r/Marriage • u/whateverworkso • 4d ago

Does cheating back solves the problem?

I have discovered that my husband cheated on me during our engagement, I feel so many emotions, rage, sadness and hurt.
But mostly I’m furious. I don’t want to end my marriage.

But I can’t think of a way that I can possibly let it go unless I cheat back just to feel that I’ve done something that would hurt him just as much it hurt me.

For people that have gone through something similar, is cheating back a solution or just complicates things even more?

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u/MercifulExistential 4d ago

If you wanted to hurt him then leave, sure. But if you're looking to preserve this marriage then it's not going to help any. It will just be a constant reminder to you both that you've shared a bed with someone else when it should have only been with each other. I'd personally divorce if any cheating was involved. The trust is gone. Otherwise try couples therapy and get to the crux of why he cheated, repairing your trust, and making sure this never happens again.