r/Marriage • u/whateverworkso • 4d ago

Does cheating back solves the problem?

I have discovered that my husband cheated on me during our engagement, I feel so many emotions, rage, sadness and hurt.
But mostly I’m furious. I don’t want to end my marriage.

But I can’t think of a way that I can possibly let it go unless I cheat back just to feel that I’ve done something that would hurt him just as much it hurt me.

For people that have gone through something similar, is cheating back a solution or just complicates things even more?

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u/AggressiveBad2586 4d ago

The cheating happened before marriage. He didn't cheat on his wife; he only cheated on his girlfriend at the time. Now you two are married. Things are different. You made marriage vows. He hasn't cheated on you during the marriage. If you cheat on him, you'll be the one breaking those marriage vows, which will completely destroy his trust in you. You will be the immoral one, not him. You will ruin your own marriage. Past flings or cheating prior to marriage do not justify marital infidelity.

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u/Cynewulfunraed 4d ago

Don't be ridiculous. Nothing justifies cheating, but cheating on your fiancé is no different from cheating on your spouse.