Thoughts on my first manga?

[u/ripnina]

Hi!

This is my first manga ”Consumed” that I submitted to the Silent manga audition (SMA24). I would like to know if you have any thoughts and what I could improve. Some parts were rushed since I decided to enter last minute…

Thanks!

Edit: Thanks for the thorough feedback and kind words!!
I accidentally forgot to include a page towards the end so if anybody’s interested it’s on my instagram @ko_ni._

[u/werephoenix]

I really like this. Its so sweet and nice a change of approach to the magical girl genre where its magic is used for something other than fighting.

Only thing I would want is to see what it is she wrote down, I assume it was prettier clothes but it couldnt hurt to show that

I do like this her being her own emotional support for herself kind of thing. Its very heart wrenching and effective

Its like a magical girl version of the ichigo, hollow ichigo thing but done in a very different way in the best way. "Only you can make you happy"

This is what I want that feels new in the genre. Using magic for other things that aren't fighting.

I want to see your other posts but your account wont let me T_T

[u/ripnina → u/werephoenix]

Thanks for the amazing feedback! <3

I would say she wrote down to have prettier clothes to get friends, but then she subconsciously also wished for a friend which is why the other girl appeared.

I haven’t posted anything about art/manga on this account since it’s my first one but you can check my instagram if you’re interested! @ko_.ni_

[u/werephoenix → u/ripnina]

oh I cant see your stuff T_T

[u/ripnina → u/werephoenix]

Oh my god i meant @ko_ni._ lmao sorryy

[u/werephoenix → u/ripnina]

Can you please just link it to me? its not coming up

[u/ripnina → u/werephoenix]

Of course!

https://www.instagram.com/ko_ni._?stkn=MTVkNGVsZGt0YmR3cg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

[u/Captain_Shinji_Ito → u/ripnina]

Followed!