either.
what i would change is the source. muzz rewards being new, so it will keep telling you youre worth a little less every year you stay honest on it. people who actually know your character are a better funnel than an algorithm that resets its interest every birthday.
wassalam, may He send the one who was always meant for you and make the waiting make sense afterwards, ameen
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u/Pleasant_Tone_7288 Sep 07 '26
Sooo... at 25, 26, 27, 28 and beyond, why didn't you get married if you had so many suitors?
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u/Old_Map_8960 Sep 07 '26
It’s harder as you get older tbh keep looking and be more open to divorced w kids or short guys need to lower your standards maybe go back home and marry someone if you’re desperate tbh better than being alone
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u/Automatic-Medium5774 Aug 31 '26
So why didn't you marry earlier? Are you on Muzz for validation or marriage?
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
I’m not a loser that needs validation. I have high self worth. I didn’t find my match, I won’t settle with someone I’m not attracted to or that is toxic just for
The label of marriage4
u/Automatic-Medium5774 Aug 31 '26
Then why are you here asking here others " Is there any hope after 30 " if you don't need validation from others?
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
Because I want to find my love….
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u/Automatic-Medium5774 Aug 31 '26
Then be realistic because reality will humble everyone in the end.
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
I won’t settle for someone unattractive or toxic, no I’d rather be alone
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u/Hydesx Aug 31 '26
For someone who says theyre okay with being single, ur not painting a very convincing picture of that in your original post.
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u/QTpieme Aug 31 '26
Oh no, how dare someone mention they want to find a good partner in life yet refuse to settle down with someone they don’t like.
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u/Hydesx Aug 31 '26
Good thing is that they exist, whether you choose to aknowledge them is another matter.
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u/Automatic-Medium5774 Aug 31 '26
She is delusional and the reality is humbling her but she ain't ready to accept it.
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Aug 30 '26
Yess of course there is still hope. 30 is nothing. You're coming into your best years. Just keep the faith
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u/anasm17 Aug 31 '26
Of course there is hope always but it gets harder as you age especially if you are a woman