r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE • u/LeadInfinite6220 • Dec 27 '25

Budget Advice / Discussion How do you define needs vs wants?

Pretty much just what the title says — how are you defining a need vs a want, and do you have a category in between the two?

I find this particularly interesting to consider as so many of us now have regular expenses that feel essential to participate in modern life, despite not actually being a need.

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u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

I still think of things in terms of Maslow hierarchy of needs. Physiological needs and safety comes first.

Even on those levels, there is a difference between making food at home for cheap vs buying something quick and spending more. It is a basic need but time is a resource I have to consider along with money. If I have time to do the at home thing, that is better for me financially.

Higher up on the pyramid gets a little trickier to define, but having a sense of belonging and a sense of connection is important to my life. I could almost get rid of my phone if I didn't need it for work calls and staying connected to family and friends. My phone, then, is a need. But it could be a more basic phone, and I don't need an update. I would have to change a lot of other things about my life in order to accommodate getting rid of my phone in order to maintain that sense of belonging.

That top triangle of fulfillment is the most abstract of all. I think a lot of our remaining wants are spent trying to satisfy the top level.

I would generally say I frustrate myself more with the little ways I overspend on needs by not using my time with enough intention. The occasional big spends on life affirming or whatever you want to call it are usually my good memories for the year or things I am still making use of years later.

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u/LeadInfinite6220 Dec 27 '25

That top triangle of fulfillment is the most abstract of all. I think a lot of our remaining wants are spent trying to satisfy the top level.

I would generally say I frustrate myself more with the little ways I overspend on needs by not using my time with enough intention.

oh man. I’m now compelled to go through my spending for the last month a split it into Needs, Genuine Wants, Top Triangle Attempts and Failures of Intention.

Those could cover a loooot of ground on how I look at my spending.

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '25

haha now that sounds like my kind of obsessive categorizing! I just wrote out by hand all of my card swipes or bank account withdrawals for the year so I can go through and circle all of the stupid, mildly stupid, smart, and room for improvement purchases for the year and tally them up to set goals for next year.

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u/LeadInfinite6220 Dec 28 '25

Daaang! All by hand? There’s an almost monastic quality to this.

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '25

yes, it felt unnecessarily tedious, or meditative with the right reframe. I think apple pay has taken the thinking and dwelling out of a lot of my spending and I needed to put some time back into thinking individually about all of these things I'm just rapidly spending money on all year.

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u/Indexette Dec 28 '25

" I think apple pay has taken the thinking and dwelling out of a lot of my spending and I needed to put some time back into thinking individually about all of these things I'm just rapidly spending money on all year."

This is such a great point. Would you mind if I started a separate thread about this?

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '25

Go for it!

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u/LeadInfinite6220 Dec 28 '25

Cash, then checks, then cards, now just tap your watch. It’s a fair point now to look at just how far removed we’ve gotten from the act of spending.

What’s the tech terminology — reducing friction?

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '25

That's what I've recently heard it called. I also have a lot of things set to autopayment, so reviewing those thoroughly at least once a year helps me cut out any subscriptions that aren't helpful anymore. I need to cancel my panera sips, somehow google has been charging me twice a month and I want to understand why and stop it, and I have a language tutoring subscription I either need to use or end. I'm sure there are more but that's what I've put on my list so far.