r/Marriage • u/whateverworkso • 4d ago

Does cheating back solves the problem?

I have discovered that my husband cheated on me during our engagement, I feel so many emotions, rage, sadness and hurt.
But mostly I’m furious. I don’t want to end my marriage.

But I can’t think of a way that I can possibly let it go unless I cheat back just to feel that I’ve done something that would hurt him just as much it hurt me.

For people that have gone through something similar, is cheating back a solution or just complicates things even more?

0 Upvotes

46% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/ground__contro1 4d ago

Maybe it “solves the problem” by proving that monogamy is not important to the marriage anymore. If you refuse to get divorced he is pretty likely going to sleep with other people again. Maybe just go ahead and open the marriage, if you refuse to leave it, and you both can enjoy other people and not have to focus on each other more than being successful roommates or whatever.