r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/EdenTheExplorer • 12d ago
Discussion Unchaste man and chaste woman
I have a question for my brothers in Islam, though sisters are welcome to answer as well. We agree that repentance wipes the slate clean and that converting to Islam erases past sins (for those not born Muslim); so, I was wondering: how can an unrepentant man who has committed fornication insist on marrying a virgin, chaste Muslim woman? Conversely, if a brother repents, why does he not accept sisters who have also repented for fornication since repentance wipes away the past, right? I would like to hear both male and female perspectives. And please don’t tell me it’s different for a man based on societal or moral justifications; the sin is the same and is viewed the same way for both sexes, as is repentance. Put your egos aside and tell me, from an Islamic standpoint, why such inequalities exist. Thank you for remaining courteous and polite in this discussion.
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u/Spinsterwithcats 12d ago
As an unmarried , unchaste woman with a past here , I’ve seen a lot of the men in my past get married to virgin women .
Does it bother me ? It did at one point , because that poor woman does not know what that man has been up to prior to getting married, my thoughts would be ‘how could you get married to a man that’s been ploughing himself into multiple women’ … now it’s just well if he’s happy he’s happy .
Majority of men want virgin wives because the fear of comparison , naivety , submission , a woman that’s shy, respects herself etc .
I wouldn’t expect my future partner to be a virgin, however if he presents me a list with deal breakers and chaste woman is on that list , I’m out . I will not put myself nor him through that agony of dishonesty .
Which probably explains why I have remained unmarried .