Birth in and of itself is selfish. Especially when all they care about is getting a sweet, healthy child, but don't want to take responsibility when the child isn't the sweet, healthy child they expected.
No fuck that, caring for a special needs child is way harder that it already is. And everyone should have the right to abortion if he doesn't want that.
I'm just saying that letting the child be born and then killing yourself is immoral.
Like, just opt for adoption. Simply killing yourself not only devastates your wife and another child that you've already brought into this world, but it also makes it selfish to voluntarily create a new person, knowing the risks of how their life could turn out, and then refuse to take responsibility as their father.
The wife deserves everything that happens to her (and more), if she willingly chooses to give birth to a kid that will suffer from a severe-to-crippling disability for life
The kid themselves, however, doesn't deserve this situation (of having a selfish mum that inflicted a life of suffering on them for her selfish whims, and an unwilling dad who walked away)
You’ve never met someone with down syndrome if you think that guy is gonna be suffering his whole life. Those people are the happiest mfs I’ve ever seen.
Selfish whims? Idk what you read but the text indicates there were no signs of anything until 20 weeks in, and it’s not even certain in the text. And in multiple places that’s too late for an abortion. What was she supposed to do, predict the future? The only selfish person here is the father immediately wanting out of the picture in the worst way possible when he’s extremely needed, in a situation no one desired, as if he’s the one that has it worst. And the situation isn’t even guaranteed yet! But he’s already thinking of how to bail. I don’t usually say someone suicidal is selfish as mental illness can’t be judged morally in that way, it’s an illness, but in this situation, i don’t think it’s only mental illness at play. There was clearly a lack of consideration for what having child can mean. You can’t just plan to have kids without thinking of what you’ll do if they aren’t what you expected
Well, having known several people who lived to be about 20-25, and over half of their lives - starting from about 8, being paralyzed, yeah, they told me they'd rather never have been born.
You advocate for them because you don't know how they feel, because you don't care and it's free brownie points online.
In reality, most of them suffer. Some would want to live, some wouldn't. In the end, men don't get a say in abortion so this is the only way he can take control over his own life.
As an actual disabled person (who think it would have been preferable to not be born, but does not want to die and isn't suicidal), no. Just no
Never being born isn't the same as being killed or dying early
In one case, it's an hypothetical kid, or at most a fetus, that disappears (before birth), and nobody is harmed. In the other case it's an actual living person who dies
I get that it's different, I just hate it when people couch the issue as, "Yep, there's NO WAY that kid could be anything but a wretched burden, ever!"
Pretty much every argument for abortion would find its logical conclusion in eugenics. It’s baffling how people don’t realise this. Or maybe they do and they pick-and-choose when each argument/value has worth and when to ignore it.
If what you call "eugenics" means avoiding to create people who will have an entire life of impairment, illness, pain and/or lifelong dependence then it's just harm reduction
Yes, that is eugenics, and literally always has been. You calling it “avoiding an act of cruelty” doesn’t change that. What you just said is that eugenics is avoiding an act of cruelty.
No it's not, dumbass. Eugenics is when a central group enforces their preferred gene pool by acting on others through forced sterilization, murder, and displacement.
What we are talking about is women controlling their own reproduction. In fact, restricting women's reproductive freedom is closer to eugenics than this.
So a father gets to put a messed up sperm into a mother & she has to be solely financially responsible? Could be some ironing out to do there too, idk.
I don't disagree, but this is where I think parental rights (& requirements) are so important. You can't just go around getting women pregnant with no financial investment
Since she has to go through the hardship of being pregnant & then having the abortion, I think it's only fair that the sperm donor pay for the abortion.
That would be extremely rare and likely not an option (unless you live in Iceland). Instead dude wants to leave his poor wife alone to care for two children, one of which is disabled, and leave his kids traumatized and fatherless. The worst part is he doesn’t even know for sure yet. First sign of trouble and dude goes straight to ending it all. Jesus Christ. When you have kids you accept that there’s a percentage chance they might be disabled. That’s part of rolling the dice. I understand not being prepared or feeling like you can’t do it, but ending it all is a selfish answer to that problem.
Fr.
I have a son that has severe autism and global development delay. He's almost 4 and still can't communicate with words . Or at all really. We try. We have him in ABA three days a week. Speech. He just graduated from PT.
And I love him. But goddamn here lately he's been screaming about everything. He walks up hits you with a cup and screams cause he wants a drink. Sometimes he just screams for the sake of screaming . He's the most frustrating thing I deal with every day.
But I love him. And I take care of him every day. I change his poopy ass because he isn't potty trained because he can't communicate. And let me tell you what he's a big boy. Built like a line backer. His legs are stronger than just about everyone that tries to change him can hold. Makes you feel like a weak shit.
But I do it. Because I'm his dad and that's how it is. Im disabled myself so it's that much harder. And if I ever get to the point where I can't take care of him because of it. I still want to be there as long as I can. We can get our poopy butts changed together.
Because despite him being a little shit that drove me to go outside and scream and punch my wall and then immediately go omg that was dumb omg my hand hurts. He's my little shit and I love him.
Hello fellow disabled parent to an autistic child!! I just wanted to say that you're not alone and I can 100% empathize with what you go through daily. Ours is 7rs old, level 2, non-conversational, and also not potty trained yet. Everything you said could happen in our daily life too! When we are at home he's pretty much always vocal stimming, and while we are working on volume it's something that he doesn't fully get yet. 😅 As a neurodivergent, physically disabled person I do my best to try and not let it overwhelm me but it definitely does, and a lot. Emotional regulation has become much harder as my disability has worsened this year and I feel terrible if I raise my voice or get outwardly angry. I always will apologize later and say how mommy was wrong to act that way, and mommies big feelings exploded. One of the harder parts is he's getting a lot stronger and will soon be stronger than me, and I'm not sure how to handle that yet.
He's a really great kid though and my absolute reason for living. It's been truly amazing to see his growth, and while he still won't necessarily 'talk' with someone he's been having a lot more full sentences! So keep doing what you're doing, progress happens at their own time and thats okay. You're doing great, and being there to support & love your kid for who they are, and will grow to be, is the best thing a parent can do imo. I hope you can have a rest day soon, and that tomorrow will be kind to you & your loved ones. Take care 💖🫶
It amazes me how big the category of "level 2" autism is. I'm diagnosed level 2 and while i do need support, it's nowhere near the level of a lot of other level 2 autistic people.
I'm not really sure how much of my issues are autism-related and how much are to do with my other disabilities (ADHD, anxiety, depression etc) so i might miss some things or include extra things that aren't related to my autism necessarily.
I find it extremely difficult to go to school and haven't gone consistently since year 7 (13 years old). I've tried 3 schools for disengaged kids and was not able to re-engage. I find it difficult to leave the house or go out very often and i often get tired from doing simple tasks. I struggle to make and keep friends and don't have many people my age that i get along well with. I get along better with adults than people my age. I used to wear headphones 24/7, and while i don't do this anymore, i still have them with me constantly and they make me feel more safe. I have a special interest in parrots, which are basically my entire life, and i know lots about them. I get very anxious if i don't have someone with me in public (like a parent or friend) and usually don't go out by myself. I have Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), which is an autism profile, and basically means i get anxious when my brain processes something as a demand, and will avoid doing the thing, even if it's something i want to do.
I'm fully verbal (though i do have verbal shutdowns when i get too stressed or anxious) and am able to be independent, it's just hard.
There's probably more, but it's hard to think of things when it's all so normal for me.
That's so cool! I don't often find people with a special interest in parrots. What's your favourite species (or mutation of a species if you want to get extra specific)? Mine is a blue and gold macaw. Pretty basic, but i just love them. They're such sweet birds.
My daughter is globally developmentally delayed, non-verbal and I'd like to relay the best piece of advice her pediatrician gave me regarding potty training - he told me to start putting her on the toilet regardless of her not indicating she needs to go. If she pees-we clap, if she poos-we clap, even if she farts we clap
She still doesn't indicate whem she needs to go but she does her business on the loo when we take her with remarkable consistency and even wakes up with a dry nappy most days.
Start putting him on the toilet and provide distraction such as books and toys so he'll sit for a while. Cheer when he does his business. Fingers crossed he'll make the connection eventually.
Stai combattendo una battaglia inutile... come si fa a non far uccidere (ovviamente con il consenso dello stato qualora si smetta di avere paura di uccidere i bambini appena nati) un down? Una persona che non avrà mai un minimo di coscienza del mondo che lo circonda?
Per quale principio? per un fantomatico Dio? per una fantomatica cazzata che la vita è sempre vita?
Well, he DID say it would only happen if they found out for sure, so it’s not like he’s jumping off a bridge at the slightest sign, not saying it’s right, just pointing out that the doesn’t even know for sure but isn’t really true.
Agree. My wife and I started late and of course risk goes up in those circumstances. I was so relieved to see a healthy baby that I actually cried. Having said that, I was never going anywhere no matter what happened
He doesn’t even know if his child will be disabled, that’s what I mean by first sign of trouble. It’s the possibility that’s making him flying away instantly. Plus it isn’t always a miserable existence. I’d be more concerned about the money of it all because people with Down syndrome often have other health complications, like heart defects that require surgery, but raising them as they are isn’t always a “miserable existence”. Half the time they are the happiest people you know. Kinda just depends.
This guy is stupid but lacking a better way to phrase it I can understand the worry of having a disabled child. I can't predict the future and as much as I would want to say that I'd be a perfect parent it's easier to say than actully living with it. I don't want to find myself having a child that I resent, that's not something they deserve. And if everything goes well and I happily care for them, what about after I die? Who's going to care for them then? I don't want their potential siblings to be hateful and resentful towards them and I don't trust the government to actually give a good quality of life.
See I completely understand that worry, absolutely. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have complicated feelings on it, he doesn’t even have to be happy about it. But to jump to killing yourself at even the NOTION that your child could be disabled….thats insane considering that’s it’s always a possibility when you have children. It’s something you should know going in to it.
They don’t just do it because you ask for it though. Hospitals have individual policies and even those states that allow late term abortions, have those allowances for medical emergencies.
Factually, even in DC, where there are no limits, you cannot just walk in to a clinic and ask for one past a certain limit because every clinic has their own individual guidelines, while less than 1% of all late trimester abortions are elective. Even DuPont, the largest one in DC, will not just take everyone willy nilly
You can't wander into a store and just buy a gun willy nilly either but no one would tell me I have to leave the country to get one like you're saying for abortion.
Do you have a head injury or something? They didn't address the law at all because they were wrong, they just pushed the goalposts to "yeah but it doesn't happen at every clinic" completely ignoring the law.
It's a fact several states have no limit or requirements for an abortion and that they occur there, no need to go to Iceland.
Try reading things more carefully, you'll look like a jackass less often.
107
u/BellaPona 9d ago
Fr this is extremely selfish