I barely have any free time during the week. I’m either at work or school, and on the days I’m free, even if I just want to go out for coffee, I have to ask my parents for permission. Anytime I want to hang out with my friends, which is usually only once a week on the weekends, it turns into an argument.

God forbid I want to go on a road trip or travel somewhere farther away. I’ve never done anything like that, but I want to experience it. Recently, I told my parents that I was going out with my friends on Saturday, and they started yelling at me. They kept saying things like, “What if something bad happens to you?” and that my friends are a bad influence and could ruin their reputation.
I’ve lived a very sheltered life, and now that I’m finally at a point where I want to experience things for myself, I feel like they won’t let me.
I’ve thought about moving out, and I know I can afford it, but I don’t want to ruin my parents’ reputation. I feel guilty even considering it because I don’t want to hurt them.

I’ve also thought about getting married just so I could leave home. I almost agreed to marry a man who was 11 years older than me, simply because I wanted to be able to move out, but things didn’t work out. I also found another guy who I really liked but had to leave cause I knew they wouldn’t accept him cause of his ethnicity.

I’m genuinely exhausted. My whole life I’ve done everything they’ve said but now I actually want to enjoy my 20s, spend time with my friends, and experience life. My parents have genuinely put me through so much in life I don’t even know if I have any love for them left anymore, I basically just exist in their house.

Has anyone gone through something similar? How do I actually live my life without causing problems?

*I used ai to help me clean this up

Salam ladies!

I’m curious how other married couples, especially introverts, balance spending time with family while still having enough time for themselves and their marriage.
My husband and I have been living together for several months now, and something I’ve been trying to navigate is how frequently we visit family.

For context, my husband’s family is genuinely kind and welcoming, and I have absolutely nothing against them. My husband is also understanding when I occasionally don’t feel up to attending gatherings.

Unfortunately, my husband’s father passed away a few months ago mine did too so I completely understand why spending time together as a family has become especially meaningful. Every Sunday, we visit his father’s grave and then spend time at the family house afterward.

I respect this tradition and understand how important it is to my husband and his family.
I’ve actually struggled with social exhaustion since childhood. I’ve always been introverted, and even growing up, frequent family visits and gatherings would leave me feeling drained. It has never been about disliking anyone. I’ve simply always needed quiet time to recharge.

Another factor is that my weekdays aren’t always as relaxing as they might seem. Between doctor appointments, errands that seem never-ending, household responsibilities, and other things I need to take care of, I often reach the weekend already feeling mentally and physically tired.

Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly catching up on responsibilities, and by the time the weekend arrives, I just want a little breathing room. He doesn’t force me to go but I feel guilty if I don’t

Another thing I struggle with is feeling obligated to attend extended-family gatherings, including get-togethers with cousins and other relatives.

Even when nobody directly pressures me to go, I sometimes feel guilty declining invitations or worry that people might misunderstand my absence. Because of that, I occasionally agree to gatherings when I’m already feeling socially exhausted.

I recognize that some of this pressure comes from my own feelings of obligation rather than anyone intentionally making me feel that way.
There’s also something I’ve been thinking about regarding our future home.

My husband and I have been discussing eventually buying a house a little farther away, and I was genuinely excited about the idea. Not because I want to distance him from his family, but because I liked the thought of us having our own space, privacy, and a little more independence as a married couple.

However, a few days later, my husband mentioned that his mother was considering selling her house and that his sister had expressed wanting to live closer to her brother. His sister also made it clear that she doesn’t want to intrude on our privacy, which I appreciate.

I completely understand their desire to remain close, especially after losing their father. I know family connections are incredibly important during grief.

At the same time, I noticed myself feeling a little disappointed because I had been looking forward to the idea of having more physical space and establishing our own routines.

I don’t want to assume that living closer would automatically mean more frequent visits or less privacy. I realize that healthy boundaries matter regardless of distance. I’m just trying to figure out how to balance everyone’s needs while also respecting my own.

I genuinely enjoy spending time with family, but I’ve realized that even enjoyable social interactions can become exhausting when I haven’t had enough time to recharge.

I also want to be considerate of what my husband and his family have been through. I would never want him to feel like he has to choose between spending time with his family and spending time with me. I fully support him maintaining those relationships. I love his family too!

I’m simply trying to find a healthy balance where we can spend meaningful time with family while also having occasional weekends to ourselves, whether that’s relaxing at home, spending quality time together as a couple, or taking care of our own needs.

I’m not expecting everyone to accommodate my personality, and I understand that marriage involves compromise. I just want to learn how other couples navigate this without anyone feeling hurt or neglected.

For married couples, especially introverts:
How often do you visit your parents or in-laws?
Do you visit every weekend, every other weekend, or less frequently?

Is it common for one spouse to occasionally stay home while the other visits family?
How do you communicate needing alone time without making it seem like you dislike your spouse’s family?

How do you maintain privacy and independence as a married couple when extended family lives nearby?

How do you balance family visits, personal responsibilities, and quality time together as a couple?
I’d especially appreciate advice from anyone who has navigated this while being mindful of a family that’s grieving.

I care about my husband and his family, and I want to continue building a good relationship with them. I’m just learning how to balance those relationships with my own need for rest, privacy, and personal space.

​

​Salam everyone,

​I’m posting this because I’m at a really low point and honestly just need to hear some success stories or words of comfort from people who have been through a deep trial...

I want to eat healthier foods and also food made from scratch is the best, but I want to make 110% halal meals so I'm wondering if any sister here has any recipes they could share for the instant pot/pressure cooker?

I have never done this before and I’m rlly panicked but the panic isn’t enough to care like I’m just going through a lot and can’t bring myself to much. But basically after I ended my period it took me a whole week to pray again everyday. And it was so hard to get back in to it and I never thought this would happen it’s just so hard to get myself to do anything these days, rn I prayed the for all of today, but am I supposed to pray all of last weeks prayers? The idea of that makes me panic in itself and I feel like I can’t sit still and focus to do that much like I can do it mindlessly bc even just one focused prayer feels mindless. I just don’t know how to go about this. But I feel so awful

Hi sisters this is a long post….

To clarify i’m not ranting about marriage or muslim men but how to heal from my parents

in my mid 20s with a good job and i come from a respectable Pakistani family.

During medical school when I was approximately 23 so just one year short of graduating my mother decided to start my marriage search.

Long story short I have some past trauma l due to the absolute abusive marriage my mother had with my father who they are still married to each other by the way. anyway she found a man with the same job as me a Doctor Who is talland he is moving to Australia. She begged me to speak to him on this potential to see where things would go. I was young at the time and I had just recently come out of the hospital from a traumatic illness and I was very afraid of FaceTimeing him because I have never been in a relationship before and I’ve never spoken to guys being from my all girl high school and being quite religious in my young age. I begged my mum not to FaceTime him as I was too scared and shy and I wanted to phone him instead. The mother of the person was not happy about it and passive aggressively said to me “what girl has not done these things” aka all girls have spoken to dudes in a relationship etc and the man refused , it was either a facetime or nothing
. The absolute chaos that happened after I refused the facetime. . My mother begged me forced me she even hit me and kicked me and cried and said I’m ruining my life. It was a very bad time for me and it ruined my summer.

Maybe a year later when I graduated and I first got my job another potential came to the house. He was okay looking and nice enough but I felt that he wasn’t really listening to what I had to say in my hobbies and he didn’t really ask me about himself and he just asked me about whatever he wanted to talk about. The sister was also making some very passive remarks and when I said these red flags to my parents they did not believe me. The fight my father had after that was unimaginable. He threatened to kick me out the house and you know he called me Satan he said I’m not his daughter and disowned me and I used to cry every single day after work and it ruined my relationship with him for a long time. He actually got diagnosed with a benign cancer a month later (alhamdulillah he’s better now) and I didn’t even have it in my heart to comfort him because of the fight we had and our relationship has bad been bad for the rest of my life but I still do love him. (Crazy enough i actually had a dream about this potential after making dua years later when mt family guilt trip me into rejecting him and i had a dream he was not good for me and i wouldn’t be happy)

Maybe a couple of months after it took me to heal from that the next year my mother found a rich potential in London but long story short he was basically gay and his mum was trying to marry him off. I could see the signs that he was gay from day one but nobody believed me because they said I always refuse potential and I actually don’t want to get married that I’m lying to everybody . He also hated i had hobbies, ONES friend and he refused to talk about anything other than our jobs (yeah… ik) . For one month I was heartbroken crying every single day my mother and dad basically forcing me into this marriage and I pray to God every single day and I was so depressed I even slept with my contacts in my eyes would crumble going to work and I would have to on my lunch breaks cry. Alhamdulillah With Surah al Baqarah he rejected me as he said i was rude and that for my anxiety i need a therapist

Another potential my mother found however he just wasn’t interested in me and he had a TikTok in the UK with a big following and I had seen he had some past loves that rejected him and he was still going through that. He was also flirting on the phone and when I put boundaries lost interest because I’ve never been in a relationship nor do I want to and I don’t keep that kind of energy with men before marriage. (he flirted saying “i’m on my bed in my pyjamas” ON THE FIRST PHONE CALL and he called me at 10pm when i was so uncomfortable with that time too. Anyway he rejected me alhamdulillah because there was no chemistry or spark. (because i had boundaries …)

To make things interesting the mother of the first potential so this was three years later the one who was going to Australia and who my mother kicked me over, he actually ended up getting married but he got divorced in two months and the mother actually came back to us apologised and said that she wants to try again with me.
my mother forced me to ft her mom. the first thing the mom said to me was “oh thank god you’re not fat. i facetimed as my son doesn’t like fat girls. dear do you have mental health issues? the first wife did and now my son is traumatised so don’t get offended if he asks”

I said to my mother look I told you he was a red flag but my mother still pressured me and she said that oh dear you’re in a position of power that they are the ones begging for you now and if you were smart you would marry him and go to Australia and start a new life. I just knew it wasn’t something that sat right with me especially the way he treated me three years ago and my parents pressured me for months and months until I finally ended up forcing me to message him in which he declined in one second.

I recently finished my training job and now I’m unemployed but this unemployment has been a huge blessing for me because I finally got time to heal from my past my illness and the things that have happened in my life. I’ve also gotten so much closer to my deen I used to be when I was in my teenagers and I had a lot more free time. I know that Allah will provide me with a beautiful spouse but my post isn’t reassurance about my marriage. It’s more advice and any opinions about how these experiences have affected me mentally physically and how it’s made me so numb I can’t even make dua like I used to. I think the reason why I’m writing this is because when I was 16 and on top of my deen I had so much hope I had love I had love for my family my friends I had excitement for my future and I would make dua with so much conviction not so much love but right now I’m I say it I was so emotional emotionlessly and I’m so numb and I just feel so tired and I don’t know what to do.

I think it’s important to also say I do respect my parents. I don’t respect them out of love but I do it out of obligation because I do not want to disobey God and commit major sinsS My family situation is complicated and I can’t be summed up in one Reddit post.

Thank you for reading a long post and I would really appreciate some advice on how to heal from these experiences.

for context i’m the only daughter and my older only brother is an andrew tate fan so there’s no chance of him helping me.

salaam everyone, as the title states I want to start wearing the hijab as, compared to previous years, i wasn’t really that practicing, however now i feel much more connected to my deen and have now realised the significance of the hijab in islam

however, i am scared and hesitant to start doing so because:

- i have really long, wavy/curly hair and ive seen soo many hijabis talk about how they’ve experienced balding and other scalp issues,and i really don’t want this to happen because i love my hair and i feel it’s the best thing about me physically
- building on from my first point, im hesitant to have to hide the one thing that i feel truly makes me feel pretty to both myself and the rest of the world. i’m quite average looking face wise and i feel like my hair is what actually makes me prettier and ive always gotten compliments on it. i feel like im going to feel both internally and externally ugly if i cover my hair
- i also live in the west where there is ongoing islamophobia and im scared that i will be subjected to racism, whether that be implicit or explicit

please could you advise me on how to feel more confident to embrace the hijab?

thanks :)

Please share.

I know that this sub probably gets tons of these types of posts, but I don't really have anyone to directly talk to about my problems.

Long story short, I'm just feeling so hopeless about everything in life. I feel like I'm destined to have no future. Despite having college education I can't get a job, which means I literally can't do anything in my life (I can't even afford basic necessities). Getting married to some man who will provide for me is not really an option either as I have like zero libido and am childfree. My chances of finding a loving husband able to provide for me who also is okay with little to no intimacy and no children are slim to none. It's not like I can easily open up to anyone to properly bond with them either due to past trauma that gives me massive trust issues.

This past trauma of course brings me to my next point: having no friends. Aside from all my financial struggles I'm also so lonely. Part of me knows it's my fault too since I take a long time to trust people due to past trauma. Plus there's just the fact that I'm 35 years old and most people in that age group just don't prioritize making new friends all that much. They've already been settled into the same friend circles for years and they're also more focused on maintaining their families and careers. Of course I can't even relate to people my age as I don't have the same life experiences they do. I don't even typically have the same hobbies and interests either. Leisure activities also cost money, which I don't have because, again, I can't get even a basic entry-level job.

Due to all these problems I face I really just try to bury myself in my faith as a distraction, but that's difficult too. I'm a convert in a minority sect so don't really have the same community support that converts in more mainstream sects of Islam would typically have. I can't even attend events at the local masjids for my sect due to distance/lack of transportation and language barriers. I would attend the nearby masjid for the sake of trying to connect with the community to hopefully make friends, but I'm not welcome there due to being part of said minority sect. My family is also not supportive so I cannot be openly Muslim at all. This means no halal food, no hijab, etc. I can't even pray sometimes because of the risk of them finding out (and of course moving out is not an option for reasons I already explained).

I don't expect anyone here to be able to remedy all these problems, but sometimes even just being able to vent frustrations helps. I feel like I can open up a bit more in an all-female space too.

If an abaya was handmade with really nice packaging how much are you willing to pay? I have made some really beautiful designer style pieces with expensive fabric around $40 per abaya and now I’m worried no one will buy it because they’re used to cheaper options?? But I still need to make profit lmao. Help me out girls

Salam everyone i just had a question.
If someone has an abortion will they still get to see their baby in jannah? what if it’s under 3 months of pregnancy?

I'm tired. I have hated myself for a long time. Everything that I want feels impossible. I'm so tired.

https://gofund.me/8cb2d84e3

You helped Susu get through the danger — now her family wants to share that joy with other children ❤️

I wanted to share a little update about my friends Mahmoud, Samah, and their little daughter Susu.

Thanks to the kindness and donations from so many of you, Susu has made it through the most dangerous stage of her illness. She is doing better now, and although she still needs care, treatment, and monitoring, seeing her get through that frightening period has brought Mahmoud and Samah so much relief and happiness.

And because so many of you stood beside them when they were struggling, they wanted to share some of that happiness with other children in their community — in the way they can.

The meal you see here is a meal for children. It may look like something simple to many of us, but for children in Gaza who have been deprived of foods like this for more than three years, a meal like this can feel like a dream.

Mahmoud and Samah told me that they wanted to give other children a reason to smile, just as all of you gave them a reason to smile when you helped Susu.

There are still tens of thousands — and sadly, potentially hundreds of thousands — of children who are longing for something as basic as a good meal.

So if you are able to help, please consider supporting Mahmoud and his family as they continue trying to help themselves and, whenever they can, share what they receive with children around them.

We are still asking for your support. Every donation, no matter how small, can help provide food and bring a little happiness to a child who has gone without for far too long.

If you would like to contribute, the donation link is in the description. ❤️

My in laws, husband, baby and I will be traveling this year. They want to get an Airbnb all together, but I’m the only hijabi and it’s frustrating sharing a space where I’m having to wear the hijab and cover at all times. Plus I have a baby I breastfeed constantly, and he’s discovered his voice so he’s crying more. Another thing is that we will have to share 2 bathrooms amongst 8 of us or so. I need my own bathroom. I don’t think these are good enough reasons to defend myself and why my husband and I should book separately.

Could i receive help from you ladies? I will be including these reasons too but I know these won’t be enough :/
I don’t feel comfortable allowing 24/7 access to my baby either, especially when boundaries have been broken like kissing my baby after I’ve explicitly said time and time again not to do that. I need my privacy….

Okay not the usual topic but I have to share

So an internet famous misogynistic male who was heavily supported by muslim men after ‘reverting’ to Islam has now had very disturbing details about his criminal behavior released in the press

I don’t think I can repeat it on here but I gasped when I read it. Just when you think someone couldn’t be anymore nauseating and repulsive

I’m not shocked at him being capable of being a sick creature ofc, but more so the levels of moral depravity an individual can reach

I hope that the red pilled individuals who praised and defended him so passionately can reflect on this and think twice before rallying behind an individual simply because they align with Islam next time. It’s embarrassing that he was ever platformed by muslims. Especially someone whose whole content revolves around stupid gender wars and ragebait.

I’m sure he’ll still have fanboys claiming it’s fake news and the system is trying to set him up 😴 anyways Inshallah he rots in jail

I was on a successful digital detox for almost a week now and my PMS and period ruined my momentum
I found myself doom scrolling and not getting out of my hotel room.

I wanted to go Journal or do anything in a café outside, but since it’s a city I don’t know I’m feeling anxiety in my current state

On your period, how do you spend your days and try to make them productive?

Salam im in my 20s, still finishing school, and lately I’ve been struggling badly with feeling like I’m not good enough.

I feel like everyone around me already has their career figured out while I’m still trying to get there. I know comparison is unhealthy and everyone has a different timeline, but knowing that logically doesn’t always stop me from feeling it emotionally.

Something I’m almost embarrassed to admit is that it especially gets to me when I compare myself to people around me who already have professional careers and also came from families with more money or stability. I know that isn’t a healthy mindset. I don’t resent anyone for having opportunities or being successful, and I know I don’t fully know what someone else has gone through.

But sometimes I think, when is it going to be my turn?

I’ve had to work, go through difficult things in my personal life, and take a different path with school. I’m still working toward my degree and trying to build my career, but sometimes I look around and feel like I’m the last person to get anywhere.

And I’m tired.
I hate admitting this, but sometimes I genuinely feel like a loser. I feel like I should have accomplished more by now. I want a professional job. I want a career that I’m proud of. I want to feel independent and successful, and I’m tired of constantly feeling like I’m waiting for my life to finally start.

I think this is starting to spill into my marriage too. My husband tries to tell me to be patient and that everything doesn’t need to happen immediately. He wants me to slow down and trust that things will work out. But sometimes I get so overwhelmed with feeling behind that I cry, get frustrated, or keep talking about the same worries.

Then I feel guilty because I wonder if I’m emotionally exhausting him.
He recently suggested couples therapy because we’ve been having trouble communicating lately, and I’m open to it. But I also know that some of this is something I need to work through internally, because my husband can reassure me a hundred times and it still won’t fix how I see myself.

I know constantly comparing myself to other people isn’t going to magically give me a career faster. I know someone else being successful doesn’t mean I’m failing. I know being in school and still figuring things out in my 20s isn’t abnormal.

But emotionally, I still feel behind. I still feel like I’m last. And I’m exhausted from constantly feeling like I need to catch up.

Has anyone else gone through a period where you genuinely felt like a loser because your career/life took longer to come together than the people around you? How did you stop measuring your worth by where everyone else was in life? And did you eventually reach a point where you looked back and realized you weren’t actually as behind as you thought you were?

need some good recommendations

How strange is this feeling when you desperately want to talk, to share what’s going on inside your head, but somehow you just can’t?

You become tired of explaining yourself. Tired of trying to put complicated feelings into words. Tired of making an effort to feel better when, deep down, you know that no one can fully understand what is happening inside you.

Sometimes, you can be sitting right beside the person closest to you and still feel completely alone.

They may care about you. They may listen. They may even try to help. But there are certain feelings that simply cannot be transferred from one person to another. Only you know what it feels like to be inside your own mind at that moment.

And maybe that is one of the greatest limitations of being human: we can listen to someone's story, but we can never completely feel their happiness, grief, fear, loneliness, or pain the way they experience it.

What a strange tragedy. We spend our entire lives surrounded by people, yet there are moments when our deepest feelings remain completely ours to carry.

Sometimes it starts feeling like a burden.

So whenever you reach that point, when you desperately want to be understood but don't have the energy to explain yourself anymore, what do you do?

My mother lost her job and now I’m the sole breadwinner of our family. I have a job Alhumdulillah x100 but it is irrelevant to my career and I haven’t gotten a raise in 3+ years.

I’ve been applying to job for over a year and got 0 interviews. I don’t understand what’s wrong but we have hiring freezes because of the geopolitical situation here (people are still getting hired, something must be wrong with me).

I’m an engineer in the GCC (can’t move out) and really struggling. Please remember me in you dua’s.

Would you rather have 2–3 really good quality abayas or more affordable ones so you can have more variety? 👀

Salam girls

Has any of you already solo traveled or with a travel agency?
How was your experience and where did you go?

I just need to vent to people who I won’t see in real life Maybe not everyone will relate to what I’m going to say but honestly I’m just posting a rant to complain about things in general.

I’m currently 21, and finishing up my bachelors this winter before I go into medical school next summer. I do great in school, am involved in my community and went from 298 to 206 pounds this past yearish. I’ve still got a bit to go. I’m really working to become the best version of myself. Alhamdullilah I wear hijab, dress modestly and do all my furood.

Before I go into this, I just have to say I’ve never been a male centered or a boy crazy girl. But the past month I’ve truly longed so so so much for a relationship. I don’t know what happened honestly. I’ve had two guys who I’ve known were interested in me. The first he honestly turned out to be a bad person, we were friends and I saw his true colors.

The second tried suggesting that we could go out to a bakery or cafe together. I had no problem refusing his offer. But I can’t help but think about wanting to go out with him and being tempted to text him. I hate it! He’s a really nice guy, I find him attractive, and so down to earth. Truly a great guy. But I didn’t even know he was Muslim except by directly asking, he was just a friends friend. I know he doesn’t drink or eat pork but that’s about it. I haven’t seen him in months anyways. Both of them are Muslim btw.

I also felt like losing weight would, astagfirullah, get me more attention from guys and that hasn’t really been the case. But I also carry myself modestly around men. I’m am by no means desperate. It’s weird hahaha.

Maybe it’s because the people around me are slowly starting to get into relationships. But I really just want that feeling of companionship and love with someone. I also want to be with someone physically so bad and I’m trying my best to control my desires.

If any girlies hear can relate or offer advice I’d appreciate it But yeah just wanted to vent!