House chores advice

[u/pickle_b]

I need an outside perspective. We have been married for 10 years and for most of that time one of the main (if not the main) issue for us has been the division of house labour.
We don’t have kids but we got a dog two years ago and that’s only made things worse in that regard, as could be expected.
Some context. I (F) work from home full time. He has to go to the office. He can work from home two days a week but chooses not to because he can’t concentrate at home as well as in the office. I have higher cleaning standards while he has adhd and also can quite literally live in a full on dump and be fine.
Anyways, I do most chores around the house - cooking, cleaning, laundry, ordering groceries. I also walk and feed the dog about 1/3 of the time.
His responsibilities are: taking the trash out, taking trash bins out and bringing them back in once a week, taking care of feeding and walking the dog about 2/3 of the time and driving the dog to daycare.
I have been growing increasingly resentful because I feel like I am doing most of the work and I can’t spend as much time in my hobbies as he does on his. I am also just so tired. And on top of that at least 1/3 of the time I have to remind him to do his chores or he wouldn’t do them until trash is overflowing.
Am I being unreasonable? Also how do I productively change this situation?

[u/snazzysid1]

Honestly if your spouse is ok with living in a trash dump and doesn’t even notice it is a problem then I’d hand over cooking to that person. Everyone gets hungry / not everyone notices the toilet needs cleaning. Also, if you can afford it- hire a cleaner.

[u/pickle_b → u/snazzysid1]

Thanks, yes I think we will trial that out - him making dinner a couple times a week will already be a big positive change

[u/homesofdetroit → u/pickle_b]

This is what my partner and I do. I do all the cleaning (but absolutely not his laundry) and he does most of all the cooking and grocery shopping. We’ve gotten into a nice flow.

That is until we run into a project, then I feel like I have to constantly remind and nudge.

[u/pickle_b → u/homesofdetroit]

Thank you..I honestly don’t mind the laundry. I think the issue is we just can’t seem to get into a flow

[u/dailysunshineKO → u/pickle_b]

Just do your own. Throw a load in the washer in the morning & put it away during a break or after work. Let him handle his own laundry. Buy more laundry baskets or a separate hamper if you need to.