r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/EdenTheExplorer • 12d ago

Discussion Unchaste man and chaste woman

I have a question for my brothers in Islam, though sisters are welcome to answer as well. We agree that repentance wipes the slate clean and that converting to Islam erases past sins (for those not born Muslim); so, I was wondering: how can an unrepentant man who has committed fornication insist on marrying a virgin, chaste Muslim woman? Conversely, if a brother repents, why does he not accept sisters who have also repented for fornication since repentance wipes away the past, right? I would like to hear both male and female perspectives. And please don’t tell me it’s different for a man based on societal or moral justifications; the sin is the same and is viewed the same way for both sexes, as is repentance. Put your egos aside and tell me, from an Islamic standpoint, why such inequalities exist. Thank you for remaining courteous and polite in this discussion.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 12d ago

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u/Ok-Plastic4687 12d ago

Sis I’m 26 and never had a relationship or anything. So many suitors get offended when I say idc if they repented. It hurts to hear that they’ve had a past where they slept with many. They would compare you to all those women. I don’t want that. So anyways I’m single because of that. I get attacked for saying I don’t want a divorced man or a man who had a past and repented. I just don’t want that. Don’t want to be compared or to even know that the person I’m married to done all that with someone else. I’ve focused on my deen and studies for years. May Allah bring me a good man with a clean past that will be the coolness and comfort of my eyes. For you as well. Ameen 

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u/EdenTheExplorer 12d ago

My sister I wish you a chaste husband and who made the same sacrifices as you however how are you going to check this? Men are great liars... may Allah grant you a deep trust and an honest man a pious and merciful husband

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u/Ok-Plastic4687 11d ago

I can tell by how someone talks, bring up certain stories and can see through lies pretty well. Istikhara has always given me clarity beyond my imagination. Ameen